Chapter Five
T he insecurity set in as soon as Tarek was out of sight. Portland made it five hours before he blew up Tarek’s phone with texts. When his messages went ignored, Portland worked on grinding his back teeth to a pulp. He made it another two and a half hours before he stormed into the casino, hunting his prey. People who always only saw him at his most congenial scampered from his path the moment they saw his expression. Portland couldn’t imagine how he looked. Probably like he intended to murder someone. He wasn’t sure that wasn’t exactly what he planned to do. Portland had told Tarek they were a couple now. If he had forgotten that already, Portland might do anything.
Finally, Tarek came into view. He stood stoically at an empty table. Some days were like that. People chose slots over cards. Portland’s shoulders eased a hair. At least Tarek hadn’t lied about working today. He tried to calm his temper. Honestly, he felt a little ridiculous since he had driven Tarek to work this morning. Of course, he could have left with someone else. He didn’t know why he couldn’t break this ugly cycle in his head. Then Tarek turned his head and their gazes met. Tarek underwent a complete transformation. He went from the professional dealer to just a man. One who was visibly elated to see his man. Portland calmed. His ego had the balm it needed. Still, he couldn’t handle being ignored, and it was best for Tarek to understand that now. Portland wouldn’t tolerate having his messages unanswered.
He snagged a barstool at the chest high table.
Tarek’s eyes sparkled with happiness. “Hey, gorgeous.”
“You’ve been ignoring my texts.”
Tarek looked a bit confused, but quickly rallied. “I’m not allowed to look at my phone while I’m here.”
Portland felt a little stupid. Of course, Tarek wouldn’t be allowed to touch his phone on the floor. An uncomfortable chuckle escaped Portland. “I didn’t think of that. Maybe just ignore my texts when you turn on your phone. My messages might’ve gotten a little unhinged by the end.”
Tarek’s smile never dimmed. “That’s okay.” He checked his watch. “I’m off in five. If I head for the office to sign out, I’ll get there just in time.” He grabbed the clear bag he carried for work from beneath the table. “Here.” He tossed the bag to Portland. “My phone is inside. The code is five five one nine nine eight to unlock it. Just delete the messages. Then don’t think about it again.”
“You’re amazing.” The words fell from his lips, sounding as relieved as he felt. Portland had definitely shown his crazy self in those messages.
Tarek winked. “I’ll be right back.”
Portland enjoyed the show of watching him walk away for a moment before turning his attention to Tarek’s phone. He switched on the device and watched his wild spiral unfold on the face of his phone. Portland quickly deleted them before snooping through Tarek’s phone. There weren’t any nudes. Not of Tarek or anyone else. There were no texts with other men besides his roommates. A cursory glance showed those as mundane. After a quick glance to ensure Tarek wasn’t heading back, he put the phone away and checked the rest of the bag. He didn’t know what he thought he might find, since it was clear per the casino’s rules, but a day of being ignored had fucked with his head. A thought hit and Portland grabbed the phone again. With a few clicks, he shared Tarek’s location with himself and ensured the settings gave him permanent full-time access. Portland put the device away and dug his phone from his pocket. He sent Tarek a sweet message to make up for being psycho.
Portland: Thank you for being perfect for me. I notice everything you do.
There. Now he didn’t feel so guilty. With nothing left to do, Portland eyed the room. He saw a few faces he recognized. The casino’s manager, Saul, had guards milling the floor. To most, they likely looked like customers searching for the best machine. Portland had come here too long and knew too many people.
A few more minutes passed before he spotted Tarek heading his way. Portland swore his heart beat a little faster with each step Tarek took in his direction. He skipped the last steps to Portland’s side.
Portland realized he smiled like an idiot. “Hey.”
Tarek beamed at him. “Hey. I really want to kiss you right now, but I’m still in uniform and on the floor. Even off the clock, I’m not sure how Saul would react.”
Portland sat Tarek’s bag on the table. “Come here. Let’s do this.” He urged Tarek closer and removed the vest portion of Tarek’s uniform, along with his tie. Portland set it on top of Tarek’s bag before working on rolling up the long black sleeves of his dress shirt to his elbows and undoing the top few buttons. Next, he ran his fingers through Tarek’s hair, messing up the perfect professional-looking style he wore. He eyed his work. “There. You’re only missing your makeup, but no one can say shit.” Portland hauled Tarek forward and covered Tarek’s mouth with his. He poured the entire day’s worth of anxiety into the kiss, punishing Tarek for making him worry. Tarek’s hands swept up his chest. His loving touch had Portland matching his energy. Their kiss turned sweet.
Portland pulled away just far enough to press his forehead against Tarek’s. He didn’t open his eyes. Portland simply savored the peace and whatever this feeling was in his chest. An embarrassed chuckle escaped him. “I guess I missed you a little today.”
Tarek kissed the tip of his nose. “Good. I missed you too.”
That was all Portland needed to hear. He slipped from the stool and grabbed Tarek’s things. With Tarek’s belongings in one arm, he held his hand out for Tarek. “Let’s go.”
