chapter 36
[Jude]
I’d almost fucked up.
When she told me she loved food, I almost said I love you. Which I never say to anyone, other than my sister, and even then, it’s a shortened version.
I don’t know what’s come over me other than a foreboding feeling that the wedding is my last night with Angelica.
A date for a date. Yet, somehow, we’ve turned into so much more.
Work has been hectic, to say the least, and the late nights and early mornings didn’t leave me much spare time to foster whatever is between Angelica and me. Because there definitely is something happening between us. Something I’d like to continue to explore, but I didn’t know how.
Thankfully, before I said something foolish, I did something sexy and dirty. To my surprise, Angelica went along with it.
Because I trust you.
Fuck. The statement was equal to saying she loved me, which would not, could not happen. We had a deal.
Deals are meant to be broken, she once said. Even fake ones.
I wasn’t worried about breaking a deal as much as her breaking my heart.
I’ve never really listened to wedding vows, but I listened wholeheartedly to Beau and Belle’s. Love, honor, and respect. Good times and bad. Sickness and health. Until death parts them.
I want to do all those things with Angelica. I wanted to be good enough, but I still didn’t feel that I was.
I’d fallen for her. Hard and fast, and rather completely, and it scared the fuck out of me that she might not feel the same way in return. I needed to end things before she ended them for us.
Still, I wanted one more night.
In A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge is visited by three ghosts on Christmas Eve. The experience transforms him, and his changes begin on Christmas Day.
My epiphany happened the day after Thanksgiving because of a heart attack, and the bargain I made to an angel.
Being that I’m still a devil inside, though, I intend to steal one more night.
Christmas Eve, we are open for those late-night, last-minute shoppers, however, our doors close at eleven.
I’ll be here until midnight. While most might think I’m sitting up in my tower office, punching numbers into a spread sheet, and tallying Ashford’s profits, I’m not.
I’m thinking about one hot, redheaded EMT.
911. I text her.
What’s wrong? Angelica had to work a double today to make up for her shift change on December twenty-third. She already explained the holiday scheduling of the department, and how she always takes Christmas Eve night to give parents time to do their thing for their kids.
Possible heart attack.
I rock back in my comfy desk chair, knowing I shouldn’t be joking about a health scare with an emergency medical technician.
Jude, you need to call 911 for real.
A pause.
I’ll do it for you.
NO!
No ambulance.
Only you.
Another pause follows before three dots pop up and disappear.
This isn’t funny. What’s going on?
A broken heart.
The ticker is tightening in my chest. She’s my only solution. Just one more night. Christmas will be my reset like it always is. A day where I do nothing but drink my weight in whiskey and stare at mindless television, attempting to unwind from the hustle and bustle of the season.
Meet me at Ashford’s State Street entrance. Midnight.
Last night, Angelica did sit on my lap like a woman on Santa.
Her green velvet dress was pooled at her waist, blanketing where we were connected.
I held her in a way she faced my wall-to-wall windows.
Our reflection mingled with the winter night’s glow from the city streets of Chicago, and we watched as I entered her.
The vision was enough to beg for another night, and tonight’s plan evolved last minute.
Close to midnight, I head to the first-floor entrance and wait. Security is present in the building but has confirmed that Ashford’s is empty, minus our overnight cleaning crew.
I’ve requested that no one enter the seventh floor. The Oak Room specifically.
When Angelica finally arrives, she looks skeptical and exhausted, as she only got off shift about a half-hour ago. For a second, I reconsider. Between the hectic holiday, Beau’s wedding, and her job, plus a late night of incredible sex, she looks like she’s been run ragged.
She also looks beautiful with her hair in a wide braid and her uniform still on.
I open the front door and invite Angelica in, leaving the security guard to secure the entrance.
“Jude, are you sure you are okay?” She scans me from top to toe.
Admittedly, I like her concern.
“No chest aches? No heart palpitations? What about fluttering?” She reaches for my wrist like she’s about to check my pulse.
I chuckle and catch her hand with mine, lifting it to kiss her palm. “I’m hoping for all of the above.”
First, I have something to show her. Keeping her hand in mine, I lead her toward the escalators. I asked maintenance to leave them running a few minutes longer.
“What is this all about?” she questions, taking in the dim lights and noticing the emptiness within the department store.
“Special VIP tour.” I nod like I didn’t just make that up.
