Chapter 26
Seph
Sable was waiting in my room when I returned.
She stood near the bed with a bag clenched in her fist, shoulders tight. I stopped short when I saw it.
“Sable… what’s going on?”
She hesitated, jaw working like she was grinding something down.
“Nothing,” she said flatly. Then, after a beat, quieter, “I just thought… today was rough. And maybe I could stay. Tonight. Like we used to.”
My chest tightened. “I thought you were angry at me.”
Her mouth thinned. “I am.”
The honesty hit harder than denial ever could.
“You never should’ve left,” she went on. “That part hasn’t changed.” She glanced away, then back at me, eyes sharp but tired. “But I realised something.”
“What?”
She exhaled slowly. “I keep judging your choices like they’re mine to make. Like I’d have done better.” A bitter huff. “Truth is, you didn’t know what would happen. None of us did.”
She shifted the bag in her grip, fingers whitening.
“I don’t have to like what you did,” she said. “But I don’t get to punish you for it either.”
I offered her a small smile. “Thank you.”
She rolled her eyes.
“Besides. We haven’t really talked since I – “
“Came back from the dead?” I said quietly.
Her gaze didn’t waver. “I didn’t mean to hurt you then.”
“But you aren’t sorry either.”
Sable didn’t flinch. “No. I’m not. I would do it again.”
That stung more than I expected.
“Was it all a set-up?” I asked. “The escape. Everything. Would you have brought me here if you could?”
“I wanted to,” she admitted. “Maybe I should have tried harder. At least then—”
“At least what?”
She hesitated — which meant it mattered.
“At least you would have understood the board you’re standing on.”
I sat beside her slowly. “You mean Ash, Dev, and Sy.” I swallowed. “And Kieran.”
“Yes.”
“What about them?”
Sable exhaled through her nose. “You don’t understand what they are to each other.”
“Don’t I?”
“No.” Her voice was steady, not cruel. “Kieran was recruited years ago. Elliot hand-picked him after Levi Hawthorne died. They were practically family.”
“From the moment Elliot recruited him, Kieran had one goal.”
“Revenge,” I said flatly. “Against our parents.”
“Yes.” Her eyes held mine. “They killed his father in front of him.”
The words landed, but I didn’t let them sink.
“When he moved next door—”
“It was planned,” I cut in. “I know. He told me.”
“Did he tell you he was supposed to use us?” Sable asked quietly. “That hurting us was part of the strategy?”
For half a second, something cold slid through me.
My jaw locked.
“Kieran would never do that.”
“He was meant to,” she said. “But then something changed. He changed.”
Sable sighed. “He’d always been driven. But he softened. Maybe it was something about us.”
About me.
“Soft?” I snorted. That was not the word I would use to describe him now.
But then I thought of the nights he’d played his guitar from his window — just to make me smile.
It didn’t fit.
K and Kieran felt like two different men.
“When we were together,” Sable continued, “he started telling me things.”
I stiffened. “If this is about whatever happened between you and Kieran, I don’t need the details.”
“It’s not about that,” she snapped. “It’s about Equinox.”
Her voice dropped, controlled again.
“Kieran isn’t just some soldier. He recruits. He builds teams. He hand-picked Ash. He hand-picked Dev. And he picked me. Our unit? It’s one of Elliot’s best.”
A cold weight settled low in my stomach.
“Why are you telling me this?”
“Because we don’t just fight together,” Sable said evenly. “We trust each other with our lives. Our group has never fractured. Not once.”
She let that hang.
“And then you came along.”
Silence stretched between us.
“I’m not calling you a weakness,” she added carefully. “But today? They split up. They made emotional calls. They took risks they wouldn’t have taken before.”
My pulse started to pound.
“You think that’s my fault?”
“I think,” she said calmly, “you don’t understand your impact.”
That hit harder than blame.
I really looked at her then — and for a flicker of a second, I saw our father in her eyes. Measuring. Calculating.
“So what would you suggest?” I asked coolly. “That I disappear? I’m not in a relationship with any of them.”
“Are you sure they know that?” Sable asked.
I thought of Dev’s impassive face. The knives. The wall.
“Yeah,” I said, bitterness creeping in. “They know.”
“All of them?” she pressed. “Including Ash? Including Sy?”
“Sy has nothing to do with Equinox. He’s here for me. The others and I are just friends.”
“If that were entirely true,” Sable replied, steady as ever, “Ash wouldn’t be sleeping in your room. Kieran wouldn’t be watching you like you’re the only fixed point in his world.”
She paused.
“And Dev—”
“I don’t want to talk about Dev – “
“We have to!” Sable interrupted. “Seph, you have to see it, right?”
“See what, Sable?” I snapped back.
“For gods’ sake,” she said finally, almost exasperated, “Dev orbits you and you don’t even realise.”
I gave a sharp, humourless laugh. “Dev?” I said. “Dev just called me a ‘glitch’.”
The word tasted sour.
“Kieran’s made it clear where I stand — and it isn’t beside him.” I lifted my chin. “And Sy chose to protect me. That’s his role. There’s nothing romantic in that.”
“And Ash?” she asked.
I didn’t answer.
She stepped closer.
“You don’t get to pretend you don’t feel that one,” she said quietly.
“Why are you doing this?” I snapped. “Am I supposed to live alone, Sable? Is that what you want? To never touch anyone? To never have a choice? Because I can’t go back to that. I won’t.”
Her jaw tightened.
“This isn’t about you being alone.”
Silence stretched.
“It’s about what happens when you lose control.”
The words settled heavy in the air.
“You know what you can do,” she continued. “You know what happens when you get overwhelmed.”
She looked at me. “How will you handle intimacy with them, Seph? Do you even know?”
My throat tightened. I thought of the way Dev had touched me. How he made me feel beautiful just for one night.
Nothing had broken. Nothing had burned.
But how could I make her understand that?
“I haven’t hurt any of them, Sable.”
The words came out quieter than I meant them to.
“Does that mean you won’t?”
I stared at her. “I’m not stupid, Sable. No one understands what I can do more than me. I’m not dumb enough to risk their lives for my goddamn hormones.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You already distract them, Seph. Look what happened today. Isn’t that enough?”
“You think that’s all I am?” I shot back. “A distraction? A weakness?”
“No,” she said sharply. “I think you’re a catalyst.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Seph, they’re elite because they operate clean. Clean loyalties. Clean focus. Today? They fractured.”
I swallowed.
“Seph… they’re not thinking clearly around you. And you know that.”
“Sable, I really care about them,” I said quietly.
“I know you do,” she said gently. “Which is why you should let them go. You know it’s the right thing to do.”
Let them go.
I waited a pause and said. “You know, actually I’m not feeling well. Maybe you shouldn’t stay tonight.”
“Seph,” Sable sighed.
“I’m not upset. I’m just tired. Really.” I said evenly, forcing a smile. “A good night’s sleep will make all the difference.
“Ok, well, you know where I am,” she got up and moved for the door.
“If I need you, I’ll call.”
It was only when the door clicked shut that I let the tears fall.