9. Lord, Please Take Me Now
Lord, Please Take Me Now
Nikolai
A steaming plate of lasagna is placed in front of me, and my stomach growls louder than a lion ready to pounce.
“Well, I’m glad I made four casserole dishes’ worth of lasagna,” Evelyn says with a smirk as she sets the plate down. “Between you and Austin, I think we’re going to need it.”
“Hey,” Austin protests from across the table, fork in hand. “This is only my second serving. It’s not my fault they showed up late.” He nods toward Mama and me. “This is great by the way, Mrs. E,” He adds, shoveling a heaping bite into his mouth.
Was I that much of a mess as a teenager, too?
Beside him, Grace stifles a laugh. “Austin, I’m sure you could eat an entire casserole dish by yourself.” She dabs the corner of her mouth with a napkin before turning to us. “It’s good to see you, Nik. And you too, Irina.”
Grace and Austin have been best friends since childhood. They don’t see it, but they’re basically a match made in heaven. Maybe going through high school will finally make them realize it.
Mama beats me to a response. “It’s great to see you too, Kukolka. You’ve grown so much from the last time I saw you.”
A faint flush colors Grace’s cheeks.
I remember watching Daria go into freshman year and how the smallest bit of attention made her feel like she was under a spotlight. The last thing she liked was comments on how much she changed, and I’m sure Grace felt the same.
“Thank you for having us over, Evelyn. Richard. And thank you for cooking.” I smile and redirect the conversation away from Grace. “I haven’t eaten since lunch, so I’m ravenous. My stomach’s already made that pretty clear.”
Grace offers an appreciative smile, and I’m glad I made the right call.
Grace is the kind of person who avoids the spotlight.
Even as a cheerleader at the local high school, she gravitates toward the background.
I’ve never once seen her fight for the front row, even in a squad full of girls who did.
I have no idea how she and Lily ended up sisters because they couldn’t be more different.
Evelyn takes her seat between Grace and Richard, reaching for the salad in the middle of the table.
She has a knack for hosting. Every time our families gather, the table is always set with her best dishes and decorations.
Linen placemats rest beneath ceramic plates, a garden salad waits in a wooden bowl, and homemade breadsticks fill a wicker basket in front of Richard.
Between Austin and me, a glass pitcher of water catches the warm glow of the lights overhead.
“You are very welcome, Nik,” Evelyn says, passing the salad to Richard. “I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you and Irina. Busy at the company, I assume?”
Lily, seated beside Mama, answers before I can. “It’s always busy at the company, Mom.” She shifts to Mama. “But my favorite seamstress has been MIA. Where have you been, Mama Rina?”
Mama shrinks back. The last time she gave bad news, it shattered us. Tears were shed, but hope rallied us. We gathered around her and prayed with a ferocity born of absolute necessity. But this time feels different.
She offers Lily a small smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Oh, just a few health appointments keeping me away, Rybka. Nothing to worry about.”
Evelyn perks up. “Health appointments? Are you feeling sick? You should’ve told me. We could’ve rescheduled.” She takes a sip of water and glances at Austin. “Didn’t you say something was going around on the team? Maybe that’s it.”
Austin swallows a bite of lasagna before answering. “Yeah. A few of our offensive linemen have strep. Been out all week.”
Evelyn raises a strawberry-blonde brow, as if to say: That’s probably it.
If only.
Mama pushes her salad around her plate, probably weighing what to say. I reach under the table and take her hand, a silent reminder that I’m with her and that she isn’t alone through this.
She squeezes my fingers gently in return, and looks up. One by one, she meets the eyes of everyone at the table. “I’m sick again.”
The room falls into silence, confusion spreading across their faces.
It’s Richard who speaks first, his voice cautious. “What do you mean ‘sick again’? Like a cold or…” he doesn’t finish the thought, unwilling to name the darker possibility.
Mama releases my hand and places both of hers on the table. “No, Rich. I mean I’m sick again. The cancer has come back.”
Lily lets out a quiet gasp. Grace’s eyes go wide. Austin freezes, his fork suspended midair. Evelyn turns white as a ghost. And I brace myself for the inevitable impact of everyone’s reaction.
“Oh, Irina—” Richard starts.
“No, Rich.” Mama holds up her hand. “No feeling sorry for me, okay?” Her gaze sweeps across the table. “Just because the cancer is back doesn’t mean that I want to be treated any differently. Please. Let’s just forget I even said anything.”
Evelyn slams her fork down, the metal clinking loudly against her plate.
“Irina Kozlov,” she snaps, her voice sharp with hurt.
