Chapter 19
Atlas
I paced in the living room of my apartment as Emma stress-knitted, and Luna tried to meditate. I’d been so wrapped up with Hugh and Linden the past month after we went exclusive that I hadn’t noticed the decline in Ryder.
Now he wouldn’t come out of his room. We knocked, asked him if he wanted to talk, but he’d said nothing. The only sign of life we saw from him was when he came out to use the bathroom earlier this morning, then locked himself back in his room.
He’d looked like shit, too. His hair was greasy, he had dark circles under his eyes, and his shoulders sagged. Yep, there was definitely something serious going on.
“Can we make him talk?” I asked, gnawing on a fingernail.
“Do you think he broke up with his boyfriend?” Luna asked. “That’d explain the mood shift.”
“It’s possible,” Emma agreed, making rapid stitches in the tiny scarf she was making for me to give to Mrs. Peach. I loved that cat.
“Does it, though?” I asked. “I mean, he’s been slowly looking like shit for over a month now. And he’d been dating regularly. Do you… do you think he’s sick or something?”
God, now I was really freaking out.
Emma sat up and put her knitting down. “But wouldn’t he tell us?”
“Not necessarily.” Luna stretched and gathered her knees against her as she sat on the floor.
“I never got the impression that Ryder was an open book. He’s secretive about his relationship whenever you ask questions about it.
He keeps saying he’s fine when you ask him if something’s wrong.
I don’t know… Something serious is going on, and I’m worried. ”
“Me too,” I agreed.
“What do we do? I may be the oldest roommate, but I don’t have a clue. If Ryder’s that closed off, I don’t want to be intrusive and force him to talk when he’s not ready.”
I sagged onto the couch next to Emma. “I just feel bad for not noticing it more until now. I’m a terrible friend.”
“It’s hard. We’ve known Ryder for almost a year, but he works so much. We’re still learning about each other. There’s a balance between being intrusive and caring, and we don’t fully grasp Ryder’s boundaries yet, other than he doesn’t share a whole lot of himself,” Luna explained.
Emma nodded and resumed her knitting. “I think he’s just shy.”
“He sure does blush a lot,” I agreed. “He’s a country boy who’s come to the big city, so he’s probably still figuring shit out.
” I stood and paced again. “What I know is that he’s a big sweetie.
He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.
Washington, DC, chews up and spits out people like our Ryder. I hope it hasn’t changed him too much.”
Forget his need to be alone. He needed his friends.
I headed straight to his bedroom door and pounded on it. “Rye-Rye, talk to us. Come on out. We know something’s going on. Please. We’re here for you.”
I tested his door, but it was locked, so I knocked again. “Come on, hun. Talk to us.”
There wasn’t one sound, not even a ‘go away.’
I turned and left back out to the living room. I shook my head. “He’s completely ignoring me. I don’t know what to do.”
A knock on our front door startled us. Emma stood to answer it. “Can I help you?”
“I’m Finn, here to see Ryder.”
“Are you the reason he won’t come out of his room?”
Luna and I walked to the door to see what was going on and why Emma was so tense.
Finn, being a supermodel, looked the part with his dark blond hair and green eyes. He was stunning.
“Why would you think that?” he asked.
“Because something is wrong, and now you’re here. I’m just putting two and two together.”
After convincing us he wasn’t the reason for Ryder’s problems, we let him through to see if he could get Ryder out of his room.
“Are you sure he’s even in there?” he asked.
I nodded. “Yes, we saw him use the bathroom earlier and head back into his room, completely ignoring us. He… didn’t look so good. We’ve been trying to get him out and talk to us, but he won’t make a peep. But we also don’t want to be intrusive.”
“Be fucking intrusive if he’s being unresponsive!” Finn snapped, shocking the three of us.
He brushed past us and straight to Ryder’s room, where he pounded on the door. “Ryder! Open the goddamn door this instant!”
Finn’s sudden panic made me panic. Shit. What if something worse was going on and we missed it? Oh, god.
“I’ll pay for the damage,” he said.
Emma’s eyes grew wide. “W-what? Wait!”
Finn ignored her, drew his leg up, and kicked the door open. It crumbled off the hinges. He was stronger than he looked.
As we stood there, watching Ryder curl into a ball, looking away from us, Finn turned to us and snarled. “Leave me!”
My stomach clenched in guilt, more worried than ever for my friend.
The three of us sat and waited for him to come out and tell us what was going on.
When he did finally come out, he was only in his underwear and calling someone on the phone as he walked onto the balcony.
Finn hung up and walked back inside, and headed straight to the kitchen to pour Ryder some water.
He kept ignoring us and made his way back into Ryder’s room.
More time passed before they both came out dressed. Ryder didn’t just look unwell; he looked like he was grieving or something. His eyes were red-rimmed and swollen. Was that what happened? Did he lose someone?
Finn promised to pay to have the broken door fixed, and I handed him my phone number. “That’s my number. Please let us know what’s going on.”
He gave me a curt nod. “Will do.”
“I’m such a shitty friend,” I said. “We should’ve tried harder.”
“In hindsight, it seems we should have,” Emma agreed.
Luna nodded and walked into the kitchen. “Hopefully, he’ll talk to us and forgive us. Anyone want some tea? I have a special calming blend.”
“No, thanks. I need to get dressed. I’m supposed to meet up with my brothers tonight.”
I stepped into Horton’s Bar and Grill on M Street in Georgetown, which wasn’t too far from where Athan went to school.
Andreas and Athan were already sitting down at a booth. I slid in, and a server immediately stepped up to me to ask what I’d like to drink. They only served beer and wine, so I ordered a chilled glass of pinot grigio. Beer was not my thing.
