19. Makari
I leaned forward in the leather chair to pull the ledger from my bag. I opened it and adjusted my eyes to read the cramped handwriting like I was reading Braille.
"What were you hiding, big bro?" I muttered.
I flipped a few pages, trying to figure out where to start. It was like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle in the dark. I flipped another page, and my heart fluttered when I noticed Jahlil's name next to Darian's.
"I'll be damned. Y'all thought you were slick, huh?"
My mind raced faster than a crackhead at the buffet as I connected dots. Everywhere that a line was drawn, another one was next to Jahlil's. For the first time, I felt like I might actually get some answers since Malakai died.
I kept digging. How deep did the damn rabbit hole go? I wondered. The ledger was spilling secrets, and I was soaking them up. My thoughts were interrupted by raised voices from outside the office. Dutch's baritone cut through with anger.
I hated the way my being here was affecting him and the brotherhood they once shared. Still, Dutch played some role in all of this. I just didn't know how or why yet. Yet, on the other hand, Dutch was different. He saw through my bull shit with those pretty ass eyes.
I wanted to know what it would be like to actually be with someone in a relationship, not just with someone who felt like my protector. Dutch was in the MC world the same world that got Malakai killed.
As I sat there conflicted with my thoughts and this ledger, my phone buzzed. I unlocked the screen and saw a message from Jahlil.
Jahlil:
You can't play both sides. I promise Dutch and that whole club burns if you cross me.
"Shit," I hissed, dropping my phone on the desk. My vision blurred when I realized I was crying.
Jahlil's threats usually didn't scare me, but this felt different. I've managed to get targets on everyone's back. I glanced at the door, trying to figure out what to do. One thing was for sure. I didn't want to drag Dutch and the MC any deeper into my mess.
I stood and paced the floor and caught my reflection in the window. I barely recognized the woman staring back at me. I was cornered and scared. I knew what I needed to do. The solution was clear as mud. My heart dropped at the thought of walking away from Dutch again. We'd been through so much, yet there was so much still left unsaid between us. Still, his safety and the club's safety had to come first.
I gathered my things, picked up the ledger, and stuffed it in my bag. It was the key to everything and my best shot at taking down Jahlil. As I zipped my bag, I heard Dutch's deep and authoritative voice, as he argued with someone.
I was sad as I grabbed my phone and requested a ride-share. I then dialed Tiya's number.
"Makari, what's up, girl?" her voice was laced with concern.
"Hey, T., I'm coming home."
"Home? Are you okay? Where's Dutch?"
I swallowed hard. "It's just time, you know, but I'm fine."
There was a pause on the other end. "There's something you're not telling me, Makari." Tiya knew me all too well.
"I'll explain everything when I get there. Can I stay in your spare room until I get my place cleaned up?"
"Of course, baby girl, I always have a place for you, but?—"
"Yeah," I asked, cutting her off.
"I don't know what's going on but be careful."
I laughed. "It's way too late for that."
I ended the call, and the weight of what I was about to do had me gripping the edge of the desk to keep from falling.
"Leaving without saying goodbye?" Dutch's voice startled me, and I whipped around to face him.
"Dutch I?—"
He held up a hand. "Save it. You're running again.”
I squared my shoulders. "I'm protecting you, all of you. I'm not running."
Dutch scoffed. "Who's going to protect you?"
"I can't stay," I softly stated. I looked into his gorgeous eyes, and memories flooded me… late nights, stolen kisses, even arguments.
Dutch didn't move. "You know where to find me."
I nodded, unable to speak over the lump in my throat. As I brushed by him, he caught my hand, squeezing before letting go.
At his office door, I paused and looked back at the life I was leaving behind. "Stay safe, Dutch," I whispered. He smiled.
I walked into the club and headed to the front door when my phone buzzed in my hand. I looked down at Tiya's text.
Tiya:
I'll put on a kettle.
A laugh escaped me, knowing Tiya knew exactly what I needed. I pushed through the front door and the parking lot was half empty. I wanted so badly to grab his keys, peel out of there on his bike, and never look back.
When my ride-share vehicle pulled up, I hopped inside. I knew the club would be safer without me, and I reminded myself, "This is how I protect them."