Twenty #2
Javier had never done things like that until recently.
Before now I was convinced that his sole purpose was to be unapologetically better than me in any way he could.
Now, I didn’t know what his goal was. It was easier for me to hate the guy that never did anything but show me up than the guy that was seemingly showing that he cared.
“—and it’s confusing the hell out of me," I finished ranting.
"Wait, wait, wait." Alex readjusted himself in his chair and formed his hands into a steeple. "He has picked you up multiple times, taken care of you drunk twice, let you spend the night at his house, and you're still confused on whether or not he cares about you?"
I sighed. "It's not that simple. Yes, he's done all of that, but what if it’s because he’s trying to mess with my head or something?"
"You're just as delusional and oblivious as Alex is," Killian said half-jokingly.
Alex shot his roommate a tense side-eye before huffing.
"Stop moving," Millie reprimanded as she slapped my hand. My arm twitched when I felt the harsh sting of the slap.
"Eli, you have got to open your eyes because there is no way you believe he's doing all of that to mess with your head. He had no reason to.”
“You don’t know that.”
Alex ran a hand through his hair. "What would be the point in being fake nice? I don't know about you, but I wouldn't go out of my way to take care of someone I don’t like."
"But why the fu…" I trailed off when I remembered that tiny ears were listening.
"Why the heck would he like me? All these years and all of a sudden I'm someone for him to care about?
No, there must be some other reason. I cannot have feelings for him if he is only pretending to care to prove a stupid point. "
My jaw was clenched and my fingernails were digging into my palms. I hadn’t realized how strongly I felt about the situation. Alex and Killian sat silent with skeptical looks on their faces. Meanwhile, Millie continued to glide the polish brush against my fingernail and it felt oddly therapeutic.
"Feelings for him?" Killian broke the silence, his voice rough.
I blinked. "Huh? No, not like feelings , feelings."
When I saw the unconvinced looks on their faces my first thought was to continue trying to lie my way out of it. However, I realized that the two sitting in front of me were not going to believe me no matter how much I fibbed.
"Okay, maybe I did mean feelings , feelings. I don’t know," I whispered. "Is that cool?"
Alex’s eyes filled with disbelief morphed into a gentle gaze. “Yeah, of course.”
I focused on picking at my fingernails because I didn’t want to meet their eyes when I felt so exposed. Their reaction to my accidental confession was comforting and I greatly appreciated it, but I still felt oddly vulnerable after doing so.
The roommates burst into laughter together. Millie joined in on the chuckles, though she only did that because the other two were cracking up. I was left in the dark because I had no clue what was so funny.
After the giggles died down, my confusion was still evident. Killian cleared his throat. "You do know what Alex and I are, right?"
I stared at them, dumbfounded. "Uh, white?"
Alex snorted. "He means, like, what we are together."
"Oh. Roommates."
"Boyfriends," Millie stressed, clearly fed up with my ignorance. She was still focused on painting my nails but had been tuned into the conversation. "Alex and Killian do gross things like share cooties. They hold hands and hug and bleh ."
It took me a second to process what I was being told, but when I did my eyes lit up. “Oh, wait, that makes so much sense! That’s really awesome for you guys.”
Looking back, it was pretty clear from the moment I met them. I was so caught up in myself that everything else around me was irrelevant. Guess I'd have to break the news to Bella that Killian was not single, and that even if he was single, she wouldn't have a shot.
“So, you might have feelings for Javier?" Killian asked.
“Honestly, I don’t know how I feel,” I said, frustrated. “But I don’t think I hate him.”
“Clearly,” Alex stated.
“I just find it hard to believe that he genuinely cares.”
A mischievous smile spread across Alex's face. He leaned over and whispered something to Killian to which he shrugged. What was going on in his head?
"I have an idea." Alex pulled his phone out of his pocket. I tried to see what he was doing, but he had a privacy screen on it.
Despite knowing that, I kept trying to see around the privacy screen. It wasn't working. "What are you doing?"
"Asking him to come over," he said simply. Seeing the shock on my face, he said, "Relax. I told him Killian found the jacket he lost so he needs to come pick it up. He left it over here a couple of weeks ago."
Killian’s eyes squinted. "But I didn't find his jacket."
"You told me last week that you found it."
"I told you last week that I found my jacket." He groaned out of frustration as he stared dully at Alex. "I left it at my parents' house."
Alex's mouth formed an 'o' shape and laughed nervously. His head shot down to his phone when it buzzed. “It doesn’t matter anyway. Javier doesn’t think he’ll have enough time to stop by, so he’ll come get it another day.”
“Can I have pizza?” Millie asked loudly. “I’m hungry.”
"Oh." Alex smiled at his phone. "Never mind."
"Never mind what?" Killian asked as he ignored Millie’s dramatic sigh because no one answered her question.
"He said he can come over. Guess why," Alex prompted me with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
"Because he really misses his jacket?" I asked innocently.
Alex shook his head and handed his phone to Killian to read. I tried to see, but Millie grabbed my wrist and began to shake my hand back and forth aggressively. She was trying to dry off the polish that she worked so hard to perfect.
"Done!" Millie exclaimed. "How do they look?"
