Epilogue
I ’m chuckling to myself as Brendan reenters the bedroom, but the sight of him has me instantly distracted.
It’s the low-slung cotton pyjama bottoms and all that bare skin and muscle up top.
He’s carrying two mugs of steaming hot coffee, and his dark hair is sticking up in several directions.
He is quite simply the dream.
If sleeping with Brendan Sullivan is heady, then actually sleeping with him is sublime.
He’s a huge, hairy, cuddly teddy bear, and falling asleep and waking up in his arms is the safest, the most loved, I’ve ever felt.
I simply don’t know how I slept alone for so many years.
Tabs and I are having a sleepover at his place in Battersea.
I call it a sleepover, but we haven’t actually slept in our flat for a month.
It’s more of an extended sleepover.
After I threw a tantrum over the ridiculous security presence Brendan had implanted, he told me firmly that as long as I was living there, his scary guards would be there too, keeping the stabby gang members away.
As a compromise, we’ve been staying with him and Mark more often.
And who am I kidding?
This place is a palace.
Tabby adores the room Brendan has had set up for her, and I adore coming home from work, kicking off my shoes, and sitting down at that gorgeous Steinway to let the day pour out of me through the healing power of song.
It’s not ideal for Tabby’s school, but with the lovely and very attentive Yan on school run every morning and afternoon, it’s doable for now.
That said, it’s a temporary solution.
The three of us are finding our feet in this new relationship dynamic.
We went through a lot this summer.
Tabby’s only been back at school for a few weeks, after all.
So this new period of good health and tranquility, of feeling like we’re floating gently downstream instead of drowning in the rapids, is very new to all of us.
‘What’s so funny?’ he asks, setting a mug on my bedside table before planting a soft kiss on my hair.
He wanders around the bed and climbs in, tugging me back against him.
I brandish my phone at him.
‘It’s Soph. Seems she finally interviewed with Ethan Kingsley yesterday.’
I try to keep my voice natural, but it still feels weird mentioning him to Brendan.
He seems to think so too, because he frowns.
‘Go on.’
I glance down at my phone and giggle again.
This girl is hysterical.
‘So, she thought he was an arrogant wanker, which she made abundantly clear to him during the interview, and they had a big fight.’
Brendan groans, but his mouth is twitching.
‘Nice one, Kingsley. Yet another woman alienated. So she walked?’
‘Not quite. Apparently the fight got them so worked up that they decided to go ahead with the audition part there and then, and he called Camille and told her to release the twenty-five grand.’
He grins.
‘Classy. So they hate-fucked right there?’
I’m almost giggling too hard to speak.
‘Yep, but after he made her come, he was being so smug that she turned around to him and said, “Look, dickhead, my last boss was sixty-five years old so the bar is really fucking low, okay?”’
‘I want to shake that woman by the hand. What a fucking queen.’
‘Seriously. She’s amazing.’
‘So did he kick her out or offer her the job?’
I throw my phone down on the bed.
‘He offered her the job.’
T he people I love seem to have a habit of approaching me cautiously, glossy brochure in hand, when they want to change my life.
Athena did it ten months ago, when she first planted the intoxicating idea of having Tabs treated at Duke.
And Brendan is doing it now.
Except that, when he pulls open the drawer of his bedside table and turns back to me, he has two glossy brochures in his hand.
‘Don’t fly off the handle,’ he says, snuggling closer.
‘Just—consider it, okay?’
‘Okay,’ I say, raising myself up on one elbow and taking a moment to eye-fuck my boyfriend.
He may be the handsomest guy in the world, but that’s not what’s holding my attention.
Not when he’s looking at me with so much love and adoration and tenderness.
I tear my eyes away from his bare chest with difficulty and look down at the two brochures.
One is from a fancy estate agent.
Its cover depicts house porn of epic proportions: a huge white Georgian mansion whose perfectly symmetrical front is festooned with wisteria.
It is bloody stunning.
Winsford House, Ham, Richmond, the caption reads.
The other is a school brochure bearing a photo of happy children outside a spectacular redbrick Queen Anne building with verdant lawns in the foreground.
Chancery School, Richmond.
I glance back at Brendan, who clears his throat.
‘My brother was telling me they’re thinking of buying in Richmond at some point now that they’re engaged, and, um, I thought it might be a nice place for us to settle, too.
