Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
“The gardener would like to express his apologies to you and the duchess, for the problems caused by his mistakes in the garden,” Arnold reported.
“He said that the duchess was right and he had accidentally planted two flowers that would compete for the nutrients in the soil and therefore hamper their development with them side by side. He finished the work Her Grace had begun – which he commended was quite neat – and expressed that he would never make the same mistake again.”
Edward exhaled deeply, feeling strangely bereft. He was relieved to hear that she had been right with her intentions, but that barely changed the fact that her actions had been beneath her.
The sooner she learned to act in a way that honoured her new title, the better it would be for them both.
So... why did he still feel bothered by it?
“How is she? The duchess... is she adapting well to the household?” the duke questioned, setting down his quill.
The butler stood straighter and nodded. “She has been rather eager to take on her duties as duchess. She is already preparing to oversee some renovations in different areas of the house, as well as the replacement of some furniture. Maude has remarked greatly about her instincts and sense of style, so we are expecting impressive results, based on what she has done thus far. The cook is quite... appreciative of her, because she always sends him her gratitude for each meal. She is very kind to every member of the staff.”
“That is good. I do want her to feel as comfortable as possible. Whatever she needs, ensure that she has it,” Edward instructed.
It was nice to receive word of her well-being, especially seen their paths had not crossed since they had that tense conversation a few days ago.
At first, Edward had wanted to believe it was because they were both occupied with different tasks individually, but even when he purposefully left his study and walked out in hopes of catching sight of her, he did not get a chance to do so.
He caught a few glimpses of her taking walks outside in the garden from the window of his study and hurriedly making her way around corners in hallways, and he had a feeling she had been avoiding him. It only added to the discontent they had felt about how he had left things between them.
Edward had intended to ask how she was, oddly distracted by the flush in her skin. It was almost annoying, that after the night they’d had, their first interaction would be him scolding her about how she was meant to act, and it did not feel right.
He could not understand why it left him feeling so incredibly unsettled.
“Would that be all, Your Grace?” Arnold asked.
“Yes – wait. Tell Maude that I will be joining the duchess for dinner tonight... The duchess should be duly informed as well.”
The butler bowed. “Of course, Your Grace.”
Moments after he had been left alone, Edward exhaled, wondering if things were meant to be this complicated. It had only been a few days since he had been wed and it was as though he was already encountering difficulties.
He was unsure of what he had expected, but he knew that nothing about his current predicament had been predicted – especially how his body had reacted to Phoebe.
The week he had offered was meant to be a courtesy to her, because he still did not understand how a woman so beautiful, blessed with a delectably body had gone unnoticed and unattached for so long.
While he was surprised she had never entertained a lover, there was a strange satisfaction that manifested in him at the thought of being her first.
The first to feel her, to taste her, to know her. It was all meant to be a simple means to an end until he had an heir, but he relished in the thought of having her warm his bed – perhaps more than once.
His breeches tightened and with a single glance downward, he tossed his head back, groaning in annoyance.
“I must have taken leave of my senses,” he muttered resolutely, absentmindedly wondering how many more hours were left until dinner.
Edward might have arrived early.
The table had been set and the courses prepared, but the duchess had not arrived yet. He wondered if perhaps she was going to avoid him still, but perished the thought as soon as it had formed in his mind.
He might not know a lot about his wife, but he knew she was not one to avoid her problems. There was no reason for her to keep any distance from him – at least not to this extent.
The doors to the dining hall opened and Phoebe walked in, looking rather lovely in a deep blue dress.
For a moment, all he could think of was her body writhing in his grasp as he pleasured her with his fingers.
His ears rang with every gasp and moan that breathlessly left her lips.
It stuck him deeply, how beautiful she had looked then, and even now.
Now, though, she was a regal vision as she curtsied to him slightly.
“Good evening... Edward,” she greeted softly.
At least she was getting better at saying his name rather than addressing him formally.
“Good evening, Phoebe. You do not have to do that. We are, after all, equals as man and wife,” he told her causally.
She nodded and took her place at the other end of the table, settling in her seat delicately. Edward was struck by how far away she seemed and reached for his glass of wine in a bid to distract himself.
The first course was served and as they ate the excellent chowder and bread prepared by their cook, the awkwardness in the air threatened to choke him until he spoke up.
“How are you adapting to... your new home?”
He tried not to wince at how generic the question sounded, and tried to justify it to himself by remembering that while he had some idea of how she was doing, he had not heard it from her lips, so it hardly mattered.
Phoebe glanced up at him and lowered her spoon.
“Fine, I suppose. It’s... it is not without its challenges but I am learning as quickly as I can. The staff have been remarkably supportive, so I cannot claim that I am doing things by myself. It is going well.”
He nodded at her response, still feeling uncomfortable. The second course arrived as he said,
“Well, I think you are doing a commendable job thus far. If you need anything – be it assistance or material things, do not hesitate to let me know. You are not to worry about a single thing, as my wife. Those are the terms of our deal, and you are allowed to take advantage of them as you please.”
She nodded curtly, not looking at him as she replied,
“Thank you, Edward.”
