Chapter 26 #2
Ava nods again. “Totally understandable. But here’s another way to think about it: yeah, y’all aren’t gonna be doing a ton of travel with a two-year-old.
But newborns? Psssh, you put them in the carrier and go on your merry way.
It’s not a walk in the park, but it’s totally doable.
And then when your kids go through the hairy toddler phase where they don’t want to sit or be told what to do—” She shrugs.
“You travel a little less. Maybe you ask your family and friends to take the baby overnight so you and Duke can get away. But then all of a sudden, they’re out of diapers, and they’ll sit with their iPad for a few hours, and you’re able to go on a trip that doesn’t totally suck. ”
I laugh again. “Guess you adjust your expectations and set the bar pretty low.”
“Yes. But not forever.” She smiles. “It gets easier as they get older. Well, in some respects. Travel is one of them. Who’s not to say that one day, traveling with your kids will blow your expectations right out of the water?
I think all the time about how cool it’ll be to experience the world all over again, this time through Junie’s eyes. ”
My turn to nod, my heart lodging in my throat. “I hadn’t considered that angle.”
“Something to think about.”
“I’m thinking.”
Her eyes go soft. “Trust yourself to make the right decision. I wish I’d trusted myself earlier. I would’ve avoided a lot of unnecessary heartache.”
A beat of silence moves between us as we look toward Sawyer and Duke. They’re the ones playing hopscotch now, Duke showing Ella and Junie how it’s done.
I scoff. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like, a man that good can’t possibly exist, you know?”
“Oh, I know,” Ava says with a mirthless laugh. “Why do you think I settled for my ex? It’s what I was taught—that men just aren’t as kind or thoughtful as women. But they can be.” She points to the boys. “Those men are.”
I think I knew the night we met that Duke is one in a million. Every interaction with him just hammers that point home. I want him.
I’m falling for him. I can’t fuck this up.
I just need to figure out how to like myself a little more, so I can let him in without being terrified that he’ll be turned off by what he sees.
Am I kind enough? Smart enough? Do I love hard enough? I think so. But everything I learned growing up told me otherwise. I’m so, so scared Duke won’t love me back because of that.
Ryder comes over to give us a hug.
“I’m so glad you came,” he murmurs in my ear. “You bein’ around is making my brother a very happy man. Kinda grosses us out, actually, how chipper he is.”
I lean in to whisper in his ear. “It’s the sex.”
“Figured as much,” Ryder replies with a smirk. “How’re you feeling?”
Wrong that I appreciate how everyone’s asking me that question tonight? Seems silly, but their genuine concern makes me feel…safe. Taken care of.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Wyatt approaching.
“I’m feeling all right tonight,” I say.
Ryder’s smirk stays put on his handsome face. “Duke makes everything better, huh?”
“Are you bein’ a perv again?” Cash appears over Ryder’s shoulder. He’s holding hands with Mollie, who beams at us with a knowing twinkle in her eye.
“Probably shouldn’t say the word ‘pervert’ when you’re at a preschool.” Wyatt glances around.
Cash rolls his eyes. “You just said it.”
“What? Pervert?” Duke strides over wearing a cocky smile. “Yeah, that’s definitely inappropriate.”
Sawyer groans. “Can y’all be polite just once in your lives?”
“Nope.” Ryder holds out his arm. “May I escort you inside, Miss Wheeler? My brothers may be heathens, but I’m a gentleman.”
Cash lets out a bark of laughter. “I call BS.”
“Case in point,” Ryder sniffs. “C’mon, pretty lady.”
I meet Duke’s eyes, and my heart takes a tumble. They glimmer with happiness, the kind you can’t fake. Happiness and…is that pride?
Why wouldn’t he be proud of you?
Why am I not more proud of myself? I’m pregnant. Scared. Sick. But I’m showing up anyway.
I’m trying my best anyway.
I smile at him, and he smiles back.
“I’ll allow him to take you inside.” Duke tips his hat at Ryder. “But then I take over, yeah?”
Ryder chuckles. “We’ll see about that.”
“Your brother is cute.” I slip my hand into the crook of Ryder’s thick arm.
Duke shrugs. “Well, yeah, because he looks exactly like me.”
Ryder and I introduce ourselves to the teachers at the door. One of them, Ms. Blair, looks to be about my age, and she tells us how much she and her teaching partner Ms. Sherman enjoy having Junie and Ella in class.
“I hope my daughter is as kind and happy as those two are.”
“Oh?” I ask. “How old is your daughter?”
“She just turned four months old yesterday.”
“Aw.”
Ms. Blair wiggles her shoulders. “She’s chunking up.”
“She’s absolutely delicious,” Mrs. Hobson adds with a smile as she hands us each a paddle. “And sweet as pie.”
“Probably why I could eat her with a spoon,” Ms. Blair replies. “Welcome, y’all. We’re so glad you’re here.”
I have the strange urge to hug her. Will this be our first and last interaction? Or will she become a new friend? A mom friend?
The event is taking place in a large central hall with a stage on one side and more chairs than I can count on the other.
It’s already loud inside. Kids are running around, and parents chat while holding beers and plastic cups of wine.
