Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Eight
I leave Selkie to fend for herself as I stalk towards Hangman’s office.
I don’t feel guilty about abandoning her.
If there’s one woman who can handle tense situations it’s Selkie.
I get sidetracked by my recollection of the woman sitting on Kozlov’s couch, flipping through a magazine like she was waiting to audition for a lead role in an action film.
“You comin’ in?” Hangman’s rasping voice pulls me back to reality. “Or loitering?”
I walk in and shove myself against the wall. He has a hard-as-fuck chair which sits facing him directly across the desk. I know he has a gun holstered under the desk, which makes sense given the number of enemies he has.
There are only a few people who’ve sat in that chair, mostly ol’ ladies, and they’ve all walked out alive. I’ve never sat in it, never will. Especially today.
Hangman nods towards it. “Have a seat.” He likes to play games, but it’s hard to tell if he’s fucking around or being serious.
I tilt my head. I’m almost sure he’s fucking around. “I’ll stand,” I say in a dead voice.
“What the fuck do you want?” he says. “My balls are full. I was about to see if Raven’s around.”
Raven’s a passaround and Hangman’s a crude prick, but that’s part of the lifestyle and I don’t care either way.
“What favor do you owe Kozlov?”
He sits back and contemplates me. To anyone else except maybe Joker, he’d tell them it’s none of their fuckin’ business, but it’s me asking and I rarely question anything or anyone. “Why?”
“Selkie was on a job this morning. Oscar was with her. Kozlov picked her up against her will. The pricks who grabbed her were physically hostile.” I stop and let that sink in.
He leans forward. “That bitch took Oscar with her on a job? What the fuck’s wrong with her.”
I don’t call him out for calling Selkie a bitch. I also don’t point out that he and I took Henri and Brielle to a meeting with an asshole Russian mob boss. Instead, I say, “That’s irrelevant.”
“Fuck, it ain’t!” Hangman snarls like Oscar’s his kid. “Where is he?”
“Safe.”
“Clubhouse?”
“No.”
He glares at me. “Somewhere better than here?”
“At the time I thought so.”
“You wanna go get her.” It’s a statement rather than a question. Hangman’s a fucker, but one of his brother’s got a problem, he’s gonna help sort it out. Except of course if it doesn’t serve his purpose. Like maybe in this case.
“I already got her,” I say.
“So, why are we having this conversation?”
“Because I asked some of the brothers to come with me to Kozlov’s to help out.”
“But not me.” His tone is cool and I’d think he was hurt by my admission except Hangman doesn’t show that kind of vulnerability.
“Who went with you?”
“Reaper, Joker, Stark. All unwillingly.”
“You forced them at gunpoint?”
“Reaper and Joker agreed under protest. Stark did as he was told.”
He pauses, places his forearms on his desk and curls his fist. “Why didn’t you come to me?”
“What’s the favor you owe Kozlov?” I ask again.
It takes less than three seconds for Hangman to comprehend what I’m asking. “You fuckin’ thought I had a hand in grabbin’ the bitch?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
Hangman looks like he’s about to turn me into dog meat. But then his face goes slack. “Why the fuck would I do something like that?”
I rub the back of my neck. None of the brothers get too worked up over what Hangman says or does even though sometimes he comes perilously close to the line separating brotherhood and murderous intent.
Even so, I’m not gonna back down. “Because sometimes you don’t give a shit about who you use to get what you want. ”
“Keep talkin’, fucker.”
“You almost got Red’s girl and sister killed last year because you wanted those feds so bad you didn’t care who you used.” As far as I know, it’s why Red left the Jury. Hangman used Stella and unintentionally, Sorcha, as bait.
He sits back in his chair, his face blank, but his eyes full of regret. “Everybody fucks up.”
That’s as close as Hangman will ever get to admitting he misjudged a situation. “That was a pretty big fuck up.”
“You don’t fuckin’ know the full story.”
Which is also true. I had a sense that there was something more because Red beat the shit out of Hangman before Hangman threw Stella under the bus.
Of course, it might have had to do with the fact that Red’s mom was shot and killed while she was with Hangman, but it seemed like it was more than that.
