Chapter 10
Atlas
I loved my roommate, Emma McDougall. She was short, sassy, and the oldest of all our roommates at forty-one years old.
She became a divorcée when her husband left her for a younger model, leaving her with nothing.
They’d struggled to have kids, and her ex got tired of it.
She was forced to find roommates and a job as a waitress to make ends meet.
Her blonde curls bounced as she walked ahead of me at the mall in Tyson’s Corner.
I’d brought her shopping to help me find more feminine, office-appropriate things.
I’d already gotten fitted yesterday for a couple of new suits, one in navy blue and one in charcoal gray.
Traditional colors, but they’d pair well with bright colors for ties or blouses.
“I can’t believe your boss gave you his card to shop with,” she said when she stopped to inspect a silky red blouse with bold flowers on it. Emma held it up against me. Her gray eyes scrutinized and inspected as she gnawed on her bottom lip. “God, red is your color, Atlas.”
“What can I say? I’m blessed.”
She stuck her tongue out at me, and I laughed. “I’m so jealous. My skin is so pasty, it’s hard to wear bright colors.”
“Oh, shush. You’re gorgeous, Emma-boo. Anyway, Mr. Pierce wants to make sure I’m properly dressed for work.
It’s purely for business. Besides, I’ll be paying him back.
” Fine, that last bit was a lie. I would’ve paid him back had Linden not insisted.
Still, I felt so damn spoiled. I’d never been the center of attention in my life, other than Mom nagging me about when I was going to find a boyfriend and get married.
Emma thrust the red blouse, still on the hanger, at me. I scrambled to grab it before it fell to the ground.
“Pearls. You’ll need pearls to wear with that.”
“I have some at home.”
“Good.”
We weaved in and out of racks in the women’s department at Nordstrom. “I love this more feminine side of you, Atlas. You’re so pretty when you add a touch of makeup and combine it with masculine things. It really suits you.”
“Thanks.”
I hadn’t told her why I was dressing differently, but I would tonight when we met up with Ryder and Luna for dinner. We went out about once a month for fun and to unwind.
None of us knew each other when we moved in.
It was all part of communal apartment living, making it more affordable; however, the complex also provided events and opportunities to get to know your neighbors.
It was perfect for us. After we filled out our preferences on our applications, they couldn’t have picked better roommates for us. I adored all three of them.
After we made our purchases, we headed toward the makeup and perfume section, where they were offering free makeovers.
“Oh my god! Let’s do it, Em! Let’s get makeovers.”
“Oooh! Sounds fun. Maybe they can do some wonders for these wrinkles.”
I rolled my eyes so hard into my head. “Puh-lease. You have a few laugh lines and crinkles around your eyes. You do not look your age, honey.”
“You’re so sweet, Atlas. Now to find a man who sees what you do. I’m tired of being single. No more marriage for me, but I could use some fun.”
We sat on stools as two women, who worked the counter, cleansed our faces. “Hey, can you give me something light, pretty, but that works with red lipstick?” I asked her.
“Of course. Red will look stunning on you.”
Emma’s brows shot up, and she grinned. “Told ya.”
As the woman dabbed a sheer foundation over my skin with a makeup sponge, Emma asked, “So what’s with the shift in fashion and bold lipstick? I mean, you wear gloss, but I’ve never seen you in violent-red lipstick before.”
I shrugged, playing stupid. “I thought it would be a fun change.”
“It wouldn’t have to do with a couple of sexy new bosses, would it? You haven’t stopped gushing over them since the day you were hired.”
“Maybe…”
“Atlas…”
“…What?”
“Be careful.”
“Psh, I’m always careful.”
“Atlas…”
Yep, Emma was our resident mother. I trusted her opinion. And while I knew it probably wasn’t the best idea to get involved with my bosses, I wasn’t going to stop either. I wanted them.
Dinner was at a Mexican restaurant in the mall. It was crowded and loud, especially when all four of us were together. Well, Ryder was more shy, but he opened up once you got a couple of margaritas in him.
And I was on my third margarita. We took the subway to shop, so we didn’t have to worry about driving. Traffic on the Beltway was a bitch anyway.
Luna was getting pretty tipsy herself. She was so cute with her curves, dusky skin, and bleached tight curls cut close to her scalp. She was a lesbian who’d recently started dating another woman she’d met at the university. We were all queer except for Emma.
“So, how are you and Finny-Winny?” I said to Ryder before burping. “Oh, excuse me!”
