7. The Hapless In Love Book Club
7
the hapless in love book club
Selah
Manhattan, NY | September 9, 2023
For me to be such a homebody, I secretly love hosting gatherings. Since I’ve settled into my new place and made it my own, this will be my second time hosting a book club meeting. I found some new recipes on Pinterest and got some ideas to go with the theme for our book of the month. I’ve put together a drink menu based on the main characters and recreated a recipe that they made in the book.
I jotted down some good questions for discussion and I’m really looking forward to hearing what everyone else felt while reading this book. We sent memes and gif reactions in the group chat as we read along but agreed to save our notes for our next club meeting. I stocked up on tissues just in case. Oftentimes, tears can flow once we start unpacking whatever stood out to us or anything that made us feel seen. I came prepared with this book because the representation was unlike anything I’d ever read before.
Chess is usually first to arrive, so I was surprised when I answered the door to see her with Eric and Audrey. I open the door wider to let them in, and when they pass me, I notice that Chess isn’t holding her motorcycle helmet. If she isn’t at her salon or with family, she’s on that motorcycle anytime the weather permits. I admire her for being the definition of work hard, play hard.
“You didn’t ride here? It’s a nice day out.”
“I know,” she pouts and settles in. “After the week I had, I needed to drink.” She draws out the word while wrapping her arms around me in a hug.
“We’re gonna take her home,” Eric mentions, making it a group hug as he squishes us together.
“Let me know when you’re done hogging Selah,” Audrey says with a chuckle.
When we pull apart, everyone helps me set up the food spreads and make the cocktails. I made mocktails for Eric, per his request. He said designated drivers should be able to have complicated drinks, too. Chess made focaccia, and Audrey brought freshly baked cookies, which I am practically salivating over. Daya is on her way with this popcorn that I’m obsessed with.
I think back to my first few meetings with the girls. I won’t lie, I was skeptical at first. Figured the girls would be stuffy and mean, but it was the exact opposite. The food was the main selling point, then I met everyone and was taken aback by how welcoming they were. It also helped that the monthly picks were absolute bangers. So, I kept coming back and started attending outings with them because hanging out once a month didn’t suffice. For the first time in my life, I felt like I made friends who genuinely saw me. Not the shell of a person I became to survive, but who I was beneath it all. Books brought me to them.
Books and IKEA .
No one will ever believe that, but it’s the truth. A soft knock releases me from my thoughts. I turn around to see Daya coming through the door.
“I’ve arrived, and I have the dulce de leche popcorn,” she says as she removes the large bowl from her oversized tote bag and settles in. How she can find anything in that big ass bag is beyond me. She could carry a small dog around in there. Hell, Audrey’s small enough to fit in there.
Eric makes his way to her in quick strides. “Just the woman I wanted to see.”
“Oh sureee. I missed you too, big boy,” she says in a sultry voice.
When she hands him the bowl, he turns on his heels. “You know if you start being nice to me…you better watch it,” he says with a chuckle as he walks into the kitchen.
She rolls her eyes behind his back and sets down her bag. She heads over to give me a big hug with an extra squeeze. When we separate, she wears a devious grin.
“I just had an interesting conversation. I met this fine ass man in the lobby. I mean fine and I’m pretty sure he read this month’s club pick just to talk to you. He’s got the cutest dog, too.”
I recall the elevator encounter. He said he’d read it, and we’d discuss it whenever he saw me again.
He actually read it.
I haven’t seen him with a dog, but she couldn’t be talking about anyone else.
“Are you talking about Greyson?”
“Oh, Greyson. You’re so formal. He likes you,” she says in a singsong voice.
I wave my hand and grab my drink.
“Girl, please. I met him a week ago in the elevator. That man hardly knows me.”
“He described her as captivating,” she says to Chess and her eyebrows shoot up. “We’re going to circle back to what happened in this elevator momentarily. The man read a romance novel just to talk to you. He’s interested. Even said he’s a fan of Lilith Keene and can’t wait for her next book.”
“I think I like him already,” Chess adds .
Audrey blurts, “Meeting a fine man in an elevator was not mentioned in the group chat this week. Why not?”
