Chapter 23
Looking out of the bedchamber window on a chilly autumn morning, blustery and threatening rain, Elizabeth sighed. The world seemed a rather grey and hopeless place.
But that was absurd, surely. She ought to be feeling relief and satisfaction, not this odd, dull unease.
In what still seemed half a miracle to her, her manuscript was complete.
As of the night before, the pages were recopied cleanly, neatly packaged up, and ready to go to London and Mr Tilney in the next post.
And it was a relief, to be sure. The novel was complete, if not when Mr Tilney had first wished it, and Elizabeth felt in her bones that it was good.
The second printing of her previous novel had come out, and sales remained strong.
Indeed, the royalties were so steady she might soon face the choice of whether to move them to a larger cottage, trusting the funds to remain steady, or to begin saving for dowries.
Compared to what they had faced after her father’s death, it was a pleasant dilemma indeed.
Yet despite knowing how much she had to be grateful for, Elizabeth’s heart was not at peace.
The gulf that separated her from Mr Darcy was too wide, and the likelihood that she might never see him again too great.
Thanks to Elizabeth’s carelessness, Caroline Bingley had won the day.
Whether such a victory might lead Miss Bingley to the proposal she so obviously wished was less clear.
In her more hopeful moments, Elizabeth believed that Mr Darcy was too sensible to be taken in by such a woman.
Surely he must see her for what she was, and know that he would be miserable married to so scheming and self-serving a wife.
In her less hopeful moments, Elizabeth recalled that Miss Bingley had, after all, triumphed over herself.
Who was to say that she could not triumph over Mr Darcy’s good sense as well?
And so Elizabeth read Miss Darcy’s letters with difficulty each time they arrived, wondering if this would be the missive that would inform her that Mr Darcy was well and truly lost to her forever.
“Lizzy, dear, why are you so downcast? Surely, you must not have heard, or you would not look so glum,” Mrs Bennet exclaimed as she opened the door without knocking and sailed into the room, followed by Jane and Mary.
“No, Mother, I have not heard any pleasant news. Perhaps you might tell me,” Elizabeth suggested, choosing to skip over the question of her mood entirely.
No good could come of inviting her mother to share in her disappointed hopes.
Mrs Bennet loved all her daughters, but she lacked the sensitivity of spirit that would have enabled her to truly support them in dark times of the spirit.
“Oh, such news! Mr Bingley has returned to Netherfield, and all Meryton is in a positive uproar because of it.” Her mother sank onto the bed. “It is a pity we are too poor to go out into society anymore. I am convinced that our Jane could catch his eye. She is the beauty of the county, after all.”
Jane’s cheeks coloured at this. “Mama, you must not speak so, for you will make me terribly vain.”
Elizabeth smiled privately to herself at the thought of Jane being made vain by anything, but her practical older sister was already going on. “I am sure we would not be looked down on if we were to reenter society, Mama,” Jane said. “Why do we not attend the next assembly?”
“Heaven forbid!” Mrs Bennet replied with a gasp that, though rather over-done, yet seemed to have something of genuine feeling in it.
“We would all need new gowns and slippers. And our ribbons, hats, and gloves are a disgrace! No, I will not lower myself in the estimation of our friends and neighbours to make calls in our impoverished state.” She flashed a smile at Elizabeth.
“But I am sure with our Lizzy’s brilliant success, we will soon be able to move to more comfortable and suitable accommodation? Accommodations befitting our station?”
Elizabeth swallowed hard. “I do not know, Mama,” she replied.
“The expense of a larger house would be considerable. It might be unwise to risk it. However, I do think that we could all have some new clothes — not all that we might wish, perhaps, but at least one gown apiece. I think it is time for us to reenter society, just as Jane has said. Surely our true friends would not look down on us, even if our gowns are not as fine as we might wish. I have heard from Lady Lucas on several occasions that we would be welcome.”
“That is not the point!” their mother railed.
She waved them off and started pacing. “When we do reenter society, we must make the best impression possible, to ensure that all of you girls can find worthy husbands. Now, get up. We must make ourselves ready in case we are to receive Lady Lucas after her morning calls.”
Their mother bustled out of the room. Elizabeth huffed a sigh of relief when she was gone.
Much as she loved her mother, she was not always restful company — particularly when her expectations so greatly exceeded reality.
