25. Marlowe
CHAPTER 25
Marlowe
A pparently, it’s Seraph tradition that a new hire puts her card behind the bar for the first team soirée she attends.
Athena has made it clear to me that this is categorically not happening on her watch.
She told me that the seraphim all know about my situation and that everyone has agreed to split the tab tonight.
I’m equal parts mortified and relieved.
Much as I hate being a charity case, I know the guilt would kill me if I watched these women drink thousands of pounds’ worth of champagne and spirits.
And it really would be thousands.
Athena said the champagne they drink at this place is like seven hundred pounds a bottle for table service.
A bottle!
So yeah.
When two bottles of champagne could fund a consultation with a cardiothoracic surgeon, then I’m more than willing to swallow my pride and save my cash.
Besides, I’m not going to drink much tonight.
I’m exhausted after the week I’ve had, and there’s no way I’m going to risk feeling crappy tomorrow when I get to spend quality time with my little girl.
I get myself across the river and meet Athena in Mayfair before we show up at the bar together.
As usual, she looks immaculate in a strappy black dress, her auburn hair styled in glossy waves.
She greets me with a tight hug and an aggressively worded warning that she wants and expects a full debrief of absolutely everything that’s gone down (pun intended, I’m sure) with Brendan this week.
Clearly, she thinks she’s above NDAs, and clearly I won’t hold back from dishing the dirt to her.
After all, she’s even more of a vault than her priest boyfriend.
This place is like an alternate universe.
It’s on the top floor of a swanky hotel, with huge windows showcasing a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree view of the London cityscape.
It’s incredible. The weather is perfect this evening, and as the sun lowers in the sky, it bathes the beautiful people in a golden glow.
And the people really are beautiful.
It’s a wealthy, shiny crowd for whom this is a standard Friday night.
Confidence rolls off everyone in waves.
These are not people who have a problem taking up space.
It’s no surprise when Athena steers me to the glossiest, noisiest corner of the room, where the seraphim stand by a huge window facing due west. This must be the most sought-after corner of the entire bar.
If I survive long enough, the sunset will be spectacular.
Despite the armour of my fabulous Miu Miu, the imposter syndrome kicks in immediately, because these women all look like supermodels who’ve probably moonlit at the UN and the White House, too.
You know the type? Fiercely intelligent.
So much panache. So accomplished.
The kind of gilded darlings who float through life like it’s a lazy river.
I went to school with lots of girls like that, but a glance tells me that these women are in a different league.
More worldly. More sophisticated.
More competent. I take a moment to drink them in.
They’re a bunch of gorgeous, glittering birds of paradise, and their sparkling laughter and glamorous looks are definitely drawing attention, but they seem oblivious.
Almost at once, I spot Sophia.
She comes towards us, arms outstretched in glee, her smile wide.
This woman is ridiculous.
She’s indecently tanned and absolutely glowing, her long dark hair a shiny mane.
She wears her fringe long and feathered so that her brown eyes peek seductively out from underneath it.
Her dress is skintight, electric blue, and has her incredible boobs out on a platter.
It’s a wonder her boss gets any work done at all.
She told me he’s in his sixties —some old, horny Greek shipping magnate.
I can’t even imagine.
I’m suddenly even more grateful that my dodgy moneymaking scheme comes with an outrageously hot man who serves up outrageously hot orgasms.
‘Ladies!’ she shouts.
‘The guest of honour is here! Let the festivities commence!’ I can’t tell if she’s already drunk or that’s just how she is.
She’s one of those people who are so vivacious that their sobriety level is not always obvious.
She lunges forward and throws her arms around both of us, air kissing me on both cheeks before hugging Athena.
‘I mean Marlowe, by the way. You shouldn’t even be here, you horrible little turncoat.
’
‘Once a seraph, always a seraph,’ Athena replies blithely.
‘Even if I’m giving away the goods for free these days.
’
Sophia gives a chic European shrug.
Her accent is pure Oxbridge, but she’s apparently also from a big Greek shipping family.
‘Gabe’s a lucky fucker, but I’m far more interested in how Brendan Big Dick Sullivan is treating our little ingenue here.
Marlowe, prepare to get drunk and spill the beans.
’
I laugh. I can’t imagine sitting around with these women and casually swapping sexual exploits, or sexploits, as the seraphim apparently term them.
Camille has explained that our NDAs purposely exclude our fellow Seraph members so that we have a safe pool of people with whom to be frank—critical in this job—but that doesn’t make me any less horrified at the prospect of openly sharing with anyone beyond Athena what Brendan and I have got up to.
