Chapter 4
CHAPTER FOUR
ETHAN
Blinding lights scald my eyes as I try to look out over the darkened crowd. It’s nothing new. I know what’s going on. Once the bright lights hit, anyone can see you, but you’re unable to see them.
How many times did I go to auditions? How many times have I strutted down a runway, only able to see what’s right in front of me and no one else? Granted, I didn’t have to look out and see the people to know who was there.
The elite, the crème de la crème, the ones who keep me on my pedestal as a nubile god. They’re the ones to ogle me in whatever I’m forced to wear for that evening.
Just one thing is different this time. I’m naked. In all the times I’ve done this, in all the times I’ve shown off my body to photographers and agents alike, I’ve never been naked.
But not just naked. Oh, no. It’s worse than that.
My head throbs as I look down at my thick, pulsing cock.
Whatever these monsters injected me with made my already generous cock nearly double in girth and length.
It juts out from my hips, red and angry, as precum pearls at my tip.
An ache gathers in my balls, no doubt spurred on by the tight ring they have around them and the base of my shaft.
Every inch of me twinges, leaving me a trembling, breathless mess. I want so desperately to come, to drain my heavy balls until there’s nothing left in me. The women preparing me for this so-called auction looked down at me with sighs of sympathy, but they did nothing.
No one does anything to help me. I don’t understand. Even as I bellow out from behind my gag, there’s silence meeting me. How can they just sit there and do nothing?
And I know they’re there. I can feel it in the weight of their gaze, hear it in their breaths. It thunders in the silence, making my skin crawl and my head itch. Still, I’m forced to prance about the stage like some prized pony to be sold and paraded around.
No, not a pony. A bull. At least, that’s what it sounds like they’re saying.
But that doesn’t make any sense. I’m a human. I’m a man. I’m not a beast of burden.
The muscles around my shoulders burn with every twitch. Every so often, they feel as if they want to pop from their sockets. Thankfully, the restraints aren’t quite tight enough for that.
I guess they still see me as a threat. Can’t they see that they’ve broken me? That or my mind is now broken. Either way, I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to cause any trouble. I just want an end to the pain and madness threatening to drive me insane.
Agony rakes across my brain, making everything fuzz around the edges.
I can’t lose it. Not now. Not like this.
Unfortunately, as the person leading me about tugs on my leash and pulls me down onto my knees, I nearly buckle and collapse instead of gliding down gracefully like they want me to.
The stage is cool, a welcomed contrast to the burning lights threatening to make me combust.
Humiliation slides down my spine like a film. It’s honestly a good thing I can’t see them. It would make all of this a million times worse.
Tears prick my eyes as I close them and rest against the polished floor. Just one pill. Just one. That’s all I need. Where is Jeffery? Why isn’t he here helping me? Why can’t he just give me a pill and let me have relief?
Again, that dull itch crawls under my skin like an army of ants, but even if I could free my arms and scratch, it would do no good. It’s a deep longing I’ve felt before, one that can only be satiated by the bottom of a bottle or the swallowing of a pill.
“Come now,” the voice booms above me, making me wince as another wave of agonizing nausea rushes over me. “He may not have udders, but that doesn’t mean you can’t milk him.”
His fingers wrap around my cock, drawing a startled yelp from my lips. Only, with the gag, it’s more like a humiliating moo. Just like a bull. Just like the beast they’re announcing you to be.
Though I try to pull away, my feeble attempts are just that—feeble, inconsequential, and wholly ineffective.
The strange man keeps me glued to the spot as he continues to molest me, jacking me off while everyone watches.
Their deep, guttural laughs skitter over my skin as if I can feel them like a physical sensation.
I have to wake up. Surely this is all just a dream, a nightmare. It has to be. How can they laugh like this? Why is no one helping me?
As his fingers tighten even more, I groan, detesting the fact that his touch feels so fucking good.
My balls tighten even further, squeezing hard as if they are about to combust. I just need relief, and at this point, I’ll take it any way I can.
Even if it’s from a strange man I don’t know, touching me and forcing me to come.
“Come now. No one? Not one taker? All bids will be entertained. It’s either this or the prison planets. Last call.”
A single sound rings out from the darkness. It’s a high-pitched tone, so light I wonder if my ears are ringing. But it’s just the one, and then it’s gone. Just like the rest of my sanity slipping away millimeter by millimeter.
The whole area is silent. I strain again to hear the sound, to hear anything. Nothing.
A hard jerk on the leash drags me upward, but my legs give out, refusing to work. The large blue beast tugs me along, urging me to try to at least stay upright on my knees.
Stop being an embarrassment. Just take your assignment as it’s given to you. No other heifer is acting as you do right now. Over and over his words play in my mind as he comes around and loosens my bonds, allowing my arms the ability to move about for the first time in what feels like an eternity.
For a moment, I’m not sure what to do with my newfound freedom. Though I long to take a swing at the assholes abusing me, I can’t muster the strength. All I want to do is lie on the ground and seek out blessed sleep. That’s it. Just sleep. My life for a moment of peace and quiet.
The stranger seems to understand my need and gives me a few moments before tugging again. I can’t just lie here forever. Gritting my teeth, I crawl to my hands and knees and pause there, allowing my equilibrium to come back before forcing myself to my full height.
Big mistake. I should have just stayed on all fours. Gravity pulls down on my enormous balls, dragging a ragged groan from my lips. It’s as if everything weighs a ton. There’s no relief, no respite from the heaviness flitting through my veins.
