Chapter 1
Chapter One
The autumn scene beyond the conservatory windows was breathtaking.
It was one of Lilli’s favorite views of Heatherfield.
No matter what the season, her home warmed her heart and energized her, however, the changing of seasons always drew her.
The vibrant hues of green foliage turning to golden, amber, and crimson leaves slowly falling to the ground in an elegant dance.
More graceful than she danced, as anyone would tell you.
The sunlight filtering through the trees cast a warm glow over the estate.
The silhouette of Heatherfield against the lightening sky displayed a symbol of both beauty and entrapment.
Lilli rose early, as was her habit, to enjoy her quiet walk in the large garden that still flourished under the careful eye of Lloyd, their gardener for longer than Lilli had been on this earth.
It wasn’t her first home, but after her mother passed away, her father sent her to live with her great-gran and her grandmama, and here she had stayed ever since.
Both widowed women showered all their attention on Lilli. And she grew up fast because of it.
They taught her how to run the house and then the estate.
It was good training, but it was also devastating to lose all you knew.
The heavy expectation she put on herself to meet her grandmothers’ standards stole her childhood enjoyment.
Not that they tried to do that, they simply wanted her well prepared when they had gone from this world.
Lilli took a robust breath of the crisp scent of fallen leaves mixed with the aroma of sugar and spices from the kitchen.
Apples, late summer squashes, and pumpkins were baked and stewed for preserving.
It was a huge undertaking, that they hired extra hands from the village to make the work go faster and the labor lighter.
One cook and two kitchen maids were all the house typically needed for meals and small dinner parties.
But several times of year, the need grew, and they hired help.
The air was filled with the earthy smell of damp soil and the familiar musky fragrance of decaying plants as Lady Lilliana walked further into the garden, entering the conservatory outer door.
She loved that raw scent. With one last calming breath, she stepped inside the too-warm, humid room that housed the more delicate flora that Lilli enjoyed caring for.
It took a moment for her to acclimatize before she began working.
“Lady Lilli, your grandmother would like to speak to you.”
Lady Lilliana Griffin looked up to spy Marion, daughter to Lauren, her gran’s companion at the entrance of the internal greenhouse. “Yes, I am a few more moments on this plant and I will come in to her. How is she this morning, Marion?”
The young maid, younger than Lilli was herself, answered with a giggle. “Oh, well, milady, she is about the same, but chipper. Mother says she seems more at peace if that is something one can tell accurately.”
“I’m sure your mother is right. When you are eighty, things seem much more settled, I would think. Reassure her I will be in quickly. I would love a bit of breakfast. Is there any to be had? And I’m so thirsty.”
“Yes, milady. I will have it delivered to you.”
“Thank you. Before you go, where is grandmother?”
“In the sitting room. She refused to lounge about in the bed.”
“And well she should. Nothing good comes from being in bed for too long.”
Marion smiled. “No, milady.”
Watching Marion glide away, Lilli felt an odd prick of guilt beneath her amusement. She chastised herself for finding humor in idleness and then frowned. Was she also eighty to have shed every trace of childish fun? It was a disturbing thought.
It was nonsense now. There was no meaning of any consequence except one: she would one day live her life as she saw fit—yet even as she clung to this promise, she doubted its possibility.
One got over the loss of childhood and the tragic bits in one’s life, didn’t one?
But then why did she still wake crying from dreams of her mother’s laugh?
The reality that she would also, one day, be completely alone never released its fearful hold on her, even as she told herself that solitude meant freedom.
All those years ago, highway bandits had been rumored to be lying in wait for weeks, but her mother had insisted the risk was small.
They had been returning from a neighbor’s estate with only a stable hand and two yawning hounds for company when the thieves struck.
One rider thundered in front; another cut them off from behind.
Neither driver nor dog could shield them.
In a frantic instant, her mother shoved Lilli beneath the bench and slammed the velvet drape over her, locking her world in near darkness.
The next moments flickered past in blinding terror.
Her mother’s desperate cry, the maid’s shriek, then a sudden, cruel silence.
A few stolen trinkets later, the robbers vanished mid-thievery.
