Chapter 23
Jonathan stopped outside Noah’s bedroom door for a few moments, doing his best to calm himself down. To release the anger he felt.
Seeing Violet sprawled on the floor like that had stirred something agonizing within him.
And then, when she had tried to get up and had fallen again, the lance of fear he had felt had cut him more deeply than anything that had affected him in the last few years.
He had believed something was seriously wrong with her—why wasn’t she able to stay on her feet?
In the moment when he had picked her up in his arms, he had been on the verge of running for a physician while carrying her.
Thankfully, reason had prevailed, and he had taken the time to ascertain the truth of the situation before rushing off with her. Once she had been seated on the bed, it had been clear that nothing was wrong with her, and that the fault lay with the gown.
He just couldn’t believe Noah had been so audacious in his behavior.
He knocked twice at the door. Even when receiving punishment, he felt, the boy was entitled to a bit of privacy. But that was a privilege he would lose if he didn’t correct his behavior.
“Who is it?” Noah’s voice was sharp and suspicious, almost as though he was anticipating a rebuke.
Jonathan opened the door.
Noah was sitting in the chair beside the window. A large book was open in his lap, but he wasn’t looking at the pages. He was watching Jonathan instead, his eyes narrowed.
“What are you reading?” Jonathan asked him.
“Just a book.” Noah’s tone was defensive. Mistrustful.
“What’s the book about?” Jonathan heard the challenge in his own voice. He was responding to the defensiveness, yet he knew he was escalating the situation, making it more fraught.
Noah didn’t answer.
“Did you take a book from the library and bring it back here as a prop?” Jonathan asked him.
“So that you would look as if you were doing something when I came in here? You knew that I was going to come, didn’t you?
” He thought about it for a moment. “You must have realized when you heard her scream. Is that right?” The memory of the scream made his blood hot and cold at the same time.
When had he last felt that kind of horror?
“I didn’t know she was going to be that upset,” Noah defended himself.
“So you mean to tell me that you did know she would be upset. Just not that upset.”
“It was only a joke.”
“Why don’t you explain to me why these jokes are funny, Noah?” Jonathan suggested, his tone biting. “Why don’t you see if you can clear this up for me. Because this is what I see—you ruined Violet’s gown by spilling tomato juice all over her. Is that part right?”
“It was only…”
“And then,” Jonathan pressed on, “she went out to the modiste to have some new things made, in part to replace what you ruined. And as soon as her new gowns arrived, you took to them with scissors so that they were ruined too.” He shook his head.
“Why would you do that? I can’t understand it.
I thought you liked Violet. Didn’t you tell me that you didn’t want us to be enemies?
That you wanted the three of us to all be friends? ”
“I do want that!” Noah’s eyes went so wide that Jonathan couldn’t help but think he was being sincere. “We are friends, aren’t we?”
“Well, would you think someone was your friend if they came in here and destroyed your things?” Jonathan asked him.
“What if I did that? What if I came into this room while you were out and took something that was important to you, and I ruined it for no reason—just because I thought it would be funny to do that? Would that be all right with you? When you saw me next, would you laugh at the joke, or would you be angry with me for daring to touch your things and for destroying them?”
Noah bit his lip. “I…I would be angry,” he murmured, looking down.
“And can’t you see that that’s what you did to Violet?
” Jonathan asked him. “She went to a lot of trouble to pick out those new gowns. You know that. For you to sneak into her room and destroy them when she wasn’t looking…
before she ever even had the chance to wear them.
That was cruel, Noah. You ruined something she was excited about.
You took away a piece of her happiness. Don’t you see that?
How can you do such a thing and say that you think of yourself as a friend to her? ”
Noah’s lip quivered. “It was only a joke,” he whispered. “I thought she would laugh.”
“But why would she laugh? She was devastated that her gowns were ruined. Not to mention the fact that she tripped on the cut skirts and nearly fell,” Jonathan added.
“That’s the second time a prank of yours could have caused an injury, you know.
You do these things without thinking about the consequences, and that isn’t acceptable. Not while you’re living in my house.”
The words my house had just slipped out.
He hadn’t planned to say them. Once he had, they hung in the air, and for a moment, Jonathan was sure that Noah was going to argue.
He would snap back that it wasn’t Jonathan’s house, not really, and that therefore Jonathan had no right to make any rules here.
But Noah didn’t say that. He didn’t comment on the phrase at all. He didn’t look up at Jonathan. He barely moved.
“I need you to promise me that this is the end of it,” Jonathan said firmly.
