Chapter 9
nine
Luke
R age burns through my chest. Someone… three bastards harmed my sweet Sierra. Clenching my beer bottle is the only thing keeping me from standing and pounding my fist against the wall. I try to slow my breathing and gain some semblance of control.
Sierra takes both my hand and my claw, holding them together between her palms. “Like you, I had nightmares revisiting every second of what happened. Like you, I fought those memories rather than accepting what happened. Every person has some tragedy. Thank god not everyone has to deal with debilitating events like we have.”
“What happened to those goddamn bastards?”
She strokes her hand over my prosthesis and I swear I feel her touch as though my hand was there and normal. A shudder makes my muscles contract and the claw opens in response. What the hell?
“Ended up in prison. Two are still there.” Obviously trying to distract me, she keeps stroking my claw, then my normal hand. A sensual haze settles over my brain. And in my dick. I’m losing focus.
“The third? He was released?” If so, I’ll find him and make him truly pay for what he did. Wait, where did that come from? Violence solves nothing. The growing emotions I feel for Sierra are changing me. Or is she helping me discover who I could be?
“In a way.”
Is she answering my unspoken thought? She’s uncannily good at sensing my emotions and knowing the best way to react. “What way?”
“He got on the wrong side of some of the other prisoners. The guards found him dead in his cell. I never asked for details.”
“That’s probably a good thing.”
“Yes. And now by accepting what happened to me, I’ve been able to keep that pain in the past, oh, probably ninety-five percent of the time. There are still rare moments when something triggers me. I can handle those episodes better now. I know how to defuse and lessen the effects.”
“And you think I can do that, too.” I want her belief in me to be true, to become fact. I’ve wallowed in self-condemnation for over a year and I’m not sure how to change. The pain is what I know. It’s… comfortable.
Lost in our private thoughts, we sit in silence. I have no clue how much time passes before she slaps her knee and stands.
“The sun’s out today. That’s a good sign. I could use a walk and some fresh air. Come with me.”
It’s not a question and not quite a demand and when she holds out her hand to me, I stand and twine my fingers through hers.
She rewards me with a smile that I feel down to my toes. “Earlier I thought about taking you up on your offer to drive me around that property but we’ve had beer on empty stomachs. Not much, I know, still I don’t want to take any chances.”
“I agree. A walk then. To clear our heads.”
With bottled water and protein bars from Sierra’s pack, we take our time wandering through the dense forest. Surrounded by the trees with her at my side I find a peace I’d forgotten was possible. We don’t say much yet somehow I sense there’s a deep connection building between us. When we pause to listen to and watch the numerous wild creatures and birds making their homes among the trees, she eases closer and I wrap my arm around her shoulders. Her hand slips around my waist.
I feel almost—normal.
My body’s reaction to her closeness is awkward and uncomfortable accenting that sense of normalcy. Shifting does little to ease the pressure of my dick against my jeans. And from her teasing grin, she’s enjoying my discomfort.
Sierra stands in front of me and rests her palms against my chest. Holding my gaze, she rises on her toes to kiss me. Pressing her full, lush body against mine, she deepens the kiss. Both of my hands drop to her hips then slide around to cup her ass and encourage her closer until my dick is captured against her soft belly.
I feel her smile before her tongue darts into my mouth to explore and tease. Leaving me breathless, she steps back. “Good start, honey.”
My brain isn’t catching up with the moment. “Start?”
Taking my hand, she walks away, pulling me unresisting behind her. “Hmm, yeah. Remember my plan for today? Divesting you of your V-card? I’m tired of waiting.”
Tired of waiting? Without realizing it until I met her, I’ve been waiting for someone like Sierra all of my adult life. No not just someone. Her. She calms my demons. She’s not repulsed by my deformity. Beautiful, soft, intelligent. She’s too good to be true. Too good for me. “Sierra, you don’t?—”
“Oh, I know I don’t have to. I want to. I want to be with you. Explore what we could have and be together. Simply put, I want you, Luke.”
She glances at the front of my jeans. “And you want me. We’re consenting, healthy adults alone in the mountains. Why shouldn’t we enjoy ourselves? And I…”
Pink infuses her face, an amazingly beautiful compliment to her loose, burgundy curls. “You what?” I ask, my voice rough.
“Never mind… for now. Let’s go destroy your innocence.”
The paths we take returning to the cabin are more direct, our pace quicker. “I may never have had actual sex, but I’m not innocent,” I tell Sierra as I help her over a fallen tree. “I know what goes on, what to do. You don’t spend years with a fire crew that’s mostly guys without hearing stories and a shit-ton of bragging. Undoubtedly exaggerated. So I’ve got untested knowledge of what women like. What they expect.”
