July 17, 2021—Seattle, Washington—Four Months Later #6
Adrian laughed and lovingly smacked Logan’s chest. And for a moment, it felt like before. Before hospitals. Before fear. Before the world had shrunk to a bed and an IV drip. For just one moment, it was him and Logan. A couch. A kiss. A quiet night.
And then Logan’s phone rang.
The sound shattered the moment, sharp and sudden, slicing through the soft cocoon of their closeness like a crack in glass.
“Sorry,” Logan muttered, already reaching for his pocket. “Forgot to turn it off when I got here.”
Adrian didn’t think anything of it at first. Another call, another meeting, another echo of the outside world trying to reach in and pull Logan away.
But then Logan glanced at the screen and something in him stiffened.
His whole body held tension. And Adrian saw the flicker of something across Logan’s face.
Not fear. Not guilt. Not quite. But something close enough to both.
His fingers hovered, uncertain, twitching with hesitation, like he didn’t know whether to decline the call or throw the phone out the window.
And then, without a word, Logan turned the screen toward Adrian.
Zack.
It landed with a sting, bitter on Adrian’s tongue even before he said it. “Zack?”
“Yeah.” Logan swallowed hard, his voice almost too soft.
Adrian’s gaze lingered on the screen a moment longer. Too long. His features schooled themselves into calm, but inside, something pulled taut. The truth was there, suspended between them like a wire strung too tight.
“It’s the—”
“Yeah,” Logan cut in quickly, his voice sharp. “Don’t.”
Adrian nodded. He didn’t need to say it. They both knew. They had talked about Zack once, long ago. Back in that hotel room in Israel, back when Logan was still trying to explain the ache of losing him and what he’d done to survive it.
“I’ll just let it go to voicemail,” Logan muttered, moving to silence the call.
But Adrian stopped him.
“No, answer him.”
Logan’s eyes snapped to his. “No.”
“Yeah, answer him,” Adrian pressed, giving Logan’s hand a small, measured squeeze. His voice was light, easy, but there was something darker curled beneath it. Something unsaid.
You want to ignore him? Because I’m here? Because you don’t want me to hear?
“It’s fine. Really.”
For a long moment, Logan hesitated.
Then, reluctantly, he slid his finger over the screen and answered the call, pressing the phone to his ear.
“Hello, handsome,” Zack’s voice purred smoothly through the receiver.
Adrian felt everything inside him coil tight. And then—he watched Logan blush. Deep, five different shades of fuck, this is awkward red.
And Adrian didn’t like it. Not one bit.
His fingers twitched in Logan’s, and Logan must have noticed, because he visibly winced.
“Hey, Zack,” Logan said, quietly, hesitantly.
“Haven’t seen you in ages,” Zack drawled, his voice warm, full of something that made Adrian’s stomach churn. In the background, there was the sound of clinking glasses, the low hum of bar chatter.
Adrian could picture it so clearly—Zack, behind a counter, flirting with customers, with Logan, the way Logan had gone there once, twice, more, the way Logan had touched—
He stopped himself.
“Found your guy?” Zack asked casually.
Logan tensed beside him. “Yeah,” he said quickly. “I’m back in the States, actually. He’s right here next to me.”
“So…” Zack’s voice curled through the speaker again. “Am I going to see my favorite customer soon? The tips have been awful since you left,” Zack chuckled, but even Adrian could hear the truth behind it.
Adrian’s chest burned.
Logan had been a regular at that bar.
A favorite customer. What the fuck does that even mean? Adrian did not need to guess; he remembered his and Logan’s conversation all those months ago, clear as day.
“I don’t think—” Logan started, but Zack cut him off.
“Oh, come on, don’t be like that. You could bring your guy. I’d love to meet Adrian, after everything you said about him.”
Logan’s mouth snapped shut.
Adrian’s stomach twisted.
Even though Logan hadn’t put Zack on speaker, he was close enough to hear every word.
He forced a small, tight-lipped smile and kissed Logan’s knuckles, like he wasn’t seething. Like he wasn’t burning alive.
Logan looked at him, reading him, knowing, before clearing his throat. “It’s… a bit complicated.”
“Oh shit,” Zack said, his voice shifting, dropping lower. “You found him, and he didn’t want to try again? But wait—you just said he’s there…”
“No, not that. We’re together.”
A pause.
“We’re in a hospital.”
There was silence on the line.
Logan swallowed, then, carefully, briefly, explained.
The leukemia. The hospital. The reality of everything.
Zack was quiet for a long time. And when he finally spoke, it wasn’t flirtation. It wasn’t teasing. Just—”I’m sorry, man. Really. I didn’t know.”
Adrian exhaled slowly, his fingers loosening slightly from their grip on Logan’s hand.
