Chapter 19
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“And... done,” Phoebe exhaled in relief as she put down the last finishing touch to her drawing.
She stretched her hands above her head, holding the posture foe a few seconds as her body got some much-needed reprieve after holding a stiff posture for hours on end.
Because she had been worried about worrying her husband again, she had tried not to lose herself in her work, and as a result, it had taken her longer than usual to complete her commissions. However, she was finally done, and could at last submit them to Mr. Lambert.
It was a miracle that Edward had not recognized her style from the newspapers and she had no words to explain how glad she was that the crisis had passed. She could only imagine how upset Edward might be that she was reducing herself to manual labor once more, despite his complaints.
Thinking of her husband had ignited fire within Phoebe and she was never sure what to do about it. He consumed much of her thoughts and she found that she yearned to be the focus of his attention, to receive his touch once more.
Ever since their visit to his aunt’s estate, she had found herself staring at him, her heart hurting as she recalled what she had been told about his upbringing.
She wanted to ask him how he had dealt with it all, what sort of illness his father had and she wanted to hear, from his lips, more about the life he’d had until he met her.
She sensed that he was hiding something, but she could never be sure what it was, nor could she muster the courage to actually ask him any of the questions she had.
When it came down to it, his affairs and his past was none of her business. She might have gotten too comfortable with the moments they had shared, but the truth of the matter was that theirs was a marriage of convenience and no matter what she thought, that was not going to change.
It was quite late into the night, and as a result, the house felt so silent, one might believe it was uninhabited. And because Phoebe had already guessed she would finish working late, she had also decided previously to see Mr. Lambert that same night and submit it.
Quietly, she put on a cloak, stuffed her work into the pocket she had sewed into it and stealthily made her way out of the house. She had made arrangements with the coachman to wait for her a little away from the estate, so that she could sneak away from the house and meet him to drive her to town.
This made her trip more efficient and in nearly no time at all, she was at the newspaper publishing house.
“I shall only be gone a few minutes,” she told the coachman as she pulled her cloak closer around her body.
“Yes, Your Grace,” he nodded respectfully.
She was thankfully he had not asked any questions and glad that she could trust in his discretion.
There were less people up and about, compared to the day time, so Phoebe felt slightly more relaxed as she made her way through the familiar hallways. Mr. Lambert’s door was open and he was drinking from a large mug with a broken handle, which he set on his table as soon as she wandered in.
“Ah, Miss Danvers. It is rather late for you, is it not?” he queried in concern.
“Well, I finished these and I thought there was no time than the present, to deliver them. I was also concerned that might not be able to meet the deadline,” she told him sympathetically, as she handed him her work.
He took a moment as usual to assess them, smiling with satisfaction after looking through the pages.
“I wish yours was a skill that could be taught. My girls could learn a thing or two from you,” he sighed wistfully.
“I do believe that if they try their hand at anything and work hard, they could do exceedingly well,” she advised with a smile.
“I can only hope so. They are still young, thirteen and sixteen but all they want to do is whisper about boys with their mama. I wish they could understand that there is nothing special about those bastards. I should know – I was one of those brats,” he shook his head as he pulled open a drawer and counted some money.
“Here is your payment for this job, and the last one as well. I included some extra, because out of all my staff, you are the only one who doesn’t give me an ounce of grief. For that, I will forever be grateful.”
Phoebe collected the money, blinking back tears of immense gratitude as she noticed the bills were slightly more than usual.
“I am immensely grateful as well, Mr. Lambert. Your kindness has saved my life, more than you would know. Thank you, sir.”
He waved a hand in the air, looking bashful. “Would you like me to ask one of the gents to escort you home?”
“Oh, no, sir. I will be just fine, do not worry,” she said quickly.
He made a face, as though he could not fathom being worried and she assured him she would be fine. Eventually, he relented and offered to walk her to the door of the establishment at least.
“You take care now. And go straight home,” he instructed, opening the door for her.
Phoebe laughed, “Am I also one of your daughters, Mr. Lambert?”
“Perhaps. Good night, Miss Danvers,” he huffed in a rough voice as she slipped out.
“Good night sir,” she smiled as she stepped into the night air and walked towards her carriage.
The money from a single job was good enough to get Anna a new dress, but with what she had earned from two jobs – plus the extra – she could get Anna a pair of shoes or two and perhaps the hair pin she had wanted for quite some time now.
Phoebe had been so distracted by the thought of surprising her sister with nice things that she did not notice the figure standing in front of her carriage until she felt a hand grab her by the wrist and pull her forward.
She opened her mouth to scream, but the words died in her throat as she got a good look of who was holding her.
“E-Edward?”
When Edward was younger, his aunt had been quite worried about him because after the death of his parents, he had adopted a strange method of regulating his emotions.
He hardly grew upset, or angry, and it in fact seemed as though he took things too lightly – even though the results of his work always spoke differently about his dealings.
Still, she fussed and fussed over him, trying her best to encourage him to be more expressive, because she feared he had grown up too fast and as a result had not learned how to properly handle his feelings.
Edward never thought he was in any danger of being consumed by any of his feelings.
To him, it was an unlikely occurrence, and there were not a lot of things that could upset him when he had worked to remain detached from people and things.
Tonight, however, proved him wrong. Very wrong.
Because he was furious.