She gives me a long, appraising look. “And I suppose you’ve watched porn, too? Now that really sets up realistic expectations.”
I press my hand to my chest. “You wound me. But, okay. Yeah, you could say I learned a lot during my college years.”
“Seriously, Luke, why haven’t you ever? And don’t tell me you’ve never had opportunities.”
I shrug. “I suppose the reasons are difficult for someone who hasn’t made this choice to understand. It’s not religious. Just what I felt was right for me. And yeah, there’ve been many opportunities. Women seem to like me. You’ve heard of women who are groupies of hockey players? Puck bunnies?” I wait for her to nod. “There’s women who hang around firefighters the same way. At one time I enjoyed some heavy petting but when I wouldn’t go any further, I got dumped.”
“I can’t imagine that’s good for the ego.”
I think for a moment. “Nah. Didn’t bother me much. Those women weren’t… they weren’t you.”
Her hazel eyes darken to brown. “Well, hell then. What are we waiting for?”
At the cabin she pulls me directly to my bedroom and makes a show of closing the door tightly. “Our own little world,” she says and reaches for my claw. “Let’s take this off. Not that I find it disgusting or any of those other thoughts you’ve got running through your head right now. It’ll just be easier.”
The only thought in my desire-hazed brain is that I don’t know what to do. Frozen by the possible repercussions, I must look like a frightened animal caught in a trap. Only I want to be in this trap. Want to be captured by her.
With her assistance my prosthetic and harness are removed and Sierra leads me to the bed. “Luke, honey, what’s wrong?”
Is this my failure number four? I close my eyes and imagine throwing away the list of all my failures and fears. Sierra strokes her fingertips along the skin at the edge of my beard. I have to say something. The truth is what she deserves to hear, even if it chases her away.
“The women I’ve dated always seemed to want me to make the first move. Even just when making out. I don’t know why but that’s difficult for me. I don’t… it’s not always comfortable. Being the decision maker is… Hell, I don’t know. I don’t understand it myself so how do I explain it to you?”
Tilting her head, she studies me until the need to squirm nearly chases me from the room. Finally she rests her palm over my heart. It responds by beating faster, harder. Can she feel how much I need her to understand?
“I think I’ve got this right. You tell me. For whatever reason sometimes you’re not comfortable taking the lead in a sexual encounter, no matter how tame. Am I right so far?”
Relieved, I nod.
“Then would it be more pleasurable for you if I take charge this time?”
She gets it. She gets me. “Yes, I think so.”
“And you’ll do what I say?” Her nose wrinkles in a sweet, sexy way. “Nothing crazy, just suggestions and directions on how to please me? To bring us both pleasure?”
My body responds to the unknown possibilities as a sensual tremor speeds over my skin. “Yes, Sierra. Please help me.”
“All righty then.” She steps back and crosses her arms. “Take off your shirt.”
My hand reaches for the hem of my tee, intending to tug it over my head. A flash of doubt makes me pause.
“Luke, look at me. Your shirt. Just your shirt. Off. Now. Be a good boy and do as I say.”
The desire to please her rushes through me. Yes. That’s what I need. Without thinking about the action, I rip off my tee and toss it toward the laundry basket. Then I move my hand toward the button of my jeans. These should come off next and give my hardening dick room to grow.
“No,” Sierra’s commands, holding up one hand, palm facing me. “The jeans stay on. As handsome as I’m sure it is, I don’t want to see your hard cock until we’re both ready for…” Her brows arch high and she laughs. “…coitus.”
Humor escapes me in this moment. All I know is a miasma of desire and uncertainty. “Now what?”
“You will undress me. Everything goes.” A wicked glint shines from her eyes. “Except my panties.”
Urgency, and having only one hand, make me fumble with buttons and her jeans zipper. Once her legs are bare and I’ve freed her heavy breasts, she lifts them to me. “You may kiss my nipples.”
“Sierra,” I groan and bend forward to do as she says. Her creamy skin contrasts with her dusky pink areolas tempting me to do more than kiss. I need those firm tips in my mouth. Tasting her skin becomes my only focus so I swirl my tongue around her distended nipple before sucking it hard.
Her gasp and how her fingernails scrape against my scalp encourage me to treat myself to her other breast. So lost in the wonder of her body and her intoxicating kisses, I’m not sure how we end up on the bed wrapped tightly in each other. Breaking our kiss, she stokes the side of my face. “It’s time for my panties to go.”
