Chapter 30
DEJA
Colin had been in Cairo for two weeks now. Two weeks that’d been a blur of business meetings, engagement rituals, and family dinners that lasted well into the night.
I’d barely seen him, even forced to sleep on the opposite side of the house from my almost-fiancé. He wasn’t even on the same story as me, downstairs while I was in my suite upstairs.
I honestly hadn’t thought that it would get to me, but it was driving me crazy. Everyone was talking like we were practically married, but at the same time, they were treating us like getting within three feet of one another without supervision would bring about the collapse of civilization.
It shouldn’t have been possible that I could miss him this much while we were living in the same house, but I swore we’d had more contact when we’d been across an ocean from each other. I seriously didn’t know how much more of it I could take.
I sat cross-legged in the middle of my bed, rotating another bottle design on my tablet before deleting the entire neck section.
The White Water Lily fall launch had only been last week, but I’d thrown myself into work all over again, hoping it would distract me from how much I just wanted to spend time with the man I was marrying.
Colin’s gray eyes haunted my dreams. My fingers physically ached when I saw him these days, desperate to run them through his hair.
After being so close to him that night next to the Nile, I’d been fantasizing every waking moment about what it might feel like to have his trim, hard body against my own.
It was getting to the point where the yearning was making me feel slightly insane. I was actually longing. For a man.
I shook my head at myself and refocused on the bottle. I’d spent the month Colin had been in Chicago sourcing botanicals for our winter collection and my bedroom was now covered in samples, dried flowers, scent strips, and paint swatches.
With inspiration all around me, the bottle should’ve come as naturally as breathing. They always did. Once I was in the zone, there was no stopping me, but I just wasn’t getting there with this one.
Eventually, I canned the entire sketch and started over, deciding that winter deserved cleaner lines than what I’d had before.
But a knock at my door instantly broke the tiny shred of concentration I’d managed to grab hold of.
My mother walked in before I’d said a word, simply opening the door as if there was no way she might be interrupting something.
She stepped carefully around the boxes and fabric samples littering my floor, smiling like she no longer even noticed that my bedroom looked like an artist’s studio after a tornado had ripped through it.
“Have you started packing yet, darling?” she asked gently, stopping at the foot of my bed and wrapping her delicate fingers around the ornate frame. “We’re leaving for our vacation house this afternoon.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m almost done.”
“Nanna will have your father skinned alive if we’re late.”
“True.” I set my tablet aside and glanced up at her. “Don’t worry. I’m packed. I know we can’t keep her waiting. I’m just trying to find a direction to go in with this bottle.”
“I’ll send someone up to collect your things.” She reached over to straighten a throw pillow that had already been straight. “Are you okay? You seem a little, well, not okay.”
I sighed. “I guess I’m just tired.”
“Of?”
“All of this,” I said, throwing my hands out to my sides as the frustration I’d been keeping bottled up finally started bubbling out.
It was weird, but it didn’t seem to matter how old I got, when I was talking to my mother, everything always just came tumbling out.
“Colin has been here for half a month and I’ve had enough. ”
“Of him? But he seems so nice.”
“No.” I scoffed. “The exact opposite. I’m tired of not even having five minutes alone with the man.”
Mom folded her arms, her expression soft and understanding. “I know it’s hard, but it will get easier soon.”
“It just feels backwards,” I said, sliding off the bed and striding over to my window, but not even the sight of the water cascading from the fountains eased the tension from my shoulders today.
“Dad has already given us his blessing. We’re pretty much engaged, but everyone is behaving like we’re sixteen. ”
She sat down beside the sketches on my bed. “When Al-Khutbah is over, your engagement will be public and your father will be much more comfortable with the two of you spending time together in public.”
I frowned. “Why is it such a big deal, though? I’ve had boyfriends before and I’ve been out in public with them, and besides, I’m not even asking for a wild night out. All I want is to be able to spend some time with him away from everyone else.”
“I know, darling. I understand. But what you need to understand is that people are already talking.”
