Chapter 13 Ash
Ash
Istill couldn’t get used to the bracers.
They’d been clamped onto my forearms for almost three days now and they were getting itchy.
Not to mention, wearing them in the shower, like I was now, was just weird.
It was like wearing socks on a wet floor.
It just wasn’t right. And it kinda made my skin crawl.
Living in Silver’s room was even weirder.
Of course, it was my room now too, but that didn’t stop me from feeling like an intruder in his space.
It’s not like we were total strangers by any means.
Still, I always felt like I was in the way, so I did everything I could to remain busy.
I went to the library a lot, took my time cleaning the locker rooms, and tried to generally stay out of his way.
Hell, I’d even forced myself to stay glued to my side of the bed these past three days even though he slept only a few inches away.
I wanted to touch him, to kiss him again. I really did. But I was terrified. What if my magic overwhelmed the bracers? What if I punched another hole in the wards around the academy? What if I hurt Silver or teleported us into a volcano? I wasn’t sure I could live with the guilt.
I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, drying myself off as best I could while the bracers remained stubbornly damp. They never seemed to fully dry, always maintaining this uncomfortable moisture that made me want to claw at my skin.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, wrapped in nothing but my towel, I found Silver sitting on the bed, shirtless, flipping through one of his books. His purple skin seemed to glow in the lamplight, and I had to force myself to look away before I did something stupid.
“Hey,” he said, glancing up at me. Those silver eyes tracked across my chest, and I felt that familiar heat bloom between us even with the bracers dampening my magic.
“Hey,” I replied, moving quickly to my dresser to grab clean clothes.
“You don’t have to hide in the bathroom to change, you know,” Silver said, his voice carrying a hint of amusement. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.”
My face burned. “I’m not hiding.”
“You’ve been avoiding me for three days,” he pointed out, setting his book aside. “You leave before I wake up, come back after I’m asleep, and you practically build a pillow wall between us in bed.”
I pulled on my boxers under the towel, keeping my back to him. “I’m just trying to be careful. The last thing we need is another incident.”
“Ash.” The way he said my name made me pause. “Look at me.”
I reluctantly turned around, still clutching the towel. Silver had moved to the edge of the bed, his expression serious.
“I miss you,” he said simply. The words seemed to unmake all the walls I’d built over the past few days. “And you’re right here in the same room.”
My chest tightened. “I miss you too. But I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
“Of losing control again,” I admitted. “Of hurting you. Of making everything worse than it already is.”
Silver stood, crossing the small space between us in two strides. He stopped just short of touching me, and I could feel the heat radiating off his body.
“Can I touch you?” he asked softly.
I hesitated, my eyes dropping to the bracers on my wrists. “What if—”
“The bracers are designed to contain your magic during emotional surges,” he reminded me. “Professor Blackwood said so herself. They’re not going to fail just because we touch.”
I wanted to believe him. Gods, I wanted it so badly. But the memory of that angry security guard, of the panic on everyone’s faces… it all kept flashing through my mind.
“I don’t want to risk it,” I whispered.
Silver’s jaw tightened, and for a moment I thought he might push the issue. Instead, he took a step back, giving me space.
“Okay,” he said, though I could hear the disappointment in his voice.
“But we can’t live like this forever, Ash.
We’re going to have to figure this out eventually.
Whether this is a mate bond or a true love spell, it’s going to run its course one way or another.
You and I both know we can’t resist it forever.
” He dropped his gaze for a moment. “It… It’s tearing me apart already. ”
“Silver…”
“Sorry,” he added quickly. “I wasn’t trying to guilt trip you. I just…” He shook his head. “Just forget I said that. It wasn’t fair.”
“No, it’s okay,” I said, dropping the towel and pulling on my jeans. “You’re right. I have been avoiding you.”
I sat down on my side of the bed, keeping a careful distance between us. The mattress dipped slightly under my weight, and I felt Silver shift beside me.
“I just don’t know what to do,” I admitted, staring down at the bracers. “Everything feels so out of control. My magic, this bond thing, living here with you... It’s all happening so fast and I don’t know how to handle it.”
