Chapter 37
JACK
“Are you sure about this?” Devon asked.
Holding his gaze, I nodded as I untied the belt on my bathrobe. “Yes.”
He swallowed, watching me slide the thick white belt free from its loops. As I handed it to him, he met my eyes again. “I thought that was a one-time thing.” Still, he closed his fingers around it.
“I thought so too. And maybe with anyone else, it would’ve been. With you…” I trailed off, at a loss for how to put it into words.
Devon stared down, watching his own thumb rub back and forth on the terrycloth. Something lurked behind his eyes and in that crevice between his eyebrows, but I waited for him to put it into words instead of trying to pull it out of him.
Finally, he looked at me through his lashes and whispered, “How is it you know exactly what I need?”
Fuck. Now I was the one who didn’t speak for a moment. Sliding my hand over the top of his, I said, “I don’t know. Not consciously, anyway. But… maybe we give each other what we need.” I paused, then softly added, “Maybe we are what we both need.”
Devon squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his lips together as if my words had prompted a sudden flood of emotion that he didn’t want to let out.
I touched his face. “Devon, you don’t—”
His lips were against mine. I whimpered softly, and I pushed my hand up into his hair as he deepened the kiss.
No, I still didn’t know what had crossed his mind in that moment, but maybe I didn’t need to know.
Not now. Not yet. Maybe all I needed to know was that he wanted me and this and us—whatever definition of “us” we eventually settled on.
Or maybe I wouldn’t have to wait to find out.
Lips barely leaving mine, he whispered shakily, “I’m scared I can’t have you the way I want to.”
“You can. You do.” I carded my fingers through his hair, then stroked it. “We have tonight. And after tonight, we’ll figure it out.”
“But we can’t…” His ragged breath gusted across my lips. “I don’t want to hide you behind closed doors. I want the world to know I love you.”
My throat tightened around my breath. I had no idea how to respond.
He swallowed. “And you. I want you to know that too.” He trailed his fingertips down my cheek. “But the League…”
“The League won’t be a problem anymore,” I said softly. “I’m not your coach anymore. I’m not a coach. At all.”
Devon drew back and stared at me, eyes wide and wet. “What do you mean?”
“End of the season.” I shook my head. “That’s it. I’m—”
“Wait, you resigned? Like, completely?” He swallowed. “I thought… I thought you had an offer somewhere else, or—”
“No. I love coaching. I do. But not enough to give you up.”
He stared at me in disbelief. “But you… when you quit, you didn’t know if I’d—” He grimaced as his spine straightened. “And I didn’t even respond, and it’s been weeks, and you—”
“Devon. Baby. Come here.” I drew him back in and caressed his cheek. “I meant what I said—I love you. Full stop. Even if you didn’t feel the same.”
“But you gave up your career,” he whispered, his words as wet around the edges as his eyes.
“I’ve given enough of myself to hockey. I want to live my life on my terms now, and not have to worry about what the League or the fans or anyone else thinks.
Even if we’re not together, I’m happy to give up coaching if it means no one finds out we slept together and tries to screw your career over with it. ”
Devon winced, breaking eye contact. “You shouldn’t have to give up—”
“I don’t have to. I want to.” I touched his chin and gently turned his head so he was facing me again. “My coaching career doesn’t mean nearly as much to me as you do.”
He searched my eyes. Then he pulled me in close and buried his face against my neck. I wrapped my arms around him and just held him much like I had when I’d arrived.
“Calisse,” he murmured after a while. “I wish I’d brought all my toys with me.”
I almost laughed at the sudden shift in conversation. “Why’s that?”
Drawing back, he swiped at his eyes, but he was smiling. “Because you deserve everything. And I wish I could give you everything tonight.”
My heart fluttered. I cupped his jaw and kissed him softly. “I have you.”
“Yes. You do.” He curved his hand behind my neck, and his kiss was much more fierce than mine.
More possessive. God, I loved that. When he came up for air, he was out of breath, but his eyes were on fire.
“When we’re back in B.C., and we have a night away from both our teams…
fuck, Jack, I’m going to do so many filthy things to you. ”
I bit my lip and nodded. “Please?”
His grin made me hot all over, both because of the promise and because we were stepping out of the heavy emotional territory. The mood hadn’t been killed, and the moment hadn’t passed.
Trailing his thumb back and forth along my jaw, he told me, “I’ll do everything to you. Everything you want. Everything I want. And then I’ll wake up in the morning and do it all again.”
A shiver ran up my spine. “God, yes.”
