Chapter 10 #2
She missed him when he returned home. She hated that she wanted him near her, that she loved when he took over for her sometimes, she hated that he knew it.
She was so confused, tired, and lonely. Everything she had thought would be the outcome when she ran the estate on her own, was challenged and she wanted Oliver to take over but she would never tell him.
He would never give her any autonomy again.
“Lilli, what is wrong, sweetheart?”
“I’m not your sweetheart,” she snapped. Hearing his endearments caused her heart to crack and her insides to explode with need.
He looked appraisingly at her. “You are, if you would but give into me. I have told you I want you to be more than a neighbor or a ward. I want you to marry me. Be my little darling duchess.”
“We are too different to do well together, Oliver.”
Oliver looked at the door and, after helping Lilli to sit, he strode to the door with determination and locked it.
“Daddy.”
“What?” she asked.
“You will address me as Daddy during this discussion.” His words were formal, but his tone was gentle. “It will put things right in your mind and mine.”
“Why?”
“Because this is the relationship we have, my sweet Lilli. You are my Little one and I am your Daddy. Your protector, your supporter, caretaker and your disciplinarian. All of which I feel you need today.”
“I am quite capable of handling my own affairs,” Lilli said, but her voice lacked conviction even to her own ears.
She felt her cheeks warm as Oliver fixed her with that penetrating stare of his.
The one that seemed to see right through her defenses.
She crossed her arms in a form of self-protection against her inner insecurity, aware that she looked like a petulant child but unable to stop herself.
Maybe he was right. She did need a Daddy.
“Are you, indeed?” Oliver moved closer, his tall frame casting a shadow over her seated form.
“Then why do you look as though you haven’t slept properly in weeks?
Why are your shoulders carrying the weight of Heatherfield all alone when I’ve offered my assistance time and again, only to be rebuffed? ”
“I haven’t been sleeping as well as expected but it doesn’t mean I need your help to run my estate,” she insisted, though the words felt hollow.
The truth was, she desperately wanted his help, his guidance, his presence. But admitting that felt like surrendering a piece of herself she wasn’t ready to relinquish.
“I see. Then please explain to me why this Mr. Northgate has you so rattled. Why you’ve been hiding his communications from me and now I discover he has visited you, bearing gifts?”
Lilli’s heart fluttered traitorously in her chest. Lilli swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry. His proximity to her made her heart race, as it always did. She clasped her hands in her lap to keep from fidgeting.
“I wasn’t hiding anything. I simply didn’t think it necessary to trouble you with every letter that arrives at Heatherfield.”
Oliver’s eyebrow arched in that infuriating way that told her he didn’t believe her. “Go on.”
“Mr. Northgate seems perfectly respectable in his correspondence.” Lilli didn’t want to mention he made her terribly uncomfortable when he arrived on her doorstep the day before, so she lifted her chin in defiance. Better to push Oliver away than admit she needed the Daddy he offered.
“Ah, yes. Because villains always announce their intentions in proper penmanship.” Oliver’s lips quirked into that infuriating half-smile that made her stomach flip. “Show me the letters.”
“They are private.”
“Not anymore.” The steel in his voice made Lilli shiver. “When someone sends correspondence to my little one, threatening or otherwise, it becomes my business.”
“He isn’t threatening me,” Lilli protested, though she couldn’t meet Oliver’s eyes. The memory of Northgate’s visit made her skin crawl. His too-lingering handshake, the way his gaze had roved over Heatherfield’s valuables with barely concealed greed worried her.
“Then you’ll have no objection to sharing them.” Oliver closed the distance between them, kneeling before her chair. His proximity sent warmth spreading through her limbs despite her determination to remain unmoved. “Lilli, look at me.”
She reluctantly raised her eyes to him.
“I can see you’re exhausted. Your beautiful eyes have shadows beneath them that weren’t there a fortnight ago. You jump at small noises. And now I find you have been beleaguered with unsolicited correspondence and the cheek of a visit. No, sweetheart. I want you to let Daddy take over.”
“How can I and retain the respect of my staff?”
“Leave it all to me. There will be no loss of respect or position. Of that I promise. But I need you to say the word.”
It was time to give over to Oliver and find a modicum of peace. “Yes, Oliver.”