Angelica only stares back at me. Those soft blue eyes are wide and suspicious as we take the first escalator upward. Then the next. Eventually, she relaxes into the ride up six stories up to the seventh floor.
Once there, I place my hand on her back and lead her toward The Oak Room.
The lights are off in the entryway except for the exit signs. The dining room is dark as well, except for the giant two-story Christmas tree lit in the center.
“Wow,” Angelica whispers, staring up at the tree decorated in white lights and countless ornaments that glitter and glow from the silver and gold sprinkled on each of them.
Slowly, she lowers her head and looks at me like she did that day when I caught her staring at the glass dome in the center of the building. A second dome is in this room, but unable to be easily seen because of the towering tree.
“It’s so beautiful,” she continues to whisper, as if in awe.
“I knew you’d like it.” Angelica loves Christmas despite the rat-race of it, and I wanted to give her this one peaceful moment before tomorrow morning, which I’m certain will be filled with squealing children in her gran’s cozy home.
I almost wish I could be there.
With her head lowered, she glances back toward the room, noticing the pile of pillows and blankets spread beneath the tree.
“What’s that?” Her voice catches as if she knows what it is but still asks.
“A midnight picnic.”
Her hands clasp in front of her chest, and she dips her head. “Did you do all this for me?”
“I thought you could use a silent night before all the noise, noise, noise tomorrow,” I tease, and wave in the direction of the chilled champagne bucket and a three-tiered tray with chocolates and strawberries, plus whipped cream.
Angelica slowly walks toward the nest I’ve made, and I follow, watching the sway of her hips and how the light of the tree reflects off her hair, highlighting the multiple colors within the red braid.
My chest does ache. She’s so beautiful, and I imagine her freckle, sight unseen.
My freckle.
When she stands beside the spread duvet, her brows pinch. “Did you open these fresh from the store?”
I shrug. The housewares department will forgive me. The items will only be used once.
Angelica bends forward to unlace her boots, and I toe off my shoes. My suit coat was removed hours ago, and my shirt sleeves are rolled to my elbows. I hold out my hand like I’m helping her step into a hot tub or a boat, or a sleigh of blankets.
We fold down to the pillows, and I reach for the champagne chilling in a stainless-steel bucket then pour each of us a glass.
Handing a flute to her, I hold up mine. “Merry Christmas, angel.”
“Merry Christmas, Jude.” She tilts her head. “I thought you didn’t celebrate?”
I don’t. But am I?
I chuff and lift my glass for a bubbly sip. I’m a man used to the finer things in life. Champagne. Fast cars. Expensive suits. But I’ve found more comfort and joy in a woman with a cozy apartment, a tempting freckle, and a loving extended family.
The champagne suddenly tastes bitter on my tongue, but I ignore it. Instead, I reach for a strawberry and hold it out for Angelica to take a bite. The fruit is huge, and red juice drips down her chin.
Nothing holds me back. I lunge for her, licking up the dribble and then thrusting my tongue into her mouth. The action nearly knocks her over, and she chuckles against my mouth.
“Whoa. Slow down.” She swipes at her lips while I lean back.
“I’ve told you I don’t know how to go slow.” But I also told her I wouldn’t ever love her.
Could she love me?
Angelica reaches around me and drags the tiered dessert-stand closer to us. She picks up a chocolate and holds it out to me. I take a hearty bite.
Her brow tips like she wants my assessment.
“Not as good as yours.”
“You’re a charmer.” She giggles.
Am I? Does she find me charming? Does she want to keep me?
The thought is too heavy, and I reach for a strawberry again, swiping it through the cream before holding it out for her mouth again. She leans forward for a bite, but I pull the fruit back.
“Tease.” Her eyes gleam in the glow of the Christmas tree.
I snort. “You’re the tease.” With her hair and her smile and her ease.
I push the strawberry toward her again and watch as she takes another sensuous bite.
She doesn’t realize how seductive she is.
And with a drop of cream on her lip, I attack again, licking at the spot and then kissing her deeply once more.
She doesn’t laugh this time or pull back. Instead, she melts into the kiss until I’m pressing her backward. Once she’s on her back, I slowly unbutton her uniform shirt, revealing a tank top underneath. The shirt must go. The tank as well.
“Jude,” she glances over her shoulder, like someone will see us.
I tug her upright to remove her tops. “There’s no one here. Just you and me tonight.”