Chapter 11
STACY
Leaving the twins with Eleanor and Mary was becoming a habit that Stacy did not necessarily like. She understood the need at times, but she felt like she was leaving them behind. Which was ridiculous. She had left them with both of the same women time and again.
But that was before. Before Harry's diagnosis. Before Travis' return. And before she enjoyed nights out.
Travis held the door open for her, as always, as she entered a nice looking office space. With the parent support groups up at the hospital Stacy had put off this particular meeting. Her brain had to focus on one life event at a time.
“Come in, have a seat. Make yourself comfortable,” a nice looking woman said from behind a neatly ordered desk. “I'm Josephine,” she stood and offered a hand.
Stacy took the proffered hand and gave a brief shake. “Stacy.”
“It's nice to officially meet you, Stacy. I would have come to visit you at the hospital but I didn't want you to think I was ambushing you there. I've been told I tend to not always leash my thoughts on situations.”
Stacy just nodded as she sat in the comfortable chair, which shocked Stacy. She was expecting a stuffy stiff cushion.
“How are you handling the anxiety of Echo, excuse me, Travis, leaving for work?”
Stacy stared at the woman across from her. She went right for the throat. Not even any easy settle-in question. Right to the heart of it.
“I told you she's good,” Travis whispered. “Remember, safe space, baby. Tell her all about it.”
Stacy's neck swiveled to meet Travis. “You knew?” Her heart pounded in her chest.
“I wouldn't have expected anything less, baby,” he gave her a small smile. “We've not yet been just us. We've had obstacles. Not that I'm complaining. Or I am, but that's a different subject,” boy did she understand that. “I want us to process this, resolve it, and move forward. If we don't, it could come back to bite us in the ass down the road. I don't want that.”
Stacy closed her eyes and inhaled, counted to three and sighed. “Overwhelmed, honestly. I'm not back to work, the kids are with me all day. I'm not complaining. I'm soaking it up. But when he leaves in the morning, even with a goodbye kiss, I become filled with nervous, anxious energy. Like he'll leave again.”
“Have you two hashed out that entire situation from six years ago?” Josephine asked and Stacy hesitated.
“I thought we had?” She poised it as a question. “I mean, what else is there to hash out? Yes, he left. Yes, he was in a terrible accident. Yes, he's apologized for not telling his family about me. What else is there?”
“I hear a bit of resentment in your tone about the family issue.”
Stacy glanced at Travis and then Josephine. Sighing, she opened her mouth as she focused on her hands. “One of the reasons I came to Indiana with you was because of the wonderful family you promised me. I didn't grow up with a family. I grew up in a group home. I wasn't really close with anyone as kids came and went all the time. I feel,” she took in a shuddering breath, “like all the people I've met from your family were just there out of pity.”
“Wait, Echo,” Josephine held up a hand stopping Travis from speaking. “I've got this. As I'm a part of that family, I'm going to speak candidly and out of character for a therapy session. Nothing our family does is out of pity. Now, did we feel for you, having just learned about Echo's whereabouts and little Harry? Yes. We did. But none of those ladies and men you met were there out of pity. You have been given a heavy burden, and you have carried it well. As time goes on, I hope you'll learn that the men and women of SOS are the family you need. On that note, I do want to invite you to the women's night out. Most of us get together at a local restaurant, some get a little tipsy, but we mainly enjoy one another's company and good food.”
Stacy nodded. She couldn't help how she felt. Her emotions had been yanked all over the place in the last two months. It was a wonder she wasn't breaking down constantly.
“That being said, Stacy, you are allowed to feel how you feel. Your feelings are valid. Until you are secure in this family, you may feel like an outsider. That tends to be the natural state of integration into a social group.”
“Like accepting Frank and Eleanor as parents?”
“Yes. Exactly. I bet that took you a while to connect the dots that they thought of you as family, right?”
Stacy nodded. “Probably too long,” she offered with a crooked smile.
“Okay, so let's circle back around. Is there anything Echo, Travis, could do to help ease your anxiety?”
