Chapter 30
Night Stands
“You're hurt,” Prim said.
“It's nothing,” Leo replied, looking away.
“You’ve torn your knuckles, you have a knife wound, you have tied with a scarf, and there’s blood all over you. Let’s redefine nothing, should we?”
At the faint whiff of sarcasm, of how it was between them before, Leo looked up into her eyes with hope.
It was strange, this new reality they were wrapped in.
The relationship was finding a new balance.
Again. From strangers to conspirators, from allies to friends, from lovers to husband and wife, from back to stranger to whatever this was right now.
“You have asked for a bath,” Prim said. “Go on, and I'll be there to take care of your wounds. Unless you want me to call the doctor.”
“Can't you help me with our bath?” Leo said. “As you said,I am hurt.”
“This is a very cheap trick.”
“Is it working though?”
Prim looked at him with reservations. She had once before let go of whatever this was between them, and she found herself hurt. Now this new balance was born out of the danger that she faced, but it changed nothing.
Leo seemed to read the shift inside her and dropped the teasing smile. He studied her face, and he seemed to master all his power simply to talk to her. Prime decided to give him the chance to express himself if he felt ready for it. So she just sat on the bed and looked at him.
“I'm sorry.”
“I believe we established that,” Prim said in a light tone.
“Well, by my count, I have several more things to do, apologize for so…”
Prim nodded in understanding. Leah got up and paced up and down her chambers, his fingers through his hair, he loosened his cravat and threw it away, his hand over his face.
It pained her to see him struggle so much just to talk to her face-to-face and express his emotions, his feelings, and his thoughts.
“It's been a long day,” she said with firm softness. “Perhaps it's better to retire and talk about it some other time.”
Leo launched himself before her on his knees, he held her hands in his over her knees, and he looked up into her eyes.
“I know I hurt you. More than once. More than a little. It's just I don't know how to do this.”
He let his head onto her lap incomplete resignation and other trust. He was exposing his vulnerability, perhaps for the first time in his life.
Prim smiled and let her fingers go through his hair.
When he felt her touch, she looked up again.
And this time it was not that boyish mischief that he usually had.
It was something that she had never seen in Leo.
“I was… I was nine when my father died. He loved my mother so much, and my mother perhaps loved him even more. I remember this house, this very house was happy. And then he was gone suddenly in an instant.”
“I'm so sorry,” Prim said. “It must have been hard losing a parent so abruptly.”
“It was even worse because I lost both parents.
I don't know if you took the boring walk around the gallery of the mansion, but perhaps you noticed how much I look like my father. And so my mother, utterly in love and devoted to him, had to face me every day, a stark reminder of what she had lost. So she left.”
Prim hadn't realized this was what happened between them at such a young age, right at the moment when Leo needed her the most. Perhaps she was too quick to judge his feelings.
“You were just a boy,” she said.
“No, I wasn't anymore. I was a Duke of Mildenhall. And my life from that day on was all about being trained to become really the Duke of Mildenhall. Mrs. Byrne raised me basically.”
“That explains the fear you have each time she walks by.”
“I was lucky to have her in my life, given the circumstances. But she was a little bit heavy on the fish oil.”
Prime chuckled. She had only seen the infamous Duke, the bantering friend, and skilled lover. This was a side of him that she never imagined existed.
“Soon after, my mother got remarried, and she had Aaron. I was forgotten and replaced. As you can imagine, this experience did not help with developing healthy standards on what a real relationship looked like.”
“That is an understatement.”
“So instead of burdening anyone with this, I decided it was safer for all parties involved to not have any relationships.”
“A very solid plan,” Prim smiled.
“It was, and it worked for many years flawlessly. Till one night, I am sitting in my study, minding my own business, when this wild woman barges in.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“How would you describe it?”
“Fair enough, go on.”
“And from that day on these walls I have built…”
“Let me guess. They crumbled.”
“No,” Leo said softly, caressing her cheek. “She's not that kind of woman. She doesn't demolish. She rebuilds.”
Prim leaned into his touch and smiled.
“You, Prim, open a door to my walls. Only you have the key, and you come and go as you please. And that,” Leo swallowed, “was scary.”
He looked down ridden with guilt. He sighed again and looked up, imploring her to understand what she was saying.
“I got so scared, Prim. So, I acted on instinct. Pushing you away, closing the door like I did the door between our rooms, thinking that this would protect me. But it was too late. You were everywhere, in my mind, in my soul, under my skin.”
Prim nodded in understanding, her thumb stroking his cheek as her other hand still nestled in his.
“I never thought in my life,” Prim started, “that I could have someone for me.
It's been years since I've been taking care of the twins and worrying about their future. And I never really had anyone worrying about me. And the worst part is, I never thought I wanted anyone taking care of me. Till you came along.”
Leo was listening very carefully, nuzzling closer while on his knees. His eyes didn't leave hers as she told her side of the story.
“I know, Leo,” she ran her fingers through his hair, “we didn't meet with the most regular of circumstances.”
“Regular is overrated. One day, have Abigail tell you her story.”
“I do get the sense that it would be interesting,” Prim joked with a huffed laughter.
They both laughed a little,e expelling some of the tension that still pestered their souls from the danger that they had faced. Then their look turned deeper, bringing them back to the moment.
“But somehow,” Prim said softly, “along the way it became real for me.”
Leo straightened his body, his height brought him closer to her face even in this position.
“It was real. It is real, Prim,” Leo begged. “It's not fair that it took me the realization that I would lose you, terribly lose you, to realize what you mean to me. What you always meant to me but I just named it something else entirely.”
He pulled even closer, both hands on her waist, his stance that of supplication. His impossibly blue eyes were taking in her face as if he was trying to decipher every little movement with agony.
