Chapter 23 Ash
Ash
Ihad no idea where I was. All around me were high, lonely mountains jutting out of a foggy forest landscape.
I sat atop one, my feet dangling over the edge as the sounds of the jungle below echoed.
There wasn’t another person in sight, just scraggly trees clinging to the rocks.
But from the few animals I’d seen and heard, I knew I was no longer in North America.
But none of that mattered. Not anymore. Not when the man I loved more than anything in the world had turned out to be a liar and a prince of all things.
I was so angry. Mostly at myself. I’d told myself over the years that trusting people and letting them in was just a recipe for disaster.
My family was cursed by the paranormal world, destroyed for crimes that my great-grandparents had committed.
I spent a lifetime being an outcast, watching every day as both me and my parents paid the toll for what others had done.
It seemed to be our lot in life to suffer.
And here I was, falling for Silver and thinking that our bad luck had finally run out. That I was, at last, going to know what happiness felt like despite my strange magic and even worse circumstances. How could I be so stupid as to allow myself to hope?
But all that was over now. What little dreams I clung to turned to ashes the moment the truth came out.
Silver was the prince of the Twilight Realm and already betrothed.
Whatever bond I thought I had with him was a lie.
Eventually he’d go home, get married, and never return to the mortal realm.
And I would never be allowed to follow. That was just the way of it.
So why did my heart feel like it was being torn from my chest piece by piece?
I let out a shaky breath, watching it mist in the thin mountain air.
The cold didn’t bother me though. My shadows wrapped around my shoulders like a living cloak, keeping the chill at bay.
They were the only comfort I had left, and even they felt restless, agitated by the storm of emotions churning inside me.
My student ID was still in my pocket. I could feel it there, a small rectangle of plastic that Professor Blackwood had said she could track if I shadow walked too far by mistake.
Part of me wanted to throw it off the mountain, to disappear completely where no one could ever find me.
But another part—the part that was still stupidly, desperately in love with Silver—couldn’t bring myself to do it.
What if he came looking for me?
I laughed bitterly at my own pathetic hope. Why would he come? He had a kingdom to inherit, a bride waiting for him, a whole life planned out that didn’t include some cursed shadow witch from nowhere. I was just a distraction, a last taste of freedom before he went back to his gilded cage.
Except... that wasn’t fair, was it?
I pressed the heels of my hands against my eyes, trying to stop the fresh wave of tears.
Silver had told me he loved me. Multiple times.
And when he said it, I’d felt it through whatever bond connected us—that silver cord I’d seen in the revelation circle, pulsing with genuine emotion. He hadn’t been lying about that.
But he’d lied about everything else.
A bird cawed somewhere below me, and I wondered idly what kind it was.
Some exotic species I’d never seen before, probably.
I should care about where I was, should worry about finding food or shelter or figuring out how to get back.
But I couldn’t muster the energy. The hollow ache in my chest consumed everything else.
I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.
The shadows thickened around me, responding to my misery.
Without the silver cuffs, my magic flowed freely, unrestrained.
It felt good in a way, like finally being able to breathe after holding it underwater.
But it also felt dangerous, wild, like a flood that could sweep everything away if I wasn’t careful.
“You’re an idiot, Ash,” I muttered to myself. “A complete and total fucking idiot.”
I should have known better. Should have seen the signs. Silver was too perfect, too good to be true. Popular, athletic, charming, and gorgeous. Guys like that didn’t fall for guys like me unless there was a catch. And the catch was that he was literal royalty who could never actually be with me.
My chest tightened, and I felt that pull again—the mate bond, tugging insistently like it was trying to drag me back to him.
It had been getting stronger with each passing minute, the distance between us making it ache in a way that was almost physical.
I gritted my teeth against it, refusing to give in.
I wouldn’t go back. Couldn’t. Even if every fiber of my being screamed at me to shadow walk straight to him, to throw myself into his arms and pretend none of this mattered.
Because it did matter. The lying mattered.
The arranged marriage mattered. The fact that he’d known all along we could never have a future together and still let me fall for him… That mattered most of all.
Another pull from the bond, stronger this time.
I gasped, doubling over as pain lanced through my chest. It felt like someone had reached inside my ribcage and was trying to yank my heart out through my sternum.
My shadows exploded outward, darkening the entire mountaintop until I couldn’t see anything but blackness.
“Stop,” I whispered, though I didn’t know if I was talking to the bond, to Silver, or to myself. “Just stop.”
But it didn’t stop. If anything, it got worse. The ache spread from my chest to my limbs, making my fingers tingle and my legs feel weak. I recognized this feeling from what Confiance had said. The bond was trying to force me back to Silver, trying to close the distance I’d put between us.
I gritted my teeth and pushed back against it, pouring my will into staying exactly where I was. My shadows responded, anchoring me to the mountain like roots digging deep into stone. The bond pulled harder, and I pulled back, caught in a tug-of-war with my own magic.
This was what my life would be now, wasn’t it? Fighting against something that was supposed to be natural and beautiful, all because the person on the other end had lied to me. All because I’d been stupid enough to trust someone again.
“Fuck you, Silver,” I said to the empty air, my voice cracking. “Fuck you for making me believe in this. Fuck you for making me think I could have something good for once in my miserable life.”
The words felt hollow even as I said them. Because underneath the anger and betrayal, I still loved him. Gods help me, I still loved him so much it physically hurt. And that made everything so much worse.
I don’t know how long I sat there, locked in battle with the mate bond, watching the sun arc across the unfamiliar sky.
Hours, probably. Long enough that my stomach started to growl and my throat felt dry.
