Chapter 16
Weight of the Ring
This spring was generous with splendid, sunny, and perfect days. The whole of London was enjoying this extraordinary generosity of the Heavens. Except for Prim. The sun coming through the windows of her carriage was blinding, the heat suffocating, and the good weather attracted crowds.
“You do look lovely,” her mother said from across the seat in the carriage.
Prim nodded anemically. Her mother put extra effort, hiring the best stylist in London to curate her look. And all so that no one would dare say that Leo was marrying her only for the scandal.
From her perfectly arranged curls to the last pearl around her neck, all was a strategy that was meant to convince others that he wasn’t marrying her due to a scandal. That Leo was truly enamored with her, as his lie suggested.
What the ensemble accomplished, according to Prim’s bleak assessment, was to present her as a vixen, a siren who had finally snared the Duke.
Which, as luck would have it, would have earned her a different set of vicious characterizations.
But because Leo was a notorious, seemingly uncatchable rake, she was instead viewed with a kind of shocked awe, an almost mythical creature who had managed the impossible.
“We are very proud of you,” Her mother thought it was prudent to share her thoughts. “What you have accomplished changed the history of our family forever. Now we are associated with a Duke.”
“And not just any Duke,” Her father said with barely contained glee. “The Duke of Mildenhall. The fact that he didn't even agree to a dowry is testament to his power and wealth.”
Prim wanted to scream. To disillusion them with the truth of the situation between her and Leo. Not that she knew exactly what word to use when describing them. It was not a friendship and certainly not a love match. Perhaps Prim could settle with them not being hostile with each other.
“We are here!” Her father said with gaiety.
Prim took a breath in, and the air felt like she was inhaling glass shards. The carriage stopped, and her father was the first to walk out. He offered her arm at Prim, and she gladly took it. She wasn't feeling very stable.
She looked outside. The grey facade of the temple was intimidating, as if trying to stop her from entering. Truth was, Prim had thought a lot about not going through with this. But every time her eyes fell on the twins. Any other alternative meant destroying them.
“Remember, Prim,” Her mother said from right beside her. “You deserve to be a Duchess. You have worked hard for it.”
Prim, and all of the ton for that matter, they had strongly different opinions about her. They just couldn't accept that the man who was deemed an eternal bachelor was now getting married after a love match. And worst of all, with someone like her.
The doors to the church open. Prim, accompanied by her father, entered the relatively small church.
All eyes turned immediately to them. But among all that sea of tension surrounding her, she looked for the only one who knew the truth of this day. That one face that she hoped was still carefree.
“Straight back, chin level, eyes down,” her father hissed in warning.
She looked past the ladies there to mock and humiliate her. She even looked past those who came out of curiosity. She found her sisters, sitting in the front row, hands clasped together with Abigail.
Prim realized she was holding her breath for almost half a day.
It was impossible to come to terms with the reality that was unfolding before her.
And here she was in the bridal gown, walking to meet her husband.
The sight of her friend right there, protecting her sisters, was the comfort she needed to take another step.
And then she saw him. He had his back turned to her.
His hands were twined together behind his back.
The gesture did nothing to diminish his immense height.
Leo was a pillar of dark wool and tension.
He was unmoved, untouched, detached. He didn't turn, he just looked over his shoulder for just a moment. Somehow, this was even worse.
“Smile, Prim,” Her parents advised, as if mustering a smile was an easy task.
Prim didn't even bother. All her attention was centered on that dark figure by the altar of the church.
The walk there was the longest of her lifetime.
It was at the same time too fast and too slow.
She was afraid of what would happen to her if she never reached the altar, while wondering at the same time what was to be done with her.
Everything around her blared into insignificance.
She glanced around, but didn't even focus on something in particular.
Only the little side of his face that she could see.
His jaw was locked in tension, his eyes looking straight ahead.
He must have known she was coming. The gasps of the people inside the church were sign enough.
And yet he kept his back stubbornly turned to her.
“Who gives the bride?” the vicar asked.
Her father placed her hand in the palm that Leo extended.
The atmosphere in the church tilted. He turned his head finally.
Not much, just enough to allow her to look upon his face.
His eyes briefly met hers. Granted, Leo had never looked at her with warmth, but he had been mischievous, teasing, and even assessing her from the first time they met.
None of it was present as Leo took her hand and pulled them closer to the vicar.
Now, the way he looked at her was glacial, a stony apathy, as if the whole ceremony had nothing to do with him.
Prim scoffed slowly. Leo was not captivated. He was at best indifferent, at worst seething because he was manipulated into this situation. All the money her mother spent on the stylist was going down the drain.
The ceremony began, and everything became a blur for her. Words were spoken, vows were recited. It was as if they were trying to scientifically preserve the little ceremony for future generations, and not actually participating in it.
Since Leo refused to even cast a glance at her, Prim turned to her support group. the one she could be almost herself with. Her sisters were looking upon her with silent admiration. She saw the naivety in their eyes, dreaming of a future just like hers.
But Abigail was a completely different beast. She was aware of the situation, of the sacrifice both of them were making.
She was sad to see on a day like this, two of her closest friends getting married, but not being able to cheer because the situation couldn't be further away from a perfect match.
Prim was startled when Leo moved and held her hand tighter.
A wedding ring was in his hands, and Prim audibly gasped.
There had been rumors about this ring. Leo had commissioned a wedding ring from the top jeweler in London.
