Saturday, March 19th
Cat
It was good to get out of town, to leave it all behind for a little while. Well, most of it, at least, and after my come-to-Jesus heart-to-heart with my dad Wednesday morning, my remaining time in North Carolina provided me with a real chance to rest my tired mind.
I faithfully followed Ronan’s, Mr. Walker’s, and my mom’s advice not to respond to Adam’s messages anymore, to ignore him, despite my worry that he’ll make good on his word and post the pictures he has of me. He didn’t reach out to me again last Sunday after I didn’t respond. It’s been radio silence, and as far as I know, no pictures have shown up on the worldwide web just yet.
What has been eating at me, however, especially in the evenings, at bedtime, when it’s quiet and dark, is that I still haven’t had a chance to talk to Ronan since he abruptly ended our call last weekend. Sunday can’t come soon enough. I just hope he’ll call.
I make it back to New York around one p.m. this afternoon, then spend a little time doing laundry and sorting through my closet to get rid of clothes I haven’t worn in forever. It feels nice to declutter, and I mean that in both a literal and a figurative sense.
I have a late-afternoon lunch consisting of turkey melts before I pick up Vada at four o’clock and we drive to Shane’s together. It was Summer’s eighteenth birthday on Thursday, so we’re getting together to belatedly celebrate and to toast each other’s various college admissions. Tori was also accepted into NYU, and I’m so excited to have a built-in friend as I take this next step in life.
Vada is chipper on our drive, telling me about her plans to live in the dorms once she starts college in the fall. I can tell she’s excited about this adventure. Vada has been more herself lately, and I’m glad she seems to be coming out of her funk, even though it’s still hard to wrap my head around her breakup with Steve. I know they’ve been working hard to avoid any awkwardness, but that comes with the territory, and I dread what things will be like if and when either of them starts to date again.
“I have to say, I’m shocked that Shane isn’t throwing a giant party,” Vada says as I pull into the driveway of the beach house. The usual cars are parked in front of the four-car garage, indicating the presence of only our closest friends. Steve’s not here yet, though, and a flicker of elation crosses Vada’s face when she doesn’t spot his black Challenger. I know it still hurts her to be around him; he was her first real love, and the breakup hasn’t been easy on either of them.
When Vada and I clamber out of my car, I’m surprised to see everyone hanging out on the front portion of the wraparound deck, overlooking the driveway rather than the ocean.
“What the heck?” Vada says once we make our way up the stairs and walk through the front doors, through the living area, and back out to the front of the deck.
“The back portion of the deck just got painted, so the fire pit and all the lounge chairs have been temporarily relocated to this fine spot,” Shane grumbles, semi-annoyed. “So, we can all just enjoy this gorgeous view of… the road and the driveway.”
I laugh. “We could go down to the beach.” I wrap my arms around Shane to give him a warm hug.
“I figured we could hang out up here for a little while and eat and stuff, so we don’t have to schlep everything down to the dunes. The hot tub got moved, too.” He points to his left where the large tub is already steaming.
Vada just nods. “So, no giant party tonight?” she asks with a look to Summer and Zack.
“Shane didn’t really feel like it, and honestly, that was fine with me,” Summer says.
“You miss your boyfriend, huh?” Tori asks teasingly and pinches Shane’s butt.
Shane chuckles. “I sure do. Cat, anything new? Any more texts from Mr. Deathwish over here?”
I snort a quick laugh at Shane’s new nickname for Adam, then provide a quick update.
“Have you heard from Ran at all?” I finally check with Shane.
He shakes his head. “Nope, nothing since his five-second call last weekend.”
I sigh, and Shane pats my shoulder.
“We both miss our boyfriend,” he says.
“Yeah, we do,” I say.
But I suddenly have an epiphany. “Wait, have you guys heard anything about the trial? What’s the date?” Zack and Shane are both witnesses. I know they’ve been interviewed by the cops and some investigator from the D.A.’s office. I’m sure they’d know when they’ll be required to testify.
“Uh, well, I know from my dad it’s on the court calendar for April 11th, but that’s about it,” Zack says with a shrug.
