Echoes of Fear (Obsidian MC Book 3)

Chapter One

Knox

Nick Thornfield is dead, but only in reality. In my head, he’s very much alive. One year ago, my friends and I were in a horrible car crash that resulted in my being abducted by a man who thought he had the right to own me. A man I had only met once.

Nick held me for over twelve hours. No one knows the true extent of what he did to me, and no one ever will. I’m thankful that I wasn’t sodomized, but had it taken my friends any longer to find me, I have a feeling that I would have been.

King made sure that I never had to worry about Nick Thornfield again. From what I heard, he held the depraved man in his “chambers” for several months before killing him. Sometimes, I wonder if King knows everything that Nick did. I wonder if he made him confess.

Every once in a while, King will look at me in a way that leaves me completely exposed. Those are the moments when I know he’s been informed of every detail.

“You coming outside for dinner?” Ghost, the president of the Obsidians MC, asks.

“I think I’ll just eat at my table next to the window,” I say, trying to smile.

Ghost stares at me for several moments before nodding and walking away.

I can feel his disappointment. His worry. I desperately want to make it go away, but I can’t.

“You could use some fresh air, boy.”

I glance up at Steel and shrug.

“I get plenty of fresh air from the open windows,” I tell him. “Besides, it’s hot out there. It’s even too hot to grill. You guys are only doing it to try and help me leave this building.”

Yeah, something I forgot to mention. I haven’t left the walls of the Obsidian clubhouse since I officially moved in shortly after being released from the hospital. I tried staying in my apartment but didn’t feel safe there anymore.

One day, I packed up my essential stuff, put everything else in storage, got released from my lease agreement, and moved into the clubhouse.

This is my safe place. These are my safe people. My friends. My brothers. My family.

But even though I feel the safest here, I still don’t feel completely safe. I’m not sure I ever will again.

“Little boy, you need to eat more.”

“I’m not a Little anymore, Blaze,” I sigh.

Not only did Nick freaking Thornfield steal my freedom and my safety, but he also stole my Little. I can still feel him in the back of my head, but I’m too scared to let down my guard enough to allow myself the joys of being Little.

“You will always be Little, Knox,” Blaze tells me. “Right now, he’s in hiding, but you’ll be able to free him again one day.”

“Sure,” I say, feigning a smile. “One day.”

“Bring the burgers back inside,” Steel shouts. “It’s too damn hot to eat out there.”

Steel is always so serious about things. He hardly ever smiles, and sometimes, it’s hard to read his emotions. He’s the complete opposite of his twin brother, Blaze, who wears his every emotion on his face.

So, I can’t hide my shock when Steel turns his head towards me, smirks, winks, and walks away.

“I think I’m starting to hallucinate,” I say out loud.

“Nah,” Blaze chuckles. “Steel’s trying this new thing with his face. He wants to look as handsome as I am. It’ll never happen, of course. I’m way too sexy for anyone to even reach my level.”

“You have the exact same face,” I laugh. “There isn’t a single thing different between the two of you.”

“I fuck harder than he does,” Steel says, tossing me a bottle of water. “Drink it.”

“I really don’t want to know how you two do things with your subs,” I cringe, drinking the water as demanded.

Maddy has repeatedly asked me why I don’t try to be the Sub that Steel and Blaze have been looking for. I get it, though. I understand why people think we would make a great partnership. They are my Doms, after all, but only in friendship.

Steel and Blaze are versatile Doms. They’re not really “Daddy Doms,” which was what I had been looking for before everything happened last year.

If their chosen sub, because they plan to share one, is a little, then the twins could be a Daddy Dom with no problem.

But when I look at them, I don’t feel that spark. I was able to be Little with them, but it was only ever in a guardianship sort of way.

I’m not the submissive that will make them a single unit. And I know, for a fact, that I’m more like a little brother to them.

However, I’m submissive by nature, and the sheer dominance that emits from these two always has me “exposing my neck,” for lack of a better phrase.

“He does fuck harder,” Blaze tells me as if it’s something I desperately need to know. “But only because he wants to get it over with. I like to take my time and enjoy the rare sub we decide to take to bed.”

“Ew, I don’t want to hear this,” I yelp, sticking my fingers in my ears. “LA LA LA LA.”