"Beautiful," I told the child. She clapped her hands a few times and told me to be careful so that I don't mess them up. "I love them, Millie."
Her big toothy smile showcased all of her teeth, including the two missing ones in the front. Millie began to pick up and put away the nail polish. She was a good kid. Any other child would have ran off to the next task and left the mess behind.
"I mentioned that you were here and guess who all of a sudden can stop by," Alex said suggestively.
"It's just a coincidence. He wanted his jacket," I insisted.
Killian sighed. "If that's what you want to tell yourself."
As we waited for Javier to show up, Killian decided to search the apartment for the jacket Javi had lost. He hoped that it would miraculously appear so that he'd have the item to give him. There was no jacket.
Killian was visibly annoyed. At first, I thought it was because we were wasting Javier’s time coming here when we did not have his lost item, but as I watched more closely, it seemed like he was annoyed with Alex. I pretended like I did not notice the odd tension between them.
Alex told his boyfriend that it was fine, Javier wasn't really coming for the jacket anyway. Apparently, he was coming for me. Alex just wanted to play cupid. Regardless, I assumed Javi would want the jacket he had lost considering he was told that it was found. Too bad we didn’t have it.
Millie showed me her entire doll collection that she brought with her from her house. There were about twenty dolls piled in a bag. She told me the backstories to each one and what their goals in life were. It was surprisingly entertaining to see what went on inside Millie's head.
I found myself smiling at the thought of Javi being here. It hadn’t been long since I had last seen him, but I had a desire to see him again.
When the doorbell rang my heartbeat quickened.
"Pizza!" Millie exclaimed as she ran full speed to the door. She swung the door open, excited as ever, but her smile dropped when the person at the door was not the pizza delivery man. "Oh, just this guy."
"No one said we were getting pizza, Millie," Alex said boredly. "Say hi to Javier."
"Hi," Millie said, still frowning. "Sorry, thought you had pizza."
"I would've gotten you pizza if I had known," Javi said with sympathy.
Killian sighed. "I'll get the girl some pizza."
Killian grabbed his phone to call the pizza place while Alex and Javier greeted each other. Javi said something to me, but I didn't catch it. My attention was not focused on his words, no. They were focused on his body.
Javi was wearing a black muscle shirt and basketball shorts.
His hair clung to his forehead, damp and messy.
His caramel skin was glistening from what I assumed to be sweat because he was dressed as if he had just come from the gym.
Fine was not enough to describe how attractive he looked standing idly before me.
How in the world had I not seen it before?
Ignoring whatever it was that Javier had said to me before, I asked, "Since when do you work out?"
"Since when do you pay attention to what I do in my free time?" he challenged with a sharp nod.
"I feel like if you did work out then I would've known it by now."
"Can't stay this fine without putting in the work, Baby Richardson."
I rolled my eyes at his arrogant remark and the use of the stupid nickname. He found my irritation amusing. He always found it amusing.
Seeing the annoyance behind my eyes, he threw his hands up in defense. "Sorry, I’ll quit with the ‘Baby Richardson’ crap. To answer your question, I don't work out regularly. Only when I feel like it."
I was imagining him taking the tank top off and showing me his abs while I admired his biceps. I couldn’t help the small smirk that began to form as I daydreamed.
Javier cleared his throat and pulled me out of my imagination. " I can’t stay long. Where’s my jacket?”
Alex and Killian shared a nervous look while Millie giggled. She knew that the jacket was not there and luckily had enough knowledge to know that now was not the time to tell the truth. I was beginning to understand that Millie was always listening, especially when we thought that she wasn’t.
Killian was still on the phone with the pizza place, so he didn't have to explain the situation with the jacket. Alex laughed sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, about that..."
His eyes met mine for me to continue. I couldn't come up with a lie, so I opted for the vague truth. "It's not here."
Javier paused. "But Alex said it was."
"Yes, Alex said that."
"So…” Javi drawled. "He lied?"
"No," I lied.
“Then, where is it?”
I shrugged. “Why would I know?”
“What?” Javier paused. "You’re confusing me."
Killian pulled the phone away from his ear and covered the speaker to chime in. "He's confusing himself."
Alex had him come all the way over here for absolutely no reason. I hoped Javier would drop the situation altogether to avoid us having to explain that. If I could confuse him enough, then maybe he would give up.
"So, no one found my jacket. Right?" Javier spoke carefully.
"I'm sorry." Alex gave him a pat on the shoulder. "You can have some pizza when it gets here, if you want."
"I would, but I can’t. I only came for the jacket.”
I knew that he wasn’t going to stay, but I still found myself disappointed by his words.
"Your nails, Eli," Javier said as he leaned forward and squinted at them. "They're..."
"Beautiful?" Millie asked with innocent anticipation.
"Beautiful,” he replied with a smile which sent the child into a sea of giggles. She was proud of her work just as she should have been. My nails turned out better than I expected from a young girl. Sadly, I was going to have to take it off the moment I made it home.
Javier made his way to the front door and opened it but didn’t walk through. He turned his head over his shoulder. "See you at school tomorrow?"
Returning the smile, I nodded. "See you at school tomorrow."
He wanted to see me at school tomorrow.