“There was nothing to tell.”
The girls all collectively give me a look that screams bullshit .
“Who is this fucking guy? I need to do a background check on him,” Eric says.
“I just said it’s nothing and relax. You don’t do background checks on any of my SoulBlend dates.”
He begins humming as he walks backward, still facing me when he asks, “Audrey, what guy lives here that you’d consider attractive that has a dog?”
She takes a break from setting up the charcuterie board to wash her hands. She looks up for a moment. “Hell, if I know. I just own the building. Avery’s more involved with this property than I am, but the property manager’s name is Harlan.”
“Does he live on site? Let’s pay him a visit. Surely there’s some records on this guy with the dog, and you have a key to the office.”
“He does live here, but we’re not bothering him. We’re going to talk about books tonight, and you are off duty anyway.” She whips her head around and flings her wet hands at him before grabbing a towel. “Go find something else to do. You’re stressing me out.”
“Fine.” He scoffs, grabbing a handful of food from the board she’s preparing, and stuffs his mouth full. When he swallows, he says, “This book was fucking nasty. I was hard as a building reading it.”
We all burst into laughter.
“See what I gotta deal with?” Audrey says, shaking her head as she resumes plating the snacks.
Eric is nothing like what he seems at first glance. He presents himself as a grumpy and quiet person professionally, but he really lets loose when he’s comfortable, like me. I’ve found him to be a real wildcard, like Chess. You also can never predict what he’s going to say next, like Audrey. A bad idea often sounds good, like Daya. He can always cheer you up with a laugh, a good time and is fiercely protective, which sums up the whole group. It makes perfect sense why he fits right in.
“I’m excited for us to talk about this book,” Audrey says, bringing over the charcuterie board she’s been working on in the kitchen. Eric is close behind with more snacks and spreads to set on my coffee table. Chess and Daya come in with their drinks while Audrey sets up the slideshow. We are that kind of book club, and we all contribute. We have somehow managed to make slideshows both entertaining and educational while talking about smut.
It’s a talent, really.
“Is Rome coming?” I ask Audrey.
“He’ll be here. We read this one together. Well, he read it me with the narrator voice,” she adds, blushing.
Audrey’s long-time boyfriend, Rome, is a hot-shot criminal defense lawyer. One of the best in the country. When he’s not working, he’s busy being a book boyfriend, another role he enjoys very much. That’s why he secretly loves playing narrator and insists on reading her books to her as often as he can.
He does have the voice for it.
Like Eric, he’s an honorary member of the ‘Hapless In Love Book Club.’ As much as he pretends not to care, he hates missing meetings when he’s stuck working on cases. He doesn’t have a bunch of time to read our monthly picks, so he opts for the audiobooks while working and commuting. I can’t imagine him doing either while maintaining a straight face. Eric sure as hell can’t and reads in public, often at the office with Audrey, adjusting himself, turning red and everything. It’s hilarious, and he’ll just keep on reading.
A knock on the door sounds, I look up and it’s Rome letting himself in.
“Sorry, I’m late. I had a meeting with the partners at the firm. Did I miss anything?”
“Not yet. We just started eating and setting up the slides. ”
“Good shit,” he says as he gets settled, grabbing a seat on the sectional beside Audrey. He greets her with a peck and rests his hand on her thigh.
Eric dims the lights and the slideshow starts. Lilith Keene’s name flashes across the screen with a photo of the book cover.
Audrey kicks it off. “Welcome, Hapless Lovers. Thank you all for coming. Tonight, we’ll be going over our club pick for August. Lilith Keene’s debut and new favorite of mine. Last month, we dove into enemies-to-lovers territory with this workplace romance. Let’s see what you rated it.”
She flips through everyone’s star ratings; I’m not surprised to see five stars from the whole club for this book. We usually start off serious, then get into the spice before crying. Currently, the memes in the slideshow have us laughing uncontrollably at the best dirty quotes. ‘The Hapless In Love Book Club’ slogan is: If it ain’t got spice, no dice.
I fucking love this book club and everyone in this room.