Lilli lay pressed into the carriage floorboards, trembling.
She never learned what might have happened if a procession of carriages had not swept down the road.
What she did remember was a kindly gentleman in a top hat discovered her trembling beneath the seat and cradled her until another servant sped off to summon her father.
That day was senseless, an injustice that no child or father could ever truly mend.
Her grief and her father’s guilt were locked away, unspoken between them, until he packed her off to her grandmother’s vast manor.
She hardly knew that home anymore. It belonged to ghosts of women long gone and two lone matriarchal survivors and then her.
The estate had passed from mother to daughter through generations until it rested in the hands of Great Gran, who outlived Lilli’s own mother and her mother’s mother.
When Grandmama died, Gran declared her daughter died from a broken heart.
The doctor whispered, consumption. No one dared contradict Lady Elizabeth St. Matthews, so Lilli accepted the tale.
Gran often reminded her that one day all this, her Ladyship’s Land also known as Heatherfield, would be Lilli’s alone.
At times, Lilli hated that promise. To claim her inheritance, she must watch Lady St. Matthews sink slowly into the earth, alone and despairing, just as her mother and grandmama had.
Her grandfathers were already gone; her father vanished somewhere else, wrapped in his own regrets and sorrow.
Should she summon him? Demand to know where he’d hidden himself. Someday, perhaps.
For now, five years remained before her twenty-fifth birthday, the final threshold of ownership and upheaval.
She prayed against her heart’s rising dread that Great Gran might outlast even Lilli’s own patience and yet pass from this earth before Lilli could take complete ownership of her land.
Gran needed to live for five more years.
Once Lilli was twenty-five, she could well and truly live independently.
Until then, the law was clear. She was deemed too young to be fully adult.
Leaving her apron on the porcelain basin by the footman at the doorway, Lilli felt a restless flutter in her chest. Her grandmother’s worries, always for Lilli’s safety or finding a spouse, might be today’s concern.
Or it may be something deeper that Lilli dared not name.
She smoothed her skirts, forced a steadying breath, and fixed her expression into a gentle smile before entering the sitting room where Lady St. Matthews sat regally.
Inside, every fractured piece of Lilli’s heart pulsed with conflicting fear and longing.
Gran’s demeanor indicated she had a specific purpose in mind.
“Gran, you look good this morning. How do you feel?”
“Lies will get you nowhere in life, my dear. But I love you for them. I feel better than I have in days.”
Lilli sighed in relief. There were still more good days than bad. The maid followed behind Lilli, who stepped aside to allow her to set the heavy tray down. Another maid followed with the tea service.
“Shall I get you something for your tea, Gran?” Lilli began walking toward the cabinet of decanters.
“I don’t think I need it today. I’ll settle with just tea this morning.”
Lilli sat and began serving. “Breakfast, Gran?”
“I’ve eaten my dear, but I see you have wandered off without your breakfast again.” Gran sighed. “Just like your mother did. She loved being outdoors. Unfortunately, she left us too young. Did you ride?”
“Not this morning. I’m on my mount too often these days in work to ride for pleasure. My ability to sit in society would be greatly compromised if I added riding for enjoyment to the reasons I am in my saddle. Did you need something in particular this morning, Grandmother?”
“Yes, I would like to discuss this guardian that your father has chosen for you.”
Lilli stilled her fork and brought it back to her plate. “Excuse me? I’m not sure I heard you.”
“You heard me. Your guardian. You still have five years to majority my dear and we must discuss the state of your position.”
Lilli set her plate back on the tray. “Please elaborate.”
Lady St. Matthews sighed. “Don’t be difficult, dear. I don’t harbor false hopes of making it to the end of the five years still on this earth. And we must make our plan.”
“Gran, we have done that. I know just what you want done after you go on. What else there is to discuss?”
“Your future, Lilliana.”
“What about my future? It is secured. You are speaking in rhymes and riddles.”
“Your father had previously written to his friend and our neighbor on the far west side of the estate. They struck a deal and His Grace agreed to be your guardian, should the need arise. No one could have predicted that my daughter and granddaughter would have gone on to their reward before I did.”