It was whispered that an insane amount of money was spent on that ring.
The whole of London was expecting to see it, Prim included.
The ring did not disappoint. It was an elaborate creation, so delicate and ethereal. In the center, there was a big diamond. Around it bloomed an exquisitely carved rose of gold, its petals set with diamonds that glittered like morning dew, soft and lifelike as if just unfurled.
The whole congregation gasped when they saw that ring. There were whispers and murmurs and audible admiration. Prim heard the word “love” passed between the ton.
She didn't know if she wanted to cry or laugh. What her mother intended to do with her elaborate appearance, Leo did with this ring. No one seeing this piece of artistry on her finger would ever believe that the Duke was not fully enthralled with her.
Sadness gripped her soul. She looked down at that ring that had encapsulated the life she was living now. A beautiful ring carved as a rose, exactly how the sheets claimed he called her in private. A full circle of lies.
She kept her head down, her gaze modestly away from him. Honestly couldn't trust that if she looked upon him, she wouldn't cry. She went through the rest of the motions with numb resignation. She spoke the vows, signed the ledger, and followed Leo out of the church.
The wedding breakfast was to take place at the Mildenhall Mansion in Mayfair. Leo rarely used this house, but it was now the stage of the final act of this performance called “the wedding”.
In the three weeks between the powder room incident and today, Leo took care of everything regarding the ceremony. All Prim had to do was choose her gown. That was the only reprieve for her sanity, since she had to deal with Madame Sybil's strong opinions on her dress and on Leo.
Then she had to prepare her things to be moved to his estate at the outskirts of London.
“This is truly a lovely house!” Camilla said with enthusiasm. “Are you staying here?”
“No,” Prim said with her most natural voice. “For now, we are staying at the estate. Don't worry, it is still close enough to visit me anytime you want.”
“Can we really visit you?” Myrtle asked with agitation.
Prim realized that after this breakfast, she would leave her childhood home for good. She saw and protected her sisters every day, but now she would have to go and live alone, away from them. Not that she was not going to fight for her sisters, but it was different now.
“My sweet, sweet sister,” she said and hugged her little sister. “No matter what, I will always be your sister. We will see each other as often as we want. It's a promise.”
The three of them came closer like they had since they were kids. For a moment, they were not in a grand mansion but in their old nursery, huddled. Silent love flowed between them, a lifeline in the sea of pretense.
“Our Primrose!” Her father came and hugged her.
This sweet moment shattered, and bitterness came over Prim.
“You have done so well!” Her father continued. “This is a historic moment for the Jenkins family. We are now part of high society. My daughter married a Duke.”
“Let me see the ring!” Her mother grabbed her hand. “This is an exquisite, expensive, elegant ring, fit for a Duchess.”
Despite her fear and reluctance to leave Camilla and Myrtle alone, Prim was glad that she would have to interact less with her parents.
It was almost revolting to see them gloat about this wedding every waking moment for the past three weeks.
She is ready to nod politely and leave her mother's side, but she doesn't get the chance.
“A word, Primrose?” the Viscountess demands.
The dreaded moment of every matron. The talk. Prim was always suspicious of her parents’ intentions, so she decided to educate herself in the room that her parents never entered: the library.
She had found the book on procreation and studied it. At the beginning of this Season, she even shared her findings with her sisters. It was a stupid strategy on behalf of the mothers trying to protect their daughters from ruin without explaining what that ruin entailed.
“There is no need, Mother,” tried to get out of this conversation
“I believe there is every need,” her mother insisted.
They found a quiet room, a little drawing room, all in sky pastels. Prim looked around, realizing that this was her room as well. It felt foreign. Prim stood at the window looking out on the garden where the wedding breakfast was taking place.
The linen canopy created a lush shadow to shield the esteemed guests of the Duke and Duchess of Mildenhall. Delicacies were offered, coffee, tea, lemonade, and refreshments were served. By all means, it was a perfect wedding breakfast.
Her eyes found Leo, mingling in the crowd, tall and dark and cold. He hadn't spoken to her or even looked at her for the past weeks. Not the note, not the message. Nothing.
“Listen to me, Primrose.” Her mother's voice brought her back to reality. “You need to hear what I am about to tell you and keep it in your mind. This is a unique opportunity for our family, and you will not, I repeat, you will not spoil it for us.”
“I will not, I promise.”
“You will be the perfect little Duchess. You'll behave properly, and you will not contradict your husband at all. I don't know how you've done it, but marrying the Duke and keeping the Duke are two different things. Make sure both things happen.”
It wasn't as if she was expecting a loving, caring speech from her mother. But to be dealt such harsh words on her wedding day, by her own family, that was beyond understanding.
“And for the love of propriety, do not ever shame us again,” her mother sealed her speech.
Prim just nodded. She was done trying to comprehend her parents. Satisfied with the answer, her mother left the room to go and mingle with the rest of the guests, surely to boast about how her daughter got such an incredible match.
She was left alone, in a strange room, in the house that was supposed to be hers, with the weight of the rose-ring on her finger. She looked out the window at the celebration of her wedding. She felt as if she were observing her life from the outside.
But she didn't know if she was a bride or a wife. If she were a sacrifice or a daughter. Her eyes bound Leo again, moving through the crowd with a lethal, polished grace that had nothing to do with joy. And she didn't know if she was a shield or a partner.