Chapter Two
Ian
Ian knocked on the door in front of him and barely had to wait a minute before it opened to reveal Brad, his best friend’s mate.
“Hey, gorgeous,” Brad came in and reached up on his tiptoes to press a fleeting kiss to Ian’s cheek.
He scented drywall, dust, and paint before he moved to the side.
“Lionel, Ian’s here,” Brad called over his shoulder, heading out through the open door, giving Ian an apologetic smile.
“Sorry, gotta rush, an emergency with plumbing.”
He waved a hand and then disappeared into the darkness.
“Come in, I’m in the kitchen,” Lionel called out.
Door shut, he followed the sounds and discovered Lionel standing at the kitchen sink, wearing low-slung joggers and an old college T-shirt, doing dishes. It was all very domestic. Ian felt a pang in his chest at the lack in his own life.
Lionel aimed a bright, radiant smile at him, nodding towards the refrigerator. “Grab a beer, and if you wouldn’t mind, top off my wine while you’re at it.”
His friend had never looked happier, and thankfully, he’d forgiven Ian for not going with him to the Bucket List Buddies’ second event, a ghost tour.
He had met Brad, his mate, there. Ian went to the first event with Hector, where he met his mate, Morty.
At first, Ian had thought it was co-incidence, now he wasn’t so sure.
It was why he was here. He’d heard something, and he wanted to talk it over with someone before he drove himself nuts.
As Hector was on babysitting duties tonight, he’d rung Lionel.
He topped off Lionel’s wine and, with his beer, went to the kitchen table and sat down. It had been weeks since they’d last caught up, partly because Ian mostly felt like a third wheel around his friends.
Lionel grabbed a towel to dry his hands, while Ian picked at the label on the bottle unsure how to start the conversation. As friends for decades, they’d never had awkward moments.
What’s wrong with me?
Just fess up to why we’re here, and you’ll feel better.
Ian wasn’t so sure his honey badger was right. How did one fess up about shit he’d kept to himself forever?
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Lionel stated as Ian lounged back on the chair, clutching his beer, staring. Lionel sipped at his wine, watching Ian closely over the rim. “Did I do something to piss you off?”
There was the concern, and Ian felt the stab of guilt.
Ian shook his head and bit his tongue to prevent a sigh escaping.
He loved his friends, Lionel and Hector, but since they’d found their mates, things had become more difficult to co-ordinate their time to hang out, and his family liked to take up his free time.
He missed his friends. Except that wasn’t the only reason, was it?
Damn.
Lionel moved and eased himself down next to Ian and nudged his kneecap. “Seriously, what gives. I can tell something is off. It’s really fucking unusual for you to disappear for weeks with no contact.”
Argh, fuck.
Ian went to shrug his powerful shoulders, but his button-down tightened around his upper arms, making it more of a jerk, so he brought the bottle to his lips and took a sip to wet his dry mouth, considering his reply.
“Just busy, family, you know, and with my sister and the baby, Mom is just nagging me to find an ‘omega’ I don’t want.
” There, he’d said it aloud for the first time.
It felt good to say it when it was all that had been on his mind for months.
It was the last thing Ian wanted, it didn’t matter how he said it, his parents weren’t appearing to listen to him, which wasn’t new.
He loved them, and they loved him. They had no issue with him being gay, none.
Except, he couldn’t gauge how they’d feel with his sexual interests being as far removed from an omega as it could get.
He was more submissive in the bedroom area of things, the exact opposite of his animal’s nature.
He wanted to be the one being taken care of.
It wasn’t so much a secret, just he’d chosen not to share this with his closest friends.
He didn’t want what they had, an omega; he wanted someone who could handle him in bed—or any room really—and make him tremble when they manhandled him.
There were very few omegas he’d met—or found doing internet searches—that were big enough to do what he enjoyed.
He’d tried, but no one could give him quite what he needed like an alpha.
Only those interested in another alpha were few and far between in these parts.
Lionel chuckled, but a frown appeared as if it registered what Ian had said.
“I bet me finding Brad and Hector with Morty, it hasn’t helped.
Just… you sound convinced there about not wanting an omega.
” He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking like he was trying to figure out what was going on.
“You did say you wanted to find your mate, though.”
He wasn’t wrong.
“I did—do want to find my mate.” He really hoped the Fates understood that it wasn’t an omega he was after.
Mom had been pushing more than normal with Hector and Lionel settling down, and she had taken it upon herself to introduce Ian to any and all single omegas in the neighborhood.