“Please tell me I'm not late,” Leo begged. “You were never a wife of convenience or circumstance. I was always meant to be yours.”
Prim's breath hitched. She didn't expect that kind of confession. She searched his face for any traces of a lie.
“You seem to be in disbelief,” Leo sighed. “I don't blame you. I guess I will have to make up for all the stupid things I said. And I will start by saying this.”
His grip upon her waist became tighter. He pulled incredibly close, not even air could pass between them, his breath fanned her face. All that he was expressed in his blue eyes, open and clear as she gazed down upon them.
“I love you, my Prim. I love you, Ms. P.J. I love you.”
Her hands, which had been stroking his hair, stilled. Then, they framed his face, her touch reverent. He bravely bared himself to her. It was only fair that she did the same. She leaned in, now their faces so close that she breathed the air he exhaled.
“I have loved you through every strategy, every defense, every foolish, wonderful moment. I loved you even when you broke my heart, because my heart was yours already. I love you so much.”
Leo exhaled a stuttering breath that was holding inside him his whole essence, and he could now release it into her care with trust. His smile was so radiant it could make the sunbeams filtering through the drapes jealous.
“You love me? You truly love?”
“I do.”
He closed the distance between them in a searing kiss. His hands left her waist, one tangling in the hair at the nape of her neck, the other splaying against her back to press her closer, as if he could fill the hollow space that she left with your warmth.
Prim responded with the same fervor. Her fingers slid from his face into his hair, gripping, anchoring. All that she didn't say was poured into this kiss that turned into a promise into a vow.
They broke the kiss just to gasp for air, but they stayed close, looking at each other finally without any pretense or any doubts.
“Again!” Leo requested.
She could feel in his desperation that it might take a million kisses to reaffirm what they almost lost. And she was willing to meet that tally.
In one swift move, he lifted her up and laid her on the bed. They still wore the clothes from the harbor, the stench of their agony wafted in the air, and blood was all over him, but none of it mattered. If Prem didn't feel him all of him right now she would go crazy.
“I need to touch you, Prim, please, let me.”
“I need you too, so much. Don't stop, please, don't.”
He made quick work of their clothes, and soon they were naked and tangled in each other's arms. Leo didn't leave one inch of her body untouched as he covered her. He leaned in, his lips caressing hers, slowly, softly, his tongue slipping in her mouth with agonizingly slow pace.
This was not enough for Prim. She moved her body and dragged her feet on the carpet till she lay completely open, her core budding like a rose for him, glistening wet.
“Oh, Prim,” Leo moaned and nestled between them.
He raised his body a little, just enough, just so that he could see into her eyes.
He found the hairpins that held the golden cascade of your hair and freed them, driving his fingers through them.
He caressed her face slowly down her chin, then her neck.
He let his finger drop all over her shoulder and touched her arm in a feather touch that woke her skin.
He took her hand and softly kissed it, his eyes still in hers.
Then, he placed her palm on his body, finally feeling her touch that he had missed so much.
Only for one second, he closed his eyes at this sensation, inhaling sharply.
Then he gazed upon her as his hand went between her breasts, caressing her slowly down her waist, reacquainting her body with his touch.
And she did the same, her fingertips trailing a path on his body, endless, winding, like the path that led them here. She let her fingers go around his eyes and down his lips and then toy tenderly with his ears, his sensitive skin there making his breaths deeper.
Their eyes followed their hands, but returned to each other every other moment. It was an exercise between the restraint the moment demanded, more profound than any other joining, and anticipation, their bodies yearning for each other.
Leo settled between her thighs, but he didn't rush.
He rocked his body gently and slowly, letting her know how much he wanted her, how much he ached for her.
The look in his eyes was soft, as if the most incredible, unbelievable thing was happening to him.
Prim felt exactly like that. Cherished and loved beyond any doubt.
“May I, Prim?” he asked for her permission and her trust.
“Yes,” she replied willingly.
With one little push, he opened her budding center slowly. He held his breath as he plunged deeper, inch by inch. He looked at her in the eyes, his lips were open with a silent sound. He sheathed himself completely deep moan.
A sigh escaped Prim’s lips as she felt him filling her up, but she kept her eyes on his, that unbreakable moment, enduring the profound sensation of their desire.
“Oh, Prim,” he breathed over her lips. “You are my everything. I'm never letting you go.”
“I'm not going anywhere. You're all I ever wanted,” she exhaled.
Leo moved, and it was as if the whole world was moving with him. There was no frenzy, only a deliberate, melting union. Each time he withdrew it was like a promise to return, and each time he sank into her, it was a vow that he fulfilled.
He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling as they panted faster. She arched beneath him to take him deeper, to offer more of herself. Her offering, he accepted with a choked gasp, his hips rolling more intensely, yet keeping that languid rhythm.
Prim felt that sweet warmth taking over her body, spreading outward, filling her every cell. Leo knew her body very well he saw the shift, and he held her closer, his arms going under her back, their lips almost touching.
“Let go, Prim. I'm here for you,” he whispered.
Prim soared into the heights of pleasure and let go, falling into his arms.
“I love you so much,” she exhaled as pleasure took over her body.
“I love you, I love you,” Leo repeated as his own body stilled inside her and then melted onto her.
For long moments, there was only the sound of their struggling breaths mingling in the quiet air. Then he pushed himself back and looked upon her with adoration. They didn't need to say a lot. They had spoken with words and their bodies, so their souls knew it was true.
Almost didn't want to believe that this was true, she was finally happy with Leo. Then she remembered all that they've been through, all the difficulties that they've overcome, and she realized that they truly deserved this.