He raised his brow and started sternly. “Who am I?”
“Daddy. Will you take over for me, Daddy?”
His smile was brilliant. “Yes baby, now let us have tea and you will go for a nap.”
The maid entered the room just as Lilli responded. “I don’t need a nap.”
The maid froze in place.
Oliver waved in the young girl. “You do, my dear, and this young woman,” he turned to the maid, “what is your name?”
“Mattie, Your Grace.”
He nodded and smiled at her. “Mattie will go and turn down your bed. No less than an hour to rest. Mattie will go and fetch you in two if you have fallen asleep. We will ring for you Mattie, when Her Ladyship is ready.”
“Yes, Your Grace,” said Mattie as she bobbed a curtsey and left the room, closing the door behind her.
“She left you in the room without escort.”
“I am your guardian, my dear. They know your innocence is not at risk with me. Yet.”
“Oliver.”
He gave her a stern glare. “Do you need me to teach the lesson of who I am over my knee?”
“No! No, Daddy. It feels awkward. I haven’t ever had a father really, and never a Daddy.”
“And now you do. Finish your tea while I read these letters.”
Much to her chagrin, Lilli had fallen asleep and found herself reluctant to wake from that nap. She had shooed poor Mattie away several times and now the door had opened again.
“Lilliana, Daddy is here and it’s time to wake up. You have had a long nap, but it is time to wake up and talk about these letters.”
“I wasn’t asleep. I was merely resting my eyes.”
“Ah, yes, for three hours? I only required one hour. No lying is a rule that you may not break. Would you like to rethink your response?”
She gazed blearily at Oliver who, from her vantage point on her bed, seemed huge. His words breaking through the haze. “Three hours?” Lilli bolted upright, her hair tumbling loose around her shoulders. “That’s impossible. I only closed my eyes for a moment.”
Oliver sat on the edge of her bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. The proximity sent a rush of warmth through her body. He leaned down and kissed her leisurely. She felt wanton, but she wanted more. It was no guardian kiss.
Much to her chagrin, Lilli had fallen asleep and found herself reluctant to wake from that sleep. She had shooed poor Mattie away several times and now the door had opened again.
“Lilliana, Daddy is here and it’s time to wake up. You have had a long nap, but it is time to wake up and talk about these letters, among other things here since my last visit.”
“I wasn’t asleep. I was merely resting my eyes.”
“Ah, yes, for three hours? I only required one hour. No lying is a rule that you may not break. Would you like to rethink your response?”
She gazed blearily at Oliver who, from her vantage point on her bed, seemed huge. His words breaking through the “Three hours?” Lilli bolted upright, her hair tumbling loose around her shoulders. “That’s impossible. I only closed my eyes for a moment.”
Oliver smile as he sat on the edge of her bed, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. The proximity sent a rush of warmth through her body. He leaned down and kissed her leisurely. She felt wanton, but she wanted more and he gave it to her.
“I suppose you had better admit you were sleeping, then or I shall think you were hiding from me.”
“Very well, I was sleeping but it was the best sleep I have had in a long time.”
“Because I took over and you could relax. That is going to happen from this point on. No arguing. Only kissing.”
Her lips yielded beneath his, soft and pliant, a whimper escaped her throat causing her blood to surge in raw desire. He traced her bottom lip with his thumb, relishing the silky texture of her skin. He kissed her cheek and down her neck.
“What—what are you doing?” Lilli whispered against his mouth, her breath coming in shallow pants.
“Taking what belongs to me,” Oliver murmured, his voice a low rumble that he could feel vibrating in his chest. “Is that not what Daddies do with their Little ones?”
Lilli’s cheeks flushed a delicious shade of pink. Her hair was a wild tangle around her shoulders. The sight of her in bed, soft from sleep and sweetly vulnerable, stirred something primal in him.
Her hands slid up to cup his face, her fingers threading through his hair as she returned his kiss with unexpected fervor. Oliver’s lips were firm yet gentle against hers, commanding in a way that made her insides melt. When he finally pulled away, his eyes had darkened to stormy blue gray.
“See? Your body knows what it needs even when your mind fights against it,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from her face. “Sleep. Me. Safety.”
Lilli felt her cheeks flush. “I didn’t realize how tired I was,” she admitted softly. “Or how much I missed you.”