“The very last of the pranks. I understand that you’re trying to be funny, Noah, truly I do.
But it isn’t funny. You’re causing damage to things people care about, and if you’re not careful, someone might get hurt.
It doesn’t matter how clever you think the prank is. Nothing is worth that.”
“I didn’t want anyone to get hurt,” Noah whispered, his eyes welling with tears.
“I know that,” Jonathan told him, more gently now.
“Of course you didn’t. And you’re lucky, because nobody was hurt, Noah.
But it could have ended differently. What you have now is an opportunity to make a choice.
You can choose to stop carrying out these tricks.
You can stop now, before any lasting damage is done.
Everything that’s been damaged so far can be replaced.
You don’t want to accidentally take it too far, though, to cause harm to something—or someone—that can’t be undone. Do you?”
“No,” Noah said quickly. “I don’t want that. I’ll stop. I’m sorry.”
“Well, apologizing to me isn’t what you really need to do,” Jonathan said. “You must apologize to Violet, because she’s the one who was harmed by what you did.”
Noah trembled. “Is she angry at me?”
He really was frightened, Jonathan saw. Violet had been right to worry about this. And the thought occurred to him—she might not be much of a taskmaster or a disciplinarian, but when it came to tenderness and understanding, she was much better than he was.
Noah needs both. He needs someone who can be firm with him when the moment calls for it, yes.
But he also needs someone who can be gentle, someone who can anticipate his fears and anxieties.
Someone who knows the way things will affect him and can act accordingly.
If I had come in here and treated him exactly the way I wanted to, with no input from Violet at all, I don’t think it would have been effective.
I think I would have frightened him so badly that he wouldn’t have been able to hear what I was trying to tell him, and we would both have been worse off for my attempt.
He needs both of us, really and truly.
“She isn’t angry at you,” Jonathan said.
“But you have hurt her. She didn’t get hurt when she fell—though she certainly could have.
But you hurt her feelings by destroying something that mattered to her as if it wasn’t very important.
That’s what you need to apologize for. You need to let her know that you understand why that was wrong, and that you won’t do anything like it again.
You need to ask her for her forgiveness. ”
Noah nodded quickly. “I will,” he assured Jonathan. “I’ll go right now.”
“That’s good.” Jonathan patted his shoulder. “That’s the right thing to do. A man takes accountability for the things he’s done. I’m proud of you for being willing to do that much, Noah. I’m pleased with the young man you’re becoming.”
Noah managed a small smile, and though it was shaky and unsure, Jonathan knew that Noah was going to be all right. He would come through this having learned why what he had done here was wrong, and if he could put a stop to the pranks, he would do much better from now on.
And Jonathan felt a small swelling of pride and satisfaction at that realization.
He had accomplished something here. He had helped Noah understand why his behavior had to be corrected, and he believed that Noah would change because of what he, Jonathan, had said. This was guiding Noah. This was parenting him.
I can do this. If he ends up in my care, if I am the one to raise him, he won’t suffer for it. I will be able to bring him up well enough, and he won’t turn out worse for having been raised by me.
This, he understood suddenly, was what Violet had feared—that he would have this realization.
But perhaps she shouldn’t have worried, because he was having another realization simultaneously, one that was hard to ignore.
The fact of the matter was that Noah wasn’t making a change because Jonathan had told him to—not really. Jonathan had found the right thing to say to convince him, but that thing had been a warning that he had caused harm to Violet.
He was willing to change his ways, not because of Jonathan’s reprimand—Jonathan knew that—but because of his love for Violet.
I would be doing him a disservice to separate him from her. But I don’t know how to manage that. I don’t know how to balance it. One of us will eventually inherit this house, and I do want it to be me. I’ve always wanted that, and nothing has changed, so how am I supposed to move forward?
He let himself out of the room and went down the hall toward his study.
Whatever was going to happen with Violet and Noah now would happen between the two of them.
He had done his part, and there was nothing more he needed to manage.
He believed that Noah would apologize and turn over a new leaf—although if that didn’t happen, he knew their next conversation would be very severe indeed.
But right now, he was more concerned with the things he needed to say to himself.
He had to seriously consider what his goal here was. He had to decide how far he was willing to go to get this house and what price he was willing to pay.
Because whatever the cost of it was, he could see now that it would be paid by Noah, too. And there was no way for the boy to get out of this situation without losing something that had become vital to him.
Either he would lose Violet, or he would lose Jonathan. And they had come too far now for either of those things not to matter.