Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Zenko woke to a warm body plastered along his back and a hand resting over his heart, Shaun’s palm spread against his bare chest as though he had reached for the steady beat beneath his ribs sometime during the night and fallen asleep once he found it.
For a couple of seconds, he stayed exactly where he was, his eyes closed while early morning light pushed through the narrow gap in the curtains and slowly changed the bedroom from black to gray.
Somewhere outside, a bird was making enough fucking noise that he briefly considered going after the asshole with his weapon, but the soft rush of Shaun’s breathing against the back of his neck and the familiar weight of his man curled around him convinced him he could deal with the damn bird.
Shaun’s fingers flexed against his chest, the movement small enough that he might have missed it if every part of him hadn’t already been aware of the man sleeping behind him.
He covered Shaun’s hand with his own, threaded their fingers together, and held them directly over his heartbeat, feeling the slow drag of his guy’s thumb across his skin as he began to surface from sleep.
Shaun shifted closer until there wasn’t a breath of space between them, his chest fitting against Zenko’s back while one bare leg slid between his, and he had to bite back a laugh at the realization that sometime during the night his man had apparently decided sharing a bed wasn’t enough unless he could also occupy every available inch of Zenko’s personal space
Fucking sappy bastard.
Both of them, apparently, because he had no intention of moving his hand or untangling their fingers anytime soon.
If Noble ever found out how many mornings he spent lying in bed holding hands with his guy while listening to fucking birds outside the window, his best friend would never let him live it down.
Of course, Noble had exactly zero room to talk when it came to being stupid over the man he loved, and he had enough ammunition stored away from years of friendship to make sure any shit his swim buddy gave him came straight back with interest.
“Stop thinking so loud.” Shaun’s sleep-roughened voice came from behind him before warm lips pressed against the back of Zenko’s neck, lingering against his skin long enough to send a shiver down his spine. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”
“I wasn’t thinking.” He rolled onto his back, taking Shaun with him until his guy ended up half sprawled across his chest, one arm trapped between them while the other remained tucked beneath his hand.
“Maybe I was lying here wondering how the fuck somebody as annoying as you manages to start giving me shit before he’s even properly awake. ”
“Bullshit.” Shaun lifted his head from Zenko’s chest, his hair sticking up on one side while a pillow crease ran across his cheek, and his eyes were still heavy enough with sleep that Zenko wondered whether he could get away with pretending he hadn’t been caught.
“You were thinking hard enough I could practically hear the gears grinding, and now you’re trying to distract me by being an asshole. ”
“Pretty sure being an asshole comes naturally.” Zenko reached up and pushed his fingers through the mess of Shaun’s hair, trying to flatten the strands that immediately sprang back into place.
He had woken beside Shaun enough times that none of this should have felt remarkable anymore, but there were still mornings when he opened his eyes and found his guy beside him and remembered there had been a time when neither of them had known if they would ever get this.
The hospital still came back when he least expected it, usually in broken flashes rather than one complete memory.
Bright lights above him while people moved around the bed, his body refusing to do what he wanted while pain pushed through the drugs.
Through all of it, he remembered Shaun’s voice, and the stubborn certainty that if he could fight his way toward that sound, his guy would be there when he finally opened his eyes.
Shaun’s eyes narrowed. Whatever remained of sleep disappearing as he studied Zenko’s face.
“Where’d you go?”
“Nowhere.” Zenko traced his thumb over the faint crease still marking Shaun’s cheek, the warmth of his skin pulling him back into the bedroom. “I’m right fucking here.”
“Good answer.” Shaun leaned down and kissed him before Zenko could say anything else, his mouth warm and unhurried against his while the hand resting over his heart slid upward to curl around the back of his neck.
There was no urgency behind the kiss, no clock ticking down somewhere or orders directing them to spin up for a mission, and Zenko let himself sink into the rare luxury of taking his time.
Nobody was talking in his ear through comms, and as far as he knew, nobody was currently trying to shoot either of them.
Considering their fucking luck lately, Zenko wasn’t prepared to rule out that last possibility completely.