“Yeah. Don’t matter though. Something happened. Made me think it could happen again.”
He leans on his desk and rubs his mouth. A minute passes, then two.
I push myself off the wall to leave, but then he says, “I did a lot for you, fucker. And I didn’t ask for anything. I did it because it needed doing.”
I can’t deny that he got me through the worst time of my life and stuck around when it was over. It gives us a special bond that he doesn’t have with anyone else in the club. Not even Joker.
My mouth dries up at the look of betrayal on his face. “Yeah, you did and I owe you my life. At the same time, the past don’t factor into the present. Maybe I misjudged, maybe I didn’t. You tell me.”
The seconds hang between us, then he nods. “Yeah. Okay. I’m gonna tell you. But only because I trust you to keep your mouth shut. I asked Kozlov to track down Marissa. He’s got better connections across the country than I do. Into Canada and Mexico too.”
“Your sister?” I knew he had an older sister. That’s no secret. But as far as I know Hangman hasn’t spoken to her in years. I wanna ask why he wants to connect with her now, but it’s none of my business.
“Did he find her?”
“None of your fuckin’ business.”
“And what did he want in return?”
“Also, none of your fuckin’ business. But it wasn’t what you were thinkin’, you paranoid bastard.”
I nod. Inside though, I feel a sense of dread. The prez owes Kozlov a favor but he ain’t talkin’ about it and clearly, he hasn’t shared with Joker or the VP wouldn’t have gone with us without Hangman knowing about it.
“Now fuck off.”
I pass Joker on my way to the clubroom. We acknowledge each other, all animosity gone. He doesn’t hold grudges, which is good because someone has to keep Hangman under control.
Selkie is sitting on a barstool, a coffee cup in front of her, talking with X, Haley, and Verity.
I don’t wanna approach, not because of her, but because I don’t want to engage.
The day isn’t nearly over and I’m tired.
I can usually handle stress proactively, but I’m wound up tight.
It’s been a while since I fucked a woman, and when I look at Selkie, it’s all I wanna do.
Haley spies me and tilts her head my way. All eyes turn towards me. Selkie must see something in my face because she immediately hops off the stool. “Thanks for the coffee and convo,” she says over her shoulder as she approaches. She grabs my arm possessively. “Ready to go?”
Her touch raises the hair on my arms and her body warmth as she leans into me, makes my balls tighten. “Yeah,” I say flatly.
When we’re outside, she says, “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I say again as I open the passenger door to my truck and motion towards her.
She hops in. “Where?”
“My house. We gotta sort out how we’re gonna get our kids back to school.”
“You got beer there?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go then.” Her words sound like a promise.
I have the strangest feeling when Selkie walks inside my house. It’s like it comes alive. The shadows and silence retreat as she looks around curiously.
“This is nice,” she says as she kicks off her sneakers. I hear a tremor of nervousness in her voice.
“Needs renovating and new furniture.”
“Well, obv, but it wouldn’t be polite for me to point it out.”
I raise my eyebrows at her. “Since when has that ever stopped you?”
I grab two beers from the fridge, open them and set them on the table. The tension between us is suffocating, but I don’t know how to cross the barrier between us. She matters to me. I don’t want to fuck this up.
“You need something to eat?” Joker’s right. I’m fuckin’ feeble.
She looks at me like I’m nuts. “Yeah. What do you have?”
I think of this morning – so much has happened since then. Henri and her coffee, her comments on the toast and jam, and how she dressed Brielle. I look at her mother. Know she’d do the same thing. And in that moment, I fall in love with both of them.
“Toast and apple jelly.”
She wrinkles her nose, then takes a swallow of beer. “Not really a fan of apple jelly, so just the toast.”
I sense Chloe hover over my shoulder while I slide the bread into the toaster. It’s time, Nathan, she whispers. She’s the one to help you move on. She’s the one you need.
And then Chloe’s gone and so’s the sadness and guilt, at least for now. What’s left is the extraordinary woman sitting at my table drinking beer and watching me intently.