“We don’t have to handle it all at once,” Silver said gently. “We can take it slow. One step at a time.”
I laughed bitterly. “Taking it slow? We already blew through that option when I teleported us through the wards.”
“Fair point,” he conceded. “But that doesn’t mean we can’t try now.”
I finally looked at him, really looked at him. His silver eyes held such warmth, such genuine concern that it made my chest ache. How had I gotten so lucky and so cursed at the same time?
“What if they can’t find a way to break it?” I asked quietly. “What if we’re stuck like this forever and you have to give up everything to be with me?”
Silver was quiet for a moment, his expression thoughtful. “Then I guess we’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.”
“I’m being serious…” I protested.
“It’s the only answer I have right now,” he replied with a shrug. “Look, I know this is scary. Trust me, I’m terrified too. But running from each other isn’t going to make it better.”
I knew he was right. Hiding in the library, avoiding him at every turn, building a pillow fortress between us at night… none of it was solving anything. It was just making us both miserable.
“Okay,” I said finally, taking a deep breath. “No more avoiding. But we need to be careful. I can’t risk another incident.”
Silver’s face lit up with a smile that made my stomach flip. “I’ll do my best.”
He shifted on the bed, moving closer but still not touching me. The space between us felt charged, electric with possibility and restraint.
“Can we at least try something small?” he asked. “Just to see if the bracers work?”
I swallowed hard, my heart hammering in my chest. “Like what?”
“Like this,” he said, slowly extending his hand palm up between us. “Just... hold my hand. That’s it. Nothing more.”
I stared at his offered hand, at the purple skin and elegant fingers. It seemed like such a simple thing, but it felt monumental. My shadows, even dampened by the bracers, stirred restlessly around my ankles, eager to reach for him.
“Ash,” Silver said softly. “I promise, if anything feels wrong, we’ll stop immediately. I just… I feel like if I don’t touch you, I’m going to go insane.”
I nodded slowly. “I feel the same way.”
“Then take my hand.”
I reached out slowly, my hand trembling slightly as it moved toward his. The bracers felt heavier than ever, like they were weighing down my entire arm. My shadows coiled tighter around my ankles, as if bracing themselves for what was about to happen.
The moment our palms touched, that familiar electric current shot through me. It was stronger than I expected, even with the bracers dampening my magic. The sensation raced up my arm, spreading across my chest and making my breath catch.
Silver’s fingers curled around mine, warm and solid. I watched his face carefully, searching for any sign of discomfort or alarm. Instead, his eyes fluttered closed and he let out a soft sigh that sounded almost like relief.
“Okay?” he asked, opening his eyes to meet mine.
“Yeah,” I breathed. “The bracers are holding.”
My shadows stirred more actively now, reaching toward him but not breaking free the way they had before. The obsidian bands around my wrists grew warm, containing the surge of magic that wanted to respond to Silver’s touch.
“This feels good,” Silver murmured, his thumb tracing small circles on the back of my hand. “I’ve been dying to touch you again.”
I couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at my lips. “Me too.”
We sat there for a moment, just holding hands like teenagers on a first date. It should have felt silly, but instead it felt profound. Like we were rebuilding something that had been broken.
“Can I try something else?” Silver asked, his voice low and careful.
My heart rate picked up. “What?”
“Just...” He shifted closer on the bed, closing some of the distance between us. “Can I put my arm around you? Nothing more than that.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Silver slowly lifted his free arm and draped it around my shoulders, pulling me gently against his side. The contact sent another surge of electricity through me, but the bracers held firm, containing my magic even as my shadows danced eagerly around us.
I let myself relax into him, resting my head against his shoulder. He was warm and solid, and being this close to him felt like coming home. My entire body seemed to settle in a way it hadn’t in days.
“This is nice,” I admitted quietly.
“Yeah,” Silver agreed, his fingers playing with the hair at the nape of my neck. “This is what I’ve been missing.”
We stayed like that for a while, neither of us speaking. I could hear his heartbeat where my ear pressed against his chest, steady and strong. My own heart gradually slowed to match its rhythm.
“Ash,” Silver said eventually. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“When you cast that spell... when you were twelve... what did you imagine your true love would be like?”