It takes me a moment to realize what I’ve done, and I quickly lower my hands and straighten my back.

Both Blaze and Steel are smiling warmly at me.

“Told you,” Blaze says softly. “He’s in there, little one.”

“We have to talk to you about something,” Jax announces as he places the plate of raw beef patties on the island.

The clubhouse has an open-concept design. Apart from the bathrooms, bedrooms, and the office, it’s pretty much one giant room. There is a space to lounge and watch some TV, a small kitchen area with an island to separate it, and the rest is this large open space that Bitsy once said would be perfect for parties.

I do miss her. She and Viper moved to live near Bitsy’s family. She’s been by a couple of times since she had her baby, but I didn’t get to see her. I saw her only once.

“Enough, Jax,” Steel growls. “We’ll talk to him about it after dinner.”

Yeah, that’s not going to work.

“What is it?” I ask.

“We’ll tell you later,” Blaze agrees with his twin. “It’s not something you need to worry about right now.”

“I disagree,” Jax frowns. “Considering his situation, this needs to be something he has time to mentally prepare himself for.”

“What’s going on?” I repeat.

“Damn it, Jax,” Blaze growls. “You couldn’t wait one more fucking hour?”

“No! We should have told him days ago.”

Alright, now I’m getting worried.

“Are you kicking me out?” I ask worriedly as Ghost walks in. “Did I do something wrong? I’ve been adding money to the accounts for rent and utilities.”

“What the fuck, Knox,” Ghost shouts. “I told you to keep your money. Why didn’t anyone notice that he was depositing money into the club”s account?”

“Because I’m the one in charge of the books,” I answer.

“We’ll talk about that later, little one,” Steel says, his gaze piercing into my very existence.

I’m not a Little, I try to say, but his dang Dom energy has made me forget how to speak.

“In our defense,” Maddy says, pointing from her to Sophie, “We only just found out, or we would have told you.”

“Told me what?” I say when my ability to be an adult finally kicks back into gear.

“There’s an important meeting happening tonight,” Ghost finally tells me.

Okay?

“We have no choice but to have it here at the clubhouse,” he continues.

Again, what’s the big deal?

“Sweetheart,” Blaze says softly. “It’s with a group of seven men.”

Oh. Okay. Right. That’s a lot of people inside this building.

Trapped. No escape. Can’t breathe.

“Fuck. Someone get me a cold rag. Stay with me, little one. We’ve taken care of everything.”

“The meeting will take place in this area of the building only.”

“If they so much as have to piss, they can go outside.”

“No one will be near the rooms.”

“We’ll have someone guarding the staircase the entire time. No one will bother you. It’s only going to be for a couple of hours.”

Blaze and Steel’s scents surround me. Their voices are soft and soothing as they try to talk my brain down from the panic attack.

But it’s not working. I can’t breathe. Everything is fading away.

“Knox, I need you to breathe for me,” Blaze says. “Fuck, his lips are turning blue.”

“You will breathe, Little boy.”

Oxygen flows through my lungs, and the room around me returns.

That voice. That demand. The absolute order from a powerfully dominant man overpowers my frantic thoughts. My mind focuses on that one order—the demand to do as my Dom says.

“Again, boy.”

This time from Blaze.

I want to run away and hide, but my body completely and utterly submits to the Doms demands. Everything in me relaxes, knowing that I’m not currently in charge. I don’t have to make any decisions at this moment in time. My only job is to listen and obey.

And I love every single second of it. There is nothing more calming than a complete power exchange. A spark of fear tries to fight its way forward with what happened the last time someone had a little power over me. But I trust these two men with everything I have. So, I ignore the fear. I let it go and give it to the two men who want nothing more than to make me feel safe.

“Good boy,” Steel says. “You’re doing a good job, little one, isn’t he, Blaze?”

“Such a brave boy,” Blaze answers.

Safety. Family.

“Guys, our guests will be here in three hours. We need to get him mentally ready for this.”

“He’s in complete submission right now, Jax,” I hear Steel explain.

“Then pull this alpha shit back some so he can come out of it. Wait, this could work. If he’s this calm while the guests are here, he might not have another panic attack. Could you keep him like this until then?”

