Chapter 15
Hawk
“ S o, what you’re saying is that he’s like what? Mom’s Halloween candy?” Gemma asked.
She’d invaded my room in the attic for whatever reason, but then again she really didn’t need much invitation.
I groaned. “That’s… disturbing.”
She snickered and stretched out on my couch. “No, think about it. None of us ever wanted Mom’s portion of the Halloween candy until she said we weren’t allowed to take any.”
I rolled over on the bed, pushed my face into my pillow, and yelled into it.
Gemma laughed. “At least you’re not dramatic about it.”
She wasn’t wrong. Our parents had always made sure we had enough Halloween candy. We’d traded for all the ones we preferred with our siblings, and there’d been plenty for everyone.
But then Mom made sure to say not to touch the little pile of Twix on the kitchen counter and suddenly everyone was eyeing the candy like it was the best thing ever.
We didn’t steal one other’s candy. Oh no. The brave ones tried to nick Mom’s stash.
I mumbled into the pillow, then lifted my head so Gemma could hear me. “To be fair, it’s the whole forbidden fruit thing, probably.”
“Carter or the candy?” She smirked.
“The candy. I….” I huffed with frustration and rolled onto my back. “It’s like….”
“If it’s about you working for him, you can immediately stop thinking like that. Crew’s practically married to Mal and their relationship was a whole boss/employee one.”
“Not really.”
She sighed. “Technically. But see, there’s nuance to everything.”
“Loopholes, you mean?”
Snorting, she pushed to her feet. “Look, all I’m saying is that everyone likes him now. He seems like a good man. Will giving into whatever is brewing between you going to jeopardize the rest of Ramona’s training?”
No. It wouldn’t. Even if we did something about it and things went wrong. I would never take it out on Ramona and neither would Carter. He’d still know I was one of the best in what I did.
Seeing him would be more awkward, but it wasn’t as if I hadn’t seen Richard at various horse-related events since everything went down.
Not that I expected anything with Carter to be or end up like what I’d had with Richard.
The thought of that man still made my skin crawl and a weird, shame filled anger bubble up in my body.
“Go away,” I told my sister, then watched as she stole my bag of gummy bears off the coffee table and cackled as she skipped to the door.
I’d let her think she’d gotten away with something. I wasn’t big on sweet treats anyway.
I was still sprawled on my bed when there was another knock on my door.
“Yeah?”
Bodhi opened it a crack. “Hey, you got a minute?”
“Yeah, of course.” I sat up against the headboard. “What’s up?”
He went to the couch and perched on the edge of the cushion in a way that told me he wasn’t feeling great about something.
Bodhi was a Marine. Ever since he joined, he’d been this…
this rock. It had been most of his personality, being a Marine.
He’d been unflappable, had a strong sense of justice, and his work ethic had been insane. Nothing slowed him down.
The man that had come home to us and told us he’d separated from the Marine Corps was different.
Something was wrong, but he wasn’t ready to talk about it.
I wondered if he would ever be, because for some reason, he’d torched the career he’d wanted more than anything in his life since he was a teenager.
Well, maybe not torched, but the separation was final.
“Uh, so I get that things are weird with you and Carter right now,” he started, scratching his elbow, a sort of uneasy tell of his.
“Kind of, but we’re friends.” It was the truth, after all.
“He’s a money guy, right?” At my nod, Bodhi continued, “I’ve been doing the math on my business idea, and I think I need someone who actually knows their shit to read it through.” He frowned, then looked at me hesitantly. “Do you think Carter would take a look for me?”
I squinted at him, feeling a little bit confused. “Why are you asking me and not him?”
He opened his mouth, then closed it and looked away from me. For a moment, he stared at an old poster of the movie The African Queen .
“You know I don’t get relationships,” he started, then went quiet again, choosing his words carefully. “If he was just a guy who had some business with the ranch, I would’ve called him first, no question. But you have this thing, and….”
Ah.
“You think that if whatever he and I might have going on comes crashing down, that it’s going to be too weird for you to have any sort of a working relationship with him?”
Bodhi nodded slowly, then frowned. “Yeah, but also, I wouldn’t want anyone that hurt you connected to the ranch in any capacity. Even as a mentor.”
Goddamn this sweet, tough brother of mine.
“Well he hasn’t hurt me. And even if he did, I would still have a working relationship with him, too, at least until Ramona’s training is done.”