“Thanks,” Logan said, voice heavy, his thumb tracing over Adrian’s knuckles in slow, steady circles. “I huh… guess you need to get back to your shift.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Zack said softly. “See you around.”
The line went dead.
Logan turned off his phone.
And then he leaned into Adrian, pressing their foreheads together, his breath uneven.
“I love you,” Logan whispered.
“I know.”
And Adrian wasn’t angry.
Not really.
But something in his chest ached.
“You did great,” Adrian murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Logan’s head, his lips brushing against the fabric of the knit cap. He loved seeing it on him, loved the way it sat slightly askew, loved the quiet way Logan had claimed something of his as if to say, We belong to each other. No matter what.
Logan let out a dry laugh, his eyes closing briefly as he wrapped one arm around Adrian, pulling him in. “Yeah, right. I think you might be the only boyfriend on earth who encourages me to talk to a guy I used to hook up with.”
Adrian smirked, shifting closer, letting Logan’s warmth seep into his bones. “Well… technically, he sent you back to me. I think I owe him for that. And honestly? I’d rather be okay with it than have you hiding things from me.”
Logan’s expression turned serious, his grip on Adrian tightening slightly. “I would never hide anything from you,” he said quickly, fiercely, like the thought alone unsettled him.
Adrian nodded, his gaze soft. “I know. But still. I don’t ever want you to feel like there are things you can’t tell me because you’re afraid I’ll get angry. I know you love me, Lo. That phone call wasn’t easy to hear, but…” He exhaled slowly, his fingers brushing over Logan’s knuckles. “I’m okay.”
Logan studied him, searching his face like he was looking for any sign of a lie.
Then, his expression softened. “Thank you,” he whispered, lifting his head just enough to look Adrian in the eye.
Adrian smiled at him, the dry, pale skin of his face stretching slightly, his lips—almost white now—curling at the edges.
And Logan hated that.
Hated how even a smile—something so simple, so Adrian—looked exhausting now.
Hated how time had stolen from them, how even now, even in this moment of warmth and quiet intimacy, the sickness was still there.
“You’re going home tonight,” Adrian suddenly declared, interrupting Logan’s thoughts. “You need to sleep in a real bed and rest for a bit.”
Logan blinked, then scoffed. “Huh… no. I’m staying.”
Adrian sighed, but before he could argue, Logan was already reaching for Adrian’s phone, his fingers moving swiftly across the screen.
“And I’m ordering food,” Logan continued as if the matter was settled. “I’m starving. And you need something that didn’t come in a plastic bottle.”
Adrian raised an eyebrow. “You know that stuff is actually good for me, right? It’s designed to keep me alive.”
Logan snorted. “Great. You’ll drink it,” he said, his tone matter-of-fact. “And you’ll have a slice of pizza. Because let’s be real, Ad, surviving on hospital nutrition alone isn’t living, it’s just not dying.”
Adrian let out a small, tired laugh, shaking his head.
Logan woke slowly, his body heavy with exhaustion, the scent of antiseptic and Adrian clinging to his skin. He blinked, adjusting to the morning light, stretching slightly, only to realize he was alone.
The space beside him was empty, the sheets barely disturbed, still faintly warm from where Adrian had been.
Logan sat up quickly, his heart lurching, but then he saw Adrian sitting in one of the chairs, gazing at him with a quiet and amused expression.
“Morning,” Adrian said, his lips curling into a small smile. “You were really tired.”
Logan groaned, rubbing a hand over his face, then pulled the blanket up higher and closed his eyes again. “Morning.”
“You didn’t even wake up when the nurses came in. Or when Dr. Tierney stopped by.”
Logan peeked at him, eyes still heavy with sleep. “Did he say anything important?”
Adrian shrugged, standing and padding over to the bed. “Not much. Though he did suggest examining you, since you looked like shit.”
Logan scoffed. “I bet.”
Adrian chuckled softly before leaning down, pressing a lingering kiss to Logan’s head, his lips warm against his skin.
“How long have you been up?” Logan asked, pushing himself upright.
Adrian hesitated. “Two hours.”
“You woke up from the pain, didn’t you?”
There was no need to ask. He already knew.
Adrian nodded silently.
Logan exhaled sharply, guilt settling deep in his stomach. “I should’ve slept on the couch or something, given you more space.”
“No, no, Lo. Come on.” Adrian reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly. “I love when you sleep with me. You have no idea how much strength it gives me just to have you here.”
Without another word, Logan jumped to his feet and pulled Adrian into his arms. He pressed his lips close to his ear, whispering, “You owe me a good morning kiss.”
Adrian smirked, tilting his head, his nose brushing against Logan’s in a teasing nudge. “Oh really?” he murmured, his voice smug and light, something almost playful lingering in his tone.