Chapter Seven #4
“Then when it got patched.”
And on.
“Which reminds me of another glitch.”
And on.
“And that’s how the ‘Droopy Balls’ strat come to be. I actually talked to DroopyBalls69x once on a forum for the game. He was pretty cool, but he couldn’t stop making jokes about balls every 5 minutes, so I stopped talking to him since it got too repetitive.”
“That’s—that’s enough!” Rosie whined. “The knowledge gets more and more cursed the more you talk! I don’t want to think that we used to just be some game where guys named DroopyBalls69x made the deadliest dungeons look like playgrounds for children!”
“But wait, there’s more.”
“I don’t want there to be more! Go back to teasing me! I’d rather almost cu—I… I mean… I’d… rather need an… emergency bathroom break… again.”
I blinked a couple of times from the shocking truth that she just tried to cover up.
I knew that I was teasing her and getting her all worked up earlier, but did she almost climax in the middle of a restaurant just from such light teasing?
It was impossible not to feel incredibly smug after hearing that.
That was why I leaned closer to whisper into her ear, “It’s alright if you’re a quickshot. If anything, I think that’s cute.” I was getting way too addicted to the conveniently gender-swapped roles.
I hit the bullseye, too. Rosie lit up like a tomato. “I—I’m not—!” The noises that then escaped her mouth could best be described as the verbal equivalent of keyboard smashing.
“Don’t worry. A little bit of endurance training is all you need,” I whispered. “We’ll see how long I can train you to last.”
More verbal keyboard smashing ensued.
It was time to pause the flirting, though.
We reached my destination: my favorite alchemy shop, Little Witch’s Brew.
The fact that the owner was another halfling girl had absolutely nothing to do with why she was my favorite.
She wasn’t romanceable, either, just like Tabitha.
It just so happened that she also had a questline that would unlock new dungeons later on, plus there was one thing that I found extremely endearing about her character.
“Welcome, welcome,” said the slow, lazy voice of a girl sitting behind the counter wearing a witch’s hat that was far, far too large for her head.
The hat probably had more mass to it than her body did.
“Mmm…? A guy? That’s rare.” The shop was a pretty cozy one.
Just as messy as Tabitha’s, but not nearly as dangerous to walk around in.
Probably. There were tons of random alchemical ingredients and books scattered around, though.
As for why the best shopkeepers who all had questlines that led to unlocking new dungeons were all halfling girls, that was a question to take up with Seth, not me.
“Sooooo…” the owner, Marissa, yawned before continuing, “you need something?”
“I wanted to get some potions for the dungeon,” I answered.
Marissa looked at Rosie and then me. “Not birth control?”
I looked at Rosie. “You think we need that?”
Rosie reddened up. “Not yet!”
Marissa let out a little chuckle. “Heh… youth. Must be niiiice. Anyyywaysss… what kind of potions do you need?”
I opened up my inventory to show her and explained, “I want to use the stingers I’ve got to brew them with some Potent Healing Potions.”
“Mm… soo… that’ll make Potent Healing Cures. Thaaat what you want?”
“Sounds right.” The alchemy system was fun because, with few limitations, almost all potions could be combined. Combine a health potion with a poison cure and it became a potion that cursed poison while restoring health. Enhancements could also be added to increase their usefulness, too.
“Got iiiiit,” Marissa replied. “That’ll be… since you’ve got the stiiingers, seven and a half silver.”
That was actually about twice as much silver as I had.
I miscalculated.
Though, in this world… Marissa looked at Rosie for the pay rather than me.
“I can get it!” Rosie announced.
“Sorry, I’ll pay you back,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it! Hehe, this lets me feel extra useful. Besides… you probably plan on giving me most of these, don’t you?”
“Guity as charged.”
“I figured.”
The transaction was finalized. The stingers disappeared from my inventory and appeared on the counter in front of the witch. She took them into her own inventory, went and grabbed some healing potions off a shelf, then went over to her cauldron that was already filled with a swirling, green liquid.
It didn’t matter that I saw the—admittedly simple—alchemy animation hundreds of times before. I was still excited to see it in person for the first time!
Marissa tossed the healing potions into the cauldron, then the stingers, and then grabbed her brewing stick to mix them all up.
Her mixing grew faster and faster as the cauldron began to glow with energy before finally getting so fast that she lost her stick in it and almost tripped into the cauldron trying to get it back.
Fortunately, she did get it back without adding herself as one of the ingredients, and then she looked at us with a smirk as if to tell us that it was all part of her plan.
I couldn’t resist clapping while Rosie looked on with a far less amused expression.
“Ta-daaaa,” Marissa said, sounding even more monotone and sleepier than before. “Heeeere y’go.”
[Potent Healing Cure x6 added to inventory.]
“Annnything else? If not, I’m ready for a nap.”
“That’s everything,” I said. “Thanks for the help. I’ll be sure to come back.”
“Mmk. Bye-bye.” Marissa hopped back up onto her stool behind the counter, pulled her oversized hat down over her face, and quickly fell asleep.
I grabbed Rosie’s hand again and led her out of the shop now that we were done there.
“She was… an interesting girl,” Rosie said.
“Want some forbidden knowledge?” I asked.
“No! No spoilers!”
“You got it. Alright, I’ve just got to pick up my sickle and then we can hit up the dungeon.
Here, take some of these pots.” I transferred four of the six to Rosie.
Seeing as how she was more or less the tank right now for our party, she would most likely be taking most of the hits, so she was more likely to get poisoned than me.
Really, I probably didn’t need any of them, but having one wouldn’t hurt just to be safe… and having two was a good emergency fund.
We went over to Tabitha’s place after that.
“Here ya go!” Tabitha shouted, just as energetic in the morning as she was the day before. “I treated her real good, so make sure ya take care of her!”
Tabitha made sure to show me the sickle before properly transferring it to my inventory.
//Iron Sickle (+3)
//Type: Weapon [Sickle] (Common)
//Requirements: Level 1
//12 – 14 Damage (Slashing)
//Even the smallest of farmers’ tools can be used as weapons.
Looked right to me. Each enhancement increased the weapon’s potential by 33% of the base, minimum damage. So, it started off dealing six to eight damage, and three enhancements being slapped on top meant it now did twelve to fourteen damage.
Tabitha transferred the sickle to my inventory once I nodded. Then she said, “Now, enhancin’ it further won’t be so cheap since it’ll need its limit broken, and I can’t say I’d recommend the effort and money on a common weapon.”
Gear was limited to three enhancements per rarity tier.
So, a common could be enhanced three times, an uncommon could be enhanced six times, and so on.
If I wanted to enhance the sickle even more, I’d need to limit break it to basically evolve it into an uncommon weapon, but Tabitha was right.
It wasn’t worth it for a starting, common weapon.
Especially since limit breaking it required sacrificing a weapon of the same type of the next rarity up.
“Yeah, I’ll pass on that for now,” I said.
“I’m lookin’ forward to what ya bring me worth limit breakin’! By the way.” Tabitha looked Rosie over before looking back at me with a devilish grin. “Nice taste, partner.”
Rosie was already turning red.
“Right?” I replied. Then I grabbed Rosie by her hip to pull her against my side.
Tabitha might have been married to her craft, but that never stopped her from appreciating the ladies and giving the player character praise for his choices in women.
That didn’t change about her.
“So, ya headin’ off to a dungeon now?” Tabitha asked.
“That’s the plan,” I answered.
“Hmm. If ya don’t mind, I’ve got a quest I need doin’.”
“I’ll be happy to accept it, but I’ve got a specific dungeon planned for today.”