November 29, 2020—Seattle, Washington—The Next Day #10
“They were nice, even great guys, actually. But…” He inhaled, and the breath he let out was fragile, like seafoam dissolving into sand.
“None of them had gray eyes that turned storm-dark when they were angry, or softened like silver under the sun. None of them had sand-colored hair that the ocean kissed gold. None of them were reckless enough to jump off cliffs like it was nothing, or dangle over a ravine just to prove a point, just because they could.”
Logan let out a small, wet laugh, shaking his head as he remembered exactly what Adrian was talking about.
“None of them were moody enough to throw a scene at me for talking to another guy at a party, nor were they possessive enough to make any other guy that looked at me run away with one glare,” Adrian continued, smirking faintly.
“Or were about to leave me altogether when I spent an hour with my friends instead of being with you.”
Logan groaned, covering his face for a moment, and Adrian’s laugh was soft, but full of something real.
“None of them made me laugh loud and honest, to the point where it hurt to laugh. None of them had that ridiculous smirk of yours, or the wild look in their eyes when they came up with some insane, reckless, yet somehow brilliant idea. None of them said my name the way you did, with that thick, hot American accent, that low, strong, sexy voice that made me shiver every damn time.”
Logan swallowed thickly, his hands trembling as he listened, as Adrian’s words stripped him down, leaving him bare and vulnerable.
“None of them made me feel like myself, not the way you did.”
Adrian’s gaze burned into him then, something unshaken, something final. He reached out, cupping Logan’s face in his hands, his thumbs brushing softly over his cheeks, grounding him in the moment.
“None of them were you, Logan.”
The words hit like a wave breaking over him, like the current pulling him under, like every breath he had ever lost since the moment he walked away from Adrian.
“And I only ever looked for you,” Adrian confessed.
“So, to be honest, none of them ever had a chance. Every word they spoke, every touch they offered, every love they tried to give, every moment they tried to make special, it was always measured against you. Against us. And it paled in comparison. It was unfair of me to make them fail before they even began, so eventually, I just… stopped.”
Logan’s breath caught, his throat tightening as if constricted by a tangle of unspoken words, lingering regrets, and countless I love yous he had been trembling to voice when it mattered most.
Adrian exhaled, and the weight of it settled deep in Logan’s chest.
“I don’t take words lightly,” he whispered.
“When I told you I loved you that night, I meant it. And I had loved you for a long time before I ever said it out loud.” Adrian ran his fingers through Logan’s hair.
“So when my wounds finally started to heal, when I finally thought that maybe—just maybe—I could move on… and I convinced myself to give guys a true chance, to be them and not search you in every guy I meet,” Adrian’s voice broke just slightly, and he took a breath before finishing, “I got diagnosed. And suddenly, nothing mattered. Everything felt meaningless.”
Logan’s world tilted.
“That’s why I burned your things. I didn’t do it because they were yours. I did it because they were ours.”
And Logan, unable to withstand the torrent within any longer, seized Adrian, drew him into his embrace, and clasped him with the utmost ferocity, inhaling his presence, hungering for proximity.
Logan pressed his lips to Adrian’s like a man drowning, clutching at the only thing that could bring him back to the surface. His hands trembled as he held him, his body wracked with sobs, salt from his tears marking Adrian’s skin.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into Adrian’s lips, his voice breaking around the edges.
But Adrian pulled him closer, arms wrapping around him like the warm embrace of the sea after a lifetime spent fighting against the current.
“No,” he murmured. “We’ve already passed it.” He gazed at Logan then, the molten whisky of his eyes full of something vast and endless. “I’m just grateful you came back to me. And don’t you dare apologize for it ever again, okay?”
Logan nodded, unable to speak, his throat thick with grief, with love, with the weight of everything he had lost and found again in Adrian’s arms. Adrian’s thumb brushed the tears from his cheeks, the touch reverent, soft, caressing his face with a tenderness unmatched in its intensity.
“I love you, Ad. So, so much.”
And then Adrian kissed him, and Logan melted into it, let himself fall, let himself be carried away like a wave surrendering to the pull of the moon.
His tears kept falling, but he let them, trusted Adrian to catch them, to wash them away, to make them disappear like footprints in the sand at high tide.
And he did.