It’s disrespectful to him, for one, and it’s far too…
complex, I suppose, for me to make light of it.
It’s still fresh, still raw.
Fabulously so, don’t get me wrong, but yeah.
Nope. No beans will be spilt tonight.
Not by me, anyway.
‘I’ll definitely take a drink,’ I tell Sophia now, because she strikes me as the kind of person to relent a little if you throw her a strategic bone.
‘Of course you will. Fuck knows, you’ve earned it this week.
Come here, come here.
Ladies—I give you our newest seraph, Marlowe.
’
I allow her to clamp an arm around me and pull me into the circle, Athena bringing up the rear.
There’s a chorus of effusive greetings and a generous smattering of smiles so full-wattage I’d swear there were paps around.
‘I feel exactly like the new girl at school,’ I whisper to Sophia with a shaky smile, but it’s true.
I remember showing up at Cheltenham Ladies’ College on a full scholarship, one of the only girls whose father wasn’t rich and either famous or titled.
In this moment, I’m right back there.
She doesn’t smile back but instead cocks her head and studies me with compassion.
‘That may be a younger part being triggered, but that’s understandable.
We’re going to show her that this is your tribe.
You’re wanted here, and you belong here.
Got it?’
Okay then.
I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I nod.
Even if I couldn’t feel less like I belong, I appreciate the sentiment, and I know Sophia and Athena have my back.
‘Got it.’
‘Marlowe,’ Camille says, coming forward with a warm smile.
‘You survived! How are you feeling?’
I lean in as she greets me with a kiss on each cheek.
‘I’m good. I’m—yeah.
It’s all good. He’s really sweet, he’s taken good care of me.
The office is lovely.
So yeah.’ I nod. ‘All good, really.’ So articulate, Marlowe.
She smiles kindly. ‘Oh dear. You’re a bit dazed still.
It’s absolutely to be expected.
The first few weeks are a lot.
Aren’t they, Bree?’
This is directed at a tall, slender Black woman who’s drifted up next to us.
She looks like a supermodel.
She’s in a coral pink halter-neck dress that showcases skin so glossy it doesn’t seem real.
It’s actually shimmering.
She’s so beautiful it’s ridiculous.
‘Hi, sweetie,’ she says, holding out her hand.
‘I’m Bree. We need to get you a drink.
And yes, the first week or two can range from the surreal to the downright bonkers.
These guys get so overexcited when they get their new toys.
It’s ridiculous, if you ask me.
So if you’re still standing and you can still walk, you should take that as a win.
’
I laugh at that, because she’s nailed the situation perfectly.
‘I couldn’t really sit down on day two,’ I confess, which is probably all the dirt I’m going to dish on Brendan.
Bree throws back her head and laughs, and I admire the huge diamonds flashing in her ears, the delicate column of her neck.
‘I have a feeling I’m going to regret knowing so many sordid details about my future brother-in-law,’ Athena says with a groan, shoving a goldfish-bowl-sized glass of rosé into my hands.
‘Relax, darling, I put some Pellegrino in it.’
‘Thanks,’ I tell her.
Bree gives her a hug that’s clearly genuine and supremely elegant at the same time.
‘Did you get engaged?’ Bree asks, and Athena gives her trademark dismissive face.
‘Nah. But we both know it’s going to happen.
’
‘Ahhh,’ everyone choruses.
‘Come over to the window,’ Sophia urges me.
‘This view is spectacular.’
‘When did you get in?’ I ask her as we approach the edge of the seating area.
From what she’s told me, she’s based in Athens with her boss, but he also spends a lot of time treating the Med as his personal playground.
She definitely didn’t get that tan in London, that’s for sure.
‘A couple of hours ago. Thad lent me his jet. The flight was fine, the traffic from Luton was a disaster.’ She shudders, and I marvel at the insouciance that comes with a lifestyle where hopping around Europe by jet is as normal as jumping on the Tube.
‘He loves you,’ Athena coos, and Sophia laughs.
‘He loves my body. It really is a fab gig.’ She stretches.
She’s like a cat, so comfortable in her own skin and so sensual.
They all are, actually.
‘Think it might be coming to a close, though. Oh, hey Tal.’
She breaks off as another gorgeous woman joins us.
Like Sophia, she has Mediterranean looks, with dark brown hair and olive skin, but it’s her eyes that are striking.
They’re a pale green-grey, and they’re startlingly beautiful against her skin.
‘Sorry to interrupt. I had to come say hi. Aren’t you gorgeous?
! Look at that dress.