Tarek didn’t hesitate to link fingers with him. In fact, he also clung to the arm of the hand he held, sticking close to Portland’s side. Pride swelled his chest as they walked through the casino to the valet stand. Tarek was his. He had no reason to worry.
“What did you do today after dropping me off?”
If he was a paranoid guy, he might have seen the question as a jab at not trusting Tarek. He had brought Tarek to work. It was dumb as fuck to think Tarek had ghosted him. Some of his things were literally still at Portland’s place. But Tarek wasn’t the type to kick a man while he was down. Allowing him to delete those texts proved that.
“I went to the office and sat through several boring meetings and conference calls. How was your day?”
He felt Tarek shrug. “Kind of boring, actually. The days where I stand there with zero players and no tips—like today—are the worst. Not only do I see and feel every second of the day ticking by, I don’t make much money. It’s kind of depressing.” An odd look crossed Tarek’s features. “Forget I said any of that. I just realized how I sounded.”
That confused the fuck out of Portland. “What do you mean? You sounded frustrated by the day to me. That happens to everyone.”
Tarek still looked aggravated with himself. “That’s how guys talk when they’re hoping they’ll get an offer to supplement their income.”
Portland towed Tarek close and kissed his forehead. “Baby, even if you were doing that, I’m unbothered. It never crossed my mind you were gearing up to ask for money, but you’ll also never have to ask. You’ll never go without.” He turned away to deal with the valet before Tarek could argue. Portland didn’t want to hear it. Tarek was his, and Portland wouldn’t be accused of neglecting him in any fashion. His sexy baby didn’t need this job. Portland was just biding his time before he forced him to quit.
Tarek couldn’t understand why getting what he sought from the very beginning felt so wrong. Hearing Portland openly talk about supporting him made Tarek question himself. His pride pricked. He hadn’t expected that. Tarek realized he should have, since he had always been deeply independent. But it wasn’t that. He watched Portland interact with the valet. The way his smile went from polite to steamy as it turned from the guy fetching his car to Tarek. Tarek’s heart skipped a beat. His breath caught. He felt something. Fuck. Tarek wanted this for real. This had never truly been about money. He had watched Portland and plotted, but somewhere along the line, he had become obsessed.
Tarek pressed his hand against his stomach as it fluttered. He couldn’t breathe.
Portland’s smile disappeared. A line appeared between his eyebrows. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?”
Tarek didn’t think. He simply snagged a handful of Portland’s shirt and hauled him forward. He kissed Portland like he planned to fuck him because he did. Tarek didn’t care who saw. This was real. It was really real. Overwhelmed didn’t begin to cover the way he felt. He pulled away but melted into Portland’s arms, snuggling against his chest.
A sexy rumble of soft laughter brushed his ear. “What was that all about?”
Tarek kissed Portland’s neck. “It just hit me how grateful I am to have found you. I didn’t expect you, but I’m…” Tarek blew out a breath. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say. You’re making me feel things.”
Portland’s arms tightened around him. His lips brushed the shell of Tarek’s ear. “Same.”
Tarek pulled away. The longer they stood there, the longer it would take them to get home. His brow furrowed as he spotted the valet still standing where Portland left him. “Is there a reason that guy isn’t getting your car?”
Portland glanced over his shoulder.
“Saul would like to speak with you both in his office.”
Tarek’s heart dropped at the arrival of Saul’s guard. Mac was one of Saul’s personal guards—like one who took care of problems. With the mob, that made him fucking terrifying. The way Portland’s face hardened, transforming him into a stranger, made Tarek realize Portland knew it too.
“I take it this isn’t really a request.”
At Portland’s question, a terrifying smile touched Mac’s lips. “Not really, no.”
Portland dipped his chin. “Very well.” He set his palm on the small of Tarek’s back and motioned with the arm that still had Tarek’s things draped over it. “Lead the way.”
Mac’s smile turned even more feral. “You know the way. I think I’ll follow.”
As scared as Tarek was, he also experienced several odd thoughts. Mac seemed to be focused more on Portland than him. They seemed to know each other. Mac didn’t appear to trust Portland, and strangest of all, he got the feeling Mac thought Portland was dangerous—like he had to watch his back. Tarek was confused as hell.
As they crossed the threshold into Saul’s office, Tarek clasped his hands to keep them from shaking. He didn’t want to lose this job. Tarek didn’t understand what he had done wrong. Saul met his stare first. A kind smile touched his lips. Unfortunately, Saul possessed the most terrifying eyes Tarek had ever seen, so the smile didn’t really help. His eyes were a light gray that cut through a person. Tarek might have questioned if he had a soul, but he had seen the guy with his husband. There was a human in there. But then Saul’s eyes slid Portland’s way, and all warmth died. If Saul had been looking at him, Tarek might’ve taken a step back. His anxiety skyrocketed.
“Have a seat.”
Tarek sat.
Portland argued. “What is all this about, Gabris? We were headed home.” His voice didn’t even sound like Portland. Tarek couldn’t stop looking between Saul and him. Their cold stare-down was eerie. He felt like he started a movie halfway through and missed the entire plot.