I’d like Tabs to have a proper garden to run around in, now that she’s actually allowed to exert herself, and Chancery School is supposed to have incredible extra-curricular activities.’
At some point, the billionaire playboy who hired me for on-tap office sex has become a family man.
I hit him with a secret, supremely unwell child and he didn’t even flinch.
He’s been there for Tabs and me every single day since he jetted out to North Carolina to support us, and now he’s planning houses and schools and futures around what will best suit her wellbeing.
‘Hey,’ he says, looking alarmed.
‘What’s up?’
I shake my head and sniff.
‘Nothing. Just being a bit silly. I still can’t quite get used to you making every single one of my dreams come true.’
‘Well you’d better believe it.’
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me in closer.
‘I need you to get on board with this, love, because I’m never letting you go.
This is it. You guys have endured more shit than anyone else I know, but that’s all over now.
This is going to be the phase that makes all the other crap feel worthwhile.’
I nod tearfully, twisting my head so I can bury my face in the crook of his neck.
This is my favourite way to be: in Brendan’s arms, his immense physicality the most effective reminder that I’ve found a safe place to land.
That I don’t have to do it all by myself anymore.
That I have a true partner in every sense I’ve ever wished for and many, many more.
I’m still working for him, mainly because we hate being apart from each other all day.
There are a lot of happy endings for both of us in the office.
‘I love you,’ I say, because it’s easier than launching into a tearful monologue about the million ways in which he’s touched my and Tabby’s lives.
‘I love you. So much.’ He pauses.
‘So… we can go visit the school any time we want, and we could look around the house this weekend. Or we can look at any houses you choose. It’s just that this one jumped out at me.
I could see it fitting us.’
I sniff back my tears.
‘Why’s that?’
‘There’s a hollow at the end of the garden,’ he says slowly, ‘that I think would make the most amazing spot for an adventure playground. Also, there’s a pool.
From what I can see online, the main drawing room has a big south-facing bay window where you could play the piano.
And the basement is vast. It could easily accommodate a recording studio for you, if you wanted one.’
He pauses. ‘If we got our skates on, we could be in before Christmas and then Tabs could start at Chancery in January.’
‘That all sounds amazing, honey,’ I tell him.
‘I can’t wait to see it.’
‘There’s also a smaller investment property nearby that I was thinking of buying,’ he says casually.
‘It’s a good price, but it’s a lot of upkeep.
Huge kitchen garden.
I thought your folks might like to live in it for me, and I could pay them to maintain it.’
I stare at him, my eyes filling.
He doesn’t fool me for a second.
He’s been plotting for a way to get my parents’ futures secured without making it feel like charity, and he’s all too aware of how much they love growing fruit and vegetables.
‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘You don’t need to say anything.’
He slides a hand around the back of my neck and tucks my head under his chin.
‘Your parents gave up a lot to make sure that you and Tabs found your way to me in one piece, and now it’s payback time.
That’s all there is to it.’
‘Thank you,’ I whisper, snuggling in more closely against his chest.
Brendan Sullivan may adore his construction firm and his LEGO room, but it seems building a fairytale life for the two women he loves is his new favourite passion project.
And he’s good at it.
He’s really, really good at it.
brENDAN
The water is crystal clear in Jost Van Dyck’s White Bay, and the sand is white.
We moved into our new home a fortnight before Christmas, just in time to get a tree up, but I’ve whisked the girls off to the British Virgin Islands for a week post-Christmas.
The trip is an opportunity to let the builders crack on with constructing Marlowe’s new recording studio while we play with our newest toy, the Lagoon SEVENTY 8 catamaran, Tabitha .
With everything that the summer held for us, I didn’t get a chance to play with her in the Med, so I had her taken out here to the BVIs.
When we met, Marlowe was working so hard to survive that she had forgotten how to play and I was playing so hard that I had forgotten how to feel very much at all.
Now we’re in a position of extreme privilege.
We have love, health, wealth, and even a touch of wisdom, and we’re damn well going to make the most of it.
So at a time of year when we’re lucky to get eight hours of daylight each day, the sensible thing seemed to give the bleak midwinter a huge Fuck You and jet off to somewhere where life is warmer and gentler.
