Chapter 41
JACK
There really was something to be said for a good lay.
There was, it turned out, even more to be said for settling into bed with the man I’d have moved heaven and earth for.
The day had been a roller coaster. Now we were here, naked and warm and satisfied.
There weren’t any welts on my skin or bruises glowing to life; neither of us had felt up to a scene tonight.
After the day we’d had, especially the day and evening he’d had, I was honestly surprised either of us had enough energy to have sex.
Once the clothes had started coming off, though, it hadn’t been difficult to find a second wind.
As I basked in the afterglow with my head on Devon’s chest and his arm around my shoulders, some small part of me thought I was being stupid. I’d given up my career for him. Let the media have a field day with my reputation for him.
Only a small part of me, though. No, we hadn’t been seeing each other long, but I knew to my core this thing we had was worth fighting for.
It was worth whatever sacrifice came along.
And now we didn’t have to hide. There was no more fear of being outed.
No more internal tug-of-war between “I can’t have him” and “I can’t stop wanting him. ”
We were out, and we were together, and for the first time since Devon walked into the Abbotsford Grizzlies’ locker room, I could breathe.
It was admittedly a little weird to not feel the need to get to practice or a game or a team meeting.
I did need to hit the gym, but not to keep myself in hockey condition; I just had to stay fit enough to keep some of my old injuries and chronic issues under control.
No road trips were looming. There was no “I can chill for a couple of weeks, but better not get too relaxed or ramping up for next season will suck.”
For the first time in my life, hockey wasn’t looming over my head. I could just… be.
And I could be with Devon.
“Still awake?” he asked, stroking my hair.
“Yeah.” I shifted onto my elbow so I could look at him, and when I smiled, he returned it. I leaned in and kissed him softly, letting it linger just because I could. Then he slid his hand up into my hair, and… well, I was even less motivated to pull away, so I didn’t.
God, this was perfect. There’d been so many ways this could’ve gotten catastrophically messy, especially once Hairs had started threatening Devon, but we’d landed here.
Devon’s career would be unscathed, though reporters would probably still mention this “scandal” and our relationship every time he was featured.
I knew that from experience; they still never missed a chance to call me the first out gay player in the League, even when the article was about my backhand or my stats.
This—everything about it—was the best-case scenario, and I’d never been more grateful for anything in my life.
When we eventually came up for air, I caressed his cheek and just gazed at him. How did I get so lucky?
Devon chuckled. I thought I’d kept that thought to myself, but apparently I’d said it out loud, because he murmured, “You had an anonymous hookup the night before you started your new job?”
I laughed. “Yeah. Guilty. No regrets, though.”
His smile was so soft and sweet. “Yeah. Same.” He quirked his lips. “Kind of wish I’d ‘accidentally’ put Hairs into the boards or something, though.”’
“You and me both,” I muttered.
“And Emil is going to deal with him? You’re sure?”
Nodding, I settled back onto the pillow next to his.
As he turned onto his side and draped an arm over me, I said, “If it was just our word against his, there might not have been much he could do. But with Lous as a witness corroborating everything you said…” I nodded again, more emphatically this time. “He’s done.”
Devon exhaled, some tension melting out of his neck and shoulders. “Good. I feel like something like this would’ve been shoved under the carpet a few years ago.”
“It would have. Guaranteed.”
His brow pinched. “Did anyone ever do that to you? Threaten you or…?”
“Obliquely. I kind of expected it when I came out. The dickheads who say if a gay guy comes into their locker room, they’ll kick his ass.” I rolled my eyes. “There were three of those on my team, but the leadership and coaches had my back. It was still scary there for a while, though.”
“I bet. Is it true you had to have security in your own locker room?”
Grimacing, I nodded. “I had to have security with me everywhere I went for almost four years. Including in the locker room.”
“Crisse,” Devon whispered. “That sounds terrifying.”
“It was.” I stroked his hair. “The League was a very different place back then.” I paused, then laughed quietly. “I definitely wouldn’t have gotten away with dating a coach.”
Devon laughed, too, his sleepy smile making me warm all over. “To be fair, I wouldn’t have tried to get away with it back then or now.” The smile faded a little as he held my gaze. Trailing his fingertips along my jaw, he added, “But this wasn’t about dating my coach. It was about dating you.”
I sobered, too, and lifted my head for another light kiss. “Same. It was never about wanting to be with a player. Just… you.”
A wicked grin came to life. “And now you’re stuck with me.”
“Oh no.” I drew him down. “What ever will I do?” We were both laughing when our lips met, but then we were drawing out another long, lazy kiss.
My God, I loved everything about this. The bumpy road getting here had been more stressful than I would’ve liked, and I wouldn’t have minded the opportunity to check Hairs into the boards myself, but this?
Devon and me, openly and unapologetically together? I couldn’t ask for more.
As he settled on my chest and I wrapped my arm around him, I closed my eyes and smiled to myself.
No, things wouldn’t be perfect. No relationship would be.
We also had some minor additional headache because losing my job also meant losing my visa.
Vancouver was close to the border, though, so if I got a place in Blaine or even Bellingham, it wouldn’t take much to see each other.
We’d have to spend a fair amount of time apart anyway during the regular season, thanks to the grueling schedule of practices, games, travel, and media engagements, but I wasn’t worried.
After the stress of trying to keep our relationship a secret, navigating a very-slightly-long-distance living situation would be a piece of cake.
And that was only during hockey season. During the off season, we could make up for lost time. Maybe travel together. See the world together.
Just be together as much as his career allowed.
Down the line, we could think about making things more permanent in a way that allowed us to live on the same side of the border. Or he might decide to play for a US team when he was eventually a free agent.
However the logistics shook out, we’d be together. As improbable and mismatched as we probably looked to other people, I couldn’t imagine being more compatible with someone than I was with him. Even during my happiest days with my ex-husband, I’d never felt as blissfully right as I did with Devon.
We were both perfectly imperfect, and we were perfect for each other.
And I couldn’t wait to see how this life together unfolded.