I’m Talia, by the way.
’
‘Marlowe,’ I say.
I startle as she pulls me into a giant hug.
Wow, she smells incredible.
Athena swipes my wineglass from me just in time.
She’s staring at Sophia.
‘What do you mean, Soph?’
Sophia sighs, and Athena hands me back my glass.
‘He’s retiring, and his wife wants him to stop jetting around and settle on the estate.
Their eldest son is expecting his first kid—it’s a big deal.
’
‘Wow,’ Athena says.
‘How do you feel about that?’
Sophia shrugs.
‘I mean, it always had an expiration date. Either he was going to keel over and die from Viagra overload, or his wife was going to put her foot down. It’s not a huge surprise.
’
I stifle a giggle.
Apparently, Sophia’s boss treats her more like a full-on mistress than an assistant, and she seems fine with it.
To be fair, her lifestyle is insane, from what I know.
‘You can have my boss,’ Talia says through gritted teeth.
‘I’m washing my hands of him.
’
Another giggle threatens to break free.
I could listen to these women all evening.
The men they’re discussing are presumably some of the wealthiest, most powerful men in Europe, but they’re talking about them as if they’re annoying kids.
‘What’s he done now?
’ Athena asks. To me, she says, ‘Talia’s boss, Ethan, is very hot and a total wanker.
He has a face like a slapped arse most of the time.
’
‘Oh no,’ I say. I may still be trying to figure Brendan out, but for the most part, he seems to be a good guy.
A little immature, maybe, but he’s very good-natured.
It must be rough to have to manage the moods of someone with a difficult personality, especially when you have to be intimate with him.
‘It’s just death by a thousand cuts, you know?
’ Talia takes a big slug of the neat amber liquid in her tumbler, and I realise she’s already pretty drunk.
‘To be honest, I gave him my notice this afternoon. That’s why I’m getting hammered tonight.
’ She brandishes her drink.
‘Oh, darling,’ Athena says.
‘I’m sorry. That’s seriously shit.
What the fuck is his problem?
’
‘Ugh, he has so much baggage, I don’t even know where to start.
But I’m sick of him taking it out on me.
He yells at me all the time, and it’s just not worth it.
I’m sick of crying in the loos every day.
The cleaning lady had to comfort me the other day.
He’s an aggressive dickhead and he needs to find a way to work through those anger issues instead of bullying his assistant.
’
‘Damn fucking right he does,’ Sophia seethes.
‘Was he aggressive in bed?’
Talia pouts into her glass.
‘That’s the worst bit.
Yes he was, and it was fucking excellent.
I’ll miss all the angry sex.
Fighting was definitely our foreplay, and it was the only part of the whole bloody job I actually enjoyed.
’
I frown. I’m glad she enjoyed it, but that’s not really my style.
Thrashing it out with Brendan on the padel court this week was about as belligerent as I like my foreplay to be.
‘Hmm, interesting.’ Sophia appears to be turning over this new information.
‘I could stand up to him. I’d fucking kill him with my cheeriness.
But if that failed, I’d take every inch of fat, angry dick he could throw at me.
’
I can’t help it.
I burst out laughing.
These guys are absolutely hilarious, though I can already see how important it is to be able to laugh about this job.
‘You’d wipe the floor with him,’ Bree tells Sophia.
She’s been watching the interaction with silent focus.
‘You should talk to Camille and get her to hook you up, babes. And you, Tal, should go find a nice, good-natured man who worships the ground you walk on. God knows, you deserve it after putting up with that shit.’
A s the sun sets, Sophia, Athena and I drift toward a quieter corner of the bar, leaving the rest of the seraphim debating the merits of various investment opportunities with the ferocity—and, it seems, expertise—of Wall Street traders.
Sophia secures us a small booth partially hidden behind a cascading crystal installation that catches the fading light and transforms it into prismatic fragments across our faces.
‘Honestly. How are you finding it?’ Soph—she’s told me to call her that—asks.
‘Fun? Hot? Creepy? Confronting? Terrifying? All of the above?’
I take a sip of wine as I consider my answer.
‘Definitely all of the above.’
Sophia leans in, her dark eyes sparkling with the promise of salacious gossip as she swirls her martini.
She’s been knocking them back since I got here, but I still can’t tell if she’s hammered or just being herself.
‘First week with the infamous Brendan Sullivan. Give us the uncensored version. I bet he put a lot of noses out of joint by making a beeline for you.’
I hesitate, glancing at Athena, who responds with a knowing smile.
‘It's just us, Marls. Safe space.’