“Are you sure you’d be okay with it?” Bodhi looked contemplative.
“Bodhi, I can admit I got hurt really fucking bad once. But that’s the risk people take with relationships.
I know you don’t feel things the same way most of us do when it comes to romance but trust me when I tell you I’d be fine.
The important thing is that your business gets off the ground with the best support possible.
Carter knows his shit, okay? So give him a call or catch him when he comes over next time. ”
Bodhi exhaled and rolled his shoulders in a motion that distinctly reminded me of a horse shaking off tension. “Okay. I can do that.”
He got to his feet and somewhat uncharacteristically walked over to the bed, then bent to give me a hug. I squeezed him back and didn’t ask what this was about, because I had a feeling he wouldn’t explain.
“Good night,” he said when he let go.
“Night, Bo.”
He smiled at the old nickname, nodded, and left the room.
The next handful of days became hectic with training.
A client of mine was moving to another state and wanted his gelding, Snoopy, ready to travel in two weeks’ time.
To pull that off, I had to shuffle things around a little, and all my concentration went to work.
I couldn’t rush the horse, but I could up the training sessions to try and maximize the amount we got done before the owner came to pick him up.
I worked from early in the morning until late in the night, training horses and writing down details and forging new connections and doing all the things I needed to do to keep things running.
While I did have a lot of work to do on any given day and kept busy, having a strict deadline was different.
That rarely happened, and it tended to throw me off a little bit, thus exhaustion.
Gemma took on some tasks for me as usual to balance things out, but I just didn’t have the energy to do anything other than work.
Then one evening, I was coming down the steps from my office, and Carter was standing there, leaning on a wall.
“Oh, hey,” I said stupidly, running on fumes.
I stumbled on the last step, and with a speed that I didn’t know he possessed, Carter was there to catch me.
“Easy, baby,” he murmured as he waited for me to get my feet to work again.
For a moment, I let myself take comfort in his arms. I swayed into him, leaning against his chest as my hands went inside his jacket.
He squeezed me closer, saying nothing, but he didn’t need to. I felt him in my bones, somehow.
“I know you said you’re really busy, but you’re dead on your feet, Hawk.” There was only concern in his tone, so I didn’t get annoyed.
“It’s not for much longer.” Then I realized the time and pulled back to look at him. “Why are you here so late? Did something happen?” A brief flash of panic flared up behind all the exhaustion.
“I helped out at the stock barn for a couple of hours, and then I ran across Russ and we got to talking. He needed help with fixing a window at his cabin so I volunteered. Well, maybe he needed help less than he wanted company.” He smiled in a way that told me he’d had a good time with Russ, and that made me feel all sorts of things.
“Then we ended up having coffee and chatting for a while. Lost track of time. Thought I’d come check on you since he said you looked tired at lunch. ”
I had looked tired then. Hell, if I hadn’t thought my mom would call me or show up herself to deliver lunch, I wouldn’t have gone at all to save the energy. That was probably exactly why it was better that I’d gone anyway.
“I just need a good night’s sleep.”
His handsome face got serious. “You haven’t been sleeping well?”
“No, it’s fine. Happens sometimes. It’s not insomnia, it’s just a quality of sleep thing.” I shrugged. I’d had it on and off since puberty.
“Okay, well I also have a question for you. Actually two. Or three.” He looked a bit hesitant suddenly, which was odd.
“Shoot.”
“My assistant, Marielle and her wife Elisa are coming to visit for a couple of weeks starting Friday. They’re staying in my guestroom for most of their vacation.”
“Okay…?” My tired brain tried to keep up with the information.
“I was wondering if it would be okay to bring them here to see Ramona?” he asked hesitantly, almost like he expected me to say no for some reason.
“Of course that’s okay. We can even have a trail ride if they want, we have plenty of safe horses.”
He brightened. “Really? That would be great.” His smile took my breath away a little. “I don’t know how good they’ll be on horseback or if they’re even interested, but if they are, that’d be wonderful.”
“Of course. She’s the reason you chose me to train Ramona.”
Which also made her the reason we met each other. But I didn’t need to say that out loud, probably.
Carter’s gaze flicked from my eyes to my lips and back, and that tug within me was back with a vengeance.
Then he seemed to remember our rules and cleared his throat.
“What’s the other thing?” I asked.
“What?”
“You said there were two questions.”