Tabby’s entire cardio-pulmonary system is operating perfectly these days, which is a polite way of saying she is fucking inexhaustible.
She’s already signed up for after-school clubs at her new school every day of the week and extra dance and trampoline classes on Saturdays.
I thought I was in good shape, but my stamina is nowhere compared to that of a little girl with nine years of enforced downtime to make up for.
But it’s cool. We’ve found a rhythm.
We’ve been pottering around the BVIs for five days now.
Tabs and I spend our mornings having diving and swimming competitions in the clear turquoise waters while Marlowe sunbathes on the cushioned tanning deck in various skimpy bikinis.
It’s a great eye-fucking setup for both of us.
In the afternoons, we dock and explore the various islands, while our evenings are spent at beach bars—like last night at the iconic Soggy Dollar Bar—or eating quietly on the boat together.
Tabby’s sleeping like a dream out here.
No fucking wonder—she never takes a breather during the day.
The slide I had added onto the catamaran is up there with the best purchases I’ve made.
She must have done a hundred slides into the sea this morning.
But it’s all good, because when she’s asleep, I can make love to my girlfriend as I gaze at the stars and thank them over and over for the incredible richness of my life.
This evening is just another blissfully chilled-out night as far as my girls are concerned.
But for me, it’s a big one.
We’re sitting out on the deck in our swimwear.
We’ll shower later, but we’ve promised Tabs a sunset swim before we get cleaned up.
Tabby’s wearing a sweet little custard-yellow skirt over her swimsuit, while her beautiful mother has wrapped a sarong we bought on one of the islands around herself and tied it behind her neck.
Her blonde hair cascades in salty waves over shoulders that are bare and sun-kissed.
She’s never looked so stunning as she does here, carefree and tanned and utterly at ease.
Despite the fact that we’re enjoying the view from a multi-million-pound catamaran, we’re doing a pretty good job of demonstrating that the best things in life are free.
Light beers—Orangina for Tabs—and crisps on deck as we watch the sky grow prettily pink is all we need to take the edge off as our chef prepares fish tacos below deck.
It’s a regular family moment, and it feels real enough for me to reach under the cushioned bench for the small bag I stashed earlier.
I adjust my baseball cap self-consciously.
‘I wanted to talk to you both about something.’
They both look at me.
Marlowe brushes her fingertips over the sand that’s dried on my shoulder.
‘What is it, honey?’
‘Well, I wanted to say’—I clear my throat—‘how much it means to me to have you both here. We’ve made a lot of memories already, and I can’t wait to make more.
And it feels like we’re a proper…
family, you know? Especially now that we’re all living together properly.’
Tabby beams at me.
I wink at her before catching Marlowe’s eye.
Thrilled as she seems with our new home, I know that giving up her independence to move her and her daughter in with me wasn’t a straightforward decision for her.
I’m painfully conscious that they’ve let me into their little family unit, that I’m a third wheel among two people with a stronger bond than any I’ve seen.
That’s why it was important for us all to move into a new home: neutral territory.
Still, I’m the one bankrolling it, and I know that makes Marlowe nervous.
Her old place might have been a shithole, but she paid the rent.
She called the shots.
Now she’s taking a huge chance by putting her and Tabby’s eggs in my basket, and I know, much as she trusts me, that it leaves her feeling vulnerable.
Marlowe has been on the receiving end of far too much shitty circumstance over the past decade, whether that’s come in the form of dickhead exes or Tabby’s heart condition or the endless flaws in our healthcare system that make those dependent on it feel so vulnerable, and it ends here.
This is where I tie everything up with a great, big legal bow so that she and Tabby are protected for evermore in an ironclad way.
Only my plan is to cloak it in more romantic terms than that.
And I’ll probably wait until I’ve given her at least one orgasm before I come clean about the enormous trust fund I’ve set up for Tabby.
It’s only prudent. Athena would try to give the whole lot away otherwise.
I put the fancy carrier bag on the table, and Marlowe arches an elegant eyebrow at the Cartier logo.
God, I wasn’t expecting to feel this nervous, but I guess splaying your heart wide open and slapping it onto the table in front of the two people whose love and acceptance you want most in the world is always going to feel raw.
‘Like I said, we’re a family.’