Athan was too young to drink, but Andreas was sipping some lager on tap.
Through the years, people who knew the three of us often got our names confused—the curse of having parents who named us all with ‘A’ names.
We tried to meet up at least once a month to catch up without our parents. Mom would just meddle in everything we talked about, god love her.
“We ordered the usual,” Andreas said. “Large pizza with pepperoni, sausage, green olives, onions, and basil. Plus, twenty Buffalo wings with loads of ranch dressing.”
“Perfect,” I said.
I loved having sex and being on the bottom, but I always had to be careful with what I ate. But since there were no plans until next weekend, I ate whatever I wanted.
“You look stressed,” Andreas said. “Everything okay? You still have your job?”
“Yeah, things are fine. My roommate, Ryder, locked himself in his room all day. His boyfriend came over and took him home with him. He looked so bad and so sad, but I have no idea what’s going on. It’s stressing me out a little.”
“Like how? Is he sick or something?”
I shook my head. “I think depression or something.”
My brothers didn’t know Ryder. I didn’t expect them to be as concerned as I was, so I changed the subject. “So, how’s the new girlfriend?” I asked Athan.
He eyed me with disdain. “You’re as bad as Mama.”
I feigned horror. “As if! I never nag about when you’re going to be married and have kids.”
My brothers laughed as Athan unlocked his phone, scrolled through it, and showed me the most recent picture of his girlfriend. She was a stunning young woman with umber skin and a big poof of black hair.
“That’s Maya. Do you think…” He glanced at me and Andreas. “Do you think they’ll like her?”
Andreas took a sip of beer with a smirk before snorting a laugh. “If you tell Mama you’re in love and will marry her soon, she’ll completely dote on Maya.”
Athan slouched in his seat. “Ugh, I don’t want to scare my girlfriend. Jesus. Why did you say that? Anyway, I really like her.”
“Aww, Athan’s in love,” I teased. “What the hell is she doing with you?”
“Tsh!” he huffed before throwing a wadded-up piece of napkin at me.
Right then, our server brought us our food and extra plates.
“God, I’m dying for pizza. It’s been too long,” I said, serving myself a steaming slice.
“You’re not on one of those diets again, are you?” Andreas asked, dunking a wing into some ranch dressing. “You always end up going back to the foods you love. Dude, you look fine as you are.”
I waved a dismissive hand at him and took a large bite of pizza. I chased the string cheese as it stretched from the dough to my mouth.
“Not a diet,” I finally said, wiping my mouth with a napkin. “I’m just being careful with what I eat because… I’m seeing someone… someones.”
I figured it was time to tell my brothers.
They could give me a feeler about how our parents would react if I told them I was seeing two grown-ass men who also happened to be my bosses.
God, Mom would first have a heart attack, then she’d bake her most famous dessert, milopita, before asking when the wedding was. Mortifying!
“Hold up…” Andreas said, his eyes bugging. “You said ‘someones’. As in plural? How many someones are we talking?”
“Uhm, two?”
“Two men?” my brothers said simultaneously.
I shrugged to play it off like it was no big deal and took another bite of pizza.
“Bro, don’t leave us hanging.”
“Athan… darling brother, you and Andreas need to stop saying ‘bro’ and ‘dude.’ Seriously…”
Andreas scowled and pointed at me. “Dammit, Atlas, you’re deflecting. Spill it.”
I sighed dramatically before taking a sip of my wine. “Fine, but don’t tell Mama and Dad. I’ll tell them later. This relationship is still pretty new.”
Athan waved his hand at me to make me hurry up with my story.
“I’m… dating my bosses.”
My brothers’ jaws dropped. “Both?” they asked at the same time again. You’d think they were twins.
“Yes, both.” I didn’t tell them the story of how we met or the arrangements we made. That part wasn’t their business. “It just happened. And they like me.” I shrugged again. “But we agreed to see where it goes.”
Andreas ran a hand through his dark, wavy hair. “Jesus, At… Aren’t they cousins and shit?”
I squirmed and nodded. “Yeah, but they don’t… do stuff together, if that’s what you mean.”
Athan’s shock turned into sass. “So you have two guys dicking you down?”
I rolled my eyes. “Eloquently put, Athan, but yes, they’re each ‘dicking’ me down.”
Honestly, it was nice to have a family that didn’t care about your sexuality.
Not all families were so accepting. It was why I could come out that I was in a polyamorous relationship without being overly scolded.
Still, it was taboo, given that they were cousins and my bosses.
I doubt my parents would be happy about it, but would they accept Hugh and Linden?
Mom would definitely stress cook until she calmed down.
Andreas sat back in his booth and took a sip of his beer with a smug look. “Damn, look at you. Two dudes.”
“How does that even work?” Athan asked. “I mean, if they don’t do anything together?”
“It’s called a ‘V’ polyamorous relationship. I can have them, and they have me, but they don’t have each other.” I leaned toward them, and they leaned in close. “Though it would be hot if they did.”
I burst out laughing at their shocked faces. “Don’t start being pearl clutchers now.”
“Who knew our brother would be so… kinky?” Andreas said.
How little they knew.
Regardless, the news was out with my brothers, and they took it really well. It wouldn’t be so easy with my parents.
“Gross. I do not need to think of my brother as kinky. Anyway, you should invite them over for dinner,” Athan suggested. “Let Mom and Dad get to know them first before breaking the news.”
Andreas nodded in agreement. “Yep, tell them to gush over Mom’s food, and she’ll gush over them.”
I wasn’t sure it’d be that easy, but it was a good idea to have my parents meet Hugh and Linden first, then we could work up to the dating thing.