“That is precisely why you need me, little one.” His thumb traced the curve of her cheek. “Someone who sees what you need before you recognize it yourself.”
She wanted to argue, to maintain the illusion of complete independence that she’d clung to so desperately, but the tenderness in his gaze took the heat from that argument. She wanted him with her whole being.
“But the letters, Oliver. What did you discover in the letters?” she asked, trying to redirect her thoughts away from the warmth pooling in her belly with little success.
“I’ve read Mr. Northgate’s letters,” Oliver said, his thumb brushing across her cheekbone. “And I don’t like what I’ve found.”
“What do you mean?”
“That Mr. Northgate is not who he claims to be.” Oliver’s expression hardened. “They confirm my suspicions. This Northgate character is no friend to you or your interests.”
A chill ran through Lilli’s body despite the warmth of the bed. “What do you mean? He said he had information about my father.”
Oliver stood, pacing beside her bed. His shoulders tensed beneath his impeccably tailored coat. “The letters contain subtle threats disguised as offers of assistance. He mentions details about Heatherfield’s finances that should not be common knowledge.”
Lilli’s stomach tightened. “How could he know such things?”
“That is precisely what concerns me.” Oliver turned to face her, his jaw set in a hard line. “He’s been watching you, gathering information. The puppy was a clever ploy to gain your trust, to establish himself as a benefactor.”
“Oh, Oliver. I’ve been a fool, and I know it sounds of little consequence, but I love Max. I don’t want to give him back to that horrid man.”
“Oh, no, you are keeping your puppy. But you are not seeing this man again. I intend to send him a message at the place he mentions and will have him come here. I know he is anxious to relieve you of a goodly sum of your funds but that won’t happen.”
“What will you do?”
“I will take care of him. What you must do is write what I dictate to you, and we will send a footman with it tomorrow.”
“Yes. I can do that, but Oliver, you can’t take over forever.”
“I do not want to take over forever. I want to run both estates together. Side by side. Mother is in my home, and I do not wish her to move out, but she is used to running her home her way. You want to live here, and I do not want to displace you either.”
“What can be the solution?”
“For you to accept my offer of marriage and for us to administer both estates as husband and wife.”
“Oliver, I am not duchess material. You must marry someone who comes from a more prestigious background.”
“No, I must marry whom I love. I love you. You are perfect as my duchess, and you will not deny me.”
Lilli’s heart skipped a beat. “Love? You love me? But you could have any woman in London, any daughter of a duke or earl who knows how to navigate the ton,” Lilli whispered, her heart hammering against her ribs. The possibility that he truly wanted her seemed too precious to believe.
Oliver took her hands in his, his thumbs tracing circles on her palms that sent shivers up her arms. “I don’t want any woman in London. I want the stubborn, beautiful, intelligent woman who challenges me at every turn. Who makes me laugh and drives me to distraction in equal measure.”
He lifted her hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to her knuckles. The warmth of his breath against her skin made her pulse quicken.
“I want you, Lilliana. Not some simpering debutante who agrees with everything I say. I want the woman who stands in her garden with mud on her dress and defiance in her eyes. I want the woman who holds a soft spot for a wayward puppy but flashes fire from her tongue and sparks from her eyes when she believes she is wronged.”
“Oliver.”
Oliver reached for her hand, his touch sending warmth up her arm.
“I have loved you since that first day I met you and you tried to remove me from this very house. I have loved you through every argument, every defiance, every moment you’ve challenged me.
I have loved you when you gave into my Daddy, acknowledging your little darling shoved down deep inside. Did you truly not know?”
The intensity in his stormy eyes made her breath catch.
All this time, she had thought his attention was duty, obligation, perhaps desire…
but love? She had dreamed of Oliver, her Daddy, taking charge.
He had stated as much but her foolish, stubborn pride would not allow it.
He had been patient, but it appears that he was done being lenient and long-suffering. She shook her head.
“Lilliana Griffin, will you accept me as your husband?”
“Are you sure?”
His eyebrows raised sharply. Best she not tread on my good graces right now.
“Yes, Your Grace, I will.”
“Bloody well time. I shall contact the vicar and take care of that matter quickly. Now, I deserve a kiss and so do you, my dear. Then we shall prepare for dinner and plan.”