Chapter 46 Misty
MISTY
Ryan follows me into the kitchen after Austen leaves, speeding away in my car that I lent him without even thinking about it because I’ll never be able to say no to him.
I’m never going to see that car again, am I? I sigh.
“You know, I was glad to see you get back into hockey this year. You’re so good at it. And I hate to see you giving up something you obviously love.” His eyes search mine. “At least, I thought you loved it.”
“Yeah, it’s good to let out some aggression. Austen thought I spent too much time on hockey. It was interfering with his endorsement deals.”
Ryan nods. “He would always complain about it in the locker room.”
“So he did mention me at work.” I give a weak laugh.
Ryan stares at his drink. “I never liked your ex,” he says, not bothering to hide the edge in his voice. “Parenting books said to stay out of it, so I did. But for what it’s worth, I couldn’t stand him. Austen, not Talbot.”
My throat tightens.
“You changed your first name right when you graduated college and said nothing about taking mine, so I just assumed you really were just tolerating me all these years.” Ryan gives me a sad smile.
I stare down at my feet in the knitted Christmas socks I made for Austen one year and he insisted on just leaving here—You know, for safekeeping.
“And it wasn’t my place to say anything. I thought if I gave it time...” He sighs.
Ryan leans against the fridge. He doesn’t crowd me. Never has. That’s part of the problem. He always made space for me—even when I didn’t ask him to.
“I always remember when I saw your mom and just fell completely in love with her.” He smiles softly at the memory.
“People think that you can’t fall in love with someone the first time you see them take a sip of a glass of wine or listen to them laugh, but you can.
” He swirls his glass. “She waited a week to tell me she had a daughter. She was so worried I’d bolt. ”
“I was surprised she trusted me enough to meet you. I don’t want to burst your bubble,” I tell him bitterly, “but waiting a whole entire week? My mom must have really wanted to make it work with you.”
I should keep my mouth shut, but hey, misery loves company, and maybe Talbot changed me about as much as I changed him, which is to say not much at all except leaving just enough of the worst bits of his personality behind so I can never escape him.
Ryan doesn’t look shocked or betrayed, though. “She loves you. She wanted to protect you. She was so nervous when she introduced us. You were the coolest eleven-year-old I ever met. I just wanted you to like me.”
He sighs.
“But you never warmed up to me,” he continues.
“Not really. I tried, Misty. I wanted to be there. I didn’t want to be just another boyfriend your mom brought home who disappeared after a few months.
I wanted to prove I could be better. That I would stick.
People kept saying you’d come around, and you didn’t. ”
I don’t know what to say.
“I had a college fund for you,” he says softly. “You didn’t use it.”
“I didn’t know,” I whisper.
“I didn’t want to pressure you. Figured you’d ask if you needed help. Then you didn’t.”
“I was never rude to you. My mom beat that into me.” I manage a pained laugh.
“Of course not.” Ryan’s brow furrows. “You were always poised, polite, and helpful. Always did what you were told. You just never warmed up to me, like you never trusted me. I couldn’t get through.
” He pushes around a magnet on the fridge.
“You know, my dad ran off when I was eight. My mom was a single mom. She would bring her boyfriends by. The better I was at hockey, the longer they’d stay, but they would never really stick around. Guess I wasn’t good enough.”
“Maybe you should have aimed for seven Stanley Cups,” I joke, voice sounding raw.
He laughs, strained. “I wanted to prove I could be a better stepdad to you than them. Guess I failed.”
I look at him then—really look at him—and for the first time, I see him not just as my mom’s husband or the man who sat at the other end of the dinner table. But as a person who was once a little boy, who’s been desperately trying this whole time.
“I wanted to be there for you. Now with this mess with your ex, I don’t think you ever will come around. And I know I screwed up, taking Brielle’s side last year. I—”
I give him a knowing look. “Brielle is Brielle. Everyone’s scared of Brielle. You’ve done so much for my mom and me.”
He gives me a wan smile. “There you go again. That polite distance.”
“I’m not—”
He holds up a hand. “Asking for anything else. I know it’s on me.
I just...” He runs a hand through his hair.
“You work so hard. You should have someone to lighten the load. I had hoped that Talbot could be that man. He seemed good for you, like he knew exactly what you needed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you genuinely laugh as much as you did when he was around.
And he took care of you. You were his number one.
I could just see it on his face how much he adores you. You deserve that, Misty.”
And just like that, all I can think about is a man with silver eyes and a wide mouth. “He’s a liar. He lied to me. He used me,” I remind him and myself. “He kills people for a living.”
“So? I made money playing hockey for a living. It’s not exactly solving world hunger.” Ryan snorts. “If he offed that health insurance CEO who denied all those pediatric cancer patient claims, he’s actually probably been more of a net positive than I have.”
“I just wanted the perfect ending with him. I wanted—” I wave my hand around. “This.”
“I don’t see why you can’t. Seems like assassins get paid well. I think Mr. Abdulov is moving to Florida,” Ryan says earnestly.
“Not the house. I mean, like, you know, the family and Christmas and cookies. A home. A future.”
“Just because this is what your mom and I have doesn’t mean that is what you have to have exactly.
It could be different. It could be better.
” Ryan sets down his glass. “Also, again, not trying to dictate your life, but I traveled a lot for work. And Talbot’s probably better able to make his own schedule, if you were worried about kids. ”
My phone beeps.
“Is that him?”
“Nope. An angry message from Austen with a list of more demands he needs.” I sigh. “I need to figure out how to book him into a nicer hotel. I don’t know what’s wrong with a Motel 8.”
I scroll through the messages. There’s a notification from my bank informing me I received a refund.
I do the quick math. It’s seventy-five percent of what I paid Talbot originally. I stare at it, breath catching in my throat. I make a decision, one that Mom and Pamela and Kathy will so not approve of.
“I have to go.”
Ryan makes a dejected noise.
“But why don’t you and I, when I’m back in Maplewood Falls, grab a drink? My treat. Maybe play a little one-on-one.” I mime shooting a puck.
“Yeah?” He’s hopeful. “I’d like that.”
“Could I...” I hesitate. I don’t ask Ryan for things. My mom would kill me. “Do you think I could borrow your car? I’ll come back tomorrow. Probably. Is that okay?”
Ryan beams. “Of course. Are you bringing Talbot back with you?”
“Nope. Austen.”