22. Beau
Chapter 22
Beau
“ S he’s in there. Naked,” I say, staring at the bathroom door longingly. The shower is running, and steam slips out from beneath the door, little tendrils beckoning me to go inside. “Think she’d let me join her if I went in?”
“No,” Ram answers honestly. “Pretty sure she’d kick your ass.’’
“Yeah,” I sigh dreamily. “What a woman.”
Ram shakes his head. “You better ease up, wey . She’s not exactly our friend. Not when she’s here to get a story and nothing else.”
I shrug and glance down at my knuckles, flexing the letters there. One fist says “Luck”. The other says “fuck.” I thought it was funny at the time. Still do.
“I don’t think you’re reading her well enough,” I tell Ram. He’s older, wiser, but sometimes, he’s a little oblivious. Indie is a strong and beautiful woman. I have no doubt she’s great at what she does, but she handles things with gloved hands, like someone who has seen the worst side of life. She’s been more comfortable in our presence than she’s been in any of the other journalist’s. I’ve watched her. Probably too closely. Probably bordering on stalking levels. “You should check out some of her articles?—”
“You’ve been looking her up?” Ram asks, his expression surprised.
I don’t blame him. I don’t bother looking into women I fuck. Hell, I hardly know their names. But this woman, there’s something different about her. Something that draws me to her more than any other human besides the two men in this room. I yearn for her in ways I’ve never faced. A normal man would be terrified of that feeling.
I’m not normal.
Hell, I’m barely sane. And really only am depending on who you ask.
“Of course, I’ve looked her up,” I say, staring at him. “Haven’t you?”
“No,” he shakes his head. “I’ve been waiting for her to reveal stuff herself.”
“You’re behind, old man,” I tease. “Even Tripp has looked her up.”
I didn’t think Ram could look more shocked, but here he is, his mouth hanging open. “You’re shitting me?” he says, glancing over at Tripp’s back where he still sleeps, the pillow over his head to block us out. The scar in the shape of the Fairview Acres ranch brand on his back is glaring, brutal, and makes me angry all over again when I see it. So do the permanent lines. But Tripp doesn’t need my anger. He has enough of his own.
“I shit you not,” I reply nonchalantly. “You’re the only one pretending like she isn’t somethin’ special.”
“I know she’s somethin’ special,” Ram argues. “But we hardly deserve the right to pursue someone like her. She doesn’t belong in the rodeo circuits. You know that as well as I do.”
“I think she belongs wherever it is she wants to,” I reason. “There are no walls for Indie of her own making, only those others build.” I stand and flick Ram on the shoulder. “If you’re not careful, you’re gonna build a wall you can’t climb, Rammie.”
“It’s irresponsible of you to sleep with someone trying to get our life story,” Ram grunts quietly when the shower shuts off. “We’ve spent a decade trying to keep out of the limelight and you’re going to ruin all that.”
I snort. “Since when have any of us been responsible?”
I pull a cigarette from the pack in my back pocket and set it between my lips, but I don’t light it. I never light it, not until I’m on the dirt. No use tempting the devil to take me too soon. Naw, I gotta live at least long enough to see these assholes reach old age. Not that Tripp makes that easy. He keeps drinking like he is, he’s not gonna make it.
The two of us are going to send Ram to an early grave from stress alone. Poor old man. I don’t know how he keeps it together.
“Besides,” I say, not bothering to lower my voice. I know she can hear me. I know she’s listening. Pretty little outsider. “Aren’t you tired of hiding from the world? The world tries to hide you enough as it is.”
“It’s not for my benefit,” he says, his eyes trailing back over to Tripp.
I follow his gaze, taking in Tripp’s sleeping form. Yeah, I get him trying to protect him. At the same time, he protects me. Neither one of us deserves Rammie, but here he is, saving us anyway.
The big brother I never had. Both of them. And inside my chest, there’s a little kid still wishing he could live down the hall from his brothers forever. When I wished for someone to save me as a kid, it was Rammie and Tripp I found. Not a mother. Not a father. They didn’t ask me to leave the darkness. They sat within it with me.
A bond that can’t be broken by anything. Not even a legacy that demands blood.
But our darkness has always been missing something, something we’ve all yearned for, all searched for without realizing it.
The bathroom door opens and Indie steps out, her hair a mess as she dries it with a towel, her eyes dancing over me and Ram where we watch her. She’s dressed in a baggy t-shirt and black jeans, comfort over beauty, and somehow, she’s still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
I grin. “Hey, little outsider. How do you feel about pancakes?”