Chapter Ten Isla
A s Caterina and I entered the elevator, I fought to keep my nerves in check. The last thing I’d ever expected was for her to ask my opinion of her idea, least of all for her to ask for my help. Considering she was my boss’s sister-in-law, I wanted her to like me.
Oh who was I kidding? She was the sister-in-law of the man I was confused about having growing feelings for. That fact made me pinch my lips together so I wouldn’t ramble and make a fool out of myself.
As the door closed, she turned to me with a smile. “Quinn is quite a man, isn’t he?”
“Um, well, I haven’t known him long, but yes, he is.”
“I’m sure at first, he can come across as standoffish.”
“A little,” I lied.
“Mostly like a brute.”
An anxious laugh tumbled from my lips. “He’s more like a beast. At least that’s what some of the girls call him. I like to think of him like the Beast in Beauty and the Beast . You know, he’s all grumpy and wants to be alone, but when it really comes down to it, he can be very kind and considerate.”
Oh no. My nerves had overtaken me and run away with my tongue. With wide-eyed horror, I stared at Caterina. When she burst out laughing, I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing.
The elevator doors popped open, and I reluctantly followed Caterina into the hallway. “How have I never seen it before? He is totally the Beast.”
Shaking my head, I argued, “No, no. I shouldn’t have said that.”
She waved a hand at me. “I called him a brute.”
“But you’re his family. I’m just a dancer who works at his club, and I insulted my boss.”
“Oh I'd wager you’re a lot more to him than that.”
When my boots froze to the hardwood floors, Caterina continued walking on ahead. After realizing I was no longer at her side, she whirled around. “Isla?”
I shook my head to try and shake me out of my stupor. “Um, sorry. You just shocked me.”
“Because I stated the obvious?”
“No, I don’t think that it is.”
She tilted her head at me. “Are you usually in the habit of bringing your bosses homemade soup?”
I chewed my lip. “Well, no. But at the same time, I haven’t ever had a boss get shot.”
Caterina grinned. “I’d wager you hadn’t.”
“I really just wanted to do something nice for him.”
“Because you like him, don’t you?”
At my embarrassingly high-pitched giggle, I inwardly groaned. I barely knew Caterina. How could I possibly tell her how I truly felt? I could barely admit my feelings to myself, least of all a stranger.
“He’s my boss. Of course, I’m going to say I like him,” I diplomatically replied.
With an exasperated look, Caterina argued, “That’s not what I meant.”
“I know.”
“From what I saw back there, he has it bad for you.”
My eyes bulged. “No, he doesn’t.”
“Oh honey, trust me, I know the Kavanaugh Caveman look when I see it.”
“Caveman look?”
She grinned. “Whenever my husband gets all possessive over me, I tell him he’s a caveman. I’d never seen it in any of his brothers until today.”
I furrowed my brows at her. “I just thought that was his usual beast side.”
“Oh, it was much more than that. He made it very evident to Dare that you were his .”
A nervous laugh bubbled from my lips. “But he hasn’t said anything like that to me.”
“Just because he may not be able to vocalize his feelings, I have eyes, and I can tell how he’s feeling.” With a grin, she said, “Just like I’d say, you have feelings for him, too.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my boots. I’d never expected Caterina to put me through an inquisition about what I may or may not be feeling for Quinn. Considering how confused I was about what was going on between us, I couldn’t possibly answer her.
“Obviously, I have some feelings for him since I took the time to make him soup.” When Caterina opened her mouth to argue, I rambled on. “And yes, he’s ridiculously handsome and sexy. Any woman with a pair of eyes would think that. Even though he can be beastly, he really does have a caring and compassionate side.”
“I’m glad you can see that,” Caterina said softly.
“Then there’s also the fact he’s pretty much a sex god considering he gave me my first male induced orgasm, and we weren’t even having sex.”
After my admission, I clamped my hand over my mouth. At Caterina’s wide mouth and eyes, I whispered, “Oh God. I can’t believe I just told you that.”
When I shook my head, she grabbed my hands and pulled them from my face. “You can’t just lower a bomb like that and then clam up!”
I furiously shook my head while heat rushed to my cheeks. “I was trying to say and do all the right things for you to like me since you’re Quinn’s sister-in-law.”
She grinned. “I think that means you really like him if you want me to like you.”
“Fine. You’re right. I like him.” With a shake of my head, I replied, “But now I’ve said the worst possible thing.”
“How is a handsome man making you come bad?” she teased.
“Because it makes me sound like a…ho.” And then the realization hit me of what Caterina had actually said. My mouth dropped open. “Did you seriously just ask me what was bad about Quinn making me come? I thought I’d heard from the other dancers that you were a nun.”
With a laugh, Caterina asked, “Are you judging me?”
Horror filled me with offending her. “No, no, no! I keep saying the wrong things. The last thing I would ever want to do was judge you.”
Caterina patted my arm. “It’s okay, Isla. It’s my fault for making you nervous and putting you on edge about Quinn.”