“About what?” I scoffed. “People are always talking. This isn’t any different.”
“It is, Deja,” she said quietly. “What they’re saying isn’t kind. They’re questioning his very presence here and our association with him.”
“It’s because of his father, isn’t it?” I turned back to the fountains, but they still did nothing to improve my mood. “Colin isn’t him, Mom. People will get over it.”
“With time, yes, they will, but Court Thayer is in prison for some rather serious crimes. People remember things like that.”
Irritation bloomed deep down inside. “That’s not Colin’s fault.”
“No, but it is his family.”
“So what? It doesn’t matter to me. It shouldn’t matter to anyone. Colin is his own person.”
“I agree. The world would be much simpler if people judged only the person standing in front of them, but that’s just not how life works.”
I sighed, tears of frustration filling my eyes as I shook my head. “It’s just so unfair. He’s done everything Dad has asked of him and we’ve both been playing our parts. We should be allowed a little more freedom. Even if only in the house.”
She was quiet for a long minute as she watched me, a soft smile finally appearing on her lips. “You like him.”
I frowned. “What? How is that relevant?”
“Because it’s true. You actually really like him, don’t you?”
“I do,” I said after a brief pause, my voice wobbling with the force of the emotion behind the admission.
Mom’s smile grew smug. She rose elegantly from my bed and came over to pinch my cheek like she had when I’d been little. “I always knew you’d settle down with a calm, easygoing man. Someone who is able to absorb everything around him instead of standing out on his own.”
I pulled back slightly, what she’d said rubbing me the wrong way for some reason, but she didn’t seem to notice.
“There’s strength in silence,” she said without skipping a beat. “Colin is exactly the sort of man I imagined as a husband for you, steady and grounded, a real port in the storm.”
While Colin was all of those things, hearing him reduced to those qualities alone irked me.
She was making it sound like they’d chosen him simply because he happened to fit into some box, but that wasn’t what it was about for me—and frankly, Dad had chosen him initially because he was a Thayer.
It seemed pretty disingenuous to start pretending otherwise.
“He’s also thoughtful, and funny, and brilliant, and kind,” I said, my tone sharp but my voice soft. “He carries his burdens so gracefully that most people would never notice he’s carrying them at all. That’s much more remarkable than simply being quiet or calm.”
When I looked back at my mother, she was smiling at me. “That’s true. I’m glad you like him so much, darling. It certainly makes things easier.”
With that annoying little nugget of not understanding my point at all, she stood up and strode back to the still-open door. “Get ready, my love. Someone will be up to collect your things shortly and we’ll be leaving for the airstrip soon after that.”
I sighed, but before I could point out that I would’ve chosen Colin for myself even if he hadn’t fit into her vision of what was right for me, she was gone.
A few minutes later, long before my worries could pull me under completely, a tribe of housekeeping staff appeared to take my luggage downstairs, and the next thing I knew, we were on our way to our private hangar.
My father, Khaled, and Colin were already waiting near the jet when we arrived, and at least finally seeing him again should’ve settled my nerves, but the man looked wrecked. Even before I’d climbed out of the car, I noticed how tired he seemed.
Two weeks of being attached to either Dad or Khaled’s hip had clearly worn him out, and I was sure the stress of the engagement wasn’t helping. Ashanti and my mother helped my niece and nephew out the car, with Jasmine snapping her headphones firmly into place before she climbed out too.
I finally followed and Colin spotted me immediately, the exhaustion not disappearing from his face but his features softening and opening up once he smiled. Jasmine sighed quietly at my side. “Nanna is going to eat him alive.”
I nudged her with my elbow. “Don’t you have music to listen to or something?”
“Or something.” She shrugged. “It easier to ignore Mom and Dad when they think I’m otherwise occupied.”
I chuckled. “As long as you leave my fiancé out of it.”
She glanced at Colin again. “I’m just being realistic. He looks too optimistic to know what’s waiting for him.”
“Stop it. He’ll be fine.”