She plunks the beer down on the table. “I changed my mind about the toast. I need a shower more than I need to eat. Wash the crime-boss slime off me. You okay with that?”
I nod. “Fresh towels in the closet at the end of the hall.”
She leaves as the toast pops, then I hear her call, “Hey, why’s Henri’s duffle still here?”
I walk into the hall as she steps out of the bedroom Henri and Brielle slept in last night. “After we heard you were picked up, we left in a hurry.”
“Makes sense.” She pauses, then, “We should call the kids. Tell them I’m okay.”
Fuck the kids. The last of my control snaps. I stride up to Selkie, grab her by the arms and slam her against the wall.
“Hey!” she protests, then instead of struggling, she grabs my face between her hands and kisses me hard.
My heart pounds in my ears as I kiss her back, then press her head closer to mine and force my tongue into her mouth.
She scrambles under my T-shirt with her hands, short nails raking down my chest, fingers frantically tracing my pecs and abs. “Oh god,” she moans. “I’ve been thinking of this for too long.”
Me too, I think, but don’t say because even though I’m making my peace with Chloe, I’m not ready to be that vulnerable. Still, there’s no mistaking my erection as she cups it.
I jerk and gasp for air. “You’re gonna make me come in my jeans.”
“Don’t,” she warns as she kisses me on the lips, on the face, on the neck. Everywhere she can reach. Her breath is hot against my skin, inflaming me. Making me harder than I’ve ever been in my life. I open my jeans for a little relief, then my animal instinct takes over.
“Fuck it,” I snarl as I grab her T-shirt and rip it down the front.
She holds my head close to her chest as I slide my tongue through the crevice between her tits. She tastes and smells female. I know she scents me too. Nothing between us but pure animalistic passion.
“Christ,” she moans as I slide my hand inside her bra and twist a nipple. “Harder. I can handle a little pain.”
Fuck me. I bite her shoulder as I squeeze harder, then release as she gasps. “Too hard?” I say gruffly.
“Perfect,” she replies as she throws her head back and exposes her neck.
“Perfect,” I repeat. I fumble to yank her jeans open, but my lust for her is making me clumsy.
She swats my hand out of the way. “Let me.”
Then they’re open and I dive into her sweet, slick pussy, finding the hole my cock wants and filling it with my finger.
“Awe, shit,” she says breathlessly as she grips my biceps. “The finger won’t do.”
“No it fuckin’ won’t.” I yank her jeans to her ankles as I drop to my knees, then bury my nose in her cunt, smell her lust, taste her sweetness. Attack her clit.
She tangles her fingers in my hair as she bucks against my face. “Stop,” she moans as she keeps thrusting. “You’re gonna make me come. I want you to fuck me when I do that.”
I stand, drag her to my bedroom and flatten her as we both fall onto the mattress, still kissing, hands frantically seeking each other out.
Somehow she squirms out of her jeans. Somehow I manage to get my jeans over my ass. She opens her legs and when I sink into her heat, I know that I’m home. After 12 long fucking years, I’ve found my way. My eyes sear as emotion takes over.
Then she grips my ass and pushes her pussy against my groin. “Christ, you’re big.”
“Fuck,” I groan as I start sliding in and out of her. I try to maintain my control, try not to go too fast or too hard. I don’t wanna come yet and I don’t wanna hurt her.
“Faster, harder,” she almost shrieks as she wraps her legs tightly around my hips and thrusts up against me.
I fall apart, fucking her like I’ve never fucked a woman before in my life. She can take it, she can take all of me and give it back. I need her like I need to breathe.
When she’s close to coming, her breathing changes, which brings me closer. My balls tighten as jizz spurts up my cock.
“Hurry,” she gasps as she tightens her legs and digs her fingers into my back. “Please fuckin’ hurry.”
I come so hard I almost pass out. I forget about her and what she needs. All I can do is ride the turbulence, let the storm take me. I barely hear her cry as she comes.
I slump down on top of her as my body goes numb, my weight pressing her into the bed. She wraps her arms tighter around me.
Then she fuckin’ says, “This can’t happen again.”