Chapter Twenty-Six
Desperate, Evie waited until the household was quiet to trace her nightly path to Xander’s bedroom.
Anxiety that he wouldn’t hear her out threatened to choke her. Holding her breath, she depressed the lever of the door handle. Locked. Her fears had been well-founded.
She shrugged. The guests, including her family, were around a corner of the hall. The staff had accepted both her and Xander’s unique perspectives on their supposed “stations.” So she knocked softly and spoke close to the door. “Xander, please let me apologize.”
Silence.
“Xander,” she tried a little louder. “Please.”
She debated going to see if she could find Mrs. Betters’s keyring, but she didn’t want to anger Xander any further.
She knocked again.
A rustle of fabric through the door signified movement, but the lock did not click open.
Almost nose-to-wood, she said, “I want to explain.”
At that, the door was yanked open. “You explained already. Forgive me for not finding your excuses acceptable.” He shrugged and added, “Or don’t.”
She lifted a foot to step forward, not wanting to have this conversation in the hall, but Xander stepped into her space, blocking the doorway.
“Oh no.” He narrowed his eyes and spoke through gritted teeth. “You don’t get to come in here and say I compromised you. You wished to speak to me, do it here, or like your so-called civilized peers like to say, visit at a decent hour with a chaperone present.”
She sighed. Seeing the situation from his viewpoint, his lack of trust made sense, but it still hurt.
She’d anticipated that he’d be calmer by now, but she’d caused him a mix of embarrassment and pain.
Squaring her shoulders, she hoped he’d listen to her explanation and find some resonance with his own situation.
“Please imagine a young, impressionable girl—”
He snorted and folded his arms across his chest.
“—of ten-and-seven in her first season. She has a decent dowry and thus is the belle of all the balls. Then a surprisingly young duke—a duke!—pays her attention. And he doesn’t need her dowry, so he must like her for herself.”
“Sounds like the normal shallow-minded self-centeredness of the Ton.”
Evie stamped her foot, and his brows rose. He unfolded his arms as though to close the door between them.
Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to remain calm but spoke faster in fear he’d stop listening and shut her out.
“I believe I mentioned she was young and impressionable. And very sheltered. ’Twas only after the papers were signed that she understood his nature.
He was a bigot and a snob, and he expected her to be silent, acquiescing to his direction at all times.
And, once there were children, likely out of sight in a country home like this one whilst he sowed his wild oats in London. ”
Re-crossing his arms, he drew his mouth to the side, looking skeptical.
She threw out her hands and begged, “How could I have known? Navigating the politics of London for a young débutante was like—like you navigating the House of Lords decisions needing your input. If you hadn’t had help would you have known what questions to ask?”
He narrowed his eyes.
She hoped that meant he was thinking. “I came with the best of intentions—”
He snorted again, indicating she’d lost what little sympathy he might have felt.
“I did,” she insisted. “Please, if nothing else, believe that. I didn’t want to be miserable.
Nor did I want you to be wed to someone who didn’t suit you.
Let’s be honest, I’m not the quiet demure type.
I was never going to sit quietly by whilst my husband made atrocious decisions that hurt our country and caroused with other women. ”
His lips twitched as the corners of his lips betrayed him. He was clearly suppressing a smile.
“Before your predecessor died, I was already looking for a way out of the marriage. I was frantic. Then you inherited and no one knew a thing about you. Xander, you know me.” She was wringing her hands now in frustration and earnestness.
“I am the last person to care about your background. I simply wanted to know if you were a good man.”
The still-silent duke continued staring at her. It was time to be brave. She stepped in, toe to toe with him, laying a hand on his forearms, just in front of his heart. “And Xander, you are a good man. The best of men. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you.”
“Ha!”
The bark of laughter made her blink and step back. His response to her confessing her love was laughter. A knife twisted in her chest. He wasn’t going to forgive her.
He continued at full voice, “Fine. You asked me to believe you had the best of intentions—if nothing else. That is all I’m willing to believe of all this nonsense.
You are here because you decided you want the pub manager duke for some reason.
Perhaps I am a trophy. Perhaps ’tis to save face.
Perhaps—” he leaned in and lowered his voice a degree.
“—’twas the bedroom lessons. Whatever, I’m not falling for the ruse.
Dealing with being a nob after hating them all is bad enough. I don’t need to abide liars.”
With that, he stepped back and slammed the door, leaving Evie inches from it alone in the hall.
She stared at it, motionless, wishing she could have told him earlier, or finished that note to Aunt Lou, or had one more chance to hold him.
The clank of glass behind the door meant he’d moved on from their conversation, pouring himself a drink in all likelihood.
She returned to her servant quarters with tears streaming down her face and her heart shattered.
* * * *
Evie sat with her mother and aunt in the sitting room off her parents’ bedroom, perched on the footstool between their chairs. A tea tray and cups sat abandoned on the table behind her.
She’d chosen this seat against her mother’s admonishments about ladylike behavior so she could be within touching distance of her favorite relatives.
Lud, she’d missed these ladies. Despite her joy at seeing them again, her eyes stung and were swollen despite the cold compresses of tea she’d kept on them for a half hour this morning.
