Chapter 23
Hawk
E xorcising the demons from my office hadn’t ever felt necessary. But as I sat in my office chair a couple of days after I’d had makeup sex there with Carter, I realized I didn’t feel the… whatever spirit of the past it had been.
It hadn’t felt oppressive, per se. But sometimes I’d remembered, and it had made me want to leave the room for a while. But now? I was sitting in my chair and getting hard instead. Which… okay, it was an improvement but also a bit unnecessary and distracting.
It was the day Marielle and Elisa were leaving, and I’d said goodbye to them last night when I’d gone to Carter’s for dinner.
They were both great, and Marielle had relaxed significantly since they’d arrived.
Elisa had joked that Carter’s attempt at assimilation by working vacation was doing the trick.
I’d been thinking for a couple of days, and wondered if I should text Carter about my thoughts. Instead, that evening when I was done with work, I went to my attic room, looked around, and packed a couple of bags.
When I went downstairs with them, Mom noticed me and smiled, her eyes filling with tears.
“Are you moving in with Carter?” she asked as I went to hug her because you just didn’t not hug your mom when she choked up.
“Not really. I’m taking some things there so I can go straight to the barn in the mornings when I stay over at his place.” I squeezed her firmly and kissed her cheek. “I don’t think we’ll be moving in together anytime soon. We’re still taking things slow.”
“And it’s not like his place is far,” Dad commented as he stepped into the kitchen. “So either way, your commute to work isn’t much longer.”
“Yes, that,” I agreed and gave him a hug, too.
I left them to their pre-dinner routines and headed to Briarwood.
Carter had been busy with spending the final day with Marielle and Elisa, so he hadn’t come over.
As I parked my truck in front of his house and grabbed my bags, I was a tiny bit nervous. What if he didn’t like that I brought some of my belongings over?
That thought vanished as soon as I heard his voice from deeper in the house when I stepped in.
“Baby? Can you put the coffee on while I finish this email?”
It was so fucking domestic, I just dropped my bags by the kitchen door and called back, “Sure!”
I could use a cup and then we could figure out dinner. As I took in the kitchen, I realized there was something in the oven. Maybe dinner was taken care of already?
I’d just gotten the coffee maker set up, when strong arms wrapped around me from behind, and Carter’s scruff made a raspy sound when meeting mine.
“Hey,” I said stupidly, turning my head as I took the kiss he gave me.
“Hey, baby.” He squeezed me, pecked my lips again, and nodded to the side. “What’s this?”
I turned to look at my bags. “I’m not moving in,” I blurted out.
Carter chuckled quietly. Then he took my hand and pulled me to the bags. He picked up one and I the other. Then he tugged me to the bedroom and into the walk-in closet.
“That side’s yours,” he said, pointing to the left.
Somehow, even after all the nights I’d spent here, I hadn’t been inside the closet before. Now I saw that he had it divided in two. The right side was filled with his clothing, and the left was empty.
“Did you empty it for me?” I glanced at him as I looked around.
He cleared his throat. “Uh, kind of. There wasn’t much there to begin with.”
His awkwardness caught my attention, so I turned to him fully. “When did you make space for me?”
“I didn’t do it consciously, but a few days ago.” He shrugged and broke eye contact. “I downsized my closet when I moved anyway, so there’s—”
I shut him up with my lips. My sweet, sweet man.
These glimpses of him feeling awkward about something, moments of vulnerability, were hot as hell when contrasted with the strong-willed, dominant man he was most of the time. He smiled into the kiss and then pressed me against the shelves for a good couple of minutes of making out like teenagers.
“Okay, okay,” I finally said and pulled back, panting for breath and more than a bit hard. “Let’s get coffees and then I’ll unpack here and then dinner?”
Carter smiled widely, his eyes sparkling with joy. “That sounds good. There’s a casserole in the oven. Elisa’s grandma’s recipe.”
I kissed him once more, then tugged him with me back to the kitchen.
Later, when we settled to sleep, I could tell Carter had something on his mind.
It didn’t seem urgent, nor was it about me, so I guessed work things. I didn’t ask, because I hoped he’d come to me with it when he was ready to put it all into words.
“So I’ve been thinking,” I said instead, and he looked at me from the pillow next to mine. Something about that made my chest tighten in a happy way.
“Yeah?”
He took my hand and nipped at my fingertips. We so weren’t going for round two tonight, but my dick tried to rally anyway.