“We could, but we’re not going to,” Blaze says.

“Why the hell not? It could help him not to be scared.”

“Because it’s not our right,” I hear Steel say, gently rubbing the back of my neck. “We’re his guardian Doms until there comes a time when he no longer needs us to be.”

As much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. My mind clears, and I look up at Steel and Blaze.

“I’ll be fine,” I say. “I might take some Melatonin and sleep while they’re here.”

“I have a better idea,” Ghost says. “You’ve told me before that you don’t want to be in a place where you feel trapped, right? You feel like you always need a way of escaping?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, ashamed of my new disability.

“How about you spend the evening in the office,” he suggests. “It has a comfortable place to relax, a large screen TV, and soundproofed walls.”

“Plus, the window you could escape from if you really needed to,” Maddy adds. “And Sophie and I could hang out with you if you want.”

“It’s on the first floor, and we could make sure no one has access to this part of the building. What do you say, kid?”

Pops reached his hand down to help me get off the floor, which I didn’t realize I was on. Gripping the man’s hand, he lifts me with a strength I didn’t know he possessed.

“I think it’s a good idea,” I smile. “I’m so sorry, everyone. I’m embarrassed that I had that little meltdown in front of you all.”

“Don’t worry about it, kid,” Pops smiles. “We’ve all seen far worse.”

“Yeah, like the time Miles took over my body and tried to seduce my own brother,” Venom cringes, causing us all to laugh.

I remember that day fondly. Venom has Dissociate Identity Disorder, and Miles is one of his alters. He’s also gay and has a hard-on for Ghost, which happens to be Venom’s older brother. Miles had flirted with him for hours. And it wasn’t those subtle types of flirts, either. Miles was hands-on and very descriptive about what he wanted to happen.

We all know that Miles would never actually act on his flirtatious offerings, but he loves giving Venom a hard time.

“What’s this meeting about, anyway?” I ask as I head to help Maddy with the burgers.

My heart is still racing at the thought of so many new people being in my safe place that it’s hard to focus, but I need to try. I also need to remember that this is the Obsidian MC clubhouse. This building is meant for things like this.

“It’s actually for a buddy of ours,” Blaze says. “He’s our head of security at Oasis. He and his club are moving into town, and we need to work out some territorial kinks beforehand.”

Obsidian Oasis is a BDSM club that Blaze and Steel started years back. They’re very strict about their membership policy, which is why I was never allowed to join.

My chest aches at the memories trying to drag me down. If they had just let me join the Little’s part of their club, I might never have met Nick, and none of what happened last year would have happened.

They didn’t think the “club lifestyle” was my cup of tea. Which it’s not, but I only wanted to be part of the Little’s section. Apparently, that could only happen if you were a Little with a Caregiver.

Which I was not.

They’ve changed their policy in that aspect after learning why I was going to other BDSM clubs with the hope of finding one to fit in. I guess the girls, Maddy, Sophie, and Bitsy, went off on the twins, telling them that it was their fault I got hurt.

I don’t blame the guys. I understood their reason for not letting me join their club, even if I thought it silly.

“Do I need to buckle down on security for the night?” I ask. “Being in the office might be the best option anyway because most of my equipment is there.”

Ignoring my fear of leaving this building, it’s my actual job to handle security for our club and some other government officials. While I may not fit the stereotype of a seasoned biker with a body that’s far from as bulky as a male can get, I sure as hell can kill a person with some properly placed ones and zeros.

“As a precaution, go ahead and double-check the security feeds in and around the building,” Ghost says. “But I don’t think we’ll have any issues with Taylor or his club.”

“What type of club is it?” I ask, mentally reviewing my checklist of tasks I’ll need to complete before they arrive.

“They’re a small motorcycle club much like ours,” Blaze answers. “There are only seven members.”

“You said one of them works as a bodyguard at your club? I think I’m going to go and run a check on them. Do we have names?”

My mind seems to race while I categorize file after file as new information enters my brain. I’m a mess on the outside, but my mind is an organized library. My grandma once thought I had Hyperthymesia, a condition where you recall everything you’ve ever read, seen, or heard. But it just turns out that I have an amazing ability to recall a lot of information that I’ve learned.

