Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Ariana
I’d spent the last few days locked up in my apartment studying for the bar exam. I hadn’t heard from Luca at all, and that bothered me. I had sent him a few text messages, only to go unanswered. I was worried about him, so I called Olivia.
“Shouldn’t you be studying for the bar?” she answered in her perky voice.
“Have you seen Luca?” I asked.
“Of course. I see him every day at work. Why?”
“I haven’t heard from him since Sunday after he dropped me off. I sent him a few text messages, and he never texted me back.”
“That’s odd. I know he’s been busy with court and some new cases that came in this week. Maybe he’s just keeping his distance so you can focus on your studies.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right.”
“Good luck tomorrow,” she spoke. “I know you’ll ace it.”
“Thanks, Olivia. I’ll talk to you soon.”
Something wasn’t sitting right with me. It was a feeling I had in the pit of my stomach. I missed and wanted to see him, so I tried one last time.
“I’m going to Dooley’s for a drink at seven o’clock. I’m hoping you’ll meet me there. I really need to calm my nerves before tomorrow.”
The truth was I wasn’t nervous at all about taking the bar. It was the only thing I was confident about in my life at the moment. I waited for a response, and one never came. Maybe he was in a meeting and hadn’t seen it yet. Maybe he was on the phone, or maybe he was just flat-out ignoring me for some fucking reason. I grabbed my purse and headed to Dooley’s. He’d meet me there. I was sure of it. After everything he’d done for me, he wouldn’t not wish me luck.
“What can I get you, Miss?” a hot young male bartender named Kevin asked.
“Vodka on the rocks. Make it a double, please.”
“Tough day?” he asked with a smile as he poured the vodka with finesse into the glass.
“Tough week. I’ve been studying for the bar exam that I’m taking tomorrow.” I smiled.
“Ah. Good for you. Good luck.”
“Thanks.”
I sat there with my phone on the bar, sipping my drink, waiting for Luca to either call, text, or show up. An hour and a half had passed, and I heard nothing from him.
“Can I get you anything else?” Kevin asked.
I pulled my credit card from my wallet and handed it to him.
“Just cash me out.”
It was a beautiful night out, and my apartment was only a couple of blocks away, so I decided to walk home instead of taking a cab. I was hurt and on the verge of tears at the fact that he couldn’t bother to show up at Dooley’s or that he couldn’t be bothered to text me back. I walked past his building on the way to mine and saw Emil standing outside, holding the door open for someone as they brought in some packages.
“Hi, Emil.” I waved as I walked by.
“Ariana, wait! How are you?”
“I’m okay. How are you?” I asked as I turned around.
“I’m good. I haven’t seen you around in a while.”
“I’ve been busy studying for the bar exam.”
“Oh wow. I didn’t know you were a lawyer.”
“Almost.” I smiled. “Hey, is Luca home by any chance?”
“I don’t think so. I haven’t seen him.”
“Oh. Okay. Well, I better get home. Only a few more hours left for studying.”
Just as I turned around, I saw Luca climbing out of his Bentley. Shit. I turned the opposite way and ran into Brad—double shit.
“Hello there, Ariana.” He smiled brightly.
“Brad.” I nodded. “Excuse me, but I have to get home,” I spoke in a panicked voice.
“Ariana.” I heard Luca’s voice from behind.
I could feel my rapid heart beating faster by the second. I swallowed hard before turning around to face the man I hadn’t heard from in three days—the same man who stood me up tonight. Suddenly, out of nowhere, anger rose inside me.
“Luca. Did you get my text messages?”
He cleared his throat before answering.
“Yes. I’ve just been really busy.”
“Too busy to take five seconds to let me know that you wouldn’t be able to make it to the bar?”
“I’ve been in back-to-back meetings all day and in court.”
“Okay.” I lightly nodded with a smug tone. “I have to go.”
“Good luck tomorrow.”
I stuck my middle finger up at him as I walked away. An involuntary gesture that I had no control over. I could still hear Brad’s laughter as I turned the corner. The moment I stepped into my apartment, I lost it. The tears I had been fighting flooded my eyes as I curled up on the couch into a ball and cried myself to sleep.
I slowly opened my swollen eyes, and for a brief moment, I felt disoriented. Realizing that it was the middle of the night, I dragged my ass off the couch and reached into my purse to get my phone to check the time. It was one thirty in the morning. Walking into the bathroom and flipping on the light, I washed my face, changed into my nightshirt, set my alarm on my phone, and then climbed into bed. My stomach was a knotted mess. It was as though he was a totally different man—a man whom I didn’t like very much at the moment.
The first part of the exam was over, and it was time to break for lunch. I grabbed my purse and headed to a small café down the street for a sandwich and much-needed coffee. I had approximately an hour and fifteen minutes before returning and taking the second part of the exam. I pulled my phone out of my purse and noticed a text message from Olivia.
“How did it go? Did you survive the first part? Was it hard? Was it excruciating? I need details!”
I couldn’t help but smile as I dialed her number.