“Every year, we have a Halloween thing at the ranch. For anyone who wants to come. We block off a lot of the place, of course, but there’s the regular apple bobbing and trunk or treating and stuff.”
I must’ve made a face, because Carter laughed. “Not your style?”
“I didn’t like kids even when I was a kid. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my niece and nephews but uh, I’m not known to take part in these Halloween things.”
He kissed my forehead, then asked, “So what have you been thinking?”
“Well I saw this video online about someone painting their horse with glow in the dark paint. Like patterns and stuff. It’s completely safe. I thought what if we paint a couple of horses to look like skeletons?”
Carter grinned. “That sounds amazing.”
“It is. Actually, let me show you that video….” I grabbed my phone off the bedside table and for about fifteen minutes, we watched and analyzed everything about the clip and the paint options that were safe to use on animals and humans alike.
“Tell me more about this event,” Carter asked, pulling me more firmly into his arms. I snuggled in without hesitation.
“Mom and Fern are the brains. It was actually Fern’s idea for her thirteenth birthday.
I mean, her birthday is the second of November but she’s always loved all things spooky.
She wanted an epic event, like the kind you see in movies.
Hay rides and bobbing for apples and a corn maze and the whole thing.
Well, they made it work for what we had available, and invited everyone in town.
As soon as it was over, they were ready to do it again the next year.
It evolved from there. Now we have food trucks and hot drinks, the trunk or treating I mentioned, as well as the classic staples.
Straw bale maze, which was what they did that first year.
Kids running around in costume, people coming and going for hours until we shut it down. ”
Carter chuckled and kissed my hair. “Yeah, I can see how it would definitely make you hide. I think it sounds like a blast.” He paused for a second, his whole body stilling. “You think I can help?”
I pulled out of his hold so I could lift up and look at him. The hesitancy in his tone was kind of surprising. And he sure did look hopeful and a little nervous. “You want to?”
“If they need me….” He took a breath and I practically watched him pull his confidence on. He gave me a sort of lopsided grin. “Like I said, it sounds fun. I’d love to get involved. However and wherever they need me. Even if it’s just my wallet.”
He was trying to be playful, but there was something underneath his tone I didn’t like.
I knew that he was used to throwing money around to make things happen.
And I’d learned that he was actually incredibly generous.
The offer was sincere. But I wanted him to see that he was more than just his money.
“We’ve got the funds covered,” I said firmly, making sure to hold his gaze. “There’s something about marketing write offs or some other shit. Don’t worry about that. But Mom can always use another hand. I’ll have her get in contact with you, okay?”
The smile that bloomed on his face was filled with excitement. “Excellent. I’ll wait for her call then.”
I kissed him, fast and hard, then settled down once again. We curled up to sleep together, and I felt… settled. Safe. Respected. All the good things.
The next day, I caught up with Mal after lunch.
“Hey, can I borrow you for a minute?”
He smiled. “Absolutely. I was going to go check up on my girl anyway.”
“Awesome, that’s actually good for what I had in mind.”
We went to the paddock where Jaina was gently teaching some manners to the weanlings who were trying to exist without their mommas.
“So, you know that Halloween thing we’re having?” I asked as we leaned to the fence and Jaina started to amble over for her favorite human.
“Oh yeah, Crew told me about that. Payton is excited for once. Some of his classmates are coming, apparently.”
I smiled. “I’m glad he has friends now.”
Mal widened his eyes dramatically. “You have no idea.” Then he grinned.
“He’s been doing better, right?” I wasn’t very on point with all the things, but I’d heard Mom talking about it with Crew one day.
“Yeah. He likes most of the kids well enough now. Has some friends, even. He talks like a regular kid now.” Mal’s smile was proud.
“Ah yes. I’ve noticed.” I smiled back.
Payton had talked very formally and properly when they first moved here. It wasn’t that he’d done it on purpose, it had just been who he was, but it’d made other children his age look at him a bit funny at first.
“He’s been riding a few times, too. With Crew and I, and with Mike.”
That made me grin. “Dad’s over the moon to have a little buddy again.”
“And soon Aria will be old enough and then the twins.” Mal chuckled. “Mike actually told me he’s glad he got a bigger grandkid to train for the younger ones.”
“He’s a great grandpa.”
“Yeah. And Jenn is such a great grandma. Well, she’s a great Mimi.”