He considered bringing up another subject of conversation, but it would hardly change the fact that there was still tension that needed to be addressed.
“Are you upset with me for some reason?”
Phoebe looked at him then. “Does it seem that way?”
A wave of irritation washed over him and he ignored it, along with her intention to act clueless.
“It does. Especially since it seems as though the reason lies with what I had told you, a few days ago. Do you think I was wrong to chastise you?” Her question, straightforwardly.
Phoebe frowned and folded her arms.
“It seems to me that you have surmised that something is wrong, but rather than try to figure out what might be the problem, you expect me to clue you in. What would be the point then?”
This was not going in the direction it was meant to.
“I am simply —” Edward grunted as the irritation began to boil beneath his skin again.
“I do not understand why you are upset with me. You had no reason to have done what you did. Yes, you were right about the flowers. All you had to do was tell the housekeeper and she would’ve informed the gardener when he arrived the next day.
I saw no reason why you needed to take it upon yourself to fix the problem.
I know it has only been a few days since we were wed, but I expected you to be more conscious of your current status and title. ”
“Do you not realize that you are asking for far too much at this time? I don’t need you to scold me like a child, but I would appreciate it if you were a little bit patient. I need to adapt and I will. I am doing my best.” She huffed, looking upset.
Edward immediately felt bad, because she was right. She had made a mistake and rather than show her grace, he was quickly to get upset over it.
“Why did you do it? Despite your situation, you are of noble birth. Why was it so easy for you to lower yourself to your knees and stick your hands into the soil without caring what anyone thought or saw?” he asked quietly, still curious about her motivations.
Phoebe shifted slightly in her chair and exhaled deeply, making him want to rescind the question. However, she responded before he could do so.
“That might have been the case when I was a child, but things changed at some point and I was raised in a household where my actions mattered as well. No one replied on just my words or commands, but what I did made a bigger impact than any of that. My siblings and I learned very quickly that we cannot hope for the things we wanted and we had to work hard for our dreams. So, I have always needed to do things myself, and as a result, it is my response to everything,” she explained quietly.
Edward nodded in understanding, because her words clearly explained what it was he had witnessed that day. However, it hardly told him why she had become that way.
“It sounds as though you and your family have been through quite a lot. What happened?” he asked gently.
Phoebe inhaled slowly, then she met his gaze, her demeanor soft.
“My parents died when I was a young girl, thirteen years of age, to be exact. We had a large tree right next to our hour that was very old but sturdy. My sister and I used to play on the swing our father had strung up from one of the branches and my brother had climbed it on numerous occasionally — despite my mother’s many warnings.
It felt like a friend, that tree, because we loved it dearly.
On a stormy night, it was set ablaze and struck down by lightning, which caused it to fall onto our house.
I remember running to my parents with my sister in my arms once I noticed the fire and then we went to find Rowland…
I had fallen down at some point, when we running down stairs to the front door and I fainted.
The fire didn’t last long because of the rain but my parents died still, because they had tried to save us.
A branch had struck me across the face on my way down and that was how I got this scar on my face. ”
She did not seem sad, but rather resigned, as though she had long since made peace with the situation that was her life. And for some reason, it upset Edward greatly, especially because he did not know how to comfort her.
He frowned slightly, feeling unsettled at the very thought of even comforting her and he wonders when he grew empathic of others.
“It sounds as though your childhood was difficult,” he said after a long moment of silence.
Phoebe regarded him with a look of amusement, as if she wasn’t surprised by his lukewarm words.
“It was. We had to fend for ourselves because we had no relatives willing to care for us. Rowland became viscount and began to care for us as best as he could, but with my face ruined, there was hardly anyway way for me to marry well, like I was expected to. Not for lack of trying though, as I had attended a few events during my very first season. But I was made aware quickly that men preferred to have their future wives unmarred, regardless of whatever the cause might be.” She shrugged nonchalantly, as the final course was served.
“Those men are fools. Your scar is not as disturbing as they claim it is. I am not one to say things callously or for the sole purpose of offering some sort of meager comfort. So, know that I do not saw this as a shallow attempt to grant you relief. I truly do not find a single thing wrong with you. You are not flawed because of your scar, but rather it shows how strong you are. You and your siblings survived what many could not. Rather than find you unworthy, you should be commended for your journey this far. You are remarkable, Phoebe. So, you should think of yourself as much,” Edward advised, lifting his napkin to the corner of his lips.
The next second, he rose out of his chair and a startled look crossed his wife’s face.
“You are leaving already? You hardly touched your food,” she complained.
“I have important matters to attend to,” he informed her, because it was much safer than admitting he had only joined her because he wanted to see her and verify her well-being for himself. “Do have a pleasant evening, duchess.”
He walked over to where she was seated, took her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of it, making sure to keep his eyes locked on hers the entire time.
“And you as well, duke,” she smiled as that lovely rosy color settled on her cheeks.
Edward nodded and left the room quickly, before he did something stupid like kiss her, already knowing he would be unable to think of much else other than that for the rest of the night.