‘I don't even know where to start,’ I admit, taking a fortifying sip of my drink. ‘It's been... intense.’
‘Details, darling. We need details,’ Sophia purrs. ‘Is he as demanding as Athena said he’d be? I don’t know the man from Adam, so your secrets are safe with me.’
I feel my cheeks heat. I’m sure that, for most women in their twenties, dissecting their sex lives over cocktails is totally standard, but I missed that stage entirely. I couldn’t even tell my friends at uni about Joe—not till he knocked me up and the cat was out of the bag, anyway. So this feels downright bizarre, even if these women are professionals when it comes to shagging. ‘He's... thorough.’
Athena laughs. ‘Look at you blushing! You weren't this coy when you called me after your interview.’
‘That was different,’ I protest. ‘That was just us.’
‘And this is just us, plus Soph, who has literally done things that would make a porn star blush,’ Athena counters.
Soph shrugs. ‘Facts. But seriously, how are you holding up? I feel responsible for your wellbeing given I was the one who put the idea in your head in the first place.’
I stare into my glass, finding the right words. ‘Physically? I'm sore in places I forgot existed. Emotionally? I swing between feeling like I've hit the jackpot and feeling completely out of my depth. I mean, it’s not Brendan. He’s gorgeous. It’s no hardship to let him do whatever he wants, you know? It’s just the whole… thing. It’s completely surreal.’
‘Welcome to the club,’ Sophia says, her voice softening. ‘That pendulum swing never fully goes away, but it does slow down. Sometimes the transactional aspect makes you question everything about yourself, and sometimes you eat it the fuck up. Am I right?’
‘So true,’ Athena observes.
‘What I wasn't prepared for,’ I confess, ‘was how much I'd... enjoy it.’ I’ve been wrestling with this since my interview, but the admission feels even more shameful to say aloud.
Athena reaches for my hand. ‘You think we don't all feel that? That weird guilt when you realise you're getting off on something that should be a transaction? But the straight-up exchange of sex for money gets confusing when you get money and orgasms into the bargain.’
‘Exactly!’ I’m relieved these seasoned professionals understand. ‘And then his assistant Elaine was telling me stories about him—how he paid for some intern's mother's cancer treatment, and then in the next breath, how he's terrible to working mothers.’
I don't add the part about how terrified that makes me feel. Soph planted this genius seed in my head. Athena lobbied all the relevant parties to bend the rules and make it happen. The ball’s in my court now. It’s up to me to overachieve on all fronts so that Brendan doesn’t get tired of me or irritated with me.
I can’t give the guy any rope to hang me with.
Soph leans back, crossing her legs elegantly. ‘Men like Brendan are walking contradictions. That's what makes them interesting. Thad once flew a specialist from Johns Hopkins to Montenegro because his chef's daughter had a rare condition. Then the next day, he fired his PA for taking too many bathroom breaks. They’re honestly all like mercurial toddlers.’
‘How do you reconcile that?’ I ask.
‘You don’t,’ Athena says simply. ‘You use it. The contradictions mean there's a gap between who they are and who they want to be. That gap is your leverage.’
I blink at her. ‘Holy shit, that's... extremely philosophical.’
‘What did you think we were, just pretty faces who give great head?’ Soph laughs, the sound rich and genuine. ‘This job is psychological warfare disguised as world-class blow jobs.’
‘I would never for a single second underestimate anyone here,’ I tell her. ‘You women are terrifyingly smart. And I’m used to Athena blowing my mind. Believe me, after a decade and a half of friendship, you get used to it.’
‘Speaking of psychological warfare,’ Athena interjects, ‘how are you handling the office dynamic? That has to be trickier than the bedroom stuff.’
I think about the women in reception, the man who Brendan told me ogled me, and how he reacted. ‘Everyone watches him, so we have to be careful. All the guys look up to him and the women just want to jump him. It’s ridiculous. And I want to make friends, which means I can’t be seen as having any special favour with him, but I also feel quite isolated, especially because I’m always watching what I’m saying, how I’m interacting with Brendan publicly… It's exhausting trying to figure out the politics while also... you know.’
‘While also timing your boss's orgasms around his meeting schedule?’ Soph supplies helpfully. ‘Been there. Get a planner specifically for that. It’s not the sexiest thing, but he’ll be counting on you to carve out sexy time for him. You’ll need some good code names to get that into the shared calendar.’
‘Oh my God, oh my God, so much potential.’ Athena claps her hands briskly. ‘Right. Let’s see. Hands-on Training? Deep Dive Analysis?’