Stacy glanced at the man in question. His face was covered in worry, his leg bounced a steady beat. “I'm not sure. Most of it is probably me and my fear of being abandoned again. I was by my parents young, and then,” she shrugged, “well, our situation. And I just, there's too much up in the air.”
She laid her hand out in the arm of the chair, smiling when he placed his hand in hers. “But I do know I want to make this work. I still love you, Travis,” she gazed deep into his eyes, “and I want to build that life together we once spoke about.”
ECHO
Hearing Stacy voice her concern was a punch to the gut. Echo knew his past actions were the cause of her anxiety, but hearing them, and not knowing how to fix it... well, he hated it.
He wished he could fix it. Or go back in time. But wishes didn't fix anything. Hard work would. Being there for her in all ways would.
Echo had royally fucked up by leaving. By not sharing her with his family. And he was going to pay for it for life. No matter how many times he apologized, it didn't seem to make a difference.
Which... was why they were there with Josephine.
Resolve. Move forward.
Communicate.
When Stacy held out her hand, Echo placed his in hers as if it was the lifeline he so needed.
“I still love you, Travis. And I want to build that life together we once spoke about.”
His chest quivered and ached. “I love you, so much, Stacy. I cannot apologize enough about my idiocy. My stupidity years ago.”
Echo pulled in a shaky breath. Here it was.
“I told you, I would do anything for you. If you want me to move out, and we date. Start over. If that will help, I'll do it. I may be sleeping on Mary's couch, but if we need to reset, then I'm okay with that.” He felt his chest tighten as he couldn't believe he was about to say what he was going to suggest.
“If you want a divorce. To find your way. With or without me.”
He didn't get to finish his statement as he ended up with a lap full of a crying Stacy. Her mumbled words registered. “No, no, no, please no. Don't leave me. I love you. I just need to work through my own anxiety. But I need you, Echo.”
“Travis,” he gritted out as she squeezed him, her knee precariously close to his groin.
“Travis. Please.”
He pulled her to the side, shifting her to sit on his lap. Staring into her eyes, he'd promise her anything.
“I still want to date you, baby. I've got anxiety over this too. Like you're going to see through me and leave.” She shook her head vehemently. “Then you need to believe me too when I say I'm not leaving.”
Stacy snorted a laugh. “Yeah. I know. There is just so much going on. The good news with Harry is great. And while it means more appointments. I also feel unstable.”
“How so, Stacy? Let's elaborate on that,” Josephine interjected.
Stacy sighed. “I'm not sure. Like everything is still up in the air. No routine.”
“Living arrangements,” Echo provided.
“Yes. And no. It's like we are in this new chapter and still stuck in the...” Stacy's eyes widened, her lips forming an O, “ooo, I'm still in the place I barely found while I was pregnant and alone. I had been evicted from our apartment. Had nothing to my name. And now you're back, and it's like it's not real. If that makes sense. Like I'm living this life but it feels unreal. Like living with a ghost.”
“I can definitely remedy the house issue.”
“How are we feeling now?” Josephine interrupted.
“Better. With now knowing part of the issue.”
“I do have some couples workbooks that I think might be helpful. I suggest these to any struggling couple, or couples who just need a leg up. With the last six years being apart, these may help. I also made up a questionnaire for you both to fill out and then share. It covers the last six years. Milestones. Significant and nonsignificant events. To help fill in the blanks. Your situation is rather unique. And it will take time to fully adjust. Keep that in mind. I do think a house is a good option. Then build from there. Any questions for me? Or anything else you want to hit on before we call it a day?”
Echo looked at Stacy, who shook her head no. They stood, grabbed the workbooks, and headed out.
“Hey,” Stacy shouted, tugging on his hand. “Where did you exactly live before you moved in?”
Huh? Guess they had skipped some important information. “That room I took you to at the lodge?” He smirked at her blush. “That's my room, my living quarters. Want me to take you there now to celebrate?” He waggled his eyebrows and she laughed.
“Make me yours, my husband,” she cooed, and jumped up to kiss him. He easily caught her and carried her to his truck.