Chapter 8
Ash
Istood in the threshold to Silver’s dorm room, still not really sure how we’d ended up there.
The kiss in the cafe was nice, but going back to his room so quickly definitely wasn’t on my bingo card.
Was he expecting me to put out? Did I want to?
And, most importantly, did I take a shower this morning?
“Just make yourself comfortable,” Silver said, gesturing to the large private room he had. “That beanbag is especially soft.”
I nodded and moved toward the beanbag, trying to appear more relaxed than I felt.
My heart was still racing from that kiss at the café, and now here I was, in Silver Erestolal’s private dorm room.
The same Silver whose reputation preceded him across campus.
The same Silver who had just given me my first kiss.
“You want something to drink?” he asked, opening an enchanted mini-fridge tucked beneath his desk. “I’ve got water, some energy drinks, and... this weird purple juice my mother sends me.”
“Water’s fine,” I managed, lowering myself onto the beanbag. It was indeed incredibly soft, enveloping me like a cloud. My shadows seemed to like it too, stretching out lazily across the fabric. Why hadn’t they gone away yet?
Silver handed me a bottle of water, his fingers brushing against mine. That same electric jolt shot through me, and I nearly dropped the bottle. Gods, what was that? It happened every single time we touched.
“So,” he said, settling down on the beanbag beside me. The furniture shifted under his weight, and I found myself sliding toward him, our thighs pressing together. “That was your first kiss, huh?”
I felt heat creep up my neck. “Y-Yeah.”
He smiled, but there was no mockery in it. “Was it any good?”
“It was perfect,” I admitted, unable to meet his gaze. “Better than I imagined.”
Silver’s hand found mine, our fingers intertwining. “I’m glad. And for the record, it was pretty damn good for me too.”
I finally looked up at him, searching those silver eyes for any hint of deception. But all I found was warmth and something else I couldn’t quite identify. It was a kind of intensity that made my stomach flip.
“I still don’t understand why you’re interested in me,” I said quietly. “And don’t say it’s because I’m cute again.”
Silver laughed, the sound rich and genuine.
“I already told you the truth. What would you like me to say?” He leaned a little closer, the scent of his rich cologne rolling off him in waves.
“Would you like me to tell you that I’m using you?
That I’m just looking for a fleshlight for the night?
Would that finally satiate your curiosity? ”
“I mean…” I shook my head. “I don’t know. That’s what I’m expecting you to say I guess.”
Silver turned, looking at me with those intense eyes that were the same color as his name. “Did someone hurt you or something? Why are you so convinced I want to just use you?”
I looked down at our hands, still intertwined.
The question hung in the air between us, heavy and unexpected.
Had someone hurt me? The answer was both yes and no.
Not in the way he probably meant, but in a thousand small cuts over years.
There were whispers when I walked by in my normal human high school, the dates that never materialized, the mockery when I tried to put myself out there.
I was always the outcast. Too strange for the human world and not powerful enough for the supernatural one. I was always caught in the middle.
“Not exactly,” I said finally. “Just a lifetime of being invisible. Or worse, being visible for all the wrong reasons.”
Silver’s thumb traced small circles on the back of my hand, sending tingles up my arm. “You’re not invisible to me.”
“Yeah, I’m getting that,” I admitted, a small smile tugging at my lips despite my anxiety. “It’s just hard to believe.”
“Why? Because I’m popular? Or because I’m the football captain?” He shifted on the beanbag, causing me to slide even closer to him. Our hips were now pressed together, and I could feel the heat radiating from his body. “That doesn’t mean anything, Ash. It’s all surface stuff.”
“Says the guy with the perfect face and body,” I countered, then immediately wished I could take it back. Way to sound bitter and pathetic, Ash.
But Silver just laughed, the sound warming something inside me. “Perfect? Far from it. You should see me when I wake up in the morning. I look like I’ve been dragged through the Twilight Realm backwards.”
The casual mention of his homeland made me curious again. “What’s it really like there? The Twilight Realm, I mean. The books in the library are pretty vague.”
Silver’s expression shifted slightly, a shadow passing across his features.
“It’s... complicated. Beautiful but rigid.
Imagine living in a perpetual sunset, where the colors never quite fade to night or brighten to day.
” He paused, his silver eyes distant. “Everything there has a place, a purpose. Including me.”
“And you don’t want that purpose?” I guessed, sensing there was more to his story than he was letting on.
He sighed, his fingers tightening around mine. “It’s not that simple. I just wanted some time to figure out who I am outside of what’s expected of me.”
I nodded, understanding that feeling all too well. “That’s why I came to Widdershins. To be something more than just the weird kid from the disgraced family.”
“Exactly,” he said, his eyes lighting up with recognition. “You get it.”
Our gazes locked, and something passed between us—a silent acknowledgment that despite our different backgrounds, we shared this fundamental struggle. The need to define ourselves on our own terms.
The beanbag shifted again as Silver turned toward me, his free hand coming up to brush a strand of hair from my forehead. My breath caught in my throat at the gentle touch, and my shadows responded, darkening and swirling lazily around us.
“Your shadows really like me,” he murmured. “Or at least they seem to.”
“They do,” I admitted, unable to deny what was happening around us.
My shadows never behaved this way with anyone else.
They were normally shy, reluctant to show themselves unless I deliberately called them.
But around Silver, they seemed almost...
eager. “I can’t control them when I’m around you. They just do whatever they want.”
Silver’s eyes followed the dancing shadows with fascination. “Is that normal?”
“Nothing about this is normal,” I said, gesturing between us. “The shadows, the electricity when we touch, me sitting in your dorm room after getting my first kiss, none of it.”