“Not very lady-like, Atlas,” Emma scolded, though I could tell she was feeling the alcohol, too.
Ryder’s pale skin bloomed into a riot of pinks and reds. God, he was so adorable. He was tall, muscular, and the shyest thing ever. It was wild that he was a popular bartender at one of DC’s hottest nightclubs.
“Uh, good. We’re good… real good. Like…”
“Good?” the rest of us said in unison, leaving us in a fit of giggles, even if it wasn’t that funny.
The red traveled down his neck and up to his ears. “Yeah…”
I dunked a tortilla chip into the salsa and shoved it into my mouth before Luna waved a hand at me. “Atlas… love the new look. Very femme.”
“Thank you, gorgeous.”
“He’s doing it for his new bosses,” Emma replied.
“Tsh, so?”
Luna raised a shapely brow. “Oh? How do you know they like feminine things? Are they into guys? Or do you find them cute and are trying to get their attention?”
I chugged back the rest of my margarita and ordered another, then I had a bite of my enchilada.
“Atlas…” Luna said.
“Ugh, why is everyone saying my name like they’re scolding me?”
Ryder chuckled. “Because you’re trouble.”
Luna and Emma raised their glasses. “Cheers to that.”
I waved them off and sighed. “Okay, fine. Secret time.” I eyed each one of my friends and roommates, pointing at them. “None of this leaves the restaurant.”
“Oooh, spicy,” Luna chuckled.
All three leaned forward when I did. “So, I went out to a nightclub to find someone fun for the evening, but I didn’t find one; I found two.”
“Shut the front door!” Emma exclaimed. “Nooo…”
“Yep. The two VPs who hired me,” I fanned myself from the heat of the memory. “God, and what a fucking night that was.”
“And they still hired you?” Ryder asked with his jaw on the table.
“That they did, my friend. I’m dressed like this because they enjoy me with more feminine things on.
” I raised my hand to stop the interruptions.
“Before you scold me again, yes, they hired me because of that night. They want me for more than being their PA. And I don’t want to hear a damn word about how irresponsible it is.
They’re taking a bigger risk, trust me. I’m well aware it’s irresponsible, but we talked it through, and I trust them. ”
All my roommates stared at me, saying nothing. I didn’t know whether I was grateful for the silence or disappointed because they were being internally judgy.
I shrugged. “They want me. Little old me. I’m… nothing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a guy who wants me for more than a fuck for one night? Now I found two. I’m not about to give that up as of right now.”
Emma softened and put an arm around me since I was sitting next to her. “Babe, you’re special, talented, fun, and amazing. Why would someone not want you?”
I shrugged again. I’d never been vocal about insecurities, and I didn’t want to start then.
“I’m also seeing my boss,” Ryder blurted.
My eyes bugged out of my head, then I grinned crookedly. “You naughty little cutie. And here I thought you were a straitlaced country boy.”
Luna waved her hands in the air. “Wait, wait, wait… You both are seeing your bosses?”
“What happened to Finn?” Emma asked.
Before Ryder could answer, I chimed in. “Oh, he’s seeing both of them. Stepfather and stepson. That’s fucking hot, Rye-Rye.”
He pinked again and shrugged. “It’s… complicated, but I really like them.”
“You two are going to get hurt,” Luna warned. “Far be it from me to lecture, but you both could lose your jobs.”
Ryder’s shoulders rounded, and he sat up straighter. “I knew the risks going into it. The communication between us has been stellar.”
“Let’s not forget the taboo element. I’m not one to judge, but Ryder, you’re with two men, and one is a father-figure and guardian of Finn,” Emma said, who then turned her sights on me. “And your employers are cousins. This could be damaging to all if it comes out.”
“Then we don’t let it out,” I said. “Like Ryder, Linden and Hugh have been open and communicative. I want to take this risk.”
“Same,” Ryder agreed.
Emma raised her frozen margarita in cheers and took a sip. “Please be careful, boys.”
“And how about you, gorgeous? Any men ready to sweep you away?”
Emma gave me a side eye. “Please. No one wants a middle-aged waitress.”
“What are you talking about? You’re beautiful, sweet, fun, smart… any guy would want you,” Luna said, and I agreed.
Ryder shook his head, causing his bangs to fall in his face. He combed them back with his fingers and said, “You need to get out. You should come to the club. I bet once you show up in a slinky dress, you’ll be surrounded by ten men at least.”
