Chapter 16 #3
“We don’t know that it would be with you, Zen.” The admission came out quieter than everything else they’d thrown at each other. “Noble said he’s taking me. He didn’t say who else is going.”
The weeks undercover had taken more out of him than he wanted to admit.
Maintaining enough of his cover around Red Squadron to keep Ghosts buried until the attack on their base had forced his hand on top of everything else, had sucked.
He’d barely gotten his own people back around him before learning Lexi was missing, and now orders were sending him straight back toward the mess he’d escaped.
He was damn tired. He wanted to crawl into bed and sleep for at least a fucking week.
Yeah, a week isn’t going to be enough.
Better make it two.
Zenko tucked his fingers beneath his chin and lifted his face until he had no choice but to meet his gaze.
“Do you really think Noble would send you out without me?” His thumb moved once along Shaun’s jaw. “Hell, I’d keep Noble so busy on the training mat the whole time you were out that he would get nothing done. Nope, if you are going out, then you are going out with me.”
Something tight in his chest eased. He hadn’t realized until that moment how much of his anger downstairs had been tangled up with the possibility that after finally getting Zenko back, someone was about to send him straight back into the field without him.
Shaun felt Zenko’s arms close around him, drawing him in until there wasn’t much space left between them.
He should probably have objected on principle after the asshole had told him he’d kept him, and then fucked him until the only thing keeping him vertical was the wall at his back, but he couldn’t summon the energy.
Instead, he let himself settle against Zenko’s chest while the last of his anger slowly burned itself out.
“Want to tell me what’s really going on?” Zenko’s breath moved through his hair before his arms tightened around him. When he shook his head against his chest, Zenko didn’t let him get away with it. “Talk to me, Shaun?”
“I’m just damn tired.” It was probably the simplest truth he had given anyone all fucking day.
He was tired of the mission and the secrets that came with it.
Tired of finding out that doing the right thing had put a target on his back.
Right now, he was tired enough that standing there with Zenko holding him felt like the first chance he’d had to stop since the whole fucking mess started.
Something warm pressed briefly against the top of his head, and he went completely still. Had Zenko fucking kissed his hair? Before he could lift his head and call him on it, Zenko’s arms shifted around him as though absolutely nothing unusual had happened.
“Shaun?”
He rubbed his cheek against Zenko’s chest instead of answering. Whatever the hell that soft little kiss had been, he could interrogate the asshole about it later. Right now, the flames they’d doused slowly started to build again.
He stayed where he was for another moment, listening to the steady beat beneath his ear until Zenko shifted against him.
The movement drew his attention to the sudden tension in the body holding him, followed by a small shudder Zenko couldn’t quite hide.
Shaun lifted his head and caught him biting down on his bottom lip.
Well, fuck.
He wasn’t entirely sure which of them moved first. One second, they were standing there wrapped around each other, and the next the backs of his knees hit the mattress, and he went down onto the bed.
Zenko stripped the rest of his clothes off, then his hands settled against Shaun’s stomach, his touch unexpectedly gentle after the angry round of sex they’d just had.
“Tell me what you need, Shaun?”
Shaun looked up at him. The fact that Zenko was asking mattered more than he wanted to examine right then. He wasn’t assuming. He wasn’t making the choice for him. He was waiting for him to make it.
“You, Zenko.” He slid a hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer until barely any space remained between their mouths. The answer came easily despite everything else that had been driving him batshit. “Just you.”
Something changed in Zenko’s expression before he shifted his weight and rolled them, leaving Shaun braced above him. “You’ve got me.” Zenko’s hands settled at his waist as he looked up at him. “What are you going to do with me?”
Shaun stared down at the man beneath him. “Are you saying it’s my turn?
“Yeah.” Zenko shifted beneath him, his hands tightening briefly at Shaun’s waist. “Take what you need, baby.”
Shaun took his time exploring the skin he’d uncovered, learning which touches made Zenko tense beneath him and which ones dragged a rough sound from his throat.
Discovering those reactions for himself, especially when Zenko’s hands tightened in the sheets, and his eyes squeeze shut before opening again made his balls ache.
“Umph,” Zenko moaned and closed his eyes shut. They popped open again just as quickly when Shaun licked a stripe through the mess of cum he’d left on his stomach a few moments before. Zenko’s breath hitched, and his lips parted. “You’re gonna make me suffer, aren’t you?” Zenko breathed.
Shaun couldn’t stop the grin that tugged at his mouth. “Payback’s a bitch.”
He moved lower, and his entire world had narrowed to the man beneath him and the fact that being here with Zenko was his choice.
“If you think we’re doing this again without lube, you’ve lost your damn mind.
” He leaned across him and yanked open the drawer of the bedside table and found it empty.
“Shit.” He climbed off the bed and went for the ruck lying against the wall instead, dropping to one knee and digging through it.
A knife hit the floor beside him, followed by spare gear as he searched deeper.
There you are.
“Fucking finally.” Shaun pulled out what he’d been looking for and turned back toward the bed.
He caught the way Zenko’s breathing changed as he covered his fingers and reached behind himself. The man’s gaze followed every movement, and Shaun damn near grinned when Zenko visibly swallowed.