“I’m trying to mentally prepare him through telepathy.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think that’s how telepathy works.”
“Maybe not, but it’s worth a shot. You should be thanking me. I’m trying to help.”
I sighed, but my father was already waving everyone aboard, and if I waited before I got on that plane, chances were they’d seat us at complete opposite ends of the damn jet. As it was, it was going to be a full flight and it might not be a long one, but I was spending it with my fiancé.
Or almost-fiancé.
Whatever he was right now, I was sitting with Colin. We would have very little chance to actually talk, considering how many people would be with us, but at least no one stopped me when I slipped into the seat across from him.
Jasmine claimed the one beside me, but she didn’t say anything, just settling in and resting her head back against the seat with her eyes sliding shut.
The engines roared to life. Oddly enough, everyone was so busy getting Zain and Amari settled or arguing among themselves that no one paid much attention to us.
Which meant that for those few minutes as we took off and Cairo shrank underneath us, I got to just stare into Colin’s eyes without anyone trying to put themselves between us.
Just being able to look at him like this was such a huge relief that I found myself smiling as we ascended.
The corners of his lips twitched up too, but neither of us spoke.
Once we were finally in the air, I pulled out my tablet, grateful to have something that would keep my hands busy.
Because without it, I would’ve reached for him.
No doubt about it. I wanted to feel close to him so badly that even holding his hand would’ve been a blessing, but no matter how distracted everyone else was, they’d notice if I touched him, and they would have opinions.
Colin glanced over as I powered up the tablet. “What are you working on?”
“The winter collection.”
His eyebrows swept up. “Already?”
I smiled. “I started the sourcing process while you were still in Chicago, so we’re well on our way with the scents, but the bottle designs are eluding me.”
“Can I see what you’ve got so far? I’m not bottle maker, but I’m curious to see your work.”
I pulled up the project and turned the screen toward him. “These are all the ones I’ve kept, but I’ve designed at least a dozen others.”
Colin took the tablet for a moment, studying the screen with genuine concentration instead of the polite interest most others—including my own siblings—gave my work. “I like this one.”
He handed the tablet back, tapping his finger against one side of the screen. “The square blue design could work.”
“It’s more clear than blue.” I squinted at it. “Actually, it’s not very blue at all.”
“It will be once it’s filled.”
I squinted at the screen, then realized he was right. “Wow, I can’t believe I didn’t see that.”
“You’ve had a lot on your mind.”
“So have you.”
“Sure, but I have fresh eyes when it comes to this. That makes it easier to see things.”
“True.” I showed him the options for packaging next, and although our conversation was far from romantic, Colin asked thoughtful questions and I actually found myself having fun just talking about simple things, like why heavier glass made people perceive a fragrance as more luxurious or how I was considering changing the cap design because those lines sold better in the winter.
He nodded when I showed him the curve I was thinking about changing. “I see what you mean, but I think it should stay.”
“Why?”
“It balances the rest of the bottle.”
My eyes widened. “You noticed that? It’s why I did it that way in the first place.”
He grinned. “Great minds.”
“You’re annoyingly good at this.”
“I work with manufacturing,” he said innocently, but that grin was still firmly plastered on his lips. “This might be perfume, but it’s still product design.”
Jasmine made a gagging noise. “Would you two please stop flirting over bottle shapes?”
We both looked at her, but Colin frowned. “We’re discussing work.”
“I know.” She gave an exaggerated shiver. “It’s disgusting.”
I laughed. “Why are you so judgmental?”
“I’m just trying to save you from Nanna. If you act like this in front of her, you’re really going to be in for it.”
Colin frowned. “Khaled has been telling me she’s the nicest woman on earth.”
I glanced at Jasmine, finding her already looking back at me, but since neither of us could say what was on our minds with a whole plane full of Saads around us, we both kept our mouths firmly shut.
The matriarch of our family would be waiting when we arrived.
It wouldn’t be long now until Colin found out exactly what we meant.