But I didn’t move. Couldn’t move. If I gave in even a little, if I let the bond pull me back, I’d end up right where I started—in love with someone I could never have.
The sun was starting to set, painting the mountains in shades of orange and pink, when I felt something shift.
The bond suddenly yanked so hard I nearly toppled forward off the cliff.
I scrambled backward, my shadows flaring defensively, and that’s when I felt it—Silver’s emotions bleeding through the connection.
Panic. Terror. Desperation. Then silence.
My anger faltered. Whatever was happening on his end of the bond, it was bad and then it was just… gone. Now it was my turn to panic. Feeling Silver’s presence had become my new normal. But feeling his absence… that sent a streak of terror through me that I’d never experienced before.
I tried to reach through the bond, to feel anything from Silver’s side, but there was nothing.
It was like shouting into a void and hearing only my own echo bounce back.
The absence was worse than any pain, worse than the anger or betrayal.
At least when I could feel him, I knew he was alive and safe.
“No, no, no.” I pressed my hand against my chest, searching desperately for that familiar warmth of his presence. “Don’t do this. Don’t you dare do this to me.”
But there was nothing. The silver cord that had always connected us felt severed, cut clean through.
My shadows went wild, erupting from my body in waves of pure darkness that cascaded down the mountainside.
Trees bent and groaned under the weight of my magic, and somewhere far below, I heard rocks tumbling into the valley.
What if something had happened to him? What if the bond breaking had hurt him the way Confiance said it would? What if he was lying somewhere, alone and in pain, and I was too far away to help?
The thought sent a spike of terror through me that overrode every other emotion. I didn’t care that he’d lied. I didn’t care about the arranged marriage or the fact that he was a prince or any of it. All I cared about was that Silver might be hurt, and I’d abandoned him.
I stood on shaking legs, my shadows still churning around me like a storm. I needed to go back. Had to go back. Even if it meant facing him again, facing all the lies and the impossible situation we were in. I couldn’t just sit here while he might be in danger.
I reached for my shadows, preparing to step through them, when I felt something else—a presence behind me. I spun around, and my breath caught in my throat.
A woman stood at the edge of my shadow storm, completely unbothered by the darkness that would have sent anyone else running.
She wore the same white cloak I’d seen on Confiance, her hood pushed back to reveal sharp features and piercing green eyes.
But this wasn’t the Elder from before. This woman was taller, her presence somehow more commanding, more ancient.
“Ash Vale,” she said, her voice carrying easily over the wind. “I’ve been looking for you.”
My shadows immediately formed a defensive barrier between us. “Who are you?”
“My name is Confiance Eveninglight,” she replied, and my confusion must have shown on my face because she added, “The real Confiance. The one you met at the academy was my apprentice, using my name for the examination. A necessary deception to avoid... complications.”
I didn’t lower my shadows. “What do you want?”
Her expression softened slightly. “To help you. And to tell you that Silver has been taken back to the Twilight Realm by his father.”
My heart plummeted. “Taken? What do you mean taken?”
“King Erestolal appeared at the academy moments after you left. He’s planning to sever the bond between you, no matter the cost.”
I opened my mouth to retort, but she held up a hand to silence me.
“He’s been made aware of the dangers of severing your connection. And, in an attempt to spare his son’s life, has given the Elder Council three days to find and bring you to the Twilight Realm.”
“Why?” I asked. “What does he need me for?”
“He believes,” she replied, her gaze faltering for just a moment. “That if you sever the bond willingly, it would spare his son and his kingdom.”
“Would it?”
She stared for a long moment, choosing her words carefully. “There is a chance it would work, albeit a small one. But there is a cost.”
I just stood there, waiting for her to continue.
“It would most certainly kill you in the process.”
I stared at her, the words not quite sinking in at first. “Kill me,” I repeated flatly.
“Yes.” Confiance didn’t look away, didn’t soften the blow. “A willing severance would redirect the magical backlash entirely into you. Silver would survive, possibly even unscathed. The Twilight Realm would be safe. But you...” She trailed off, the implication clear.
My shadows went still around me, the storm suddenly calm. It was funny, really. I’d spent the last few hours wallowing in self-pity, convinced my life was over, anyway. And now here was someone offering me an actual end, wrapped up in the pretty bow of self-sacrifice.
“And if I don’t?” I asked quietly.
“Then King Erestolal will attempt to sever the bond by force in three days’ time.
The magical explosion could kill you both, possibly destroy a significant portion of the Twilight Realm in the process.
” She paused. “He’s also threatened to permanently sever all connections between the mortal realm and the Twilight Realm.
No travel, no trade, no communication. Complete isolation. ”
I turned back toward the sunset, watching the last rays of light paint the mountains in shades of blood and gold. Silver would die. That was what she was really saying. If I did nothing, if I stayed here on this mountain nursing my wounded pride, Silver would die.
The anger that had been burning in my chest suddenly felt cold and distant. What did it matter that he’d lied? What did any of it matter if he was dead?
“I’ll do it,” I said without hesitation. “I’ll sever the bond to save him.” I turned back toward the landscape, staring out over the mountains jutting up from the world below. “Just answer me one question.”
“Of course, Mr. Vale.”
“Where am I?”
I could hear the smile in Confiance’s voice as she answered. “You are standing upon the Floating Mountains in the Henan Province of China.”
I felt tears gather at the corners of my eyes. “It’s beautiful,” I nodded. “I… I wish I would’ve learned to control this power sooner. Maybe… Maybe I could’ve seen more.”
A hand came to rest on my shoulder and Confiance stepped into my periphery. “Don’t give up just yet, Mr. Vale. Where there is love, there is always hope.”