“So, how did it go?” she asked as she answered.
“Piece of cake.”
“You’re weird, Ari. Have you, by any chance, talked to Luca?” she asked.
“No. Why?”
“He’s in a foul mood today. He’s like a woman with severe PMS.”
“Glad I’m not there.”
“Any idea what his problem could be?”
“No. Sorry, I don’t. Listen, I have to go. I’ll call you soon.”
I ended the call and held the round white coffee cup between my hands. Maybe his mood had something to do with me flipping him off yesterday. After finishing my sandwich, I returned to take the second half of the bar exam.
Luca
I thought about her all day and wondered how her exam went. Today was the last day, and David told me that she would find out her results on Tuesday at the latest. The night I ran into her outside my building, she was pissed, and I didn’t blame her. She had every reason to be. I did all the things I had done for her because I wanted to. Why I wanted to, I had no clue. I’d never done anything like what I did before. I needed to explain to her that things would never work out for us. If we talked like two adults, then maybe things at the office wouldn’t be awkward. What the fuck did I do?
It was Sunday, and I stopped by Ariana's apartment on the way home from visiting my grandfather. Taking in a deep breath, I knocked on the door. Hell, I didn’t even know if she was home or not. I stood there, my nerves getting the best of me as I patiently waited. Then, I heard the deadbolt unlock, and the door opened.
“What are you doing here, Luca?” she asked sternly.
“I need to talk to you.”
“I have nothing to say to you.” She went to shut the door, and I stopped it with my hand.
“Ariana, we need to talk,” I spoke in an authoritative tone.
“Fine. Come on in.” She waved her hand and sighed.
I stepped inside her apartment, and she immediately sat on the couch. After shutting the door behind me, I approached her.
“How did the exam go?”
“It went fine.” She refused to look at me.
“Listen, Ariana, I’m sorry.”
“I’m sure you are. Everyone in my life seems sorry when they hurt me.”
“Not fair.” I shook my head.
“Luca,” she got up from the couch, “what do you want? Why did you come here? I haven’t heard from you for a week, and now you think you can waltz into my apartment and think I even want to talk to you?”
“I know you’re pissed off, and I’m sorry about that. There are some things I need to say.”
“Then, by all means, say them.” She threw her hands in the air as she walked to the kitchen and pulled a bottle of wine from the refrigerator.
“I like you, Ariana. I really do. But things could never work out for us.”
She pulled a glass down from the cabinet, poured some wine into it, and took a sip before speaking.
“Things could never work out for us?” She cocked her head. “And why is that, Luca?”
“Because I’m not the man you think I am.” I placed my hands inside my pocket and paced around the room. “Everything I’ve done for you. I did because you needed help. Olivia is an employee of mine, and you’re her good friend who suddenly up and left Boston with no place to live and no job. I helped you get in to take the bar because I didn’t want to see someone as bright as you have to work a dead-end job because of formalities.”
“And the furniture?” she asked as she took another sip of wine.
“It was just to help you get settled faster. I can have payroll make weekly deductions for it. If that’s what you want.”
“Yes, please do. I don’t want to owe you a thing.”
“Fair enough.”
“And what about the other day when you couldn’t keep your hands off me?”
“We’re two consenting adults who were attracted to each other. It happens all the time.”
“You’re right, and I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but to me, it was only sex. So, Mr. Russo, I apologize for giving you the wrong idea. Obviously, you misread me and assumed I wanted something more from you. My apocalyptic life is a mess as it is, and the last thing I need is the complications of some relationship with a man I barely even know.”
“You were pissed off at me the other night outside my building.”
“You’re right. I was. And you want to know why? Because I thought we were friends. You had helped me so much since I moved here, and all I wanted was one drink with you before I had to take the biggest exam of my life.”
“Again, I’m sorry. I just thought?—”
“You just thought I fell madly in love with you because you stuck your dick in me. That’s what you’re used to. Well, I’m not, Luca. And as far as you not being the man I thought you were, you’re right. I’m not even sure being friends is in the cards for us. I think it’s best to maintain a professional relationship since we must work together.”
“That’s what I came here to tell you.”
“Good. Then we both agree,” she spoke. “I’ll see you at the office, Mr. Russo.” She walked to the door and opened it.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I nodded.
I left her apartment feeling worse than I did when I first arrived there. I was ready for it. Ready for her to fall to her knees with tears streaming down her face, begging me to stay. That was what the women I dated always did. But not her. No. She just stood there with a serious look on her face and a serious tone in her voice and told me that I just assumed she felt something for me. That I was just her friend. She was a good liar. Of course, she was; she was a lawyer. Hearing her say what she did pissed me off. I came there to tell her it would never work for us. But she turned it around, monopolized the conversation, and told me things I didn’t want to hear. The more I thought about it, the more anger flowed inside me. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. I wanted nothing more than to protect her, and that was exactly what I was doing. She wouldn’t understand. She couldn’t understand. Fuck. Why did this hurt so bad?