“Oh! I know! We should all go out together. That’d be fun.”
“Ugh, it’s not like me to put myself out there.”
Luna reached over to touch Emma’s arm. “It’s been two years. It’s okay if you want to stay single, but if you’re holding back because you seem to think you’re too old, well, you’re a dumbass.”
I giggled and agreed. “Yep. Don’t hold back on that.”
“There may be a slight trust thing, too.”
“Emma, your ex was a jerk. There are plenty of amazing men out there. I know there’s one for you,” Ryder said, ever the romantic.
“Okay… maybe. We’ll see.”
That night, after we got home, I had a gallon of water so I didn’t wake up hungover, headed to Ryder’s bedroom, and knocked on his door.
He was shirtless, wearing only joggers, and I tried not to stare at his hot-as-sin body. We both worked out, but Ryder was refined and defined. I wondered what Hugh and Linden looked like under their clothes. I’d only seen them from the waist down, and they had some sexy legs, among other things.
“What’s up, At?”
“Can I come in? I want to talk about something.”
“Sure.”
Ryder stepped aside and closed the door behind him when I walked in and sat on the edge of his bed.
“So, you got a thing with two other men going on?”
“Yeah.”
“How is that working out? This thing between Hugh, Linden, and me is so new. Like… how did it start, and how do you all communicate? I haven’t been in any sort of relationship, so I want to make sure I don’t fuck this up. Granted, it’s not permanent or anything. It’s for fun, but…”
He smiled at my rambling and sat next to me. His eyes still had dark circles under them, but I didn’t ask how he was feeling. Every time one of us did, he’d wave us off and downplay whatever was going on with him.
“It’s just for fun for us, too. We aren’t in any relationship. It’s private, so don’t say anything… got it?”
“Yeah, of course. My situation is private, too.”
“So, Knox and Finn were already together. It’s a long story I won’t get into. They wanted to branch out a bit and see what it’d be like to bring in a third. They chose me. I had to sign an NDA, which I’m currently violating…”
I raised my hands. “You can trust me. I had to sign one, too.”
“So, we had to create rules of expectations and such. We all signed that, too. But it’s been almost a month now, and I’m really liking them. They’ve been a great escape.”
Escape? Interesting.
“Escape from what?”
Ryder abruptly stood and started digging in his drawers for a T-shirt.
“Nothing. I only mean… I’ve been kind of stressed, and they take that away.
But yeah… I like them a lot. They’re not only sexy as heck, but they’re kind, communicative, and supportive.
They’ve allowed me to explore my sexuality openly, which was the main reason I accepted their deal.
” Ryder pulled out a purple T-shirt, closed his drawer, and put it on over his head.
“I was bisexual in a small town, so I never got to see what it’s like to be with a guy until I moved to DC.
I was afraid to find someone because I was clueless about it all.
They let me explore without shame, and they’ve been teaching me so much. ”
“Wow, that’s cool. So… you want more from them?”
He nodded and folded his arms across his chest as he leaned against his dresser. “Yeah, I’d like to, but I haven’t talked to them about it yet.”
“You should.”
“Yeah. Maybe… soon. So, how about you? Are you catching feelings already?”
“No, we’ve barely done anything yet. But that first night… It was intense and hot. I want more of it. We’ve messed around only once so far besides that night, but I’m supposed to go to Hugh’s place for dinner tomorrow. I’m sure they’ve got plans for me.”
Ryder smirked, brightening up his face. “Sounds fun. I’m sure you’ll be in for a wild ride. I know I have. I’ve discovered things about sex I never even dreamed about.”
“That sounds really fun. I just…”
I looked down at my hands on my lap and shrugged. Ryder sat next to me and rested a hand on my back. “You just what? You seem… off.”
“I dunno… They’re like way out of my league, you know?
They’re gorgeous, built, elegant, masculine, classy, wealthy…
all the things I’m not. I’m not sure what they see in me, honestly.
I… don’t need reassurance or anything. It’s a fact.
But god, when I’m with them… any insecurities I have go right out the window.
They make me feel… desired and seen. I suddenly become the center of their attention. ”
Ryder pulled me against him for a side hug. “You’re amazing and adorable, Atlas. Don’t look down on yourself. I thought the same thing when Finn first approached me. Like your guys, they make me feel special too. That ‘out-of-their-league’ feeling quickly went away.”
I hoped so. It was hard when you didn’t like your own face very much.
“Thanks, Rye-Rye.”