Chapter 1
Kieran
Something touched my face. I was upright before I was awake.
The crack of the platform still echoed in my skull.
In the dark, a small figure beside me jumped back.
My hands swung wildly, hitting flesh.
“Kieran!” Seph’s voice rang out. “It’s me!”
“Seph?” I said, as she emerged from the shadows.
“Sorry I scared you. You were yelling…” she replied shakily.
I switched on the lamp. Light cut through the darkness. Seph stood there fully dressed, gloves and all, fidgeting with the leather at her wrists. She looked flushed, her eyes wild.
“I was heading back to my room when I heard you. Are you okay?”
I watched her for a moment as the dream retreated. Her hair was loose in silver-white waves around her face. Her eyes shone with concern.
“How long have you been here?” I rubbed my face, still feeling the phantom touch of her gloves.
“Just for a moment.”
I stared at her. “Did you touch me?”
“I had gloves on, so you were safe,” she stepped back, defensive. “I would never hurt you.”
I watched the pain settle in her eyes and clenched my jaw. I hated that I had put it there.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I’m not afraid of you, Seph. I never was.”
She twisted her hands and looked away.
I took a slow breath. I dragged a hand down my face. “What time is it?”
“Around two?” she said quietly, glancing toward the door. “If you’re okay, I should go.”
“You don’t have to—” I said quickly. I reached for her — then stopped myself.
She gave me a small smile. “If I don’t, Ash will come hunting for me.”
“He’s still living in your room?”
“I need to get him a cot. At the moment, he insists on sleeping on the floor.”
She smiled at the thought, soft and fond.
I missed her smiling at me. I hadn’t realised how much.
She glanced at the door again, and I realised that I didn’t want her to leave yet.
“What are you doing up anyway?” I asked.
I stood and pulled a jumper over my bare chest. Her gaze flickered to my bare skin. She blushed and looked away.
“Sy won’t come in,” she said, keeping her face averted. “He keeps guarding the door to my room. So, I was sitting with him.”
“What does he think he’s protecting you from? You’re safe here. You know that.”
“He’s a dragon, K. You expect him to be normal?” She folded her arms tight, then dropped them again. “I’m going to go back—”
“Please don’t,” I hated how it sounded like a plea. “Stay with me.”
She looked away.
“K.”
“Kieran,” I said quietly. “I told you to call me that.”
“Yeah,” she said. “You told me a lot of things.”
She finally looked back at me.
“You just didn’t tell me the important ones.”
A bitter note had entered her voice, and I hated it.
“Seph,” I said carefully. “You have to know I didn’t want to keep Sable from you.”
She laughed — sharp and humourless.
“Actually, I don’t,” she said, anger bleeding into her eyes. “You keep so much else from me.”
“Seph, it wasn’t safe – “
“Safe for who?” she shot back. “For me?”
She stepped forward. “Or for you?”
“I didn’t want you involved in all this, Seph. What’s wrong with that?”
“You never even gave me a chance! You were my best friend. I told you things – “ She shook her head.
“Even when things were shitty, I always knew I had you, Kieran. You were just there, with me. You didn’t judge me or hate me for being different. And to know none of it was real – “
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Seph. You have no idea how sorry.” I swallowed. “But we made a call.”
The word felt wrong even as I said it.
“I made a call.”
“We,” she whispered. “You and Sable made a call about my life, you mean. One that didn’t include me.”
“Neither one of us wanted to draw attention to you. We thought we were protecting you.”
Her mouth twisted. “From what exactly, Kieran?”
She stepped back, putting distance between us.
“From my father? From Marr?”
Her voice dropped, steady and lethal.
“I don’t think you realise this — but it didn’t work.”
“Seph – “
“If you’re okay, I’m going to go to bed,” she said quietly. “I’m tired.”
She turned toward the door.
I was out of bed in a second.
“Wait. Seph—”
She stopped.
“What do you need me to do?” I asked, desperation creeping into my voice. “How can I fix this between us?”
She paused, then turned back. Her face was still, like she was holding too much inside and couldn’t afford to let any of it spill.
“You can’t fix it, Kieran,” she said softly. “Not now. There’s too much gone wrong.”
She met my eyes.
“There’s been too many lies. Too much pain.”
“I never lied about caring for you,” I said, cutting myself short of saying what I really felt. “I was always your friend.”
“Then prove it,” she said softly.
I stared at her, trying to reconcile the girl I knew with this defiant force before me.
“I don’t know how yet,” I said honestly. “But I promise I will.”
She studied me for a long moment, then offered a small smile.
“That’s a dangerous word, Kieran,” she said quietly. “Don’t use it lightly.”
She took a breath, turned, and left the room, leaving me alone.