My smile grows when I see Tallulah tending a makeshift bar in the far corner.
Sally and Patsy are on the stage. Sally plays the violin, while Patsy sings a twangy version of “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” into a microphone.
Large bulletin boards are set out across the space, each one pinned with dozens of pieces of the children’s art. There are paintings of strawberries and houses. Centipedes constructed out of egg cartons. Hats that look like bunny ears.
“All right, this is really adorable,” Ryder says.
“The most adorable,” I agree. “It’s perfect.”
Never thought I’d want to spend a Saturday night at a preschool function, but this is actually sweet and very well done.
There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now.
I can’t stop smiling as we approach a bulletin board that a placard tells us belongs to Ella and Junie’s class. “The finger painting.” I gesture to the kaleidoscope of colors that make up a finger-painted heart. “I remember loving that as a kid.”
“Well, yeah. It was an excuse to make a huge mess with no one gettin’ mad at you.” Ryder pulls me a little closer. “Can I ask you a favor?”
“Always.”
“Be good to my brother, would you? Duke grew up feeling like the odd one out, even though he’s probably got the biggest heart out of all of us. He’s always been lookin’ for something more, you know?” Ryder’s eyes bore into mine. “I think he mighta found it in you.”
My eyes prick. “Duke is…kind of amazing, isn’t he?”
“He’s my best friend. Of course I think he’s amazing.
Although if you ever tell him I said that, I’ll deny it up and down.
” Ryder’s smile is kind. “We love havin’ you at the ranch, Wheeler.
I hope you know that. But I also love how you push Duke out of his comfort zone.
Give him an excuse to get out of town. He needs that. ”
I have to look away. Otherwise, I’m liable to burst into tears. “You’re a good friend and brother to go to bat for him like this.”
“You’re a good friend too, Wheeler.” Ryder pats my hand. “Duke doesn’t let just anybody in. He’s picky. Probably why he’s been single all this time. But you stood out to him, for all the right reasons.”
“Jesus.” I wipe my eyes. “Since when are you the relationship whisperer?”
Ryder shrugs. “Heck if I know. Not like I have any real experience in that area.”
But he does. Maybe not romantically speaking, but Ryder has good relationships with all four of his brothers, despite the fact that they work together and live within a five-mile radius of each other.
Just like Duke, he loves hard.
I want to be loved that way.
I turn around at the tap on my shoulder.
“Can I borrow you for a sec?” Ava asks. “There’s some friends of mine I want you to meet.”
Ryder huffs out a sigh. “Fine. But I get her back, ya hear?”
“Wyatt’s already claimed her for the auction.”
“What?” I laugh. “Since when am I in such high demand?”
Ava furrows her brow. “Since forever.” She says it like there should be a duh at the end of that sentence.
Next thing I know, she’s whisking me toward a circle of women.
She introduces me to Sarah, who has four-year-old triplets and a side gig illustrating erotic scenes from romance books.
Then there’s Paige, who has three kids three and under, and Mona, who is eight months pregnant with her second boy.
She works three days a week as a physician’s assistant at the family medicine practice down the street.
“We’ve all heard about your boots,” Sarah says.
Mona nods. “I’m asking for a pair for Christmas. The red ones with the hearts.”
“Oooh, I love those. Y’all are truly so, so talented,” Paige adds. “I wish I was creative like that.”
Sarah grins. “If you ever want me to illustrate a scene for you where the people are wearing your boots and your boots only, just say the word.”
Laughing—so much laughing tonight—I grab my phone and open up a blank notes page. “I think our Instagram followers would definitely get a kick out of that, Sarah. All right, gimme your email. And then I need all y’all’s shoe sizes.”
I’m buzzing by the time the auction begins, and I haven’t had so much as a drop of alcohol. Wyatt elbows Sawyer out of the way to claim the seat beside mine. Duke sits on my other side, draping his arm over the back of my chair.
“You okay?” he asks, voice low. “I know this is a lot.”
Bending down to grab my paddle out of my bag, I shake my head. “Are you kidding? This is so much fun. Thank you again for the invite. Everyone is so friendly.”
He smiles, a funny look in his eyes. “I saw you working the room, taking names and selling boots.”
“The boots will be a gift. I really like those girls.”
He swipes his thumb over my bare shoulder. Once, twice. “You fit right in. No surprise there, though.”
But Duke is the one who really shines during the auction.
He drives the prices up on everything, from a tie-dyed butterfly made from coffee filters to a snowman constructed entirely from buttons.
Goody, Tallulah’s wife, is running the auction, and she kindly but firmly asks Duke to give other family members a shot at winning the next handful of items.
Mollie buys a cardboard cowboy hat decorated with glitter. I purchase a princess party the threes teachers will host for Junie, Ella, and ten of their very best friends, letting out a squeal of delight when I beat Paige by fifty bucks.
Duke gives my thigh a squeeze, then leans in to brush his lips over my neck before murmuring in my ear, “You wanna be one of the best friends that goes to that party, right?”
I bite my lip. “You know me well.”
“I’m learning, Blue.” He gives my thigh another squeeze before resting his hand there.
And I’m learning what life could be like if I chose Duke. Chose the baby.
Chose love.