Chapter Four
KAT
Tally had let me use his bathroom so Dylan could finally get some sleep in our room, without being kept awake by me showering and trying to wind down. Although the scorching hot shower I’d taken had done nothing to calm my pounding heart.
It hadn’t stopped racing since we’d left home, and there were times during the trip here I’d had to pull over, wondering if I should actually drive myself to the hospital to get it checked. I was pretty sure I’d had a full-blown panic attack.
Something that, for most people, would be completely debilitating.
But they say adrenaline can give people superhuman powers, and I was pretty sure that it had given me the power of just not break the fuck down or lose my shit that night.
I wrapped the fluffy black towel around me.
Of course the clubhouse had black towels because who the hell wants to try and clean blood and grease from a white one? I caught sight of something red as I tucked the edge of the towel under my arm and quickly whipped both hands out, holding them in front of me.
I’d scrubbed them to the point of pain.
They were practically sparkling, and yet, I swear I could still see the blood on them, even though I’d only seconds ago watched it swirl down the shower drain.
It wasn’t as if I hadn’t had blood on my hands before.
Working as a nurse meant having a comfortable relationship with bodily fluids. Blood, urine, vomit—you had to be able to hold your shit together when covered with any of the three. This was different, though.
This person hadn’t been in a hospital bed.
They’d been in my living room.
Stabbed and possibly bleeding out on my sofa.
And I’d run away.
“Hey.” I looked up into the mirror. Tally was standing behind me in the doorway, his eyes meeting mine. Eyes that I hadn’t seen for eight damn years and yet still had the same effect on me. “I just checked on Dylan. He’s sleeping.”
Up until that point, I’d been in control.
On the five-hour drive here, Dylan had slept a little, but, for the most part, we’d talked about anything to keep our minds occupied. I didn’t want to think about the person I’d left dying on my sofa or the man who had chased after us, making it clear he didn’t want to let us simply get away.
I’d ignored it all.
Just to get here.
And we’d made it.
My entire body shook with the sob that left me as the weight of the night’s events hit me suddenly. Two arms enveloped me, wrapped me up tightly from behind and held me as I struggled to breathe through the tears. We sank to the floor together, his back to the wall and me curled into a ball in his arms. I held tight to his leather, buried my face in his neck and let the tears flow.
Not because I was still scared.
But because I finally felt safe again.
Even after eight years, that energy still surrounded him, and with his body wrapped around mine, I could feel it protecting me. He was protecting me.
Tally may have driven me absolutely crazy at times, but if there was one thing I knew for sure about him, it was that he looked after the people he loved. He fought for them. I’d seen it myself, not only with his brothers’ old ladies when threats were made or kids at the club when they were in trouble, but with anyone he considered family.
Including me.
It was one of the reasons I fell so hard.
And also one of the reasons I walked away.
Because the idea of rejection and not being a part of that any more was too much to bear.
At least when I left, I could still imagine he felt that way.
“It’s okay,” he murmured, gently rocking back and forth like you would a small child. “I’ve got you.”
We stayed like that for a while, until my ass was numb from the cold tile floor, but I could finally inhale a long deep breath instead of the short, sharp ones my tears forced upon me. I still wasn’t ready to move, though. I’d forgotten how much I loved the smell of his leather and the way I felt dwarfed by his broad shoulders and muscular upper body.
I cleared my throat finally, loosening my grip on him a little. “Sorry. I wasn’t expecting the complete and utter breakdown.”
His quiet laughter jostled me a little. “That makes two of us.”
“I used to be a lot stronger,” I admitted with a smile. “When there were fights at X-Rated, I always tried to step in, break it up while fists were flying. I’m not sure when I became a runner instead of a fighter.”
“I also remember having to pull you out of those fights because those fuckers were the size of semitrucks, and you were five-foot-ten on a good day… in heels,” he teased, pinching softly at my side. A smile grew on my face, and I let out a short laugh. “Maybe you’ve just gotten a little better at picking your battles.”
I had.
Things became a lot quieter after I left X-Rated and started school. My life was a little more laid back, and my priorities had changed. I had to learn things like a good bedside manner and how to comfort people—although, sometimes, when I worked weekend night shifts, I tapped into that take-no-shit version of myself to deal with the drunks.
I glanced out the open bathroom door into Tally’s bedroom.
The bed was a mess, but when I’d walked by before, it looked like only one side had been slept in, though I still couldn’t help but ask. “Should I be worried about getting my ass beat by an old lady if they walk in and see this?”
“Possibly,” he answered, and my stomach twisted. I quickly tried to pull away, but he held me even tighter, his deep laughter vibrating through me. “I mean, Harmony was really upset when you left.”
I shook my head.
This damn man.
I pulled back just enough to see his face. “Funny,” I deadpanned. “But I meant yours, butthead.”
“Never took one,” he admitted, though he couldn’t stop smiling. That was normal. It wasn’t like I’d been the most serious person in the world, but it was obvious he got a kick out of driving me absolutely freaking crazy. I guessed that hadn’t changed. “Not a lot of women out there who want to put up with my shit on a regular basis. What about you? There a boyfriend who’s gonna show up tomorrow and throw fists at me?”
“There’s not.” I scoffed. “Between being a single mom to a temperamental preteen and trying to get my career started, there’s really no time to try and build a relationship with someone.”
That was kind of a lie.
New relationships do take time. You have to learn about each other, go out on dates, and invite them into the small bubble you’ve already created and hope that they help it grow bigger rather than just popping it. But the truth was, there’s always time if you want to make the time.
And all I’d made over the previous few years were excuses.
Mostly because being hurt again was scary.
But there was a little part that avoided seeing anyone else because I was hopeful that I’d be right here one day, back in Tally’s arms. I didn’t imagine it being so bloody or traumatic, but there was something about being back in Alabama that honestly felt right.
“All right, now that my ass is completely numb and we’ve established no one is getting beaten up…” Tally helped me up before getting to his feet, “… you need to get some sleep.”
“I’m not sure I’ll be able to close my eyes and not see the road I’ve been staring at for five hours.”
He brushed my hair back from my face and grinned. “You should really try because when Harmony finds out you’re in the clubhouse, she is not going to wait until you get out of bed. She’s going to come looking for you, and those kids wake her at 6:00a.m. without fail.”
My heart sang at the sound of those kids .
Sophie kept me updated on the club, so I knew Harmony had kids, but it would still be surreal to see Harmony and Kit as parents.
I bet they were amazing, and they really did deserve it.
“I can’t wait to meet them,” I whispered, allowing Tally to guide me across the hall to the room Dylan was sleeping in.
As I reached for the handle, he grabbed my wrist and gently turned me to face him. “If it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t want Dylan to wake up in a strange place alone, I’d be dragging you back in there.” He pointed back to his room while holding my gaze. “Just so you know.” He leaned in, pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and finally stepped back.
I swallowed past the nervous lump in my throat and the butterflies creating a tornado in my stomach, nodding to let him know I heard him.
The feelings, the emotions, the connection between us—they were still there.
Even after all these years.
And maybe that was a sign, and something I shouldn’t ignore.
Not this time.