“They all work for us in some capacity. But, their President, Anthony Taylor, is the one I was talking about,” Steel answers. “He was a detective years back but quit when his partner was killed. He wanted revenge in a way that is frowned upon for those badge wearers.”

“Do you think it’s wise having an ex-detective here or anywhere near our club, considering some of the illegal activity we’re prone to?” I ask.

“We don’t do illegal shit,” Pops answers, taking a swing of the very illegal substance in his jar.

“Pops, you’re drinking the far too potent moonshine that you made illegally in your basement,” I laugh.

“Right you are, my boy,” he smiles, lifting his glass. “Right, you are.”

“I’m sure you’ll find out when you run your searches,” King says. “Taylor and I have worked a few cases together in the past.”

“Cases, as in…cases?”

“As in cases,” King nods. “One of them being the hunt, capture, and revenge of the men responsible for his partner’s murder.”

Alrighty then. King used to be a killer for hire, so this Taylor man’s detective past probably isn’t an issue.

“Names?” I ask, heading towards the office.

“Just search Dark Sentinels,” Blaze says. “They try to keep a low profile, so you might not find much on them.”

Smirking, I reach the office and head to my station.

Our office is huge. It has a massively long and extremely heavy table on one side where we sit for our club meetings. It also has Ghost’s desk, two couches, a forty-inch smart TV on one wall, and my setup on the other side of the room.

I have two L-shaped desks with four monitors, two laptops across the entire surface, and a mini fridge off to the side with all of my favorite energy drinks. Plus, the bottles of water that all the men keep sneaking in with the expectation of me drinking them.

Yuck.

It’s cute that Blaze thinks I won’t find much. It’s like he doesn’t know me at all. I switch the club’s security feed from one of the desktops to the TV so anyone walking in can check it if they need to, and I get to work.

Sophie and Maddy brought me a burger but didn’t bother me otherwise. I spend the next hour looking into our guests.

I found nothing to be too concerned about.

A knock on the door has me looking up into Steel’s concerned face.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Did you eat?” he asks.

“I think so. I’m not sure if I did or not,” I admit. “But the burger is gone, so I assume I did.”

I always forget to eat when I’m deep into my work or in Little Headspace.

“Good. You’ve been in here for four hours now.”

“Really?” I ask, not entirely surprised.

“Listen, little one. We need you out here.”

“Okay,” I shrug. By the time I finish stretching my body, realization hits me.

“Are they here?”

Steel nods hesitantly.

“I can’t go out there, Steel,” I cry. “There’s no way.”

“We need you, Knox,” he says softly. “Something important has come up, and you’re the only person who can help in this situation.”

“I’m going to be sick,” I say when my stomach turns.

“The men are moving the seating around,” he tells me. “Everyone is going to be against the wall on the far side of the room. You can sit where there are multiple exits. You’re completely safe, sweetheart. One hundred percent in control.”

“I’m setting up conference cameras after today,” I mumble as I make my way to Steel’s side.

When I reach him, I stand there fidgeting with my hands. I need something, but I don’t know how to ask.

Steel reaches down and grabs my right hand in his left, holding it firmly.

Safety.

“You don’t have to do that,” I mutter. “Everyone will see when we get out there.”

“I don’t give a fuck,” he states. “They can think what they want, and no one would dare say a word to you about needing a little more security. Do you remember where Taylor works?”

“At Oasis,” I answer numbly.

“He’s also a member, little one. He and most of his club. They already know about you and won’t look at you as if you’re anything other than one smart dude that they desperately need at the moment.”

“They know I’m a Little? I mean, that I was one?”

“We talked with them before I came to get you,” he answers. “They know you ARE a Little and that you’re a scared one right now. They don’t know why, and it’s none of their fucking business. We only told them about your Little side because I knew they would understand and know how to treat you. I hope that was okay.”

“I don’t mind,” I shrug.

And I truly don’t. I’ve never hidden this part of myself from anyone. After my parents were killed, I went to live with my grandparents. My papaw was the one who actually told me his suspicions when I was seventeen and still loved cartoons, jammies, coloring, and toys.

He sat me down and said he had something to share with me.

That conversation changed my entire life.

“You ready?”

“Not even a little,” I sigh, gluing myself to Steel’s side.

Let’s get this over with.