Shaun shifted over him, one leg sliding between his thighs as the kiss deepened, and the slow friction of warm skin against his morning erection dragged a groan from his chest. He tightened his hand around the back of Shaun’s neck and kissed him harder, swallowing the quiet laugh that escaped his guy when he rolled them and put Shaun on his back.
“Fucker.” Zenko settled between Shaun’s thighs and caught both his wrists, pushing them into the pillow above his head while Shaun looked up at him with entirely too much amusement for a man who had deliberately spent the last several minutes making Zenko hard.
“You complaining?” Shaun shifted beneath him, making sure the movement rubbed their bodies together in exactly the right place before his mouth curved into a smug grin. “Because you seem pretty fucking happy with the situation from where I’m lying.”
“Do I look like I’m complaining?”
“Hard to tell when you bitch this much.”
Zenko stared at him for a beat before lowering his head and catching the sensitive skin where Shaun’s neck met his shoulder between his teeth, gentle enough to tease but firm enough to wipe the smug grin off his guy’s face.
Shaun’s laughter broke into a low sound that went straight through him, and Shaun’s legs tightened around his hips as he tipped his head aside to give Zenko more room.
Fuck, I love this man.
He knew where to put his mouth to make Shaun’s breathing change and exactly how much pressure would turn a laugh into that rough sound he felt all the way down to his balls.
He knew how Shaun took his coffee, which side of the bed he would inevitably end up stealing no matter where he started the night, and that the discovery of an empty milk carton in the refrigerator could produce a level of personal outrage normally reserved for international incidents.
Somewhere between Syria and California, he had learned a thousand pieces of the man beneath him, and the ordinary ones had become every bit as important as knowing how Shaun moved when someone reached for a weapon.
He released Shaun’s wrists and let his hands travel slowly down his arms before settling against his sides, but when he lifted his head again, the teasing had disappeared from Shaun’s expression.
His guy watched him closely, and Zenko knew that look well enough by now.
Shaun was trying to figure out what was going on inside his head without pushing hard enough to make him shut down.
“You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Thinking.” Shaun slid one hand over Zenko’s shoulder and rested it against the side of his neck. “I can practically see it happening, so you might as well tell me what’s going on in there.”
“Jesus Christ.” Zenko dropped his forehead against Shaun’s and closed his eyes for a second. “You got a problem with me thinking now?”
“Depends what you’re thinking about.” Shaun narrowed his eyes. “Because you had that same look on your face yesterday when you ordered six bags of water balloons and enough glitter to contaminate half of California.”
Zenko could have made a joke about the glitter and left Shaun wondering what the fuck he was planning, and normally he would have because turning shit into banter was considerably easier than opening his chest and handing someone the parts that mattered.
Shaun already had those parts, though. Somewhere along the way, he had stopped needing to protect himself from this man, and as uncomfortable as that realization could still make him sometimes, he wasn’t going to insult what they had by pretending otherwise.
“The glitter is none of your business yet.” He brushed his thumb along Shaun’s neck, holding his gaze. “But I was thinking about you.”
Shaun snorted softly beneath him. “Should I be worried?”
“Probably.” Zenko lifted his head and pushed his fingers through Shaun’s hair again, watching those stubborn strands fall straight back into the same fucking mess. “I found you in a fucking cave.”
Shaun’s mouth twitched. “Yeah, you did. My own personal caveman came charging in and dragged me out with his belt.” His smile faded as the memory caught up with the joke, and his body went still beneath Zenko.
“You remember what I told you?”
“In the cave?” A small smile tugged at one corner of Shaun’s mouth as his thumb moved slowly against Zenko’s neck. “You told me to grab your belt and no matter what happened, I wasn’t supposed to let go.”
The words landed exactly where Zenko had known they would, bringing back the weight of Shaun’s hand locked around his belt and the absolute certainty he had carried that day that he was getting the man beside him out of there.
He hadn’t known Shaun then. He hadn’t known his history or the things that had been done to him, and he sure as fuck hadn’t known the stranger he was hauling out of a cave would eventually become the man waking up wrapped around him in a house they shared.