She strongly suspected that the slightly larger but still modest cottage that she might consider appropriate to their increased income would fall far short of what Mrs Bennet had in mind.
“Why does she refuse to go out?” Elizabeth sighed to the room at large.
“I believe it would do all of us good if we were to have a renewed sense of purpose in our day-to-day lives. Being cooped up in this house is doing none of us any favours, especially Kitty and Lydia. They will be driven to distraction if they do not get out. And it will be impossible for any of you to find husbands if Mama refuses to let you out of the house.”
“I am of the same mind, Lizzy. But what can be done? At least when you were in London, you had the chance to go out into society with our aunt and uncle. Mama is too proud to go out anymore, with our reduced circumstances.”
“But the proceeds from my books have taken care of us well, have they not? We have a roof over our heads and plenty to eat. Why does it matter if we do not have the latest in London fashions? It is our hearts and minds that should matter most, not our clothing.”
“I also agree on that point. But Mama was raised to think much differently. And habits and ways of thinking die hard,” Jane sighed. “Our mother means well, to be sure, though you and I may find her misguided. She wants us all to marry well and be happy.”
“Then she ought to let us go out in society, for we certainly shall not marry if we remain always in this cottage.” Trying to let go of her frustration, Elizabeth looked out the window at the little country lane.
It made a pretty picture, covered in the fallen yellow and orange leaves, which were being blown about by a gentle breeze.
“It is a pity we will not have the chance to meet your Mr Bingley,” Jane remarked. “He sounds like a most exemplary fellow.”
“Yes, I found him so.”
Jane nodded. “Lizzy, there is one more piece of news that Mama neglected to tell you, but that I believe you will find to be of great interest.”
Elizabeth rather doubted it, but it was kind of Jane to see the lowness of her mood and attempt to divert her. Elizabeth resolved to play along as best she could. “Oh? What is that?”
Jane smiled at her then. Elizabeth blinked. Was there not something ever so slightly mischievous in that smile?
“I have heard that Mr Bingley is not alone. Mr Darcy has arrived as well, along with his young sister.”
Elizabeth cursed her heart for racing in exhilaration.
She ought not to think that she had much chance of seeing him, simply because he was in the same neighbourhood.
As long as Mrs Bennet prohibited them from going into society, any meeting between them could be only by accident, if they happened to meet in Meryton or on a countryside walk.
Not to mention that if they did meet, the awkwardness of her sudden departure would be between them. She should not think that he had come to Hertfordshire for her sake. She was being ridiculous even to imagine it. She would stop immediately.
Elizabeth’s sensible intentions were wisely made and immediately broken.
Jane started toward the door. “You ought to make yourself ready, as Mama said. We will likely have a visit from Lady Lucas, and she will tell us all the news we are yearning to know of the outside world.”
Elizabeth sighed and went behind the screen to change. She doubted there would be talk of anything else save for Mr Bingley, Mr Darcy, and Miss Darcy in the weeks to come. Everyone would have their eyes on the eligible bachelors, especially the mothers of Meryton.
Elizabeth was in the middle of trying to put up her stays when Lydia burst into the room. “Lizzy! Lizzy, hurry! We have visitors!” Lydia peeked her head around the screen, and Elizabeth came out, turning and motioning for Lydia to help her.
“Lady Lucas is early today,” Elizabeth said.
Lydia giggled. “It is not Lady Lucas.” She finished tightening the stays and leaned around Elizabeth’s side and looked up at her. “It is Mr Bingley!”
Elizabeth froze. “Mr Bingley?” Her heart quickened its pace. “Is he alone?”
“No, your gentleman has come with him. Mr Darcy.” Lydia grunted as she finished with the stays. She then went to retrieve Elizabeth’s gown, leaving her to stare in fright at herself in the mirror.
Her sister did not realise the depth of the upset her words had caused. Mr Darcy! Here in her cottage? Lydia seemed to amuse herself playing lady’s maid, arranging the folds of Elizabeth’s gown and even tying a white ribbon around the empire waist.
“You are very helpful today,” Elizabeth observed. “Thank you, Lydia.”
Lydia waved this off. “Mama says that if you or Jane can catch one of them, we will be saved. Do your best to be agreeable, Lizzy. I long to get out of this cottage and back into the world again!”