I reach into the bag with a shaky hand and extract one small box and then a slightly larger one.
‘But I’d like us to make it official, so that everyone understands that we belong to each other.’
It’s still a weird-as-fuck concept in the best possible way: we belong to each other.
These two have accepted me to be their person.
My shakiness worsens as I open the smaller box and hold it out to Marlowe.
‘Which is why I’m asking you to marry me,’ I say, meeting her stunned gaze.
In this light, her brown eyes are endless dark pools in which I’d happily drown.
‘I want to be with you until the day I die, love. I don’t ever, ever want to be apart from you.’
Tabby squeals, and Marlowe and I both laugh, as if we can use the tension-breaker.
Marlowe opens her mouth but I hold up my free hand to cut her off.
‘Hang on. Not quite done yet. You ladies need to confer before you give me your answers.’
I put the jewellery box down on the table in front of her so she can ogle the enormous fucking diamond Athena helped me choose on Bond Street before Christmas.
To say the woman extorted me that day is an understatement, but I’m hoping it’ll help me close the deal.
Besides, I’m the one who’ll get to enjoy the sight of my diamond sparkling on Marlowe’s long, slender finger for the rest of my life.
‘I think he’s got one for you, too,’ Marlowe tells Tabs, giving her a gentle nudge.
‘I do.’ I open the larger box and hold it out to Tabs.
In it is nestled a gold charm bracelet that I hope she will take as a sign of my commitment to her.
‘Tabitha Lily Winters, will you do me the honour of becoming my child in the eyes of the law?’ At her blank look, I add, ‘Will you let me adopt you, sunshine, so that I can be your legal dad?’
Marlowe, whose eyes did nothing more than grow moist during her own proposal, promptly bursts into tears.
As usual, she’s happier for her daughter than she is for herself, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I may have been bowled over by her looks initially, but it’s her huge, selfless heart I’ve fallen in love with.
And honestly? I’m kind of relieved she’s happy.
Asking a kid to let you adopt them without consulting their actual parent first could easily take a bloke from Grand Gesture territory straight into Dick Move terrain.
Tabs clamps her hand over her mouth, her eyes enormous, as she looks from me to her bracelet and back to me again.
‘Mummy, can we?’ she whispers through her fingers.
The innocent readiness of her answer fucking crucifies me, and I tear up like a great big idiot.
Marlowe gathers her up in a huge side hug while she hooks her free hand around my neck, tugging me towards her.
The sea may be pink and sparkling and wondrous, but it has nothing on the sparkle in those brown eyes of hers.
‘Is that a yes?’ I whisper against her mouth before she kisses me hard.
She pulls away. ‘Yes. Yes, yes, yes, a million times yes.’
I nod, screwing up my face against the godawful stinging in my sinuses.
‘Good, love. That’s very, very good.’
I want to kiss her again, want to dive in and never come up for air.
But I have one more answer to collect before I do.
‘What about you, sunshine? Will you let me adopt you, too?’
‘Yes please,’ she whispers with a toothy grin before her face falls in confusion.
‘But shouldn’t we adopt you ?
‘Cause there’s two of us and only one of you.’
‘Get over here,’ I growl, and she springs up from her seat to come around the table to my lap.
She’s light as a feather.
I sit her across my legs and kiss her on the temple before tugging Marlowe more tightly into my side.
‘That’s a fair point, actually,’ Marlowe says, attempting to wipe her cheeks with the back of her hand.
‘He could be Daddy Winters,’ Tabby suggests.
Marlowe instantly starts coughing.
‘Oh my God, Tabs.’
‘I don’t know,’ I say, leaning into her so I can brush my lips over her hair.
‘Daddy Winters. It has a nice ring to it.’ I lower my mouth to her ear.
‘Especially in the bedroom.’
She swats my thigh.
‘Stop it.’
‘Let’s get this jewellery on you ladies before a seagull comes and spirits it away,’ I suggest.
‘Good idea.’ Marlowe reaches over and pulls both boxes towards us.
‘Anyway, Tabs, Bren can’t be a Winters.
He literally has a whole company named after him.’
‘I’m not so sure,’ I say as I slide the symbol of my lifelong commitment onto my fiancée’s finger.
‘It could be a good call, actually. Maybe people will finally forget I’m a nepo baby.’
THE END
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