Chapter 2 #4
She only heard the door close behind him. Now that he was gone, she did not know how to even begin processing what had just taken place.
She considered herself to be a morally upright and honest person, but of course, she had told little white lies before, as had everyone else in the world.
In her mind, this was also a white lie, but it was on the brink of becoming a reality.
“Is he gone?” The sound of her father’s voice came from outside the room, snapping Rachel out of her haze.
Oh, no, no, no.
Rachel’s instincts kicked in, and she knew that she had to bolt from the scene immediately. She could not stand there and be subjected to their questioning, for she did not even have the answers herself. She ran to her room and closed the door behind her.
A few moments of solitude were what she needed right now. Not her family’s taunts and questioning.
Her desk seemed like the one place that could anchor her in his difficult time. So she quickly went to it and hastily pulled out a sheet of paper.
A letter of rejection.
Yes, that is what she ought to do. She must write it and end this madness. But it was as though her hands had been rendered frozen. Even if she wished to write, she could not find herself physically able to.
It seemed that hours had passed as Rachel continued to stare at the empty piece of paper, which seemed to taunt her now. But in reality, only a few moments had passed.
There was a knock on her door, diverting her attention momentarily. She began to prepare herself for the worst questioning from her father, but the sound that came next delivered a great deal of relief to her.
“Rachel?”
Thank heavens, it was only Marina. She could not handle seeing anyone else at this moment.
She quickly sat up. “Come in.”
Marina stepped into the room, her expression a mix of worry and fear. “I heard… There was a lot of commotion, and I heard the duke was here. Father refuses to tell me anything as he is too busy consoling Letitia, who is crying in her room. You need to tell me. What happened?”
The nervous look on Marina’s face said everything.
“Exactly what you think,” Rachel said dryly. Luck had never really been on her side.
“He knows, doesn’t he?” Marina began pacing back and forth. “Oh, I warned you that this might backfire, and now look at what you have gotten yourself into.”
“No need to rub it in,” Rachel sighed. “It is beyond my control now.”
“What is he going to do?”
Rachel held up the empty piece of paper in her hands. “I can either write him a letter to reject him—”
“But you cannot reject a duke! Your reputation will never recover—”
“Or I can just get married to him,” Rachel sighed. “The ceremony will be done within a week.”
“Has he gone mad?” Marina asked. “Why is he doing this?”
Rachel shook her head. She did not know which one of them was the mad one. Her for starting the rumor, or him for actually trying to make it into a reality.
Perhaps they would make a good match.
“And what did Father say?” Marina gasped. “Surely, he must have been furious. Oh, this only means that he is going to be even more unkind to you now.”
Rachel pressed her lips together. She did not even wish to think about the havoc this decision was going to wreak on her life at home—or worse, her sister.
And then she realized, “Oh heavens.”
“What’s happened now?” Marina asked immediately.
But Rachel could not speak. Given how angry their father had been, she knew that he would now only make her life a living hell if she were to remain in this house. Why wouldn’t he? He had all the power over her, and she was entirely reliant on him.
Unless…
She wrapped her arms around Marina, holding her tightly. “Don’t worry, I’ll fix this. I’ll fix it all—you will not need to suffer because of my actions.”
“But how?” Marina sounded hopeless.
“I’ll marry him,” she announced, the words feeling foreign in her own mouth. Yes, she had gone about claiming that they were to marry before—with such confidence—but that had meant nothing.
Now, her words actually held weight.
“I do not think my life would ever improve if I rejected his proposal. Or yours for that matter,” she continued. It was the only way.
If she became the duchess, then her father would not have power over her anymore, and she could at least use her title to protect Marina.
“Rachel,” Marina shook her head, “you need to be more careful. It is marriage that we are talking about, not some small thing. You must think clearly.”
The time for thinking clearly might have passed already.
“I am thinking clearly,” she lied.
Marina shook her head vehemently, “You think marrying a man like the Duke of Everly is fixing it? Rachel, you do not even know him!”
Rachel folded her arms, “What I see is an opportunity. I may not know him, but I know what this will do for you.”
“How is your sacrificing your entire life supposed to help me? Do you think I’ll be happy knowing you’ve trapped yourself in a marriage you don’t want?” Marina blazed.
If only her sister could understand it wasn’t what she wanted that mattered. Rachel heaved a long sigh, clamping her fingers to her temples as if she was actually gripping her sanity by the throat. She took a breath, sitting down to calm herself.
“If I don’t do this… If I don’t marry him, you’ll never have a chance of freedom. I can’t allow that to happen.”
“Freedom?” Marina scoffed, pacing the small room again. “You’re trading one prison for another, Rachel. Do you honestly think the Duke of Everly is going to offer you freedom? He’s… he’s…”
“He’s… determined at least,” Rachel completed her sister’s sentence. “And I suppose one could say that he is also honorable. He didn’t have to go through with this. He simply could have exposed the lie and left me to ruin, but he didn’t.”
“And what if he is truly terrible? What then?” Marina shook her head.
“Then I suppose that will be my marriage,” Rachel sighed.
“You always put yourself last,” Marina lamented, but even she seemed to realize that there was no more arguing with her sister.
She was stubborn after all.
“Come on,” Rachel stepped forward and touched Marina’s shoulders. “Don’t overact like that. I guess we’ll have to plan a wedding then.”
She just felt like throwing up whenever she said the words out loud, but she didn’t want that to be too obvious, for Marina’s sake, who was already pretty anxious.
At the ridiculousness of the situation, Marina came up with a half-sob, half-laugh, and then brushed her tears from her cheeks with her hand.
“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” she asked. “Once you’re gone.”
Oh heavens. That was something she did not even want to think about.
“Every week. And if Letitia or Father gives you trouble, you’ll write to me. I’ll handle them no matter where I am.”
“Why does it feel as though you are going off to war?” Marina murmured against her shoulder.
Rachel pulled back, “Marriage, war… they’re not so different.”
It was true. Rachel had never thought she would ever marry. The likelihood of her being sent off to war seemed more likely than her ever willingly deciding to wed.
But there was no use fretting over it now. The decision had been made.