Chapter 29
STELLA
I didn’t know what compelled me to attend Felix’s court hearing. All I knew was that I had to be there to see his devastation firsthand.
I planned on going alone, however, Curtis had other plans. He always knew me better than I knew myself. He’d clocked my shady behaviour as soon as I walked through his front door. I’d planned to dump the boys for their playdate with Logan and be on my way.
Instead, my best friend had our dads on speed dial, teeing up two new babysitters before I could mutter a protest.
At first, I was pissed at his audacity—then kind of turned on. But as I sat in the courtroom, watching karma hit my ex-husband, I knew Curtis had made the right decision.
I sat ramrod straight, almost frozen in position. The only warmth I could feel was siphoned from the man next to me. Curtis held my trembling hand, his thumb rhythmically caressing over mine, providing silent, subtle support that tethered me to the present.
Except, my reaction wasn’t in response to Felix. It was more internal.
I was losing myself.
Did I feel guilty working alongside Daisy in corrupting his reputation and poaching his company from underneath him? No.
Did I feel an ounce of remorse for forging the bulk of those countless transactions dating back to the beginning of his affair? No.
Did I care that I had systematically taken everything of monetary worth? No.
In all honesty, it wasn’t that hard. Between the two cheaters, they had made their demise entirely too easy.
When did I become so remorseless, so unrelenting? He was a man I had once considered my other half. And now, watching him wracked with anxiety and fear for his future made me feel… vindicated.
What is wrong with me?
The only thing I was willing to concede were our sons.
Despite Felix being a terrible husband, that didn’t mean he would fail as a father.
He had let our family down in the last year, but I was already seeing changes from him, trying to become better and be an active participant in their lives. I could acknowledge that.
For us, though, it was far too late.
Felix held those unsigned divorce papers over my head, refusing to acknowledge the separation, failing to realise that it only made me resent him more.
So, when that final verdict was called out by the judge, I knew I’d be paying my soon-to-be ex-husband a visit.
I knocked on the door of our old family home, Eli and Phoenix trailing behind with their weekend backpacks in tow.
I had yielded the location for Felix’s house arrest, wanting my sons to deal with the least amount of change and resistance possible.
Felix opened the door, his face going slack with surprise.
“Stella, I wasn’t—”
Phoenix barrelled forward to tackle his dad’s legs before disappearing inside, and Eli skimmed past with a grumbled greeting before following his brother. Which left Felix and I on our own.
“Do you… do you want to come in?”
“No, thanks,” I said. My gaze tracked down his frame, catching on the bulge beneath the hem of his pants.
With the help of his cutthroat lawyer, Felix had gotten lucky. Twelve months’ house arrest with an ankle bracelet and extra restrictions were nothing compared to being incarcerated.
Felix stepped outside and closed the door behind him, giving us privacy. It was the first time we’d truly been alone since I had cut everything off.
“Thanks for signing over the company,” I said to break the tension.
He shrugged, pushing his hands into his pants pockets, mimicking my stance. “The company always belonged to you… It has your name on it, after all.”
“Look, Felix. I know your lawyer, Michael, works for your dad, and I thought it warranted a conversation. We cut Edgar out of our lives because he was toxic, misogynistic and a bad influence. Has he met the boys?”
“No. I’d never make a move like that without asking you, Stella,” he said, his face crumbling slightly, taken aback by my questioning.
“Yes, he was there to help me financially, but he has been kept at arm’s length, with solid boundaries in place.
We’re taking things slow. He’s trying… I’m trying.
Dad knows I can easily cut him off again, and I’d never put the boys through that type of pressure.
They’re already dealing with enough.” I nodded and believed him.
Then he became hesitant. “Thanks for coming to court last week.”
“I didn’t go for you. I went for me. To get closure.”
“But today you came—”
“Today, I came to ask about the divorce. You haven’t signed yet.”
Felix abruptly came forward, arms outstretched as if to catch me in a hug.
Nope. I’d acted enough through his affair. I was tired.
I sidestepped him, narrowing my eyes. “Don’t touch me.”
He stuttered, a broken mask painting his expression. “God, I’ve been pulling myself apart trying to think of the best way to say sorry. Tell me, Stells. How do I apologise for the most heinous act imaginable? How do I make amends?”
“You can’t.”
“I can’t?” He opened his palms, placating and desperate. “I’ve started online therapy. I’m identifying my own issues and working hard to fix myself. I’ll do anything! Please—”
“Tell me how you’d be able to forgive me, Felix.
If the roles were reversed. What would you do if you caught me with your own eyes…
fucking someone else. What if I panted filthy words like, ‘I’m your dirty little slut, I love being fucked like this,’ and you heard it all.
Tell me if you’d be able to get over watching me orgasm with another man, right in front of you. ”
Felixs’ face drained of colour as the magnitude of his actions took hold. “Oh my—”
Tears gathered in his eyes as he shook his head in denial. “I’m sorry you saw that. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”
“You’re only sorry you got caught.”
I let him cry, providing no comfort or fake, soothing words. I had none to give.
He sniffled. “Maybe it was blind hope or straight foolishness, but I thought that if I finally saw you in person, maybe I could convince you. But now I truly know how thoughtless I’ve been.”
He straightened, wiping a hand over his messy face, his voice distraught and breaking.
“But I’ll always regret it if I never asked.
So that’s what I’m going to do—be selfish one last time…
Is there ever a chance for us, Stells? To find our way back to each other?
To try again? Is there any piece of you that could warm to me? Forgive me?”
I tilted my head, giving him my truth. “I think you already know, Felix. To say yes would go against my very nature. The answer is no.”
His gaze drank me in as if savouring the last remaining remnants of us. “I’ll love you forever, Stella Foster,” he said in goodbye.
“If that’s the type of love you give, I don’t want it.”
Felix gave a sad smile, infused with heartbreak. “Yet, it belongs to you all the same. Find happiness, Stells.”
I nodded, turning from my lost love, my former life partner.
As I drove away from the place I had once considered a home and sanctuary, tears ran unchecked down my cheeks, cleansing the way for a brighter future.
I was finally free.