Saul looked away, dismissing him. When he focused on Tarek, he turned human again. “How are you doing tonight?”
Tarek didn’t know how to answer. He went with honesty. “I suppose that depends on the nature of this conversation.”
Saul chuckled. “It’s fine. We just have a small problem that can be easily resolved.” He motioned Portland’s way without looking at him. “Mr. Wales is a regular high roller at this establishment. This puts us in an awkward position.”
Tarek’s heart sank. He hadn’t even considered that. He should have. Tarek knew how closely everything was watched. The casino would never risk there being any chance of odds leaning away from the house. “I see.”
“I don’t,” Portland grumbled. “I spend a lot of fucking money here.”
Saul’s friendly smile turned feral. When he spoke, his voice sounded like it came between clenched teeth, and he didn’t look Portland’s way. “And we’ll accept it no matter how it’s earned.”
Tarek found that odd. In fact, this entire situation felt a little fucked. He had to turn down the heat. “What do you need from me? I don’t want to lose my place in high roller.” He had worked too fucking hard to get bumped from the highest tipping job at the casino.
“You’re fine.” His gaze moved to Portland. “I just ask that Mr. Wales choose a different dealer when he visits us.” He focused on Tarek again. “And any public displays be off the clock, off the floor, and out of uniform.”
Tarek nodded. “Sounds fair.”
“No.”
Tarek’s head snapped around at Portland’s growled response. His face was hard enough to cut glass and Tarek nearly gasped. Portland was more than a little scary. Still, Tarek needed Portland to stop. This was his job on the line. He touched Portland’s arm. “It’s okay. I don’t think it’s unreasonable—”
“No,” Portland repeated, cutting him off. He didn’t look Tarek’s way. His murderous stare never wavered from Saul’s. Saul’s guards subtly moved closer. Portland either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “Tarek has done nothing to deserve your suspicions. He’s good at his job and loyal to this place. You won’t disrespect him by treating him like a cheat, and I’ll sit wherever the fuck I like.”
Saul was every bit as scary. “My problem isn’t with Tarek. I know he’s a good person. You seem to forget I know you, though, and this is my casino. You’re on my fucking turf. I choose who stays and where they fucking sit.”
“Whose turf?” Portland said, obviously mocking him.
Saul snorted. “If you’d like to take it up with someone else, feel free. I’m not sure you’d enjoy that outcome. There’s money and then there’s money . One lackey versus an entire block of establishments. Don’t overvalue yourself and end up…” Saul smiled as he trailed off, leaving his threat unsaid. “What’ll it be?”
“That’s a shame.” Portland held his hand out to Tarek. Tarek didn’t hesitate to take it. “As much as I’m sure you won’t notice, you’ve lost this high roller and your customers' favorite dealer.”
“Wait. What?” Tarek was confused as hell.
Saul’s expression snapped closed. He focused on Tarek. “Say the word. If you’re not safe, don’t leave this office. We can keep him from taking you.”
“What?” Tarek had no clue why he kept repeating that single question, but it was all he could get out between Saul and Portland arguing.
“I dare you to try, Gabris.”
Saul stood and his guards closed in, forming a tight circle. They wouldn’t be leaving.
Tarek panicked. “It’s okay. For God’s sake. Everyone stand down. I don’t know what in the hell is happening here, but just stop.” He had to defuse this. No matter the cost. The alternative meant their lives. “Please. I swear I’m safe. There’s no reason for all this.” He held Portland’s arm in a tight hug. “Let’s just go home like we planned. This is out of control for no reason. I’m starved and my head is pounding.”
At his final statement, Portland’s gaze snapped his way. His features softened, turning concerned. “Why didn’t you say anything?” He kissed Tarek’s forehead. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about you not eating yet today.”
Saul looked confused. His gaze slid between them. He cleared his throat. “If you change your mind, Tarek, your job will be here. You’ll always have a place here with us.”
Tarek dipped his chin. Sadness washed over him. “Thank you. I’ve loved working here.”
Saul looked as upset as Tarek felt—like he witnessed a tragedy. “Please call me if you need help.”
Tarek managed a small smile. He didn’t know how it looked, but it felt fake as hell. “Thank you. I will.”
“He won’t and doesn’t need you.” Portland’s voice was back to being a stranger.
Tarek urged him toward the door. “Let’s go, baby. I need some food.”
Portland looked at him again like an overly concerned father. His gaze moved over Tarek’s features. Tarek must have looked as bad as he felt because Portland nodded. “Okay, angel. I’ll stop somewhere on the way home.” Without another word or glance for Saul, Portland led him from the room.
Tarek fought not to look at anyone. He felt like a goddamn idiot. His chest hurt. He was confused and upset. It seemed he no longer had a job, and he wasn’t even sure who was at fault because the entire situation seemed to have absolutely nothing to do with him. Tarek tried like hell to gather his thoughts as they headed back to the valet stand. In the end, only one thought repeated loudly in his mind. What in the hell had he gotten himself into?