“Edward,” Phoebe tried, swallowing nervously. “I-I can explain. I was just –”
“I was quite gracious with you. Patient even, as you adjusted to your life as a duchess. It was one thing to be inexperienced with the dealings of nobility and it was another thing entirely for you to refuse to think and choose to be smart about the way you handle your business. If you needed to have an affair, then you should have been more discreet. What would people think if they were to find out? I had to call in personal favors to sort out the matter about your sister, but it had not been as difficult because she was not as significant to the ton. They would eat us alive if they caught wind of your infidelity –”
“There is no – firstly, do not bring my sister into this,” Phoebe snapped angrily, even though her heart was shaking from his cold tone. “Secondly, you are gravely mistaken. I am not being unfaithful!”
“And I am just supposed to believe that my wife is up and about, dressed as though she has a secret rendezvous with a lover in an alley for no reason other than the obvious? Surely you do not think me so stupid,” he scoffed stiffly, staring at her with what he hoped was an unamused expression.
“I do not think you are stupid, but you are jumping to baseless conclusions. Why on earth would I be unfaithful to you? What would I even gain?” Phoebe asked, feeling too exasperated to even worry about her secret.
“I do not know, Phoebe! That is what I have asked myself in the ten minutes that I waited here for you to return. But as much as I would like you to give me a reason, I do not know if I can trust a single word out of your mouth. I do not know how long this has been going on, I don’t know why you are doing this or who else knows about it, because if I have caught wind of your illicit affair, only God knows who else has,” Edward snapped, his tone cold even to his ears.
A look of hurt crossed Phoebe’s face and he felt his heart squeeze uncomfortably in his chest. As much as he would have loved to say he was unaffected by the issue, only annoyed by the risk taken on their behalf to settle whatever urges she has, the truth was, deep down, he felt jealous.
Who was this man? How dare he put his hands on Edward’s wife? What gave him the right to feel as though he had earned her moans? What audacity did he have to feel worthy enough to witness her pleasure?
It was a sickening feeling, and it was terrifying, how easily it was consuming him.
“I told you,” Phoebe began weakly, looking as though the fight was slipping out of her. “There was no affair. I work for the newspaper.”
Edward’s lips parted to refute her words as soon as they hit his ears, but then they echoed in his mind and he really heard them for what they actually were.
“You... what?”
The duchess exhaled and her shoulders drooped, making her seem like a defeated creature.
“The newspaper editor, Mr. Lambert gave me a job some time ago, after I had searched for some source of income in order to help my family’s finances.
Those drawings you saw on my desk the other day?
They were a commission he gave me, and in a few days, they will be featured in the city’s newspapers.
I know it is unseemly, so I have always discreetly met with him to pick up commissions and submit the work I have done and I only just submitted the most recent work I had completed,” she explained calmly.
Edward blinked at her and then glanced around his surroundings, for the first time realizing that the carriage was parked behind the newspaper house.
And the man who had escorted Phoebe to the door had sounded distinctly like Mr. Lambert, who had come to Edward’s estate months ago when he invited him, and told him to publish the advertisement for a wife.
If Phoebe worked for him, then that was likely how she had found out about it. He had always wondered how she had gotten wind of it so early and there was no way to have known she was privy to inside information.
The anger in him dissipated slightly as relief gripped his insides, only for them to be flooded with distaste once he realized that there was another problem.
“Why are you still working for him, Phoebe? If you had this job before we were married, I would understand, but why are you still doing this?”
A strange look crossed her face and she sighed deeply.
“I still take commissions for the same reason I began in the first place – to take care of my family. Do you have any idea what it takes a household to ensure that a young lady of the family has a successful debut and season? New dresses, new shoes, eye catching accessories – everything that would make her stand out to catch the eye of as many potential suitors as possible. The dent that would have put in our finances would have made things incredibly difficult for Rowland, but Anna deserved to have a wonderful debut. She deserved to have a fair chance – as much as anyone else did. And she still does. Her needs do not magically go away because I am now married, Edward.”
Edward inhaled sharply, doing his best not to snap again.
“That is not what I mean. I would like to understand why you did not just ask me for money. You are my wife, Phoebe. I am more than willing to provide you with anything your heart desires, if only you just ask,” he told her, his veins pulsing with frustration.
“I did not want to be a burden!” Phoebe cried, looking as stressed as he felt. “They are my family – mine to care for. It was not included in our deal that you would also take on the duty of fulfilling the role I was handling just fine.”
“Just fine? Phoebe, you spent a whole day drawing and starved yourself. Only God knows how you handle your work before we were wed, but that doesn’t matter.
You should know that I would never turn away any request that you have.
What sort of husband would I be if I ignored the needs of my wife’s family?
It might have not been included in our deal, but I am amendable to the adjustments of our clauses.
I only wished you have talked to me,” Edward expressed earnestly.
He did not understand why he was so upset about this. It was strange, how much he disliked the fact that she had not come to him in her time of need. It made him feel like a bad, incompetent husband.
Afterall, she was his. His to keep, his to adore and care for. So why wouldn’t she let him? How could he not have noticed sooner?
There were so many thoughts swirling around in his head, and they were confused him greatly because they spurred strange feelings he had never had before.
In the midst of it all, he wanted to touch her. She looked upset and while a part of him wanted to comfort her, another wished to claim her. He wanted to remind her who she belonged to, ached to ravage her until she was certain of that fact.
“Come, Phoebe,” he instructed hoarsely as he opened the door to the carriage. “Let’s go home.”