“I think I was just surprised that you would say something like that. You know, with you being holy and all.”
With a chuckle, Caterina argued, “I was only a novice, and the operative word is was . I’m certainly not abstaining anymore,” Caterina argued.
“Well, I’m the fallen priest’s daughter who let her boss get her off during her audition.”
Wide-eyed, Caterina asked, “ That’s when it happened?”
With a shriek, I once again covered my face. “Could this get any worse?”
At the feel of Caterina’s hand on my arm, I peeked through my fingers. “Come with me.”
“Okay,” I whispered.
After Caterina poked her head into an empty room, she ushered me inside. “I wasn’t a novice because I was pious–I did it to escape an arranged marriage my father was planning.”
I frowned. “There’s seriously still arranged marriages?” At Caterina’s nod, I replied, “But this is the modern age.”
“The mafia world is still very old-school. It doesn’t matter if you’re Italian or Bratva or Irish, like Quinn.”
“I had no idea the mafia was stuck in the dark ages.”
“But they aren’t always bad. My marriage to Callum was arranged.”
“It was?” I gasped.
She nodded. “Despite only knowing him three days before we were married, it was the best thing that could ever happen to me.”
An uneasy feeling crept along my spine. “Will Quinn have an arranged marriage?”
Caterina’s smile faded. “It’s a possibility.”
“Oh,” I murmured, as disappointment filled me. It shouldn’t have bothered me so much. It wasn’t like Quinn and I were in a relationship that I’d just found out couldn’t go anywhere. He was just the man I’d thought I’d discovered a connection with only to have it severed before it really even started.
But it still stung.
“Isla–” Caterina began.
I shook my head. “It’s okay. I get it. Quinn’s an honorable guy, so of course, he would do what his family asked of him.”
“There are other ways Quinn can serve his family besides an arranged marriage. It doesn’t mean there can’t be anything between the two of you.”
Caterina’s words did little to ease the ache in my chest. “Seriously. It’s okay.”
She took my hands in hers. “There’s no one in the world who deserves happiness more than Quinn. If you’re harboring even the smallest feelings for him, I’ll do whatever I can within my power to see the two of you together.”
Hope surged in my chest. “You’d really do that?”
“I will.”
“But why? I mean, you don’t know me. I could be a serial killer or something.”
The corners of Caterina’s lips quirked up. “That fear really doesn’t work on me considering the family I grew up in and who I’m married to.”
My mouth gaped open. “You know, I’m not really a serial killer, right? I’m just a nerdy grad student who needed money for school and to take care of my family,” I protested.
“Of course, I do, Isla.”
“Phew, I’m glad to hear that.”
Taking my hand in hers, she said, “The reason I’m able to see you is because of two halves of my past. Being in the mafia world and being a novice means I can see through people. I might not know you well, but what I know of you so far is good. There’s also the fact that Quinn doesn’t open himself up to anyone, especially to those outside the family. If he’s reacting to you, that tells me a lot.”
With my mind swirling with out-of-control emotions, there was one question I feared to ask, but knew that I should. “My feelings aside: do I want to have him react to me?”
It had been the question that had plagued my mind since our first encounter. Quinn wasn’t the safe or easy choice. He wasn’t the lab partner whose greatest worry was what job he would land post grad school.
From what little I knew of him, he was a man with physical and emotional baggage.
From his own lips, Quinn had admitted he hurt men. He belonged to an underworld I knew little about, and what I did was completely frightening.
Despite my feelings, I had to be honest with myself if he was someone I should allow to pursue me. It wasn’t just me and my safety I had to consider. It was Brooke and Henry’s as well.
As I stared intently into Caterina’s dark eyes, I held my breath for her answer. “Are you worried because of the world Quinn belongs to?” At my nod, she replied, “Then I would say better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”
I blinked at her. “That’s your answer?”
She laughed. “Well, I wanted you to at least think about it for a minute before I explained myself.”
“My head is spinning too much for any deep-seated words of wisdom. Just give it to me straight.”
Caterina nibbled on her lip. “Considering the way I grew up, it’s hard for me to answer in a way that relates to you, not to mention I wasn’t really given a choice with Callum.”
Groaning, I rubbed my temples. “Please, just give me a yes or no.”
“If I were in your shoes, I would see Quinn for what he truly is: a man who loves with his entire body and soul. A protector who would risk everything to keep you safe. A man who places you as his sun where his entire world revolves around you.”
“That was a lot better than just a simple yes.”
“You’re welcome.” With a wink, she added, “I also need to add if he’s anything like his brother, a very dedicated and giving lover.”
I laughed. “I can handle that for sure.”
Caterina tilted her head at me. “Besides the hot sex, do you feel better about the rest?”
“I do,” I replied.
And it was the truth. Like she said, Quinn was the devil I knew. With other men, the skeletons remained in the closet to be discovered. Deep down, I knew Quinn would never do anything to hurt me.
What remained was only the small fear of what his world might do to me.