He laughed softly. “I like that it’s not normal. Normal is overrated.”
His face was so close to mine now that I could count his eyelashes, white as snow against his purple skin. My gaze dropped to his lips, remembering how they felt against mine in the café. I wanted to feel that again, to recapture that perfect moment.
As if reading my thoughts, Silver leaned forward, closing the distance between us.
This time, I was ready. My eyes fluttered closed as our lips met, and that same electric current shot through me, stronger than before.
My shadows responded immediately, darkening the room and wrapping around us like a cocoon.
His hand moved to cup my face, his thumb stroking my cheek as he deepened the kiss. I felt his tongue brush against my lips, requesting entry, and I opened to him, unsure but eager. The taste of him was sweet with a hint of spice, and it made my head spin.
I heard a soft thud and realized my water bottle had fallen from my hand, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. All that mattered was Silver’s mouth on mine, his hand now sliding from my face to the back of my neck, pulling me closer.
My own hands, which had been frozen at my sides, finally found the courage to move. I reached up, tentatively touching his chest, feeling the solid muscle beneath his shirt. He made a sound of approval against my lips, encouraging me to explore further.
The beanbag shifted beneath us as Silver adjusted his position, pulling me half onto his lap.
I could feel something hard and throbbing pressing against my hip, and the realization that I had affected him this way sent a surge of heat through my body.
My shadows pulsed in response, and somewhere in the room, something fell over with a crash.
Silver broke the kiss, both of us breathing heavily. “Your shadows,” he murmured, looking around at the now significantly darkened room. “They’re getting... enthusiastic.”
“Sorry,” I gasped, trying to rein them in. “They do that when I get... excited. At least they didn’t teleport me to the other side of campus again.”
A slow, predatory smile spread across Silver’s face. “Excited, huh?” His hand slid down my back, coming to rest at my waist. “I like knowing I have that effect on you.”
I was about to respond when I noticed something on the floor by his desk. My shadows had knocked over an ornate mirror. It was unharmed, but it looked dark. Well, it was for a moment and then a face appeared, followed by a voice.
“Young master?” the man asked. “You called?”
“Shit,” Silver gasped, pushing himself off the beanbag and to the other side of the room in a flash. He picked up the mirror, a panicked look on his face. “Hey Caldwell,” he said quickly. “Sorry. I knocked the mirror over by accident. False alarm.”
“No harm done, young master,” the man nodded. “Please let me know if I can be of service.”
“Will do, Caldwell. Thank you.”
Silver quickly drew his hand over the mirror’s surface, and it went dark. Then he placed it face down in a drawer and pushed it shut.
“Sorry about that,” he said, looking a bit flustered. “The mirror must’ve activated when it tipped over.”
“It’s fine,” I replied, trying my damnedest not to stare at the thick bulge running down his right leg. “Who was that?”
“Uh… the butler. Caldwell. He’s been around my whole life.”
There was a long pause as we just stared at one another. Silver was on edge, though I couldn’t really place why. All I knew was that he didn’t really like to talk about home.
“So,” I said, trying to ease the tension that had settled between us. “You have a magic mirror that connects you to your butler. That’s pretty fancy.”
“It’s nothing special,” Silver replied, making his way back to the beanbag. As he sat down, I slid toward him again, practically landing in his lap. Neither of us moved away. “Just a way to keep in touch with home.”
“Are you planning on going back there once you graduate?” I asked, curiosity getting the better of me. “You said you had a lot of expectations there, but you’re here. So I wasn’t sure if you were gonna stick around in the mortal realm or do something else?”
“I…” Silver paused, taking a deep breath. “I have to go back once the school year is over. I don’t have a choice, and I don’t think I’ll be allowed to leave.”
“Oh.” I felt my heart sink. At the same time my shadows stopped their ceaseless fidgeting and began to recede. “So this… whatever it is between us…” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the question, so I chose a new one instead. “Are humans allowed in the Twilight Realm?”
Silver shook his head. “No. Both our magic and our realm is sacred to us. That’s why there’s not much in the library about our culture.”
The truth of the situation was finally starting to sink in. This attraction between us, whatever it was, could only be temporary. At the end of the year Silver was going home. And I wasn’t allowed to follow. I’d been foolish to allow myself to hope otherwise. But then again, I barely knew the guy.
So why then did it already hurt so much to know that he would leave?
“You know what…” I said, pushing myself up from the beanbag. “I think I need to get back. There’s some homework I need to do. And I have another cleaning shift tonight.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind if you work here—”
“I’m sure,” I replied, cutting him off. “I… uh… I work better alone.”
The smallest glance showed me the hurt on his face and immediately I wished I hadn’t looked.
I wanted to kick myself. I hadn’t meant to make Silver feel bad.
Maybe I was overthinking this whole thing.
We’d just met, shared a couple of kisses.
It wasn’t like we were planning our future together or getting married.
“I’m sorry,” Silver said, rising from the beanbag with a defeated air about him. “I didn’t mean to make things awkward.”
“You didn’t,” I said, heading for the door. “I just… I should’ve known better.”
I was out the door before he could respond, the heavy wood creating a barrier between us.
My stomach twisted as I headed for the stairs at a jog.
I needed to get away from Silver, to get back to my own world where I belonged.
I wasn’t allowed in the Twilight Realm and that’s where Silver was going after graduation.
Permanently. And the last thing I wanted was to get attached to a man that I had no chance of a future with.
I felt like such an idiot for even hoping things could be different for once. But I was Ash Vale, and life was never easy for me.