I thought back to that night in my grandmother’s attic, to the desperate loneliness that had driven me to attempt something so far beyond my abilities.
“I didn’t really have a specific image,” I admitted. “I just... I wanted someone who would see me. Really see me, not just the weird kid from the cursed family. Someone who wouldn’t care that my magic was strange or that my parents were ashamed of me.”
Silver’s arm tightened around my shoulders. “That’s all you wished for? Just to be seen?”
“Pretty much.” I felt my cheeks heat at how pathetic that sounded. “I told you it was stupid. I was just a lonely kid who wanted someone to care.”
“It’s not stupid,” Silver said firmly. “And for what it’s worth, I do see you. All of you. The brilliant shadow witch who can break through ancient wards, the guy who gets embarrassed when I compliment him, the person who’s trying so hard to do the right thing even when it terrifies him.”
My throat tightened with emotion. “Silver...”
“I mean it,” he continued. “Bond or no bond, spell or no spell, I see you, Ash. And I like what I see. You’re cute as fuck in all the best ways.”
I turned my head to look up at him, finding those silver eyes already gazing down at me. The intensity in them made my breath catch all over again.
“Can I kiss you?” he asked softly. “Just once. I promise I’ll stop if anything feels wrong.”
Every rational part of my brain screamed that this was a terrible idea. We should be keeping our distance, not testing the limits of the bracers. But my heart… my traitorous heart, wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against mine again.
“Yes,” I whispered.
Silver leaned down slowly, giving me plenty of time to change my mind. But I didn’t want to. Even if it was reckless, even if it was dangerous, I needed this. Needed him.
His lips met mine gently at first, a soft press that sent sparks dancing across my skin. The bracers grew warmer on my wrists as my magic surged in response, but they held. My shadows swirled around us both, caressing but not overwhelming, contained but present.
Silver’s hand came up to cup my face, his thumb stroking my cheek as he deepened the kiss. I melted into him, my free hand clutching at his bare shoulder. The electric current between us intensified, but it felt controlled somehow, channeled through the kiss rather than exploding outward.
When we finally broke apart, both breathing heavily, I realized we were still in Silver’s room. No unexpected teleportation, no holes in the wards. Just the two of us, tangled together on his bed, my magic safely contained.
“The bracers actually work,” I said, slightly amazed.
“Told you,” Silver grinned, looking entirely too pleased with himself. “Professor Blackwood knows what she’s doing.”
I laughed, feeling lighter than I had in days. “Okay, you were right. Happy?”
“Never been happier,” he smiled back. “And glad we can make out now like horny teenagers. All we need now is some wine coolers and a stolen pack of cigarettes and we’ll be the biggest rebels on campus.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at that. I wiped tears from my eyes, still giggling at the mental image Silver had painted. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Maybe,” he conceded, pulling me closer. “But I made you laugh.”
My smile faded as reality crept back in. “Silver, we still don’t know what we’re going to do about... everything. Your family, my spell, the fact that I’m human and you’re—”
“Stop,” he interrupted gently, pressing a finger to my lips. “We agreed to take this one step at a time, remember? Right now, this step is working. Let’s not borrow trouble from tomorrow.”
I wanted to argue, to point out that tomorrow was coming whether we were ready or not. But the warmth of his body against mine, the steady rhythm of his heartbeat beneath my ear… it all made me want to believe him. Made me want to pretend, just for a little while, that we could have this.
“Okay,” I whispered. “One step at a time.”
Silver shifted, settling us both more comfortably on the bed. I found myself lying with my head on his chest, his arm wrapped securely around me. My shadows had calmed considerably, no longer straining against the bracers but instead pooling contentedly around us both.
“You should come to the football game tomorrow night,” Silver murmured, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on my shoulder. “I’d love to have you cheering me on in the stands.”
“You would?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, squeezing me tight. “You’re my guy. Having you there pretty much guarantees we’ll win.”
“Fine,” I said, looking up at him. “But you better give me a jersey to wear or something if we’re gonna really flesh out this teenage dream we’re living.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “You got yourself a deal, baby.”