Chapter 5 #2
"Richard, there's something I need to tell you."
He didn't stop walking.
God, was my voice too quiet? Or was he just not listening?
"It's important!" I raised my voice. He couldn't ignore that.
Richard finally paused and turned to look at me.
"I've got a video call with the Asia team later. Whatever it is, tell me after."
With that, he strode toward his study.
I stood there, watching his back vanish around the corner.
Again.
What was huge to me was nothing to him.
I waited in the bedroom until after one a.m., then fell asleep.
When I woke, it was morning.
I lay in the big bed. Richard's side showed no sign of use. But looking down, I saw I'd been changed into pajamas—the set he'd bought me a week ago, too plain, so I'd never worn it.
Richard had come back, changed me while I slept, then left for who knows where.
I stared at the ceiling. Before overhearing what he really thought of me, this would've made me cry with joy. Now, I wanted to cry from rage. I hated how his random kindnesses made me think I could win his love.
I sat up, heading for the bathroom, when a sharp pain twisted in my abdomen, sudden and brutal, like something inside got wrung out.
My hand clamped down on my belly, face draining white.
No. No, no, no, no.
I scrambled into clothes, grabbed the car keys, and bolted out.
All the anger, all the sadness—nothing compared to the terror of losing this baby.
The hospital's antiseptic smell made me nauseous.
Blood draws, ultrasounds... I went through half a dozen tests, then sat in the exam chair, staring at the overhead lights. Every second of waiting stretched like forever.
Damn Richard, damn party, damn Olivia, damn dressing room, damn me. I didn't protect you, baby. Sorry, so sorry...
"Mrs. Winston," the doctor came out with the report, face serious, "I'm afraid the embryo's viability is unstable. We've detected signs of threatened miscarriage. We need to administer progesterone injections immediately to sustain the pregnancy, but it requires family consent."
I didn't hesitate, dialing Richard.
It rang several times before he picked up.
"What is it?" His background was noisy, like some bustling spot.
"I'm at the hospital. I need you here now—"
"I'm busy, Natalie." He cut me off.
Then a woman's voice came through, close to him.
"Richard, do these earrings match my outfit today?" Olivia said on the other end.
"They're fine," Richard replied. High praise from him.
"Thanks for coming with me. You're the best shopping buddy ever."
"Natalie."
He remembered me?
"I'll send David to the hospital," Richard said and hung up.
I stood in the bright corridor, phone in hand, ears ringing. Nothing else registered.
Richard was shopping with Olivia. Buying her earrings. Would they kiss next, fuck? While our baby might never make it into the world.
"Natalie? Oh my God, what are you doing here?"
I heard a familiar voice and turned to see Gina. Her white coat over a sharp shirt and pencil skirt, signature red hair in a messy ponytail.
She was my best friend, Ethelred Hospital's dean.
She looked like she'd just left a meeting, folder in hand. Seeing me zoned out in the hallway, she rushed over and grabbed my arm.
"Honey, you look like a truck hit you and backed up... What's this?" She glanced at my test results, eyes widening in shock, voice jumping, "You're pregnant?! God, where's Richard? How could he leave you alone like this?"
I shook my head, tears streaming.
Not sure if for the baby we might lose or the marriage I sensed was crumbling.
"Gina, help me. I need the shots to save this baby. They want a signature..."
"OK, don't panic. The report looks manageable. I'll handle it. Breathe." Gina took the sheet, scanning it while soothing me.
She steered me into the doctor's office. "Give her the progesterone now! Right away!"
After the injection, I lay on the observation bed. When Gina heard why Richard hadn't shown, she looked madder than me.
"That bastard Richard did this to you? That arrogant, cold-blooded prick! Let him and his Olivia rot in hell!"
I opened my mouth, but my phone buzzed.
A text from Richard.
Richard: "Which hospital are you in?"
God, I was too pissed to cry.
Did Richard leave his brain at the mall with Olivia?
As his wife, the Winston family matron, wouldn't I be at L.A.'s top spot, Ethelred Hospital?
With his pull, finding out was child's play.
I didn't want to reply.
Gina snatched my phone, blocked his number swiftly, then looked at me with pity. "Natalie, sweetie, you need a comfy bed and someone close to care for you. I fit both. Come home with me. I swear, I won't ditch you for anything."
I didn't refuse.
Because Blackwood Manor had only a guy who saw me as a fuck toy.
If Gina hadn't offered, I'd rather sleep under a bridge than go back.
Gina's apartment was full of her life.
Cartoon pillows scattered on the couch, heels everywhere, medical books piled messily on the coffee table, and right in the living room, our college graduation photo hung.
This was what a home looked like.
I hadn't had one in ages.
Blackwood Manor was always spotless, everything sorted by use, color, size. I'd lived in that cold place for two years.
Natalie, love really blinded you.
Gina brought me pajamas, a mug of hot milk, then plopped down beside me, curling into the sofa like she wasn't going anywhere.
"Don't you have an afternoon meeting?"
"Canceled it."
"Gina—"
"Natalie, I'm the dean. I can ditch any meeting I want," she said. "And with you like this, leaving you alone would kill me with guilt."
I looked at Gina, at her brow furrowed with concern for me, and my nose stung.
Tears came without warning.
"Oh no," Gina set the mug down, "Natalie, don't cry. No, cry. Let it out, it'll help."
"What the fuck have I been doing these past two years?
" I sobbed. "I gave up my hobbies, tried to become what he wanted, practiced smiling at those damn parties so he wouldn't say I wasn't elegant enough.
.. I even took fucking flower-arranging classes because he said 'A Winston wife needs refined hobbies'!
And what? My arrangements ended up as trash can decor for those society bitches!
They talked right in front of me about how perfect Olivia and Richard are together!
From the day I married him, they've looked down on me! "
By the end, I was angrier than anything.
Natalie, you bent over backward for a man for two years! So stupid!
"Those ladies are just trust-fund vampires living off gossip," Gina wiped my tears with a tissue. "Natalie, you're prettier, funnier, younger, more talented. Trust me, you're a hundred times better."
"Two years ago, I thought so too. Problem is, Richard doesn't," I said. "He denied me so long, I started believing it."
"That's because Richard's an idiot."
"But he's L.A.'s top businessman."
"Natalie, those aren't mutually exclusive," Gina said. "Genius in business, total moron in marriage—plenty like him. Hey, babe. You deserve a guy who'd punch those gossips for you, put you before meetings and everyone else. A real man."
We sat quietly for a bit, then Gina stood, went to her study, and came back with a box of cards. She sat down, rifled through, and handed me one. "This is Mara Cohen, L.A.'s best divorce lawyer. Thinking about it?"
I took the card, staring at it.
"I've been planning to," I said.
Gina seemed relieved. She eyed my belly softly. "The baby? When will you tell him?"
"No. I won't tell Richard about the pregnancy. If he knows, he won't divorce me." I touched my stomach.
I wouldn't let my kid have a dad who fucks around with other women. He doesn't care about family, about me—probably wouldn't care about the baby either.
"Gina, please." I looked at her. "I need a miscarriage certificate."
To leave the Winstons for good, leave Richard, I had to.
I'd tell him our child was gone.