She says Deep Dive in a low, pervy voice. I snort, and Soph cackles loudly.
‘Fucking amazing. How about Mindfulness Monday? Tension Release Tuesday? Feel-Good Friday? Oooh. This is so much fun.’
‘Elaine will think Brendan’s gone full yogi,’ I say between giggles.
‘I bet he could make downward dogs very fucking dirty,’ Soph muses. ‘Mmm, delicious.’
‘You’ve been fucking an old man for too long,’ Athena tells her. ‘Maybe you should take Tal up on her offer. Angry sex is better than old-man sex.’
‘Facts.’ Soph holds her once-again-empty martini glass up in a salute.
We all burst into laughter, and for the first time all week, I feel the tension in my shoulders release.
‘Seriously though,’ Sophia continues when our laughter subsides, ‘the trick is to remember that you're the asset here. Not just your body—your entire skillset. These men could fuck anyone. They're paying for the whole package—and that’s you. Also, remember he’s been mooning over you for weeks and weeks.’
‘Exactly,’ Athena agrees. ‘You didn't get selected because you're just a pretty face, M. You got selected because you're brilliant, capable, and yes, gorgeous. Own all of it.’
I take another sip, contemplating. ‘I guess I've been thinking of this as something happening to me, not something I'm actively choosing.’
‘And that,’ Soph says, tapping a perfect red nail against my glass, ‘is the difference between being a victim and being a seraph. These men may think they own us. God bless them, they don’t know how wrong they are.’
Athena's eyes meet mine. I know this expression. It’s her stern, bossy, I-love-you expression. ‘You're doing this for Tabby, we know that. But don't let that be an excuse to disconnect from your power. You chose this path because you're brave enough to do whatever it takes for her. That's strength, not shame.’
I feel something shift inside me—a subtle realignment. ‘I never thought of it that way.’
‘Well, start,’ Sophia says firmly. ‘Because the minute you own this, Brendan will sense it. And trust me, nothing gets a man like him hotter than a woman who knows her worth. He may like it when you submit, but that’s because he knows how meaningful that submission is. How valuable .’
Athena raises her glass. ‘To knowing our worth.’
As we clink our drinks together, I catch a glimpse of our reflection in the mirrored wall across from us—three glamorous women with knowing smiles and fierce eyes. For the first time since signing up as a Seraph, I don't think of myself as an imposter among them.
I may even allow myself to believe I belong.
‘Have you had any more ideas about how you’re going to get leave to take Tabs to the US?’ Athena asks.
‘I’ve pretty much thought about nothing else. It just goes around and around in my head.’
‘Have you booked the operation yet?’ Soph asks. Her tone is far gentler than any she’s used so far this evening, and I can sense her compassion from here. But she doesn’t need to go gently on me, because this is a good thing. Having to nail both the logistics and the duplicity around sneaking off to save my daughter’s life is what I’d call a high-quality problem.
I nod. ‘It’s booked in for the first week of August. That’s the absolute earliest I can do it after this month’s pay cheque drops.’
Soph grimaces. ‘Three weeks from now? Okay, so you need to get your ducks in a row with Brendan quick-smart.’
‘I know. I need to do it this week. My current plan is to tell him a family member needs a procedure and to ask him for the time off.’
‘I have a far better plan,’ Athena says crisply. ‘It came to me the other day. Tell him you’ve been called up for jury duty. It’s by far the most bulletproof option. He could be a real pain in the arse if you ask for time off for a family member, but if you say you’ve been called up to do your civic duty, he’ll legally have to agree to it.’
I stare at her. Trust Athena to come up with the most effective lie. ‘That feels so dishonest, though. And can’t you get out of jury duty?’
She nearly spits out her drink. ‘Darling, you’ve lied through your teeth since you applied for this job. What’s one more lie? The key is that it preserves your credibility and your job for afterwards. Just tell him you’ve already escalated it and they won’t waive it. This way, you save face and you get the time off without him being able to do anything about it.’
She’s right, of course. But my mind is still whirring, turning over potential obstacles. ‘Wouldn’t he ask to see a copy of the summons?’
She shrugs. ‘Honestly, I can’t imagine he’d bother. He trusts you, so why would he question what you tell him?’
Ouch. She’s right—he does trust me. Which is why the idea of abusing that trust even further is so painful. That said, I’ve known this entire time that I’ll need to come up with a plausible reason to secure two weeks off from a brand-new, very highly paid job.
I’m already going to hell. One more lie won’t make any difference. And if it gets me on that plane with Tabs, it’ll be worth it.