“How dare you not tell me.” She stands, pointing across the table.
“You don’t get to tell me how to feel. I can’t just forget that my best friend is going through the worst thing imaginable—again! ” The last word splinters on her lips.
Richard reaches up and pats her back, urging her to sit back down. “Let’s speak calmly, dear—”
“Calmly? Really, Richard?” She whirls on him. “That’s what you have to say at a time like this?”
“Enough.” Mama’s voice cuts through the tension. “I’m sorry for keeping this from you,” she says, turning to Evelyn. “But what could I say? I didn’t want to burden everyone all over again.”
“You don’t get to decide what I want to be burdened by, Irina.” Evelyn’s voice trembles with helplessness. “You’re my best friend. You are not a burden.”
Tears well in Mama’s eyes. “Thank you. I just… I didn’t want this to be a big deal like last time.”
“Irina,” Evelyn says gently, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin. “We love you. We want to help. Give me your schedule. I’ll move clients around, so I can take you to your appointments.”
While Mama and Evelyn start working out logistics between bites and tears, Lily leans around Mama and catches my eye. Her brow is slightly raised, her head tilts, like it’s her silent way of asking: Are you okay?
I cross my arms and give a slow nod. I have no choice but to be okay.
Mama isn’t exactly making it easy, shutting everyone out like this. She has a faith as strong as tungsten, but to hear her call herself a burden? I haven’t seen her this desensitized since Daria died, or when my drinking got out of hand.
Eventually, the conversation shifts. Evelyn insists she’ll be the one to take Mama to her appointments, since I’ll be too busy with the fall season starting. I don’t argue.
Talk turns to Grace’s cheerleading, then drifts to Austin and the upcoming football season.
Evelyn and Mama pepper him with questions about practices, rival schools, and how he feels being second-string quarterback.
There’s no doubt in my mind: Austin’s going pro.
That kid’s arm is a cannon. If the current quarterback wasn’t a senior, Austin would have that starting position locked in by now.
Then Lily steers the conversation toward Richard, who’s the chief of our local fire station.
He’s on call nearly twenty-four-seven. He has to leave for days or weeks on a rare occasion.
Grace and Lily both wear the same strained expression as Richard speaks about his schedule. You can tell how hard it is for them.
As he explains his next assignment, the conversation somehow—unfortunately—shifts to me.
“So Nik,” Evelyn says around a bite of lasagna. “How’s everything at the company? Anything new?”
After swallowing a bite of garlic bread, I nod. “Busy, like Lily mentioned. One girl got injured, two didn’t renew their contracts, and we somehow ended up short in the corps.” I take a sip of water. “I’ve been sitting in on auditions all this week, and we’ve still got four more to go.”
“I actually met one of the girls auditioning for the principal position this morning!” Lily pipes up, practically bouncing in her seat. “I almost knocked her over.” She winces and glances at Evelyn. “But don’t worry, Mom, she’s totally fine. I didn’t do anything that you wouldn’t have done.”
I cover my mouth to hide a laugh. Only Lily would say that.
Evelyn circles to me, eyes narrowing, seeking confirmation.
“The girl—Eleanor—was in one piece when she auditioned,” I say, fighting a grin. “All is well.”
Evelyn glares at Lily. “Were you running through the facility again, Lillian?”
Lily waves her hands. “Maybe.”
Evelyn raises a brow. The classic mom look that means: don’t push me.
“Okay, yes. I was.” Lily admits with a huff. “But only because I was looking for him,” she says, pointing at me.
I hold up my hands in surrender. “I swear I didn’t see her, E, I’m innocent.”
Lily agrees immediately. “He’s telling the truth. And before you say anything, I know we’ve talked about this. But I had a good reason this time.”
“Well, let’s hear it then,” Evelyn says, crossing her arms.
Lily cracks her knuckles dramatically. “To be fair, you’re the one who asked me to ask Nik and Mama Rina if they wanted to come over tonight. You said to let you know ASAP, and… well, I was doing just that.”
Evelyn pinches the bridge of her nose. “Lily, do you not remember what happened last time? Or should I remind you that you knocked over a seven-year-old boy and gave him a goose egg?”
“Mom—”
“I’m not finished. His mother came to me, demanding to know why a grown woman flattened her son. I had to offer her free counseling for a week just to keep the peace.”
Grace and Austin are doubled over in their seats laughing.
“Let’s not forget the time when Lily was sprinting through the school hall and tripped my English teacher,” Grace spouts between giggles. “Or when—”
“That’s enough, Grace,” Lily interjects, giving her a death glare that promises vengeance.