The grin broadened. Oh, I was so in for it when we were finally alone at home.
He slowly drew the tip of his tongue across his lips. “Do you still want me to tie you tonight?”
The fear that zipped through me almost made me gasp, but I just nodded. “Yes. Please.”
“Does it scare you still? Being bound?”
“Yes.”
His eyebrows flicked up.
“It still scares me,” I whispered, covering his hand with mine, “but I know I’m safe with you. Always.”
Heat and wonder both danced in his eyes. “You’re always safe with me.”
I smiled at him. “I know. I’ve never doubted that for a second.”
He stared at me a second longer, then drew me into a perfect, languid kiss. It felt like it went on for ages, but when he broke away, it seemed like it had only been half a heartbeat.
Come back.
He didn’t. Instead, he nodded toward the bed. “Take off the robe and lie on your back.”
Sir, yes, Sir.
I did as I was told, and Devon loomed over me, still fully dressed as he coiled and uncoiled the belt in his hands.
He raked his eyes up and down my naked body.
I couldn’t decide if he was just enjoying the view, or if he was plotting how he was going to tie me when he only had one piece of “rope” at his disposal.
Whatever the case, there was no hiding how much this whole scene turned me on.
Stretched out in front of him like an offering, I was rock hard.
When his gaze lingered on my cock, my toes curled and my spine tingled; I had no idea what he planned to do with me, but Jesus Christ, I wish he’d get to it.
Except this was hot, too. Here was this absolutely stunning and much-younger man, this sculpted athlete who could’ve had anyone he wanted, visibly hard himself and drinking in the sight of me like he had no idea where to start.
“When we’re back in B.C.,” he’d told me a moment ago, “and we have a night away from both our teams… fuck, Jack, I’m going to do so many filthy things to you.”
“Devon…” His name rolled off my tongue. I didn’t even know if I was pleading for him to do something, or if I just needed to say his name because on some level, I still couldn’t believe we were here. Both, maybe.
At the sound of his name, his eyes flicked toward mine, and he smiled. “I definitely should have brought my toys.” He swept his gaze over me again, fondling himself through his jeans as he did. “So many things I want to do.”
“Yes, please,” I breathed.
He licked his lips again. Then he glanced down at the terrycloth belt in his hand again, and the smile turned to a grin. Gazing at me with wicked eyes, he said, “Remember when I made you jack off without coming?”
I bit back a moan of both arousal and frustration. “Which time?”
Devon gave an evil little laugh as he climbed onto the bed beside me. “Exactly. Arms up above your head.”
I obeyed, and he wound the belt around my wrists.
Not tightly, but enough I’d have to work at it to get a hand free.
This being a hotel bed with a solid headboard, there was nothing to tie them to, but a sharp order of, “Don’t move your hands until I untie you” was as good as a pair of iron cuffs.
I wasn’t going anywhere until he told me otherwise.
The bondage was more symbolic than anything—not like when he’d wrapped his ropes around me—but I loved it.
Just being immobilized by his words was exhilarating.
The fact that I couldn’t easily free my hands still sent a ripple of fear down my spine.
There was still that knowledge that if I suddenly wanted to get loose, I’d have to fight to get a hand out was enough to make my skin prickle as adrenaline rose in my system.
Irrational, maybe, but that claustrophobic feeling didn’t need a rational reason to elbow its way in.
A warm hand ran down my arm, the sensation both ticklish and soothing. “You all right?”
I nodded. “Y-yeah.” Beat. “Yes, Sir.”
He smiled down at me. “Good. Color?”
I gave myself a second to really consider the question, but I didn’t imagine he was any more surprised than I was when I whispered, “Green, Sir.”
“Very good.”
His hand continued down my arm, then my chest, and as his fingertips danced along my abs, I gasped. My erection had flagged a little while I’d been getting used to being tied, but it was very quickly coming back to life as his fingers drifted closer.
“If we hadn’t just eaten,” he said, “I’d ride your dick and refuse to let you come.”
“Fuck,” I whispered.
He laughed. “That would be torture, wouldn’t it? Especially when I came all over your chest?”
I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered, both from the thought of him riding me like that and because his fingers were getting dangerously close to my cock.
“Would you like that, Jack?”
“Yes, Sir,” I said without hesitation. “Very much.”
“Mmm, I thought so.” He trailed a single fingertip alongside my dick without touching it, his hand just close enough to let me feel his body heat. “Do you think you could hold back? Not let yourself come while you’re in my ass and I’m coming?”