He might have moved into his own house fifteen miles from Mom, but it didn’t matter.
She was persistent about it. Wanting him to be settled and happy with a brood of his own.
His problem was saying no to her. He really didn’t have the heart to tell her to stop. It was a real conundrum, and why he was here at Lionel’s, desperate to talk.
“What are you saying? Lay it out for me, because I’m missing something.” Lionel sat forward, watching him closely.
Ian drank deep from the bottle. I can do this. He met Lionel’s gaze and took a deep breath, released it, and confessed. “I’m not into omegas. They don’t do it for me.”
A pink hue coated Lionel’s skin as his eyes widened. “You like betas?” Ian shook his head. “Alphas?”
“Yes.” It was said quietly, yet it felt like he’d shouted it the way Lionel jerked back in his seat, making the contents in his wine glass he was holding splash over the wood.
“Wow. How come I’m only just finding out about this now?” Lionel arched one brow.
Ian knew that look. It was the one that said he was irked that Ian hadn’t said something before. “How does one tell his two best ‘alpha’ friends that he’s not into omegas? In fact, he’s into men like them.”
“You know we’d never have judged you, right?” Lionel reached out and gripped the back of Ian’s neck, squeezing and holding him still.
Ian’s breath hitched at the move, even though he had no interest in Lionel.
It had just been a very long time since he’d had anyone lay hands on him in a move such as this.
“I do on some level. Only on another level I was… embarrassed.” He blushed, the heat coursing up his throat as if to prove his point.
Lionel pressed his forehead to Ian’s. “Man, I’m fucking sorry you felt like that.”
The sincerity caused a large lump to form in the back of Ian’s throat as he nodded. “It’s cool.” It was now because it was his own insecurities, not Lionel’s or Hector’s, that had kept him quiet.
“Does Hector know?”
“No.”
Lionel tugged back and squeezed his neck once again before dropping his hand to lift his wine and offer a salute. “Yay, I get bragging rights to you coming out to me,” he chuckled.
“You’re being daft.” Ian rolled his eyes, but the butterflies in his stomach died down.
“No, you were for thinking we’d judge you.” He grinned. “So, this actually works out, you spilling your guts to me. And your timing is perfect.”
A frown marred Ian’s brow. “What worked out, and why perfect timing for what?”
“The next Bucket List Buddies event.” Lionel rose, went to the countertop, picked up an envelope, and came back and dropped it in front of Ian.
“As you couldn’t go to the ghost tour with me, I thought I’d get you a ticket to the next one.
Hot air balloons were never gonna be your thing, but it seems my thoughts of you trying out being a ranch hand for the day with all those alphas on horseback.
” His grin was pure devilment. “Will be right up your alley. You can thank me when you find yourself a hot alpha.”
Ian shook his head at his friend, despite the way his pulse became a rocket in his veins. “I’m really busy with family—”
“Tough. I’ve paid good money for this, and it’s a day on the weekend, which should be your free time. Your family can cope without you for a weekend.”
Ian felt his resolve slip. Alphas on horseback, a shiver of desire ran through him. “What weekend is it?”
Lionel grinned knowingly. “This Saturday.”
Ian groaned. “Seriously, that’s two days away. I promised Mom I’d babysit this weekend so my sister could have some free time.”
“You are a total sucker, man,” Lionel said in all seriousness. “When are you gonna just do something for you?”
Ian pondered that question all the way home, and was still thinking about it as he lay in his queen-sized bed, alone—lonely. He held up the ticket to the event, reading the information.
He placed it down and reached for the phone he’d put on charge and opened a search tab.
He typed in the name of the ranch and then clicked on the link.
The place was beautiful. The lush pastures full of gorgeous horses were a backdrop to snow-tipped mountains.
He clicked on the next picture to find a man sitting astride a beautiful horse, his Stetson perched back to reveal a craggy face.
Alluring, but the width of his thighs and arms said he wasn’t all that big.
Ian wanted a man bigger than him. He wanted a man who was outdoors fit. Bulging muscles that weren’t for show, that could be used to do all the delicious things he thought about.
Was that too much to ask for?
Up to now, it had been.
Would he be lucky like his friends?
He sent a text to his mom and sister crying off for Saturday, his mind made up, he turned off the sound alert and put the phone down. He wasn’t ready for the barrage that would weaken his resolve.
He wiggled and got comfy, sighing contentedly, switching off the light and staring into the darkness. It wasn’t selfish to do something for himself.
It wasn’t.
Maybe if he kept saying it, he’d believe it.