Adrian’s hands were rough but tender, his fingers threading through Logan’s hair as he kissed him deeper, as if sealing up every wound Logan had ever carved between them.
Then Logan felt Adrian’s cock stirring against his, causing him to gasp against his lover’s lips as his own body readily reacted to Adrian’s desire.
Logan pushed their hard lengths against each other as he started to press a trail of kisses down Adrian’s neck, tasting his skin and feeling the shiver that ran through him.
His lips mapped the ridges of Adrian’s body, worshipping him in a way he never had the words for.
He traced the curve of Adrian’s collarbone, his breath warm against fragile skin, his tongue drawing invisible poetry over a body he had once known so well.
His hands joined, too. Roaming with a tenderness that bordered on the rhythmical, exploring with a gentleness that captured the essence of the moment, weaving a narrative through every touch and caress, his fingertips ghosting over ribs that stood more prominently now, along the lines of Adrian’s stomach, the jut of his hipbones.
Logan pressed his lips there, letting them linger, breathing him in.
There was something numinous in the way Adrian trembled beneath him, the way his breath hitched when Logan kissed lower, the way his body arched.
Adrian’s fingers tangled in Logan’s hair, anchoring him, tethering him to this moment.
There was no rush. No frantic, desperate hunger like there had been in the past. This was something else.
This was measured, careful, a love letter written with mouths and hands and the weight of the truths uncovering.
It was a whisper in the dark, a prayer pressed into skin.
Logan kissed the inside of his wrist, where his pulse fluttered weakly, and whispered against his skin, “I’ve got you.”
Adrian exhaled a shaky breath. “I know.”
Logan’s hands gripped Adrian’s thighs, his fingers pressing into the soft flesh just enough to leave the faintest imprint, as if he needed to mark him, to claim him.
Adrian’s chest rose and fell in uneven breaths, his fingers twisting into the sheets like they were the only thing keeping him tethered to this world.
His lips were parted, his eyes dark with pleasure, and Logan thought he had never seen anything more devastatingly beautiful.
He wanted to ruin him. He wanted to worship him.
He wanted to take his time, to savor him, but there was also a hunger simmering in his veins, a need that started to burn through him like wildfire.
“Fuck,” Adrian choked out, his voice raw, wrecked, as Logan’s tongue licked over his cock, from base to root, leaving a wet trail behind.
Then, Logan took him into his mouth, both of them groaning with longing, with satisfaction as Logan started to work Adrian’s dick, taking it as far back into his throat as possible.
Logan’s mouth moved over Adrian’s cock with reverence, the taste of him intoxicating, a familiar elixir that went straight to his head, giving him a heady feeling.
Every slide of his lips and flick of his tongue carried intention, forming a language unique to them, filled with longing and regret, love and redemption.
The weight of Adrian’s beautiful cock on his tongue sent a shiver through Logan as desire coiled tightly within him, and he sucked more intensely, his tongue gliding over Adrian as he took him deeper into his throat.
But it wasn’t enough. It could never be enough.
With a growl that reverberated through both of them, Logan released Adrian’s cock, the wet sound of his mouth leaving him echoing in the room.
Adrian’s eyes, dark and wide, blinked down at him in dazed confusion, but Logan was already moving.
He slid off the bed, falling to his knees on the hardwood floor, the roughness grounding him even as his mind spun.
He grasped Adrian’s legs and pulled him forward, the friction of sheets whispering under him until Adrian’s hips were perched at the edge of the bed, legs thrown over Logan’s broad shoulders.
Adrian’s surprised gasp filled the room, a sharp intake of breath that sent a bolt of desire straight to Logan’s cock.
Logan looked up, meeting Adrian’s gaze, a devilish smirk curling his lips before he lowered his mouth to that tender stretch of skin behind Adrian’s balls.
He placed soft kisses there, then opened his mouth to lick, to suck, the sensation tearing another moan from Adrian’s throat, a mellifluous sound, the very echo of Logan’s dreams, had haunted his thoughts, tormented his nights, and breathed fire into every failed attempt to bury the desire he carried.
Logan’s grip on Adrian’s thighs tightened, his thumbs stroking gentle circles as he lavished attention on that sensitive spot, his tongue moving in slow, purposeful strokes.
The way Adrian’s body responded, the way he twisted on the bed, fingers clutching desperately, made Logan’s heart clench and his cock throb painfully.