“So, we know Ran must be coming home in a few weeks then, right?” Shane asks, expressing exactly my thoughts.
Zack shrugs. “Yeah, I would think so, but I have no clue how soon before the trial. I don’t even know if the D.A. has talked to him or whatever. My dad can’t really tell me much about this stuff.”
“Why isn’t your dad prosecuting the case?” Summer asks.
“My dad had to assign it out because it was a conflict of interest,” Vada explains in place of Zack. “Because he’s so close with Frank and obviously knows Rica, he feels too emotionally invested, so he gave it to another prosecutor.”
“He’s super pissed about the whole thing,” Zack says. “He keeps saying he hopes Rica rots in hell.”
“She’d deserve it,” Tori says. We all nod affirmatively.
“Alright, why don’t we stop with the depressing shit,” Shane says with a heavy tone.
He’s right. We can all spend hours, days, or weeks talking shit about Ronan’s mom and analyzing everything that happened, but we’re here to celebrate Summer’s birthday and have as much fun as we can.
We sit around the deck, enjoying the fire that provides warmth as the sun slowly sets to the west and it starts to cool down.
“I still can’t believe Zack is heading to California,” Shane says after taking another sip from his beer. We just spent the last half hour talking about everyone’s college plans. Zack got into both UCLA and NYU—his dream schools—and he turns his head toward us, grinning, while leaning forward and resting his elbow on the deck railing.
“Honestly, I’m still in shock, too,” he says, happiness radiating from his face. “I mean, it’s going to be different being away from everyone, but it’s what I’ve wanted for a long time, so it’ll be good.”
“Have you decided which school you’ll attend in the fall?” Tori asks Vada.
“U of Penn,” Vada states matter-of-factly. “Go Quakers,” she says, making Tori laugh.
“How about you, Cat? NYU?” Shane asks with a knowing grin. I haven’t shared my final decision with anyone but my parents, but Shane obviously figured I’d end up making this choice.
I nod. “Yep, go… whatever NYU’s mascot is, I guess,” I say, and now Vada laughs, too.
Shane chuckles. “Staying close to the boyfriend?”
“Absolutely.”
“That’s good.” Shane nods. “You guys have some catching up to do.”
“Steve’s here,” Zack says.
I see headlights make their way down the private road leading to the house. “In Ran’s car,” he says, and my heart gives a little jolt. Every time Steve pulls up in Ronan’s Mustang, or any time I sit in it, the ache of missing Ronan momentarily increases. It’s like I can connect with a piece of Ronan when I run my hands over the car’s interior, knowing that Ronan’s hands have touched it, too.
“Wait… what the hell?” Zack says.
I have no idea what’s going on and I raise my eyebrows at Vada. She just shrugs.
“No fucking way,” Zack says, his voice rising, almost pitchy with excitement.
“What’s happening?” Vada asks her brother, irritated.
“No. Fucking. Way,” Zack repeats even louder. He turns toward us, a giant grin on his face. “It’s Ran.”
“The fuck you talking about?” Shane gets up from his spot on the sofa to walk toward the railing.
“It’s Ran! He’s back.” Zack smacks Shane hard on the back, then turns to me with a wide smile. “Your boyfriend’s here.”
As though invisible hands move me, I get out of my seat, followed by Vada. I walk toward the railing and look down toward the driveway where Ronan’s satin-black Mustang is parked.
Steve climbs out of the passenger side, his face happy and relaxed. If Steve isn’t driving Ronan’s car, that can only mean one thing.
The driver’s door opens and Ronan steps out of his car—safe, and whole, and oh so perfect.
As if he can somehow sense me, he looks up to the deck. Our eyes connect and his face breaks into the most incredible smile.
It’s an unrelenting pull, a lasso tightening, my lungs squeezing with an overwhelming need to be in Ronan’s arms this very moment. He’s here, flesh and blood, and if I remain physically separated from him even a moment longer, I will simply cease to exist. In an instant I whirl around and run into the house and to the front door, yanking it open. He must have sprinted up the stairs, because there he stands. Tall, and broad, and beautiful as ever, and everything around me fades away.