Her mother sat with lips pressed together and her hands gripping her knees. “Evie, whatever were you thinking?”
“I was about to tell him. I’d hoped for a few more days, but cousin Hollie arrived and caught me.”
“I’m talking about all these weeks, not the past day. You have everything a girl could want—pretty dresses, an account at the bookstore, friends. Yet you are up here scrubbing floors and whatever else.”
“You saw what happened. The previous duke was all smiles and courtly manners until he had Father’s signature on the marriage contract.
Then he became dictatorial and standoffish if I stepped so much as a toe out of line.
Plus, he was a Tory. I told you and Father I wanted to break the contract, and you said to bide my time. As though I was being flighty.”
“You’ll excuse us if we worried you’d change your mind yet again. You’d already changed it once in a matter of a month.”
“Based on his behavior.” Aunt Lou stepped in to defend her, and Evie squeezed her knee in thanks.
Mama waved a hand. “I suppose that is all beside the point now, anyway. How could you believe this was the solution though?”
“How else? Xander is still prevaricating about coming to London. He hates the place and the aristocracy, and he is struggling with all of this change.”
“Can’t say I blame him,” Aunt Lou murmured.
Mama shot her sister a quelling look before asking Evie, “And what did you discover?”
“Oh, Mama,” Evie breathed out. “He is the kindest person I know. Gruff, certainly, and rough. But ever so kind under that tough exterior. He ensures the staff have time off, more than any other household I’ve seen.
He keeps his meals simple. The whole household is in awe of him yet comfortable enough that they’ll help him if he stumbles on a certain aspect of ducal etiquette. ”
Louisa sighed through a smile, propping her chin in her hand.
Mama glanced at her and allowed herself a small smile also. “I’m starting to see.”
Excited that her family was so enraptured with the idea of romance, Evie was still waxing poetic. “He always checks that I am comfortable.”
“When would he need to worry about that?” Her mother’s voice went sharp.
Evie jolted and slanted a guilty glance at her mother. “When we are reading by candlelight in the evenings, of course. I thought I mentioned that I’ve helped him with Parliamentary correspondence?”
“No, you had not. What is this, then? And how did it come about?”
Evie heaved a sigh of relief at having redirected her mother’s attention and explained, as Mama and Aunt Lou exchanged knowing looks.
Her mother tilted her head and said more than asked, “You’re in love with him.”
Evie burst into noisy tears yet again, nodding as she was unable to form words.
Both ladies leaned forward to rub her back.
Her mother said, “Sometimes a strategic retreat is the way to win the war. I think we should move to the inn in town, and you can stay with your aunt. The duke has agreed to wait until after the Season to dissolve the agreement, so we have time to formulate a new battle plan.”
* * * *
The following morning, the ladies sat in a private room at the inn, where Evie shared a sofa with her mother and her aunt lounged across from them. Evie was in a gown she’d brought from London, chafing at the layers of undergarments and restrictions, despite the fineness of the fabrics.
The clothing inspired her mood. She’d cried all her tears at Xander’s. For herself for her stupidity, for Xander’s unwillingness to understand her predicament, and for her broken heart.
Lady Evelyn Allen was ready to plan.
Her mother poured tea for the three of them while fixing Evie with a stern look.
“If you were so sure you wanted him as a husband, why did you not admit your ruse? Look at your hands, so rough from all that hard work. It will already take ages to make you presentable again. Why stay and continue to work as a”—she could barely form the words—“as a—servant?”
Evie sighed. The right answer was probably not because I was having fun and learning all sorts of intimate activities besides. Choosing more diplomatic words, she answered, “There was always more to learn.”
“And now?”
“Now,” Evie said with an even heavier sigh, “I cannot imagine ever learning enough to want to leave. Xander is compelling. He champions the working class whilst being willing to learn to navigate the clubs and ballrooms of London rather than burning the world down. I considered myself enlightened until I heard his take on some of these laws. He challenges me, he teaches me, and he is open to learning from me.”
When she finished trying to describe her feelings, Aunt Lou began to clap, and her mama had tears in her eyes.
Mama dabbed at her eyes. “Right, then. How do we change his mind on honoring the marriage?”
Evie wrapped an arm around her mother to hug her. Her mother’s acceptance of this whole crazy scheme and offer to help plan their next steps gave her hope. “Thank you, Mama.”
“Perhaps you insist—I mean, invite—His Grace to London and introduce him to society?” Louisa tossed out.
Mama shook her head. “That could damage Evie’s reputation more if he continues on this path of refusing the marriage.”
Evie added her thoughts. “Xander hates London. It might be more than we can hope for to overcome that, especially given his hatred of both ‘nobs’ and the city.”
“Letters, perhaps? Keeping the conversation open?” Mama asked.
“No.” Aunt Lou straightened her spine. “In person is always better. She needs to stay here.”
“Oh, dear. I don’t know that Elliot will allow that.”
“I have faith in you, sister. You’ll find a way to convince him.”
“After all this mess? I’m not so sure.” Her mother went to find the earl, only to return and inform them that he was already ordering the servants to pack their things and was adamant they return to London—with Evie.