Sleep. That’s all I’m begging for. Just a few moments of sleep. Why can’t they just grant me that? If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll get a nice cocktail of pills and alcohol. You know, something to let me slip back into oblivion.
Unfortunately, no one hears my silent plea. Instead, I’m dragged down a corridor with gates on either side. I recognize them as if they are the back of my hand. Cattle pens.
Though neither my Dad, my brothers, nor I have ever had a full herd of cattle, we had enough to keep pens like these on the farm. Maybe that’s what my brain is latching onto. Perhaps once I finally get out of this stupor, I should call him.
But then, it’s not as if he communicates with me.
Bitter bile rises in my throat, threatening to choke me.
None of this would be an issue if he’d just let me work the farm with them.
They didn’t have to force me to pursue modeling.
I guess that’s all I am though. Just one more pretty face to melt among the thousands.
The pen gate opens with an ominous squeak before the stranger tosses me in. Thankfully, it’s not hard enough for me to lose my balance completely. I catch myself on something that looks like hay and lower down to the ground. The odd grass is nothing like I’ve seen before.
Instead of the pale color straw usually has, this is lighter blue, almost like a mix of old faded jeans and turquoise. It’s also far softer than the scratchy hay I’m used to. It’s almost comforting and inviting.
Sweat beads at my forehead as I snuggle in a bit deeper, using the bundles to position myself to stop the pain. Right now, the worst of it is in my cock and balls. Again, I look down, my vision blurring as I note just how big they made me.
Unnatural.
Inhuman.
Just wrong.
Things were difficult enough with my length and girth. I never wanted to be any bigger than what I was. Why would my subconscious do this to me? Never before have I dreamed anything like this. A soft groan vibrates around the gag as I shift about.
Why won’t this nightmare end?
Minutes drift by, and I find myself in this weird haze, a liminal space between dream awakeness and full sleep.
I’m lulled by the heat settling over me like a comforting blanket, but still can’t find myself completely comfortable.
Grunting, I turn over onto my back and stare at the angry tip of my cock.
Cum crusts the length of me from where I’ve leaked over and over again. Reaching down, I cup my enormous balls, but all it does is send shards of agony through my body, making me double over. I want to throw up, to scream out and lash out in any way possible, but I can’t.
I’ve experienced blue balls before. This is nothing like it. It’s like blue balls but on crack. The agony is relentless. Even as I stroke myself, each minute movement causes my already rock-solid balls to clench even tighter.
“You there. Bull. Hands down, or we will restrain you again.”
He doesn’t have to tell me twice. The pain is almost not even worth the pleasure I might find at the end. Still though, even when I instantly obey him, the blue fucker grabs my leash and jerks me forward.
Everything spins for a moment, sending renewed bile up my throat to hover at the back of my mouth. I’m going to be sick. I just know it.
“Unhand him. He’s my property.”
I don’t understand the words the other one says. All I can do is latch onto the person drawing near. Next thing I know, he must have let go because nothing else is holding me up or keeping me from toppling over.
Soon, loud, thunderous footsteps race over to me, and multiple large hands grab me as I pitch forward. The instant the gag is out of my mouth, I empty the rest of my stomach into the weird hay. My abdomen clenches as dry heaves wrack my body.
“What’s wrong with him?” That soft yet determined voice pierces the agony rippling through me, soothing me, even if it’s for a scant moment.
Turning my head, I look over to see who could make such a beautiful sound only to stop short. Dark blue eyes peer down at me. Her blue lips quirk down into a ferocious frown as she tugs two women behind her.
One, I haven’t seen before. The other is the one I fucked before going into this nightmare. What the hell is happening? Without so much as a word, she hands the leashes off to another blue fucker and makes her way over to me.
Without hesitating, she drops into a squat and runs her fingers over my face. Her hands feel cool against my skin, and despite wanting to keep my distance from these machinations of my mind, I lean in. It feels so real. Everything feels so fucking real.
“I asked what’s wrong with him, and I will have an answer.” Her eyes never leave mine as she barks at the blue fucker next to her.
“Possible detox. Same as the other cow.”
I pull my gaze away from her and look at the other woman, the one I’d just been sleeping with. Amanda? Emily? Agatha? Damn it, why can’t I remember? My head throbs as I try to make it work. All it does is cause everything to tip upside down for a moment, leaving me a panting, sweating mess.
“He needs to be milked,” the blue fucker murmurs.
“I can see that,” she snaps back, finally looking away to glare at him. “What are they detoxing from?”
“It says here he’s detoxing from alcohol.”
Shocker, I say in my head. Anyone can look at me and know I need a drink.
“And something humans call Ketamine.”
Wait. Special K? What the fuck is Special K doing in my system? Why the hell would dream me even think that?
“Xanax,” he continues. “And Lorazepam.”
Xanax I know about. It’s one of the pills Jeffery dispenses to me when things are too hard. Like right now. Xanax is exactly what I need at the moment. But Lorazepam?
Lorazepam, I mull about in my mind, searching for something to tickle my memories, but it doesn’t. Lorazepam. That’s not even a word I’ve heard before.
“Lorazepam,” she murmurs. “I’m not familiar with that form of recreation.”
It’s like she’s reading my mind, like she’s a part of me. But even that doesn’t completely make sense.
“Also known as Ativan? Apparently it helps humans sleep.”
Wait. I don’t know that word or that medication either. How could my subconscious pull all that up if I don’t even know it exists? My stomach churns as things start clicking into place.
I’m not asleep.
And this isn’t a dream.
Where the fuck am I?