I skim my fingers down her side and hook them in the elastic at her hip but she grabs my hand. “No, not like that, honey. With your teeth.”
“Then may I taste you?” I have little success calming my heavy breaths while waiting for her answer. Each inhale carries her scent. The slight coconut of her hair and skin. The tart-sweet aroma of her arousal. During this time of firsts, I need to experience as much of her as I can. There’s no guarantee I’ll have a second chance.
“You damn well better.” Her voice softens. “Have you…”
Brushing my beard over her distended nipple I shake my head. “I have not. Please tell me what you need. What feels good. If I’m doing this right.”
Her back arches and I take soft, barely there nips down the length of her body. With the top elastic of her panties firmly between my teeth, I tug and wrestle the silky fabric to her thighs then down her legs. I remove them completely from one leg but leave them hanging from her other ankle.
The flutter of fabric with her restless movements is like a flag waving at a bull and I waste no time kissing along her leg until I reach the thatch of dark brown hair covering her mound. Touching her inner thigh encourages her to spread her legs wider and I settle between them.
Silently cursing the fact I have only one hand to aid my exploration, I use my fingers to tease my way to her clit. My tongue follows and I’m rewarded with her sharp cry and her hands in my hair. No words are needed. Only her sighs and gasps, the sometimes not so gentle tugs on my hair, and her writhing body show me what she wants.
I explore her entrance and lap at her flavor. I thought her kisses addicting. Now that I’m learning her essence, the touch, scents, sounds, and the taste of her, I will never be satisfied. I’ll always want more.
As her cries escalate, so does the certainty. She is mine. She will always be mine. “Mine,” I whisper as my fingers dance inside her.
“Yes,” she moans, unknowingly agreeing with me. “Oh, there. Luke, right there.”
She explodes with a sharp cry and a wavering trill as she rides the crest of her orgasm. Selfish for more, I give her only a moment’s peace before beginning again. This time she comes with a silent scream I feel deep in my soul. I crawl up her body, dragging my soaked fingers over her skin, then hold her close.
My dick is throbbing, ready to burst from my jeans, zipper and fabric be damned. I press and arch against her hip, but dry humping offers me no relief.
“Sierra?”
Her eyes open slowly, her pupils full and dazed. “Luke. You’re sure you’ve never done that before.”
“Yeah, I think I’d remember. I’m dyin’ here, Sierra.”
A bit of the desire fades and her eyes open wide. “Get out of those jeans, honey.” She slips from my embrace and sits up. “Then lay down propped up on the pillows.”
Never before experiencing such intense need, I groan as my unbelievably hard dick is freed. Under her watchful eye, I stretch out like she told me.
“Here,” she says and hands me another pillow. “Let’s put this one behind your shoulders, too.” Once it’s in position, she teases my lips as she moves over me to straddle my thighs.
She leans back and grins. “Looks like neither one of us want to wait any longer. I want you to put your hand and your stump on my shoulders.”
When I do, she wraps her hand around my length. “Watch, honey, watch how your cock enters me. Fills me. God, Luke, watch how you please me.”
She rises up, positions me, then slowly sinks. Watching my dick disappear into her is indescribable. Her heat surrounds me, her slick walls draw me in. I stare at our joining until I’m fully seated in her then flick my gaze to her face. Her head’s fallen back, her eyes are closed, her lips parted in bliss.
“Fuck, Luke,” she moans. “You feel better than I hoped. So good, honey.” Her eyes open and she adjusts her position. “Congratulations, you are no longer a virgin. Now, let’s do this.”
She rises slowly, exposing my dick covered with her glistening arousal. “Like what you see, honey?”
I growl a response and arch up into her and she laughs and spasms around me. Together we create a symphony of rising desire, a dance of give and take, of belonging. Eternity stills and it’s only the two of us.
“I’m close,” she moans.
Taking complete control, I flip us and she looks up at me in surprise. Using a folded pillow as a solid support for my stump, I lift my shoulders and pound into her. Encouragement pours from her in words and sighs. She wraps her legs around my waist, opening wider for my thrusts.
“Come for me, Sierra.”
Barely able to form words, she still grins. “You… giving… orders… now? God, Luke. I…”
Her keen is one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard. Her inner walls squeeze around me and I press her hips deep into the mattress. The sharp, short jerking thrusts of my release drive another burst of pleasure from my woman.
My woman. I will never give her up.
I just don’t know how I’m going to keep her.